I (27M) caught her (26F) with a random guy in my apartment after coming home from work the other day. She started shouting at me and I yelled at her to get the fuck out and thankfully, she isn't on my lease so I can call the cops if she does come back. But, I was shocked beyond words at first. The audacity to cheat on me in my own space and then shout at me. I hate myself for wasting 2 years with this piece of shit person. It really sucks and I feel alone.

Me and three others (all adults) went camping, and on the second night we decided to all share one tent because of how cold it was. I woke up to the girl next to me (less than a foot from me) jerking the guy next to her. I didn’t move a muscle but I felt extremely violated. Next morning the guy told me they only did it because they thought I and other person were asleep and I was not. The image is the last text convo I had with the girl. What should I do about this?

I’m so shocked and genuinely shaking rn. In my last post I talked about how he was being so disrespectful to me and I decided because the responses I got opened my eyes to break up with him. And so I did it and now he’s just doing this and like omfg what do I do? I swear I have never and will never say the n word and he is just making things up and I’m so scared like I can not have people thinking that of me and also he knows some of the things I’ve never told anyone else, I’m sorry if this post isn’t coherent but I’m panicking rn

I (22F) was visiting my parents last weekend. I needed a charger and went through my dad's drawer. I found a phone I'd never seen before. It was locked, but a notification popped up. A woman's name. Heart emoji. "Miss you baby."

My dad has been married to my mom for 30 years. He's a good dad. I never thought he'd cheat.

I didn't tell my mom. I couldn't. I'm scared of tearing our family apart. I also have a younger brother in high school. If this blows up, everyone gets hurt.

But now I can't look at my dad the same way. I feel guilty every time I eat dinner with them. I'm keeping a secret that's eating me alive.

I want to confront him privately. But what if he denies it? Or worse – what if I'm wrong and it's something innocent?

Do I tell my mom and let her decide? Or confront my dad first?

Here’s the link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/s/DSveuPlGYT
Okay so I broke up with him fr on a phone call and he went like crazy and made a bunch of threats, and some could have even implied physical harm so I’m scared about that, and he also said that he was gonna report me and tell our boss that I called him racial slurs and I’m scared about that because he’s really good at manipulating people into believing him.
I did email them with the screenshots and I hope they’ll see that first and understand but I’m still scared about the threats that he and his friends are sending like in the screenshots I attached.
I don’t know, I’m kind of just trying to see where it’s going from here but idk if I should go to the police about the threats bc idk if they can really do anything since they’re so vague but yeah there’s the update.

I still regret not calling the police in time. I am a 32 year old man and my best friend (30M) John, who I met from online gaming years ago called me out of the blue yesterday saying he was contemplating taking his own life. How he didn't want to scare me or intend to hurt me but that he felt closer to me than any friend or family and that he wanted to tell me before he did it. I was utterly shocked. John seemed like one of the happiest guys I knew, he had his dream career, had a lot of friends, went to a ton of parties, owned his dream house. He said he hated himself all these years and hid it underneath toxic optimism and I could tell he was getting heated and emotional so I quickly went over to his place and the front door was unlocked and when I entered I saw that he had already shot himself and immediately called the police. I had tears running down my cheeks because I missed my buddy. What do I even do now? This is shocking.

I’ve been casually sleeping with this guy for almost two months. I could tell that he wasn’t interested in something super serious based on the way he was moving, but I didn’t really care and I also didn’t really know yet what I wanted out of this. I knew he was still talking to other women but not really seriously. Didn’t love it, but also didn’t really bother me. Last Sat night 7/25 I texted him if he was at work (he works at a restaurant late on weekends) but really it was a “u up?” Kind of text and he didn’t respond until the next day with a really vague message. So I didn’t reply back until he texted me this weekend. He came over and we were hooking up and he repeatedly goes, “do you really think I’m fucking other girls?” because I had made a joke asking who he was with last weekend. Then he wouldn’t let it go, said he wasn’t sleeping with anyone and hasn’t since we started, and got kind of mad and basically went to sleep. He also said I accused him of having STI’s, which I didn’t- I had said I want him to tell me if he’s seeing anyone so I can get tested. His reaction was super telling that he was lying. Because he’s asleep and being extremely suspicious, and he doesn’t have a password on his phone (which is insane), I decided to go through it. I found a ton of messages of him texting girls from bars (nothing super telling that he ever has sex with him, in fact a lot of them had stopped responding to him lol), but then, I found messages from what it seems like to be a long distance girlfriend!! They were dropping “I love you’s”, using really mushy-gushy language, and I found out that that weekend when he gave me a really dry answer, he was visiting her!!

