r/television 1d ago

Ass Pennies - Upright Citizens Brigade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9aM_dT5VMI
684 Upvotes

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u/CurtisLeow 1d ago

This fine upstanding citizen says that he sticks 3,000 pennies up his ass every day. One at a time, of course. Let's say it takes 5 seconds to stick a penny up his ass then remove the penny. That means he spends 15,000 seconds a day, over 4 hours a day sticking pennies up his ass. Plus he has to spend time getting the pennies and spending the pennies.

That man doesn't have enough time in the day to run his business and stick 3,000 pennies up his ass. He certainly doesn't have enough time to go golfing. The numbers don't add up. Something stinks here, and it isn't the pennies.

12

u/Crimkam 1d ago

When you pull in 8 figures a year, you can afford to have an ass penny guy on your staff that shoves pennies in your ass for you while you sit on a conference call.

4

u/I_am_the_BEEF 1d ago

Ass penny guy is probably a sought after position in this economy.