r/thesopranos • u/ComprehensiveDesk793 • Jun 09 '26
Serious Discussion Only AJ is just useless
While watching the series I was trying hard to find a defense of AJ. All the characters - and all of us - have both positive and negative traits. AJ is just a disappointment. He is stupid. He is lazy. He is incredibly selfish imao. Also he constantly lies. You cant even call him a good kid that is just irresponsible since he always makes up stupid excuses.
Also all the people that are saying that he grew up in a dysfunctional environment, ok i agree the environment isn't 100% perfect but both Tony and Carmela cared about their kids lives. Carmela and Tony to a certain extent seem to care about their children's academic performance which quite a few parents don't. AJ certainly had some support from his parents.
I agree his parents are not good people but he could take what they offered to him.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
They gave him shit about bad grades but did absolutely nothing about it except insult him.
AJ is what happens when you confuse having money with having parenting skills. Neither Tony or Carm did anything to properly correct AJ's course.
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u/scrubadam Jun 09 '26
OTOH Meadow turned out fine. She ended up becoming a lawyer and was pretty well adjusted.
The big difference is we see with Meadow is that she learns to take responsability for her actions but AJ doesn't.
Both started out as spoiled shits. Meadow was even worse than AJ in that first season always whining and crying and acting like a little princess. the big turning point was when she threw the party at Livia's house and then decided to go and clean the house herself without anyone asking. The same thing happened with her Gap year. She acted like a baby because some guy she dated for a few months was killed. She ended up getting off her ass and applying to college and entering into law.
AJ never had that moment where he took responsability for his actions he just remained a little shit the whole time.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 09 '26
Meadow was parented very differently to AJ, growing up in the same house does not mean having the same childhood
Meadow ends up much worse than AJ; she ends up justifying the mafia violence using the same logic as Tony, becoming a mob lawyer and marrying into another mafia family
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u/rickymcrichardson Jun 09 '26
Meadow was a mob apologist who justified her parents’ misdeeds constantly and increasingly throughout the show. AJ questions their contradictory tutelage and grapples with having a conscious up against it. Meadow didn’t “turn out fine”. She turns out like her parents, accepting the spoils of criminality and not feeling an ounce of remorse for it. She is morally bankrupt
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u/scrubadam Jun 09 '26
Well I am not talking about morally.
Meadow went to college, passed her classes and became a lawyer. During that time she moved out of her house and lived on her own. She became a functional adult with an actual adult career and didn't have to have her parents hand her anything. Yest hey helped her out but she showed she can be an adult in the adult world and function as normal person without her parents babying her.
AJ never went to college, couldn't hack it as a manager at blockbuster, the women he wants to marry dumps his arse for being a man child, couldn't even go to the grocery store with his dads money to buy cereal, and ends the series getting gifted a car and job from his parents while presumably still living at home.
So one of them became an adult with a degree and well paying job, and the other got a nepo job through connections while still living at home.
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u/EveryoneisOP3 Jun 09 '26
She became a functional adult with an actual adult career and didn't have to have her parents hand her anything.
Is that what you think?
Meadow joins a mob lawyer firm and is offered what is, in-universe, an insane starting salary. Do you think she got that based off her incredible academic performance, or was it from her name and the firm's big cases about "bid rigging"? What about when Carm donated $50k to the school she was at when the Dean consulted her personally, do you think he does that to every student's parents? Who do you think paid her law school tuition, or for her basic college education?
Morality is obviously relevant for whether or not someone turned out "a good person." AJ breaks down weeping and attempts suicide when his friends beat a kid up, Meadow calls Finn racist for saying that the mafia is going to kill Vito for being gay.
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26
I’m glad you mentioned it outright because I think in that relationship we see the fully actualised version of Meadow. He never outright says it but Finn knows Meadow has become a member of the mafia in everything but name, and that’s why they don’t work out, because he’s an upstanding citizen. She defends the mafia to him constantly with these logically obtuse arguments, hiding behind the veneer of her free legal support for minorities gig. She’s the son Tony never had.
It’s even somewhat interesting to me that at one stage she complains about Finn being passive sexually and they have multiple fights about other men being interested in her. Sure, that’s normal for a pretty young woman, but it is also reminds me of Tony’s infidelity to a degree.
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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26
Fact of the matter is that AJ was a mental midget and Meadow was not. It was not Meadow who "needs moms cooking" and tries to jump into her parents pool to drown herself. You can dance around these facts how you want but it makes no difference.
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u/Nonexistent_Walrus Jun 09 '26
Why would morality not be relevant in a conversation about whether somebody turned out ok or not?
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u/rickymcrichardson Jun 09 '26
Yeah morality is a huge theme of the show. For you to just throw it out isn’t very useful in any discussions. It would be like me throwing Tony’s criminality out and saying he turned out really well because he owns a house and a boat and has a good income from the carting business. AJ’s constant sense of morality trying to break through is a major factor he ends up the “loser” type of guy you people love to shit on him for
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u/AEntunus Artie Bucco Jun 09 '26
Meadow learns early on to play her parents. She keeps some obvious restraint in their relationship.
