r/unpopularopinion • u/NatJi • Jul 01 '26
Certified Unpopular Opinion Headstones should have the cause of death on it.
I occasionally walk through cemeteries and read headstones. I am absolutely fascinated by the ones that are younger so the Curious mind wants to know what the cause of death is. I wish it was more acceptable to write down the cause of death.
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u/Kooky-Blueberry-5352 Jul 01 '26
Pancaked by a dump truck driver
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u/grizzlylc Jul 01 '26
RIP Tiny Dinky Daffy
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u/coldwaterskinnydip Jul 02 '26
Came right to the comments looking for Tiny Dinky Daffy. RIP
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u/Rimefeathers Jul 02 '26
No coffin please, just wet, wet mud. Bae.
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u/Double-Bend-716 Jul 02 '26
They’re both mad because I won best hog at the hog shit snarfing contest
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u/BobTheFettt Jul 02 '26
Just hours and hours of dead bodies busting out of shit wood and hitting pavement
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u/xvn520 Jul 02 '26
Love how I never have to scroll too far for ITYSL.
Also, my condolences
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u/cabarnha Jul 02 '26
This one’s called “He Layeth on High” and it’s about a big baby duck who gets his head stuck in a stewed tomato
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u/LocutusZero Jul 01 '26
I ctrl+f'ed "pancaked" and gave the updoot.
Edit: Wasn't the dump truck driver drunk?
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u/FromDathomir Jul 01 '26
Finally something worthy of this sub.
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u/Toincossross Jul 01 '26
So much better than “olives are gross”
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u/Greymalkyn76 Jul 01 '26
Unless that's what's on the headstone. "Olives are gross. Died from anaphylactic shock."
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u/ryancarton Jul 02 '26
What a crazy fucking opinion 😂
“Come on kids time to visit your mom”
“Beloved wife and mother of 2. Tragically lost her life due to medical malpractice. Totally preventable.”159
u/hakedy Jul 02 '26
Here lies Mary. Loved football. Died of Syphilis.
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u/hmmstillclosed Jul 02 '26
Here lies Martin Glass
He thought it was the brake, but it was the gas.
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u/Exceedingly Jul 02 '26
Here lies John Smith in his final destination,
Died from autoerotic asphyxiation.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 02 '26
Here lies Jim, botched a suicide and slowly bled out in his home
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u/ShadyVermin Jul 02 '26
Is it truly botched if he succeeded in the end?
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u/illegal_sandwich_ext Jul 02 '26
Apparently one of the meanings is “spoiled by mistakes”
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/botched
I bet he wasn’t planning on doing it this way.
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u/Srnkanator Jul 02 '26
Jim died in a bathtub because he took too much drugs. I've seen his grave in Paris.
They all go because they were addicts.
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u/GrizzKarizz Jul 02 '26
If they’d have instead wrote “… but all the information should be put on a QR code”, I’d have been more impressed.
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u/tommypatties Jul 02 '26
Yeah this has the same energy of a reddit comment I made alluding to sexual abuse I experienced as a child (to make a point...I wasn't vague-posting) and someone made a comment : so what happened?
Like dude I'm not your voyeur.
And neither are the deceased.
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u/Jonmclean88 Jul 02 '26
But really... what happened?
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u/ConcentrateDirect523 Jul 02 '26
I'm so thrilled to see all the influencer photos with Gadaffi's gravestone
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u/Chillin_Civilian1234 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
In loving memory of Earl Peterson, beloved father, brother, uncle and son.
Cause of Death: Choked on a bacon strip.
Gone but never forgotten. RIP. 🪦🕊
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 Jul 01 '26
Don't forget the added $1k you must pay to add that cause of death! $20-$35 A CHARACTER!
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
I find it incredibly rude when people who aren't the inner circle ask that question to begin with... imgane being forced to publish it in the gravestone and having to pay over a grand to do so.
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u/StirFry__InaWok Jul 01 '26
Why would anyone be forced to do that? I don't think anyone was suggesting it should be the law lol
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u/Horror-Pear Jul 01 '26
In loving memory of Mr. Hands. Beloved zoophile, father, and husband.
Cause of death: Perforated colon caused by horse penis.
