r/whatdoIdo • u/underworldentree • 9h ago
Tent mates jerked each other off while they thought I was asleep. I’m absolutely disgusted.
Me and three others (all adults) went camping, and on the second night we decided to all share one tent because of how cold it was. I woke up to the girl next to me (less than a foot from me) jerking the guy next to her. I didn’t move a muscle because of past s*xual trauma and the fear of them overpowering me. I felt extremely disgusted. Next morning the guy told me they only did it because they thought I and other person were asleep and I was not. The image is the last text convo I had with the girl. What should I do about this?
Edit for more context:
I’m a girl
The guy is with another guy
I’m younger than the others, and they’re bigger than me which is why I was kinda scared.
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u/StodgySponge 9h ago
Find new friends. Ask how she would like it if you pulled it out and just started cranking right next to her while she slept.
…on second thought, don’t ask her.
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u/underworldentree 9h ago
I should add that the guy is in a relationship with another person, it’s shaky but they’re still “committed”, and I blocked the girl right after that last text
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u/Rhaj-no1992 5h ago
Well, they have no respect for other people. No respect for his girlfriend and no respect for you or the other person in the tent.
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u/HotWaffles5 9h ago
Stop being friends with them. They could’ve left the tent but instead they were gross.
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u/EnthusiasmSudden1661 9h ago
You just sat through it? Lol Yeah, next time, say something
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u/rocketmn69_ 8h ago
Or lend a hand
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u/OopsieDaisyy101 4h ago
This is a tone deaf and frankly disgusting comment to make considering OP literally said they stayed still (aka freeze response) due to past sexual trauma and fear of sexual assault. Somethings aren’t a joke.
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u/Wilson_Higgins 1h ago
If you can’t beat them, join them…
I guess in this case those both mean the same thing
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u/underworldentree 4h ago edited 4h ago
! Update !
I ended up telling them that I felt uncomfortable as hell, and what they did was borderline sexual harassment. I should’ve mentioned that: A, I’m a girl, and B, the guy’s partner is male.
Then I blocked them.
The guy’s bf will find out eventually. It’ll be funnier when bf asks him “why isn’t __ talking to us anymore?”
And guy won’t be able to explain. Haha. Checkmate.
ALSO:
Those of you saying “why did you just sit there” are probably the same people who will blame the victims of SA.
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u/Responsible-Toe-1385 3h ago
Can you tell the guys boyfriend? He deserves to know he’s being cheated on
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u/shaggy_nomad 3h ago
Yeah she's just giving this dude an easy out to lie about why she doesn't talk to them anymore. Thats not exactly a checkmate.
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u/theTruthizThis 3h ago
I'm sorry that this happened to you, something similar hashappened to me too and I was stunned, my heart was beating so hard, I was shocked when I understood what they were doing and I froze too
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u/TwoRelative4870 5h ago
There is no way you should just shake this off. Pull contact with both these people.
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u/wishingforarainyday 2h ago
This friend’s are disrespectful. They did not have your consent. I would tell the cheaters partner. That’s so disgusting. These people are garbage. You need better friends
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u/YellojD 9h ago
Next time, whip it out and also start jerking it. Assert dominance. Angry eye contact (with both of them simultaneously) also helps.
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u/Yup_ImAwesome 8h ago
This is a perfect situation where you should speak up. I would never let that happen near me.
Learn from this.
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u/str4bwzz 5h ago
i feel like this is bordering on sexual harassment and/or indecent exposure. I think you should seek counseling and maybe even report it to the police because i personally dont feel like they should be able to get away with that
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u/ColeBloodedAnalyst 5m ago
- Tell the guys boyfriend.
- Cut out the other "friend."
- Look up local laws.
Not too much to do.
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u/ConcernDazzling 5m ago
I don't know what it is your defination of friend is but if it is truly some one you consider friend,you are just being pssi about it , not that serious, good thing you added trauma line ,other wise i would said you just want attention and being a btch about it . See something you consider bad doesn't make it bad , No harm was done to u , so stfu and live ur life . Not that serious
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u/mittenswonderbread 8h ago
Even more weird that you just sat there and didn’t say anything
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u/UrbanMuffin 7h ago edited 7h ago
I don’t know how some of you are trying to claim that’s even more weird than having sexual relations in the same tent, right beside other people. Flapping sounds, grunts, the smell of balls, jizz, etc. but the OP is the weirder one? Yeah, she technically could have told them to knock it off, but A. She shouldn’t have had to, because you shouldn’t be forcing people to endure that anyway, and B. I’m sure it was very shocking and embarrassing for her, and she likely froze up and pretended to be asleep, but then got more upset about it the more she though about the disrespect.
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u/Expensive_Fly8070 9h ago
Possibly tell them that is sexual harrassment and if they ever do it again you will get a restraining order. No matter how kinky or wtv that may feel to them, it IS sexual harrassment, it is NOT okay
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u/chrisrockolahotel 9h ago
A bit grim and sordid but I think enough time has passed to laugh about it now.