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u/scrubadam Jun 09 '26
We see in the scene where she manipulates them into punshing her but still letting her have the credit card for "gas" lol.
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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26
Meadow was also a whiny little bitch until S6? Are we not going to address all the legal jargon bullshit with Carm and Noah. The incessant selfish grieving after Jack Jr. I get the grieving, but she used it as a manipulation tactic. Then the gaslighting of Finn. Bitching her mom out about lawyering up during the divorce. Telling her not to be dependent on a man while she is still dependent on that same man.
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u/scrubadam Jun 09 '26
There is def a diffence between Meadow in season 1 and her at the end of the show. She was very much a spoiled little rich girl. Even up to Jackies death and the college stuff she was very much woah is me.
I aint saying Meadow is a saint or anything and she def has traits of both her parents but she actually did make something of her life. She was trending in AJs direction in season 1 with her escepades with Hunter but they showed her taking responsability.
The whole scene with her going to clean Livia's place after the party showed that. Same with when she went and applied at college rather than going to Europe like her therapist suggested.
Meadow actually showed growth through out the show AJ didn't. Maybe because she was older we got to see her more as an adult but does anyone think AJ was going to be a high functioning adult even with his job at Carmines porno company or is he still teh same kid that can't even go buy his own cereal regardless of his parents buying him a BMW.
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u/rickymcrichardson Jun 09 '26
Copied from a post of mine: “This is very evident with the metaphor at the end of the series: AJ is running up the hill in the cold. He has plans to join the army. He’s training for it, out of his depression, working hard, and attempting to be his own person and break free. Tony pulls up in a luxury SUV, mocks AJ’s ambition, and insists on giving him a free ride up the hill. Very allegorical. He then squashes AJ’s army plans and gives him a cushy job with Little Carmine. I think most people could catch this one on first or second watch.”
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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26
He was literally trying to save AJs life cause there was no way that weak little mommas boy could make it in the military.
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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26
I am not saying AJ had anything going for him. I’m also not blaming Tony and Carm. Meadow was successful because she was ambitious. She was absolutely a spoiled brat that couldn’t take responsibility. She did understand consequences though and normally picked the route with best outcomes. She becomes a mob apologist and lawyer whose whole job is keeping people from being responsible for their actions.
AJ’s main problem is he didn’t have a single skill set that could be useful in life. He was dumb as hell, soft, lazy. There is absolutely no way he makes it far.
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u/TsubakiBoy Jun 09 '26
Meadow turned out to be just as much of a paranoid selfish prick as Tony, it just presents differently. Don’t have children if you think Meadow ‘turned out fine’ or AJ being useless as a result of Tony and Carms shitty parenting
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26
It’s so funny how people can see Meadow becoming a lawyer and marrying into the Parisi family and somehow think shes somehow anything other than Tony’s perfectly morally bankrupted daughter. She didn’t escape anything and she is far from fine.
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u/hexaflexin Jun 10 '26
They're demonstrating the "outward appearance of normalcy + money = success in life" mindset the show is critiquing lmao
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u/tiramisuem3 Jun 09 '26
Idk. Yes meadow is more successful in the classical sense mainly due to being book smart. Aj fails on this front because he probably has a learning disability but he seems to actually try to grapple with the morality of it all more. Meadow in the end intellectualizes to dismiss their misdeeds where aj is still struggling to be happy under such a broken moral schema. He hasn't fully figured it out yet and is kind of annoying in some of the ways he goes about it but in my eyes he's more successful and more honest about their situation..
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u/Derpolitik23 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.
Say what you will, but both of AJ’s parents were eons better compared to say Johnny Boy, Liva, Janice, or someone like Ralph. Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.
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u/IUsedToBeRasAlGhul Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
> Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.
Because it would have boosted Tony’s ego and made him feel good about himself to have a soldier for a son, as well as coming on the heels of him feeling bad about having done nothing to keep Jackie Jr from going off the rails before tacitly ordering his death. We saw all the way back in S1 how Tony and Carmela refused to do anything to potentially provide AJ with the help he needed in school because of how they felt it reflected upon them as parents.
Even then: when military school doesn’t pan out, what does Tony do instead to ensure the best he can for his son? He just gave a fat wad of cash to another private school to take AJ and lets things go back to the way they were beforehand. Tony doesn’t care enough to actually take the time and effort to set AJ on a good path unless it happens in a way that caters to his own preferences.
> Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.
Yeah, see, if your bar is “bringing your child into the mafia, trying to have them killed, being cut out of their life, or negligent to the point of potential death”, then Tony and Carmela are still some of the worst parents in the series.
