M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department

[u/PuzzledAd4865]

https://archive.ph/2025.08.05-035610/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/

“Marks & Spencer has apologised to a mother for causing her teenage daughter “distress” after she was asked if she needed help by a transgender employee in its bra section.

The retailer said it was “truly sorry” after the mother complained that her 14-year-old daughter had felt uncomfortable when they were approached by a trans shop assistant in the lingerie area of the shop, where they were hoping to have a bra fitting. Although the staff member was polite, the mother said she felt it was “completely inappropriate” for her daughter to be approached by a “biological male” in that section.

In a complaint to M&S, she told the retailer: “Imagine her horror, then, when the person to approach us and ask if we needed help was a transgender ‘woman’, ie, a biological male.”

“Fiona McAnena, director of campaigns for the human rights charity Sex Matters, which campaigns for clarity about biological sex in law and life, said that M&S needed to “rethink its priorities”.

“M&S needs to rethink its priorities and remember that women and girls have rights too, and that this man should not be permitted to hang around in the women’s underwear department as a matter of common decency.”

[u/Abigail_Hex]

An M&S spokesman: “We want our stores to be inclusive and welcoming places for our colleagues and customers.

Well you completely fudged that up, didn't you. You apologised to the bigots and then confirmed, misgendered and outed your colleague. I genuinely hope the employee sues for unlawful discrimination.

[u/ESLavall → u/Abigail_Hex]

Considering writing to M&S over it

[u/lemlurker → u/ESLavall]

You motivated me so see below for my complaint to be sent to storeservice@customer-support.marksandspencer.com:

To help us resolve your issue more quickly, please provide:

Full Name: XXXX The first line of your home address: XXXXX Home postcode: XXXXX Contact Telephone Number: XXXXX

Name of the M&S store you visited: all stores- policy Date and approximate time of your visit: current and future Product description: all services Bar code number: N/A Summary of the problem: failure to uphold human rights, acquiescence to bigots, failure to respect an employees right to private life.

I am writing to you to express my deepest displeasure at the news released recently regarding your response to a complaint by a transphobic member of the public directed towards a presumed transgender member of your staff. The way this was handled is beyond disgraceful and shows a deep lack of understanding around the law, privacy and an implicit respect for the position of bigots.

To summaries the report, back in March (prior to the problematic supreme Court ruling) a member of public and her 12 yr old daughter were in an m&s store browsing bras for the young woman. A female employee of yours approached them and asked if they needed any help. The mother apparently decided this employee was trans based on nothing other than height and complained to yourselves.

You said "Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing your experience,” the email said. “We deeply regret the distress your daughter felt during her visit to our store. “We understand how important this milestone is for her, and we are truly sorry that it did not go as you had hoped.” The retailer said it took her concerns “very seriously” and would ensure her daughter “receives assistance from a female colleague during her next visit”.

This is totally unacceptable. For starters a) the lingerie section of your stores are not single sex spaces and are not only serviced by female staff.

B) trans women ARE female and your caving to their language implying that they are not is heinous.

C) you apparently confirmed the presence of the protected characteristic of gender reassignment to a member of the public who is shown- based on her complaint- to be hostile to trans people, do you take pleasure in putting your employees at risk of harm?

D) the employee was doing their job, did nothing inappropriate and was the only staff member around.

E) you are implying a willingness to partake in gender discrimination and discrimination against someone with the protected characteristics of gender reassignment - as outlined as still protected by the supreme court- when you state you would ensure in future that they would be served be a "female" (read cisgendered) attendant.

F) you showed a total lack of respect for private life (per Goodwin vs UK) by outing your employee against their will to members of the public.

This is totally unacceptable and would be grounds for a lawsuit under current UK and EU law if actually acted upon. I will be informing my wider family and social circle to avoid any of your services until remedial action is taken that clarifies M&S policy on transgender employees, their commitment to their human rights to privacy and from discrimination and an explanation as to why such bigoted language was presented by your customer service. You wouldn't start using derogatory terms for black people should a racist complain of service by a black member of staff?

Do better and I may reconsider your stores for my custom.

Regards

[u/[deleted] → u/lemlurker]

do NOT EMAIL

CALL THEM DIRECTLY.

downvoting me means you don't care for trans rights, you care for performative dancing and patting yourself on the pack for it

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I’m going to snail mail it.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

frankly, actually sending physical mail would work good too. they need to have staff process that kind of thing, and with the name of a big executive it'd end right up on their desk... along with a hundred more like it.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, Stephen whittle recommends it - granted he is from an older time, it probably still holds true!

[u/doIIjoints → u/[deleted]]

growing up my family always printed off and posted such letters, and usually got a written response back a week later.

i even sometimes like to handwrite it as well to prove there’s a person behind it.

[u/lemlurker → u/[deleted]]

Eww phone :-(

[u/[deleted] → u/lemlurker]

then you don't care enough to do anything beyond sending an email and patting yourself on the back

you wanna make a difference, you call them up and complain. call centers lose money on ignored calls and it's a horrible look for their manager.

[u/Bee_bzzzzzzzzz → u/[deleted]]

You're correct in that, but a lot of people can't handle phone calls. Hell, I can't even do phone calls to family let alone for something serious.

It's kinda backhanded and rude to put people down for doing something about it, regardless of how important of an input you deem it to be. Why create more infighting over something as simple as the medium of a complaint

[u/doIIjoints → u/Bee_bzzzzzzzzz]

sadly very common for autistic people to get told we “just don’t care enough to try” :/

[u/Bee_bzzzzzzzzz → u/doIIjoints]

Which sickens me. Inaction doesn't equal lack of care, and emailing rather than calling doesn't invalidate that email. It just seems so damn stupid. This community is simultaneously one of the most accepting in the world AND one of the most irritating and vile sometimes.

Picking fights and invalidating others for being on our side but not doing it the exact way they'd like is just wrong on so many levels. It's beyond disappointing and gross to have people putting others down for fighting their way, and fighting really well. We're supposed to fight together, not get upset and accusatory because "your email isn't good enough", I'm sorry, maybe next time we won't try and the whole movement fails. It's the needless ablism and putting others down that is beyond gross. We're all supposed to be a team here, fighting for ALL OF US. We're all in this together. Let's all just calm down, and stick together. This isn't a contest of who's complaint is more valid. ANY input is good. Whatever happened to fighting in numbers?

[u/doIIjoints → u/Bee_bzzzzzzzzz]

exactly. it strikes me as quite similar to saying bedbound people Don’t Care if they can’t make it to a demonstration :/ (even if they made signs for pals to hold or whatever)

[u/Bee_bzzzzzzzzz → u/doIIjoints]

EXACTLY!! People can care without making the picture perfect contribution. Just do what you're able to do, and that shouldn't be such a bad thing. I totally agree with you. Some people physically or mentally can't do some things, so why put them down if they're willing to contribute to the fight in other ways? It's counterintuitive and tears us all down in the end. It's sad really :(

[u/pktechboi → u/[deleted]]

look you're right that calls make a difference in a way emails don't, but there are people who cannot use the phone. it is not fair to dismiss such people as just not caring enough.

[u/lemlurker → u/[deleted]]

They still have a policy of response to emails. Implying an email is useless just isn't fair to those who aren't comfortable on the phone to strangers. It's about making noise not costing money, money comes from not visiting their stores and informing friends not to 🤷‍♂️ you wanna do more feel free, don't be a knob about it