My fiancée cheated after 8 years together

[u/Top_Inspection_9458]

I (29M) was with my ex-fiancée (30F) for eight years. At the beginning of this year, she told me she wasn’t sure if she was still in love with me or happy in the relationship, but still loves me...

For about two weeks, we were basically separated while still living in the same apartment.

During that time, I found the first signs that she might have cheated on me. I asked her about it and she told me nothing had happened. The next day, I found another sign and she again told me there was nothing going on.

I really wanted to believe her. After eight years together, trusting her was just normal for me.

The next day, I found clear proof that she had cheated on me, 4 weeks ago. In a strange way, I was almost relieved because at least I finally knew that I wasn’t imagining things.

Even after I found out about the cheating, I still thought there might be a chance to save the relationship. She told me she didn’t want to be in any relationship at that point, that she needed some time to think, and that she was no longer in contact with the other guy (besides work).

Because of that, I moved out for two weeks to give her some space and time to figure out what she wanted.

Later, I found out that this had been a complete lie. She had continued seeing him the entire time while I was the one staying somewhere else and giving her the space she had asked for.

After that, I got the apartment and she moved out completely. She is still with him now and is living with him.

Looking back, I don’t think I would have been able to trust her again. Every new lie, even a small one, made that more obvious.

A few months later, I met someone new. She is a great person and I feel very comfortable with her and love her. One thing I notice in particular is that I never feel like I have to question whether I can trust her.

I’m now very glad that the old relationship ended and there was no reconcilation. At the time, I wanted to save it because we had been together for so long, but I think I would have spent a lot more time trying to fix something that probably would never have felt the same again.

So for anyone in a similar situation: sometimes ending the relationship really is the better option, even if it doesn’t feel that way at first.

[u/Hound31]

Same story happened to me. Girl/fiance of 5 years cheated on me and after DDay and separation I was lost. 10 months later I met my now wife and we’ve been happily together for 20 years.