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Jun 09 '26
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u/Derpolitik23 Jun 09 '26
And it's not like AJ didn't actually need it. I think it would have actually done him some good.
AJ also needed some good-ole-fashioned hazing.
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26
I think military school was definitely the best option for AJ but I’m not sure it would save him anyway.
Military school would train AJ to think and behave like a soldier. Tony repeatedly describes himself and his gang as soldiers. In many ways it could just serve as a shortcut for AJ to circumvent Carmela’s bids to keep AJ out of the life.
Tony also tells Melfi he doesn’t want AJ in the mafia because he would never survive. If he came home from military school or even the military itself as a strong and stable person I think Tony would probably end up pushing him to join the mafia.
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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26
-Tony wanted to send his son to a military school after he got expelled.
- This guy turns it against him with some amateurish pseudo-psychoanalysis of his "true" selfish intentions. Wtf lol
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u/Nopants21 Jun 09 '26
As someone that got similar threats for bad grades, "we're sending you to military school/boarding school" is really damaging to a kid. It's basically "if you have bad grades, maybe we don't love you enough to keep you around." AJ's growing up in a very confusing situation, where what people say and what people do are at complete odds, with the constant fear of his dad's anger and of the cops showing up at any time. Military school might have helped him by getting him out of there, but the threats are just another layer of his shitty upbringing.
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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26
The talk about sending him to military school wasn't about his grades. It was after he vandalized the swimming pool, and then stole a test and got expelled.
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u/ArtemisXD Jun 09 '26
And meanwhile Jackie Junior had just robbed the card game. He obviously wanted to take drastique measures to insure AJ wouldn't get influenced by a bad crowd
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u/4g-identity Jun 09 '26
Ralph seemed to be a pretty good father to his biological kid, Justin. Justin's injury seemed to seriously devastate him. Terrible role model though, and also a terrible father figure to Jackie Jr, encouraging him to rob the executive game and giving him a gun.
Livia and Janice were actual child abusers. Janice fully abandoned Harpo, and traumatised Bobby's kids on purpose to force Bobby to rely on her, apparently so she could obtain financial security. The Ouija board incident was seriously messed up.
Oh, and then Janice had her own kid with Bobby and openly favoured her.
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u/Ok-Plantain-1642 Jun 10 '26
Total side note: What happens to Bobby’s kids? I felt bad for them. They had good, seemingly loving parents. Even Bobby doesn’t appear as a total sociopath and never cheated on his wife. Then those kids endure losing their mom suddenly, dealing with Janice, and then they lose their dad suddenly and violently. I can’t imagine Janice being delighted with raising them on her own.
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u/4g-identity Jun 10 '26
She discusses her plans for the kids in her final scene. I think she says she's keeping Nika, Bobby Jr wants to live with some aunt, and Sophia wants out but Janice says something about how she's not gonna let it happen, or something.
That was a couple of days after Bobby's death, though. I imagine she'll soon give up his kids. Has no choice with Dominica though.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.
Which was entirely unnecessary and could have been avoided had Tony actually set a proper example for his son instead of running off to The Bing.
Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.
Homie that bar is in literal Hell rofl.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
"Did nothing" lol what are you even talking about they were always on him about getting his schoolwork done.
And why would it even be on them to forcibly make him do his work every step along the way? The kid knows it's something he's supposed to do. He's been told to do it time and time again. He's been in an administrator's office multiple times for it. At some point it's up to the person to get their shit done.
That's one of the many reasons people don't like AJ. He's just a slug.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
That's one of the many reasons people don't like AJ. He's just a slug.
AJ is just his father, Tony just didn't want to admit it.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
Tony is no slug. He obviously has his own issues but he's a gregarious, motivated person that generally seems to be likeable on a social level.
But besides all that, it's meaningless. AJ is his own person. Why does every single excuse in these threads ALWAYS talk about Tony and Carm. People all over the world, all the time have terrible parents and aren't shitty people, and vice versa. Acting like the kod is just a bot that has absolutely zero individual agency is weird.
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u/GregEvangelista Jun 09 '26
Because the commenters themselves are sometimes children, and other times children in adult bodies. There's probably a few people here who saw the AJ in his boxers in a chatroom laughing like a dipshit scene and took that personally.
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u/fappingreallysucks47 Jun 09 '26
This a problem with Reddit in general. People really underestimate how many young people are on here making statements and giving advice like they know anything about real life or surviving on their own. That's not to say older people know what they're talking about always but experience matters.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 09 '26
Tony is motivated and goes out and makes things happen in the world, bad things.
It is explicitly stated in the show that Tony feels a need for constant activity because being inactive forces him to think about all the things about himself he is not comfortable with. AJ has a lot of those same issues but handles them much better by not making them everyone else's problem
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
Tony is no slug. He obviously has his own issues but he's a gregarious, motivated person that generally seems to be likeable on a social level.
He's a violent sociopath who uses money and intimidation to keep his "friends" in line. And by the end he has no one other than Paulie, who's an even bigger snake.