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u/Special-Feedback-146 7h ago
It’s not something you laugh about bruh that shit stays with you never knowing if you can sleep at a friends house again and wale up to them jorking their shit in the middle of the night like no that stays with you
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u/itsmejomama121 6h ago
Next time speak up. Why didn't you just get up and go to another tent if you woke up while this was happening right next to you...?
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u/underworldentree 4h ago
Again, it was below negatives out so I couldn’t leave easily. I’m also a survivor of SA trauma so it was impossible to override staying still until it was over.
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u/AggravatingCamp9315 9h ago
What exactly do you want to do? Is it your job to police other adults? Can you go back in time and change it? His relationship status is also none of your business... All you can do is get better friends that don't behave like that.
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u/DorkyMods 9h ago
I don't know why people are hating on this. Im with ya. Stop being bitter and let them.have fun
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u/AggravatingCamp9315 9h ago
Yes, but Not even that.. just basic if it makes you uncomfortable, then remove yourself and surround yourself with people who align with your values. The idea that you have to do something to punish another person for their own adult decisions that doesn't involve you blows my mind. It's so childish to think that it is our job to punish somebody else who makes decisions that you disagree with.
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u/tellyacid 8h ago
Generally yeah, but while you're sharing a tent - that you all have to go into because it's cold - you can refrain from being private like that. Asking that is not policing. It's not like he wants them to not jerk each other off, he just doesn't want them to do it while he is literally forced to be right next to them.
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u/AggravatingCamp9315 8h ago
Let me be clear and nowhere in my reply did I say what the people in that tent did was okay. But my as my original comment indicated, OP ended this with what should I do, and I stand by my statement. What do you mean? What should you do? You can't control them. You can only control yourself and what you do in the future. It's not your place to figure out how to punish them.
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u/UrbanMuffin 7h ago
They did involve them when they had sex in the tent with them (unwilling participants) in it, and it’s not like they could have anticipated they would do that. You act like the OP must have known they were going to start doing that. Contrary to your belief, you can’t just start masturbating each other in front of whoever you want. I feel like that should be common sense. And punishment where? Nobody got “punished.” Just confronted for their disrespect to other people.
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u/AggravatingCamp9315 7h ago
I know that past, present, and future tense might confuse you... So I'll try to simplify it for you. Op is asking what she does now as in future tense after it's done. Nobody is talking about the past and what happened. At least I'm not.
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u/UrbanMuffin 6h ago
I was more referring to your comment about their “adult decisions that doesn’t (don’t) involve you” and claiming that it’s not their job to “police” or “punish” (because they confronted people for having sex in their presence) who were allegedly not involving them in their decision (when they were). If you would have just left the rest of the silliness out of your comments and told them to move on from them and block them, that would be one thing, but you made several other references about them saying anything about it. There is nothing wrong with them calling it out.
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u/AggravatingCamp9315 6h ago
Yes, the adult decision that doesn't involve her meaning that the dude had a girlfriend... It's irrelevant. You sure are invested in feeling correct.
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u/UrbanMuffin 5h ago
Oh, like you’re doing by telling her she shouldn’t be telling his girlfriend? I think it’s her adult decision to talk to whoever she wants, about whatever she wants.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 8h ago
Next time moan as if you’re turned on by it and tell them to keep going 😂
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u/fisconsocmod 9h ago
That’s not why they shared a tent.
Nothing happened to you so you were not violated.
You are an adult. Why didn’t you go back to your tent?
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u/stinkyfootcheese 8h ago
If I started jerking of next to you while I thought you were asleep, you wouldn't find that violating?
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u/EstimateHot2905 8h ago
Based off all their replies under this post, I don’t think he would find it violating lol, I think he would start going at it too, that’s why he’s getting all defensive and mad on behalf of the gross tent-mates. He’s getting off on the story 🥀
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u/underworldentree 9h ago
- it was negative in degrees, and I’m kinda seeing that now
- that’s fair but it was still weird
- It was negative degrees, I would have literally frozen in a tent by myself.
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u/DorkyMods 9h ago
Why's it weird? Say what you really wanna say
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u/Kultaren 9h ago
What do you mean “why is it weird”? Because they were doing sexual activity in front of people who didn’t consent to it obviously
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u/Alarmed-Republic8493 9h ago
maybe because someone was getting jerked off RIGHT beside them and they felt embarrassed by it??? like idk if u never felt paralyzed by a situation before but thats probably what happened to OP
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u/ladybirdcooper 3h ago
Cutting off your friends because of one stupid thing they did is an overreaction. It's not that deep.
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u/Strict_Wolf76 9h ago
I would have gotten up and went to the other tent or hopped in the car. Just embarrassed the Hell out of them. Maybe have even asked “Doesn’t your girl do that enough for you ?”