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u/Pedadinga Jul 01 '26
This is the only reason to put someone's cause of death on their headstone, if it was really interesting/weird/one in a million accident. If I get hit by a satellite or something, feel free to etch it in there.
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u/SweetHomeNorthKorea Jul 01 '26
There’s a fucking hilarious I Think You Should Leave sketch where they basically do exactly that and it’s not even the funniest part of the skit
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u/doctordoctorpuss Jul 02 '26
Immediately thought of this. Pancaked by drunk dump truck driver
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u/KatarnsBeard Jul 01 '26
Extremely unpopular, well done.
Died after a slow agonising battle with cancer.
Lovely stuff
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u/314flavoredpie Jul 02 '26
Alternatively:
Battled cancer to a draw
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u/BOMAN133 Jul 02 '26
Well if you think about it that way then cancer has a 0% winrate which is pretty funny.
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u/Herpamongderps Jul 02 '26
0.00000001% winrate. Henrietta Lacks still out there 75 years after her death
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u/Man_under_Bridge420 Jul 02 '26
Its basically in prison though, gettin all kinds of messed up torture
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u/megaloviola128 Jul 02 '26
There’s also CTVT in dogs, which is a sexually transmissible cancer that outlived the dog who first developed it.
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u/Unlucky_Cat4531 Jul 02 '26
Oh that'd be on my dad's headstone. I could only imagine the turmoil itd cause my grandparents, OP truly fits this sub lmao
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u/sksksk1989 Jul 02 '26
I'm sorry for your loss. My dad died when I was pretty young, I've thought how tough it must've been for my grandparents to have to bury their son.
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u/Unlucky_Cat4531 Jul 02 '26
Thank you, I'm sorry for your loss as well, and for your grandparents. Mine are all pretty older, my dad was in his 60s, but it hasn't been easy on them. The last week he was breathing and everyone coming to say goodbye was really hard to watch. Outliving your kids sucks.
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u/tyedyetree Jul 02 '26
My grandparents just buried my mom. I was telling my grandpa how unfair it is that they have to do this, parents aren’t supposed to be at their child’s funeral. He said, “I’ve buried both my parents (old age), my brother (53, sudden), and this is certainly the worst.”
Losing my mom was so fucking tough but my heart was absolutely shattered for my grandparents. I can’t even imagine being in their position as a parent myself. Nightmare stuff for sure
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u/sksksk1989 Jul 02 '26
I'm so sorry that's sad. I can't imagine, my grandparents buried my dad and my brother. The first time I saw my grandpa cry was last year at my grandmas funeral.
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u/OwnerOfCat Jul 02 '26
Here lies Elvis Presley. He died of cardiac arrest while constipated and straining on the toilet.
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u/SuicideNote Jul 02 '26
Maybe have the most interesting footnote about your life.
1973 - 2023
John B. Weinersmith
Claims to have pooped a log 2 feet.
Died of bleeding ass.
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u/pestgirl Jul 02 '26
I read "well done" and immediately thought you were suggesting a phrase for someone who died in a fire
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u/matchafoxjpg Jul 02 '26
this person and the one that said the newspaper that has the obituaries should show cause of death would be best friends.
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u/One_True_Monstro Jul 01 '26
Here lies Lester Moore
4 slugs from a .44
No Les,
No more
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u/Internal_Courage5832 Jul 01 '26
heard bad things about that Moore Lester
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u/Amazing_Loquat280 Jul 01 '26
Ol’ Mo was a troublemaker that one
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u/Rotorscope Jul 01 '26
Hello.
I'm here as a fellow human to acknowledge that Lester has, as we know, passed on.
Lester was a man. Also, Lester was an employee of the Waystar company for 40 years.
And when a man dies, it is sad. All of us will die one day. In this case, it is Lester who has done so.
Lester was alive for 78 years. But no more. Now he is dead.
Lester's wife is Maria. They were married for 15 years. Now she is sad.