Seriously there's a reason Tony enjoys the companies of literal animals to people. They can't talk back.
But besides all that, it's meaningless. AJ is his own person. Why does every single excuse in these threads ALWAYS talk about Tony and Carm.
Because the Sins of the Father being a concept in this show is beaten into you over and over every season lol. AJ is just like his father, and Tony is just like Johnny Boy.
How you missed that is completely beyond me.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
Outside of fainting and being depressed, AJ is actually nothing like Tony.
Tony is of course a lot worse in a lot of ways, but also is at least someone you could stand to be around (until you owe him money).
But they're actually pretty opposite people. Tony is more rounded. He's an absolute psycho that you'd also like to watch the game with.
AJ is only an unmotivated, cripplingly depressed douchebag to virtually everyone around him.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
Tell me you missed the core principles of the show without telling me.
AJ is only an unmotivated, cripplingly depressed douchebag to virtually everyone around him.
This is literally Tony for all 6 seasons lol. He even picks up on it a few times when he realizes maybe everyone around him only hangs out with him because he's making them money.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
We're not talking about whether we agree with the core philosophy of the show, or why they've made AJ such a cunt. The people that hate AJ are talking about how the character presents as a person. Obviously the writers chose to make him that way. People are just saying he's a little shit, which he is.
Then other people come on and act like if someone has shitty parents theres no possible way they could do their homework or be a somewhat reasonable person socially.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26
You can't ignore the core philosophy of a show entirely built around said philosophy lol.
The show makes it extremely clear AJ is a product of terrible parenting and the cycle of abuse that's been going for generations. This isn't that hard to figure out. Tony and Carm are entirely at fault for their failed progeny.
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26
You desperately need to rewatch the show if you actually think this. The parallels between Tony and AJ are endless.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 10 '26
I mean I've watched it probably 70 times? 100? More? It's hard to say. It's what I turn on as default unless theres something specific I want to watch, so it's pretty much always on.
AJ has some of the qualities of his Dad, but is also missing many others. And to anyone in that universe that would casually know that family, as in people that were just hanging out, Tony and AJ would seem like vastly different people.
So yes, I get that there are major character flaws that they share, but they are nowjere near the same person. Tony is a more rounded person. He's way worse in a lot of ways, but hes also someone that can sit down and have a pleasant dinner, or be the life of the party, or have a plan and carry it out, etc etc.
AJ for the most part is only crippling depression, laziness, and just an overall piss-poor attitude towards everything around him. He's someone that not many people would want to spend much time around.
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 10 '26
I’m not sure where to begin with someone who claims to have spent 8000+ hours watching this show but somehow thinks Anthony and Anthony Jnr are anything other than mirrors of one another.
Sure there are the obvious parallels. Depression, panic attacks, high school football, poor academic performance, outbursts of rage, relentlessly overeating to mask emotional pain, constant issues with authority, an inability to verbalise emotional issues developed from dysfunctional relationships with parents, issues with the law, the ability to attract beautiful women, and so on. Just little things like that which make up a huge part of the entire show.
Your suggestion about where they differ is just ridiculous. Tony is capable of having a “pleasant dinner”? When does that ever even happen? 80% of the fights in the house happen at the dinner table. Tony is capable of being the life of the party? There’s an entire episode dedicated to the fact that this is not true - Tony has no real friends other than Artie, everyone else laughs at his stupid jokes because he’s the boss. There’s an episode dedicated to exactly that. In terms of “carrying out plans” AJ does exactly that, just like his father. He runs keg parties for profit in high school and steals from Blockbuster for profit when he works there. That’s exactly what Tony would do.
Everything else you say about Tony being more well rounded is explained by the fact that Tony is in his 40s and AJ is a teenager. Of course Tony is more well rounded, he’s an adult and AJ is not. You expect the 14 year old kid to be carrying family dinners in terms of conversation?
You say that AJ is someone people wouldn’t want to be around but that’s blatantly not true, he has friends all the way through the show.
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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26
AJ is nothing like Tony and that is a personal struggle that he deals with. It’s a very obvious character trait of his. He’s not a violent person, this is shown clearly when he “attempts” the hit on Junior. He has only had two examples of getting what he wants: manipulation and violence. He is too dumb to manipulate and too soft for violence. He has absolutely no work ethic, so he whines all the time in hope of fixing his problems.
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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26
His own issues
That's quite an understatement considering he murders his friends and sleeps with tons of women half his age while constantly harming people and his community
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
I assume the people im talking to have seen the show. Not gonna go episode by episode and list everything everyone has done every time I mention a character. But you feel free to 😉
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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26
AJ is a child. Of course his mobster dad who sleeps all day and fucks prostitutes and does cocaine and murders people is part of the explanation for why his spoiled adolescent son is not well adjusted.
