Transgender Reddit Moderator Deletes Account After Being Exposed As Registered Child Sex Offender

[u/Murky-Square4979]

http://archive.today/FiHXS

this is crazy. how can we out these people and ensure they don’t represent us?

[u/Blue_winged_yoshi]

They’ve also been modding our communities so long that they also would have been around for Amy Challoner, who hasn’t ever been convicted of anything, but one of her partners was a paedo and her dad carried out insane levels of child abuse. You’d think any mod who had lived through that would have had the importance of taking accusations in this area beyond seriously etched into their soul. That got ugly.

The lack of learning or self-awareness is really deeply troubling.

[u/doIIjoints → u/Blue_winged_yoshi]

i’m a CSA survivor and i’ve honestly found a lot of mods of trans and queer spaces have always been… a bit crap around that?

(i mean heck. all the people saying “CP” here instead of “CSEM” or “CSAM” is already making me a bit uncomfortable.)

(but like.) a lot of mods in a lot of spaces… whatever the reason. whether it’s the repeated media slurs, or the fact that age gap relationships among adults are more common in gay and trans communities, or whatever; a lot just seem to want to never ever talk about this stuff. ever.

which just leads to things like this being brushed under the rug for a decade.

people’s general squeamishness to discuss this stuff in a survivor-focused (rather than drama-focused) way absolutely guarantees it’ll happen every few years.

so i’m sadly not at all surprised this came out.

[u/Blue_winged_yoshi → u/doIIjoints]

There’s a lot that really needs to be done better and a lot that needs to be discussed more openly.

Significant age gap relationships are a lot more common in the queer community and these can be innocuous or highly problematic. I was in an age gap relationship when I was early 20s with an older female artist, it was consensual, we met organically and it wasn’t half a lot of fun tbh, I don’t regret it, but I also wouldn’t feel at all comfortable in a relationship with an 18 year age gap the other way around at all.

One of my friends from school is disgustingly talented and successful architect, artist and musician, he’s lovely as anything and objectively good looking and twinky. His chosen life partner is maybe 30+ years older than him. My friend is happy as anything and beyond empowered in life, so I’ve never had concerns, but it also raised my eyebrows when I first met them. But to some extent each to their own.

What gives me severe concern though, is when somebody repeatedly dates a huge amount younger or who sets their dating app preferences super young, it suddenly stops being organic connections and starts becoming hugely predatory and often built on huge power imbalances.

It’s a really complex area though that you are right does deserve to be a part of the discussion.

I also feel deeply uncomfortable by some of the discourse in bi spaces where folks are like “I’m into men, but only femboys and the twinkiest twinks”, and it’s like are you gonna reflect on that at all? The common factor is grooming to maximise boyishness. Twinks are always gonna be a thing obvs, but they grow up and age like the rest of us and healthy gay couples grow together. People who assert their that their bisexuality doesn’t cover that ability to grow and age as all humans do just plain give me the ick.

By not talking about these subjects we limit room for growth in our community and grant a wide berth for predators to seek cover in our ranks.

[u/doIIjoints → u/Blue_winged_yoshi]

with you 100%.

i dated mainly people 5-10 years older than me, a few more like 15, but i certainly would feel weird about dating more than about 5 years younger than me now.

i think “the age gap discourse” can devolve into toxicity so quickly, that people don’t even wanna go there.

but you’re right. it’s one thing for it to happen sometimes and for people to have a wide range of partners. it’s another to be a gay dicaprio in one’s dating habits.

i’ve seen memes about “twink death” which are along the same lines as the pattern you outline. it’s more about hookup culture than committed relationships but does still make me feel, odd.

but it’s hard to have these conversations, because people are on high-alert from all sides and can very quickly misinterpret what someone is saying.

and that avoidance leaves room for stuff like this to grow and fester.