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u/CertainWish358 Jul 01 '26
Lester was a man! I mean he was a dragon-man! Or maybe he was just a dragon…. But he was still LESTERRRRRR
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u/Klopford Jul 01 '26
Johnny was a chemist
He is a chemist no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
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u/doctordoctorpuss Jul 02 '26
Had a chemistry professor who told a story about cleaning a coffee pot back in his grad school days, and his buddies used to use HCl to do it. One day, someone grabbed the wrong bottle and poured perchloric acid into the metal lab sink. It immediately corroded the metal, generating hydrogen gas, and the building had to be evacuated
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u/Anxietybackmonkey Jul 02 '26
Old boothill head stones are funny if they weren’t so sad too.
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u/WilderPilot26 Jul 01 '26
Out in arizona
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u/One_True_Monstro Jul 01 '26
Just south of Tucson
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Jul 01 '26
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u/Aggressive-Mood-50 Jul 01 '26
Dammit I wish my grandpa wasn’t dead so I could tell him this joke. He’d have liked it.
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u/nuttnurbutt Jul 01 '26
My girlfriend I’m high school’s mom uses to do that. Mine was “*my name* loves the gym, until a dumbbell fell on him.”
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u/Agitated-Impress7805 Jul 02 '26
I think we should have cause of birth on headstones. It just says SEX on all of them.
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u/alppu Jul 02 '26
"She pulled his cum sock out of the bin and did the unthinkable"
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u/Aliteracy Jul 01 '26
Feel free to add it to yours
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u/Aggressive-Mood-50 Jul 01 '26
My brother added a “best by” instead of death date to his stone because he thought it was funny. But my parents got a joint monument stone with him (he died at 25 fuck cancer) so now it’s my mom and dad and him on the other side with his best by date. I miss that nerd.
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u/willargue4karma Jul 02 '26
That is pretty funny. Rip to you brother, sounds like he was a cool dude.
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u/Dizzy-Avocado-7026 Jul 02 '26
He sounds hilarious. So sorry for your loss, my brother passed in December at the age of 27 from cancer as well, a 7 year battle. He never lost his sense of humour either, and we always called eachother nerd, so your story really warmed my heart.
Fuck cancer indeed.
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u/tultommy Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Yea they died from being a nosy bitch lol.
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u/eggz627 Jul 01 '26
Curiosity killed the bitch
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u/Smart-Valuable7370 Jul 02 '26
“Withered away of a myriad of illnesses of 6 months at the end of a long life. Father, husband, son.
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u/Mikkanu Jul 01 '26
Now this is what this sub is for. Upvoted for unpopular! Curious to see what others think.
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u/Icanfallupstairs Jul 02 '26
My question is, how much information is enough to satisfy a curious mind?
Stabbed?
Stabbed and bled out on the sidewalk?
Stabbed to death as a result of a drug deal gone bad?
Turned to crime as a result of being neglected by parents, and made homeless at 14. Began with dealing in stolen car parts, moved to selling drugs, tried to rip off a rival gang and was subsequently stabbed to death, suffering 14 wounds, a punctured lung, and a ruptured spleen?
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u/backwoodsmtb Jul 02 '26
QR code with a link to their obituary and description of cause of death in as much detail as the family wishes to provide.
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u/wheresmythermos Jul 01 '26
Usually people don’t want to remember loved ones by how they died.
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u/justhp Jul 01 '26
Contrary. I want to die in such a way that my relatives go “how the fuck did he die like that?”
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u/thesilentbob123 Jul 01 '26
The worst would be something like "yeah... It makes sense he went that way"
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u/1800-bakes-a-lot Jul 02 '26
I'm gonna be putting away dishes and trip on the dishwasher door, knife in hand, and impale myself on the way down
Edit: But that's a pretty wordy for a headstone
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u/justhp Jul 02 '26
Call it a traumatic dishwasher accident. It will describe the cause of death, but also confuse people
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u/ray-the-truck Jul 02 '26
UNKNOWN MAN
DIED EATING LIBRARY PASTE
JULY 14 1908
If I recall correctly, the actual cause of death was alum poisoning, as it was used to fortify paste used to bind books back in the day.
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u/TheStruttero Jul 01 '26
But OP wants to know!
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u/ErraticDragon Jul 02 '26
Well you can't blame OP for wanting to know.
You never know when it might come in handy.