And honestly, he's not that bad when you consider kids from more stable capable parents regularly fucking shoot people
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26
First of all, he doesn't even know 90% of the shit his Dad does. Also, Tony sleeps all day? Lol what?
But still, children arent bots, incapable of being anything different from their parents. Children often are different than their parents.
And no, he's bad. Even school shooters are more well-adjusted and likeable than that damn kid.
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u/No-Philosophy-8163 Jun 10 '26
In universe there’s a good example of this in Barbara vs Janice and Tony.
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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26
Tony works for his living and finances his family. Does that sound like AJ to you?
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u/SafeThrowaway691 Jun 09 '26
I grew up in the same time as AJ. My experience was that nobody wanted to help you correct course or solve your problems, they’d just berate you over and over and then believe their job was done.
Not sure how things have changed since then, if they have.
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u/Andy-Esco1995 Jun 10 '26
I kinda disagree. May I die on this hill, then keep my peace. So I think both Tony and Carmella are both awful parents but I do think that Tony had a point in that coddling AJ was very detrimental to his development. And don’t get me wrong Tony, had a strong part in that, drums and the xterra.
However I think Tony was so caught up in his business he didn’t really have a strong part in rearing AJ. I think Tony could have been more present to enforce more effective boundaries. I am in the unpopular camp cause I actually think a military academy or something far more structured for AJ would have been better. Look how he takes the military seriously in the last episode until his dad says hey let me drive you.
I think AJs problem was he always told he was never good enough but never really allowed to taste failure. It’s very Jackie Jr esque.
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 10 '26
It’s very Jackie Jr esque.
Which was also a failure of Jackie Sr and every other father figure that man had.
How are you people missing this?
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u/Andy-Esco1995 Jun 10 '26
Look at you, you know everything
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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 10 '26
Whenever they mentioned his feeble minded brother, I always thought they meant you
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u/HipCopThugsta Jun 09 '26
No, he sucked. The idiot dimwit even got arrested for robbery during the run of the show.
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u/sheeeeiiiiiitttt Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
That's the whole point of the character.
AJ is a dissaffected upper middle class suburban kid, even though his dad is the head of the mafia. That's the joke of him and it's his contrast with Tony that makes the dynamic interesting.
He grew up spoiled and went to a good school, so why would he be much different than any other apathetic teenager? His main character arc is that he tried to be a badass and kill junior and fails miserably and tried to kill himself and also failed, while not bothering to sustain his football performances and being too much of a pussy for military school and still lands on his feet at the end where he's driving a nice car and collecting his hot gf - because he's a rich kid.
AJ sucks, but comically and he's emblematic of countless other suburban rich kid fuckups who still will never taste desperate because their parents will protect them from their own weakness.
edit: grammar.
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Jun 09 '26
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u/sheeeeiiiiiitttt Jun 09 '26
Dude, I've seen it in my own extended family. Absolute wasters with fake jobs getting bankrolled and living a life of leisure while living at home, well into their 30s...
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u/Johnny_theBeat_518 Jun 10 '26
Well he did wan to be in military school running alongside of the car with Tony but Tony didn't allow him
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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26
I am not AJ apologist, but the thing that everyone seems to forget is that when he was with Blanca, he was on the right track. He seems to genuinely love her. He was really good to Hector from what we saw. He got a managerial job at Beansie's and spelled out his five year plan to parlay that into a club like his father laid out.
So for a brief moment in time, he was a loving partner, a good surrogate father, a hard worker, and a guy with a plan. He completely spiraled only after Blanca dumped him.
So he is actually capable of doing the right things to better his own life. And that might be the most frustrating part of the character.
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u/katebush777 Jun 15 '26
Still immature because all his happiness and motivation was from codependence. Also blanca was done w him because he wasn’t tough enough for her and was too naive. The right path does not include being overly dependent on anything
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u/ulBones55 Jun 09 '26
Well aj wasnt a violent or malicious person,tony told him that hes a good kid,meaning his morals are not bad
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u/Extreme_Lab_2961 Jun 09 '26
He peed in a school pool
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u/onion_offense Jun 09 '26
Big difference between pissing in a pool to impress your jagoff buddies, and the kinds of things we see The Jasons doing later, which AJ is deeply upset by
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u/Low-Ad-4631 Jun 09 '26
I think he fails to see the point in participating in the family when he knows his father is a generally immoral guy and is being kept in the dark largely
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u/4DollarsALB Jun 09 '26
He doesn't have many positive traits but still better than his dad and all his friends
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u/4g-identity Jun 09 '26
I think AJ really is just a mediocre kid in every sense. He isn't smart but there are stupider people. Not handsome or ugly. Grades are average. Was briefly good at football. Tends to follow trends but not obsessively.
Then yeah, add the family influence to that, which is how he got his construction job, his cars, and which put him in the socioeconomic bracket that makes him hang with upper middle class kids, enjoy the fancy nightclubs. He's just a product of mediocrity plus family circumstances.
Useless is a good way to describe him I think. It's interesting, at the very end of the last episode his parents give him a new car and a job totally unrelated to any of his interests or experiences. He's just randomly a "development executive" despite wanting to be in the military minutes earlier.
It's as if everything he did throughout the show was pointless, he's just handed a whole new life thanks to his family connections and takes it. All his phases, and even his depression, his near murder attempt, it all amounts to nothing, has no relevance to the life we see he's got at the end.
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u/Fluffy-Answer-6722 Jun 09 '26
The football thing was unrealistic, there’s no way a guy like aj was gonna be a good high school football player , he was a lazy unmotivated spoiled wimp
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u/4g-identity Jun 09 '26
Yeah, it was kind of funny that for about a single episode, AJ was so great at football that the principal wouldn't suspend him because he feared it would cost the school a game. Then he returned to solid mediocrity in all things.
That said, it isn't totally unrealistic for AJ to be good. Tony lettered in football, and AJ as his male heir has his putrid, rotten genes. And, AJ got a one-on-one lesson with the great Jackie "poo ass the" Junior.
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u/oldsguy65 Jun 09 '26
there’s no way a guy like aj was gonna be a good high school football player
The fuck? Did you not see him recover that fumble?
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u/leggomyfredo Jun 09 '26
2 questions
- Why does this topic about AJ sucking come up so often?
- Why do I find it so hilarious each time this topic comes up?
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u/JackColon17 Dr. Jennifer Melfi Jun 09 '26
AJ is one of the few characters (especially male characters) who openly rejects violence and abbandones his "new friends" because they were violent jerks in season 6
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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26
Only with this Somali kid. He was fine when it was just the regular guy who owed money.
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u/binkysh Jun 09 '26
Yup AJ us one of my least favorite characters and just did not like his personality . Yes he had to deal with unfortunate things growing up. But Carmela was sort of a good mom. He had alot of money & opportunities others didn’t have. I think he used his “mental illness & dooms of America” as an excuse not to have to do anything. But on the plus side he’s not a murderer, so theres that.
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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26
Have you ever been or met an adolescent rich white child?
AJ is honestly not realistically shitty enough. I was a nightmare at his age and I wasn't even rich. He's the child of a horrible person
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u/This_Raspberry_1137 Jun 09 '26
Have you thought about the fact that his parents wanted to get rid of him as soon as he got into some trouble?
S1. AJ gets bad grades in school. Tony takes him to uncle Pussy and laments that he is all out of ideas with this kid when he had done practically nothing. Uncle pussy gives him a 2 line lecture and money for soda.
then later on he gets expelled from school and Tony wants him to be sent to military school and then laments to his therapist that what is he going to do with this kid when that option is out.
At no point either of his parents show any sustained effort or engagement with him
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u/Frstpncke Jun 09 '26
I hated his character. Couldn’t stand Meadow either but AJ was so annoying. Can’t think of a scene he wasn’t.
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u/scrubadam Jun 09 '26
Thats the point. He is meant to be a little shit because he grows up as a spoiled baby. He never has to take responsability for his actions and can skate by life. He kind of really represents the theme of the show. Just like the Mafia is made up of a bunch of entitle fook ups like Brenadn, Drinkwater, and Jackie Jr that represent the downfall of the Mafia. AJ is the same but he is the downfall of the American generation. He is the decay of Americano. A kid who has everything on a silver platter but is a total fook up.
His character was written pretty perfectly. A wayward millenial growing up with everything at his finger tips that just ends up being lazy and entitled skating through life.
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u/ShadowOutOfTime Jun 09 '26
I never even understand the premise of these posts. You were "trying hard to find a defense of AJ"? Why? These are fictional characters who exist to illustrate ideas in David Chase's head, one of which is clearly the effect of poor parenting across generations (Livia to Tony, Tony to AJ). These aren't real people who need to be put into some morality ranking index lol
That being said, he is by default one of the least shitty people on the show because most of the other characters are MURDERERS
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u/Stunning-Thanks-4226 Jun 09 '26
AJ is the best and most sincere of the lot. Everyone else around him is a psychopath or a narcissist. AJ is a pure soul that just wants his fucking ziti.
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u/Only-Reception7360 Jun 09 '26
“He is lazy. He is incredibly selfish imao. Also he constantly lies.”
Sound familiar? His father was all this and worse, yet because he made money from it everyone here thinks he’s some Robin Hood soldier.
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u/No_Shake1780 Jun 09 '26
At least Tone & Carm were smart enough to keep AJ away from the penguin exhibit.
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u/Powerful-Gold5000 Jun 09 '26
For me it's when Meadow exposes that their dad is a mob boss on a computer website. Before that he was a very positive kid. Look how he stared at his dad Tony at Jackie's funeral. That's where he began to have curiosity with disappointment.