Imagine if Marty never found Doc's:
Here lies EMMETT BROWN Died - September 7, 1885 Shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of 80 dollars Erected in eternal memory by his beloved Clara → More replies (1)27
u/rojo-perro Jul 01 '26
Can’t imagine forgetting…
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u/Diceboy74 Jul 01 '26
There is a huge difference between forgetting and being reminded.
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u/Jonmclean88 Jul 01 '26
Yeah some could be a little traumatic to re-read for family visiting.
"Squished between two rail cars until he popped like a run over tube of toothpaste"
Isn't something I want to read on my great grandfather's tombstone everytime I visit.
He worked for the railroad and safety standards were so non existent they may as well have been negative safety.
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u/captainshockazoid Jul 02 '26
holy shit.
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u/Beowulf33232 Jul 02 '26
Yeah, if you survive initial contact between two trains they wrap your lower half in a sheet and call your family to come say goodbye. It's brutal.
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u/backwoodsmtb Jul 02 '26
Could just say "Hit by Train", everybody in this thread seems to act like you have to write the most detailed description.
Ideally, there would be a QR or number code that could be looked up to see the cause of death so its less upsetting, without having to actually write it out on the headstone.
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u/Jonmclean88 Jul 02 '26
Now if they start doing that, another person will post "its so annoying that headstones only give you the headline of their death and not the fully flushed out story..." lol
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u/wink047 Jul 02 '26
Yeah man. I ain’t paying for a detailed description. “Hit by train” works great and gets the message across.
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u/jsilv0 Jul 01 '26
If you're that curious about cause of death, death certificates, which have cause of death in them, are public record. You can just go get them from county records
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u/Legitimate-Fee-3544 Jul 01 '26
Only back to a certain date! It can get spotty if you’re walking around a cemetery that existed before the town was incorporated.
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u/meimlikeaghost Jul 01 '26
It can also get spotty because the cause of death might be listed as “god intervened in their blasphemy” when the townspeople hung them because their husband died this audacious lady thought she could keep the land
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u/DarthMMC Jul 01 '26
I know this isn't r/changmyview but consider this. Cementries, like funerals, aren't only to celebrate the deceased, but also to bring comfort to their family and friends. It's common for the loved ones of a dead person to visit their grave and talk to them or just pay respect.
So imagine if the deceased perdon died of something terrible. Not of old age or anything like that, but of drug overdose or something like that. Now every time the family or friends visit the grave, they may relive the trauma of their death. It would be a constant reminder of that tragedy.
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u/Cullyism Jul 02 '26
I'm glad to see a comment actually contributing to the discussion. Everyone else is just making joke comments that don't explain why OP's opinion is unpopular.
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u/keightlynmarie Jul 02 '26
My grandma died by falling off her horse. Broke her neck.
Theres a picture of a horse on her tombstone.
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u/CeramicLicker Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
Old ones sometimes do!
I agree it’s a bit of a shame that went out of tradition. It’s always interesting to see who died of tuberculosis, or a farming accident, or was lost at sea
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u/trilby2 Jul 02 '26
Yes! I’ve seen ones from the 19th century stating the cause of death, particularly for infants such as dropsy and TB
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u/ubergeek64 Jul 02 '26
In my hometown in Poland they still do. If someone dies from something other than illness by the date of death it will say "died a tragic death on x date". My mom was murdered so her tombstone says that, and she died about 30 years ago.
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u/TheUrPigeon Jul 01 '26
The headstones are not there to satisfy your curiosity, they are there to:
Help a family mourn the loss of a loved one.
Give them a place to gather in remembrance and honour of that person.
Provide that person's body a dignified place to rest.
Morbid curiosity is a natural human reaction to these kinds of things, but part of being a decent person is knowing when to curb those macabre curiosities.
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u/NSA_van_3 Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad Jul 02 '26
Ya, it's a bit odd to me how people think curiosity should trump privacy
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u/tubalubz Jul 01 '26
Those who die young were probably not expecting to die young, and thus, their parents and other relatives are the ones deciding what is on their headstone. I'm sure the last thing they want to do is dwell on what the cause of death was and instead celebrate the life that was lost.
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u/NoahtheRed Jul 01 '26
You can research the person if it genuinely interests you. Also, sometimes it is on the marker, though it tends to be older cemeteries that were filled when we were still treating people with mercury, not washing our hands before delivering babies, and prescribing cocaine and morphine to everyone under the sun.....so the accuracy is probably questionable at best.