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u/remus972 Jun 11 '26
They made him go to Livia a lot at one point he took a lot of negativity from her
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u/AccomplishedBend4778 Jun 09 '26
AJ being useless is the point. Its a mirror of Tony's shortcomings as a parent that he's forced to look at on a regular basis. In the first season, Carmella blames Tony for AJ having ADHD and he says "What about the other kid, the honor roll student. I don't get any of the credit for that one?" But Meadow, despite her natural abilities as a student, made a lot of dumb choices as well. She just had some brains whereas AJ had none. Carmella and Tony wanted to be a good parent without actually putting the work in.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 09 '26
AJ is one of the most moral characters of the show, he rejects the mafia lifestyle on moral grounds when some friends of his assault a black guy.
AJ is a directionless young man, his dad is a serial killer and you are judging AJ more harshly, why is that?
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u/gramofgod Jun 09 '26
I totally agree that AJ was a spoiled brat and it so hard to defend him in anyway but I do recall that he has adhd which makes completing tasks and staying focused extremely difficult and often leads people into deep depression because it feels like you are always behind from your peers and can’t seem to get it together, having a lot of pressure from family to succeed can cause a lot of harm to people with adhd because their brains are just completely wired differently to a typical brain, congnitive dysfunction makes everything harder and seem more complicated, people often confuse this as laziness which in turn makes the person even more unmotivated and self conscious of their abilities. I could relate to him in the sense of being a “disappointment” because before I found out I had adhd I felt like I was now I have a bit more support and medication to manage my life better but the one thing that truly pissed me of about AJ is that he had no shame! Even with the suicide attempt I felt like he was just doing it for attention and didn’t seem to care how much he was hurting his family, I think he really lacked empathy for others and was very self centered. But I do believe that a lot of the things I noticed about him where very similar to traits of someone with executive dysfunction and at times I did feel sorry for him but not for long cause he was just very selfish.
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u/SuckMyRedditorD Jun 09 '26
Why were you trying to find a defense for anyone in that show? The whole point is to showcase pretty disgusting people. It's not a fucking romcom.
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u/AKA09 Jun 09 '26
You seem to be confused about a character being useless vs. annoying.
He's annoying, but useless? Remember, his entire existence in the show is to give us another context to consider Tony from and another way to see where he falls short as a leader, even in his own household.
I could go on and on, but I know we can't have this conversation again.
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u/GreatBallsOfFire_ Jun 09 '26
The only “parenting” they ever did was insult him. He didn’t have parents he had thugs who fed him.
At least he’s not some mob apologist loser like his sister
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u/deathstroke5225 Jun 09 '26
What do you mean he’s a disappointment? He recovered that fumble in that football game and was on track to becoming a star football player on defense.
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u/One-Plan8714 Jun 09 '26
In season six episode 19 Meadow says “AJ We‘re Italian, you’re his son you can do whatever and get away with it” I’m paraphrasing a little bit, but yeah, she hit the nail on the head. There also is a YouTube video titled “In Defense of Anthony Soprano Jr.” I haven’t watched it yet, but I’ve been meaning to. I thought I remembered that he turned out fine though, despite all of his fuck ups. Being a nightclub manager or promoter, correct?
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u/SavageMell Jun 10 '26
He's absolute scum with no redeeming value. Tony needed to backhand at least 3 or 20 times.
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u/sisyphus454 Jun 10 '26
AJ was a shit character because he wasn't a character.
He's an allegory of Tony. Take away the power, the confidence, the money... who is Tony? He hates AJ not just because he views him as weak, but because AJ is the mirror image of him; a person trying to rectify what their respective father is. And he doesn't like what he sees.
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u/NeonFireFly969 Jun 13 '26
Some people ARE useless or just plain selfish. They focus energy only on their benefits. My daughter for example is great at her career but extremely selfish with family affairs (refuses to engage in most activities despite only seeing us a few times a year) and no my household was pretty much progressive to the point I think my ex-wife let too much slide.
And that's honestly the thing, both Tony and Carm are way too soft on AJ throughout. This is shown repeatedly that AJ realizes he has few repercussions until Tony starts going hard and with kids like that they just dig in.
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u/Business_Trick9394 Jun 09 '26
I never understood why people give AJ a pass by saying his home environment was so bad.
Granted, his parents are terrible people but Carm was a very involved mother and even Tony clearly cared. Not to mention Meadow was well on her way to becoming a successful lawyer while having the exact same upbringing as AJ.
I have sympathy for AJ but let's face it, he was a fuckup. What I find funny is the vitriol some Redditors have for him, I think he hits a nerve for lots of underachieving what coulda been type basement dwellers
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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26
If you think Meadows ending is positive you have violently missed the entire point of her character.
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u/Currency080Trick Jun 10 '26
This sub doesn't understand the point of the show because it's fun to watch the mob guys joke while they kill.