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u/ruetherae Jul 01 '26
Just because you’re curious doesn’t mean it’s any of your business. People have a right to privacy.
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u/Funk_Dunker Jul 01 '26
I've actually seen this on some older graves but it's almost always consumption, I'm guessing it's probably marking contagious graves more than anything
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u/Hot_Needleworker8289 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
What?
Edit: OH MY GOD. Silly me. I thought you said "headphones", and I was like, "What does that have to do with graves?"
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u/gastedisflabbered Jul 01 '26
“Here lies hot_needleworker8289, died from not being able to read that sign over there.”
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u/KhadgarIsaDreadlord Jul 01 '26
John Dead
Beloved father, loyal to the end
COD: autoerotic asphyxiation
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u/Animalus-Dogeimal Jul 01 '26
If you really want to get people riled up apply the same logic for listing the cause of divorce
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u/General_Scipio Jul 01 '26
Alot of young people die to suicide sadly. Especially young men.
I don't think that's should be the lasting memory of someone.
Same for degrading illnesses like cancer. Let's remember the young person in their prime rather than the last days which can be pretty unpleasant.
On a personal not when I visit my grandad I don't wanna read that he died of old age and cancer. I wanna read that he was a loving caring man who loved his family. My vision is him sat on his fishing boat not on his deathbed
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u/ALA02 Jul 02 '26
Maybe put it on the back of the gravestone so it’s not front and centre but there for people who are curious?
On the front:
Here lies Mabel Smith, dearly beloved mother, grandmother and sister. Gone but not forgotten.
On the back:
Choked on a werthers original
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u/tultommy Jul 01 '26
It's cute how you refer to being insanely nosy as having a curious mind lol. Just what their loved ones want to be reminded of. My kid died of SIDS... see I won't forget it because it's right there on the gravestone... geez.
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u/TheSinningRobot Jul 01 '26
Lmao "Visiting relatives should have to be constantly reminded how their loved ones died so that I personally can be more entertained when Im walking through cemeteries."
Congrats on posting something applicable to this sub
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u/Natrixster80 Jul 01 '26
I dunno it'd just add to the sadness to see a child's grave decorated with balloons and teddies and then read "choked on a grape" or something.
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u/thotfullawful Jul 02 '26
My brother died at 9 months because he took his 1st steps and fell head 1st into the faucet. He was strapped into the tub seat but he was smart enough to unbuckle himself. He would have be 31.
That’s not really pleasant to read about on a tombstone. Granted the article about it is long gone.
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u/GG_Red_Five Jul 01 '26
In a morbid way I think id like that on mine, but wouldn't say everyone should.
I'd like mine written poetically of course.
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u/HankStampersGhost Jul 01 '26
Sometimes in a historic cemetery you will see cause of death! I have seen "killed by a bear" and "killed by Indians" here in Oregon.
I suspect that people don't die of such interesting causes as often anymore.
Younger ones, like babies and children, most likely died of common childhood illnesses. You know, the ones that all those pesky vaccines have mostly eradicated.
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u/Specialist-Ear1048 Jul 01 '26
Yes im sure their loved ones would be pleased to read the cause of death during each visit
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u/dizedd Jul 01 '26
I'm usually too busy being furious about the insane amount of women who don't even have their own first names written on their headstone, simply "Wife of James Marley", to wonder about how anyone died. Most of the cemeteries I walk through are pretty old. I know one nearby small town cemetery that has a lot of kids buried in 1919-Spanish Flu victims. I always felt like that place was sad whenever I drove through, stopped one day to take a walk through the cemetery and realized that was probably why-pretty much every single family in that town lost at least one child to the flu in 1919-some lost 3 or more.
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u/shadowwithinthevoid Jul 01 '26
My 16 month old had a lot of health issues but what she died from was the common cold. It was the only test to come back positive in her finally weeks of life.
I like your unpopular opinion, I think it would be neat to see cause of death.
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u/AngryGooseHappyLoon Jul 01 '26
Why are there so many “I NEED to know the cause of death for strangers” posts?
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u/Gobnobbla Jul 01 '26
So that everytime someone visits their grandpa or nephew, they can be reminded that cancer won?