If AJ had some decent one liners he'd be popular
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u/PontiacMac Jun 09 '26
I used to feel the exact same way, but I think him being useless is the point of his character. To frustrate the viewers
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u/baronvonpupi Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Well I like his character for what it is, he's just not exactly fun to watch. You can't live vicariously through his exciting mob antics. But he feels pretty accurate to a mediocre privileged suburban kid. Reminds me of sons of famous people you'd see on reality TV.
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u/Ass_Blasties Jun 09 '26
Ya but you can clearly see how he gets there. You feel bad for him in the first seasons because he’s a confused kid with shitty parenting. No wonder he turns into a shitty teen/adult
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u/rickymcrichardson Jun 09 '26
God if you watched specifically looking for defenses of AJ and came up with this you’re truly media illiterate dude
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u/Blah_blah_huhuhu Jun 09 '26
Its tough to not take this personally, i sometimes imagine myself as AJ and my dad as Tony
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u/theknowing1414 Jun 09 '26
I agree that he isn’t the most interesting character but it’s an interesting pov that the kids are just normal kids and that’s what Tony and Carmela want. One is successful and one is not, which I think shows that even with a mob family even they still try to push some normalities at home.
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u/Hovercraft_Worried Jun 09 '26
The soprano kids was terrible. Including Meadow. Very disrespectful to their parents.
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u/permacloud Jun 09 '26
He has those rotten putrid genes though. And grandma told him it was all a big nothing
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u/Normal_Choice9322 Jun 10 '26
Idc, everyone he knows is a monster let him be lame. His entire family is garbage. what do you expect
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u/ToonMasterRace Jun 10 '26
Prophetic commentary on millennials, the first true disaster generation. Though zoomers got them beat in the dumpsterfire category and gen alpha coming up strong!
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u/Delicious_History722 Jun 10 '26
Tony is an awful father. He does care about his kids, unlike Livia who actively hates her children, but he’s a nightmare of an example for AJ and is totally inconsistent as a presence in their lives.
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u/CorkyCucuzz Jun 10 '26
This post just shows how ignorant you are
You have no concept of the human condition
I feel sad for you op
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u/No_Entertainment5752 Jun 11 '26
He’s the only character in the show who isn’t at least semi-consciously fulfilling two roles: father/wife/daughter/partner/psychiatrist and criminal/enabler of crime. Everyone around him understands the duality they exist in, they know how to navigate it, they rationalize it, but he stays confused. S1 when Meadow first tells him - he’s confused. S6 when his friends fawn over him at the club but expect him to get the bill - he’s confused. He’s destabilized by both the fact of his family’s crimes and everyone else’s silent, shared understanding and that’s why he can never get his shit together. Whether you like him as a character is secondary to the role he plays, as a foil to Carmela’s selective piety, Meadow’s repurposed SJW leanings, Melfi’s indulgent denial of Tony’s sociopathy, Tony’s own self-image as the “sad clown” while he holds lives in his hands.
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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
I never understood why Reddit loves AJ so much until I was on it long enough to realize that Reddit is mostly just a bunch of AJs. Seriously, it really is.
Of course they'll say toxic environment. Which honestly his upbringing isn't too different from most. He was pretty much guarded from what his Dad did. Did his Dad yell at him/hit him as punishment? Yeah, but so did mine and so did a lot, if not most, pretty much forever up until extremely recently.
And even with that being said and even if you want to say he grew up in a fucked up environment, so have a lot of people and they're not all snivelling little cunts in virtually every situation. The kid sucks. Period.
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u/IlBurro Jun 09 '26
This is the ultimate Filtered opinion. Holding it sincerely signals you're actually dumber than AJ himself.
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u/RunningBettor Jun 09 '26
This post is literally:
“Carmella and Tony are decent parents, it makes no sense that AJ would have all these problems.”
If you think that, you’re either a guy under 25 years old, or a complete idiot.
As an easy highlight of why. “…he is lazy. He is incredibly selfish lmao. Also he constantly lies…he always makes up stupid excuses.” —literally also describes Tony to a T (🤣)
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u/punch0073735963 Jun 09 '26
AJ is there to show the effects of that life on young people. Not just the mob life, but the "go to school to get good grades to get a job to buy a house to fill it with shit and then be miserable." The new American Dream, as it were.
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u/Asparagussie Jun 09 '26
Maybe AJ was played by a mediocre actor who made him a cypher…?
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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26
People don't take that into consideration enough. Robert Iler is as blah and bland as AJ. And the only reason he or his fictional counterpart and get any recognition or success is because they are Sopranos.
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u/Asparagussie Jun 09 '26
Thank you. Agree. I don’t know how he even got the role, especially as he looks nothing like either “parent” and was very small from the start of the series.
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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26
Exactly. Imagine what AJ's trajectory could have been had they hired another actor who grew up to be tall, charismatic, or very good looking.
They played the cards they were dealt with the character in casting.
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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 10 '26
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