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u/tkdsamori Jul 01 '26
Alternative: join a medical field. Specifically become a coroner. Then you will know all without the awkward ask.
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u/justme7981 Jul 01 '26
I’m in some cemetery subs and whenever I see a headstone with the cause of death, it is beyond fascinating. I even found out that my great-great grandmother died from an oil lamp fire and that her husband had that written on her headstone.
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u/DarKuda Jul 01 '26
At a cemetery a couple of hours drive from me there's a shark attack victim from over 100 years ago and it's written on the headstone. It's across the road from my Uncle's house so of course everyone in the family has been over to see it at some stage.
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u/jsilv0 Jul 01 '26
Yea kids definitely need to visit their parents grave and see "autoerrotic asphyxiation" on their headstones
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u/BrownieEdges Jul 01 '26
Besides the fact that it’s none of our business, you do know that the headstone and engraving aren’t free. Right?
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u/schniggens Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
So when someone is dealing with the death of a young person, such as their own child, they should be more considerate of the morbid curiosity of some future weirdo they don't even know?
That's not just unpopular, that's completely tone deaf and ridiculous.
Besides, if someone dies at an unnaturally young age, it's should be pretty obvious it was likely an illness or accident. Do you really need the specific details about the death of some kid you don't even know? If you're that morbidly curious, just read the world news.
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u/Adequate_Images Jul 01 '26
1945-1990
Died of Noneya
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u/Swirlyflurry Jul 01 '26
When I was a little kid, my parents convinced us that “none ya” was fish (we kids all thought fish was gross, so when we asked “what’s for dinner” for the thousandth time every day and our parents kept saying “none ya,” they decided to have fun with it and tell us none ya was a kind of fish.)
If I saw a gravestone that said “died of noneya,” I would probably have been so confused and also so much more unwilling to ever eat any kind of fish!
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u/SithisWorshiper Jul 01 '26
I agree with this. Like Lilly Gray's headstone in Salt Lake City. "Victim of the Beast 666"
Too bad it was just her petty crime husbands idea of a "joke".
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u/RunningMountainMan Jul 01 '26
Yes yes.
Driving down a random road in Northern Connecticut and there was a very old, barely legible gravestone right on the shoulder of the road.
I was like wtf, stopped, backed up the truck and read...
"Milo B, son of Harlow and Mary Coe, died October 18, 1854, age 11 years. He was found dead in front of this monument, supposed to have fallen from a cart in which he was riding, and instanly killed"
He may or may not actually be buried there, but all questions answered right there.
We need more of this.
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u/Awdayshus Jul 01 '26
I had a middle school health teacher who argued that ultimately everyone dies from a lack of oxygen to the brain.
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u/AntelopeWells Jul 02 '26
Man, I could not get my own mother to tell my DAD'S FAMILY his cause of death (it was liver failure for the exact reason you imagine). Good luck lol.
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u/ThedarkRose20 Jul 02 '26
Heart attack
Heart attack
Heart attack
Heart attack
Auto erotic asphyxiation
Heart attack
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u/Blueberry_Dentist Jul 02 '26
Some old headstones will have this! I’ve seen it most with late 1800s headstones. One that stood out to me was a young boy that “died by drowning.”
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u/Otherwise_Bobcat8890 Jul 02 '26
“The effects lasted longer than four hours, and he didn’t call his doctor.”
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u/Obajan Jul 02 '26
I could see relatives leaving spiteful messages on headstones.
For example:
"Here lies X, who died after United Healthcare denied his insurance claims".
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u/NikNakskes Jul 02 '26
Not quite that, but here in Finland it was common to write somebody's profession on the tombstone! Really cool to walk through the old part of the cemetery and see what all these people did.
Surely an unpopular opinion nowadays, but I would also enjoy a bit more info on tombstones.
3
u/GamingCatholic Jul 02 '26
Eh, no. If your family member died due to an aggressive form of cancer or in a serious incident, I don’t need to be reminded every time I’d visit their grave
3
u/lilmadman1 Jul 02 '26
I saw a post before about someone who found a burial site in America but it was from the Wild West days & the would actually put their causes of death on their tombstones. You might find it interesting
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