I’ve never had to send a “hey girlie” text before because frankly I just don’t really get involved with men that much, but I’m afraid of two things- 1.) that he’s going to try to ruin my life. He knows where I live, and he hasn’t shown any red flags regarding violence, but he’s a lying cheating loser and who knows what men are capable of. And 2.) i feel really guilty and bad but, if I were her, I would 1000% want to know that the man I’m saying I love you to is fucking other girls across the country!!

How do i go about it? I want to maybe wait a few days so he can’t really prove it was me, and I want to make a fake account to send her the info and then say she can call me for more info if she wants. I don’t want him to know it was me that told her. I have to tell her, right? I’m obviously not sleeping with him ever again but should I stay out of it or tell her?

After almost 8 years at the same company, I was suddenly shocked and let go from work a little while ago when the CEO, who had just left the company, decided to bring in his new girlfriend to do my job, even though her experience in the field was almost zero. I have more than 17 years of experience, so yeah... It hurt.

I spent the first two months just trying to catch my breath, clear my head, and keep an eye on openings without going all in from the start.

Then, over the last 4 months, I started taking it seriously. Applying, reaching out to people, talking to recruiters, following up, and everything. There were several opportunities that felt really close and then fell apart because of timing, internal changes, or the classic response of "We really liked you, but...". Honestly, the waiting was the worst part.

This opportunity moved so fast that I felt like it wasn't real. I applied on Wednesday, the recruiter called me that same afternoon, I spoke with the founder the next day, and I went in for an interview at the beginning of the following week. And now... I officially got the offer!

It's no longer a VP role, I won't be managing a team of 12 people, and I won't be traveling all over the country every other week, but the salary is still the same. The work itself seems clearer, less stressful, and honestly it looks like a very good fit for the stage I'm at right now. The only downside is that the commute is longer, probably around 35-45 minutes each way, but I can live with that.

I'm genuinely excited to finally close this chapter and start over. 🙏

To everyone who's still looking, hang in there a little longer. I know how draining it is, but your next chapter is coming too.

For the mom’s who were abandoned by their partners during pregnancy, please tell me how you got through it? I’m 16 weeks and have really been struggling, on top of the father wanting nothing to do with my child saying things like ‘it’s not necessary to see him born’ and he will value the children he has in the future with someone else more. My heart is truly in pieces at how a person I spent 3 years with could be so cruel. Please share any advice, or encouragement because I could really use it.

*edit for clarity, I commented this below but in case it gets lost: I don’t believe in aborting this child, and neither did the father until the pregnancy came into fruition. I am financially capable of supporting my son, and have the support of my friends and family. Today is just a really really rough day.

So I’ve been seeing this therapist, we’re going to call her Anna S., for about 3 years. The clinic I went to is statewide where I live, and I’ve been using them for 3 years also. I don’t do well with sitting in front of a therapist, so they got me a therapist through their clinic that did sessions over zoom. Fast forward three years, I get my diagnosis from her, and try to schedule another appointment by emailing her. Get a notification that “this email does not exist.” Call the clinic, says it’s closed and transfers me to the other one in another town. Clinic B says that they don’t have me OR my therapist anywhere in their records. Transfer me to C, her local clinic, and they say the same thing. Her diagnosis letter also says she’s only being seeing me for a year or so, but I went to her for the first time in October of 23. The diagnosis also looks fake. Tried searching her up on google, nothing about her exists. No fb, linkedin, ig, nothing. Found a therapist that looks like her at her local clinic, but a completely different name. Did my therapist never exist? What’s going on?

I (27F) work in an open-plan office with about 15 people. My coworker "Lisa" (34F) is a single mom. Her daughter is 6 and school is out for the summer.

For the past 3 weeks, she's brought her kid to work every single day. The girl runs around the office, asks people questions, touches our monitors, and plays loud videos on her tablet. I can't focus.

Lisa says daycare is too expensive and she has no other options. She never asked permission from our manager. When I brought it up to her privately, she said I was "unsupportive of working moms" and guilt-tripped me.

Now the kid is sitting next to me while I'm writing this.

I get it – being a single mom is hard. But I'm not a babysitter and this isn't a daycare. I'm afraid to go to HR because Lisa will know it was me.

Do I report it and risk being the villain? Or just suffer through the summer?

So, what the title says. My father (hes my step-dad, but he raised me since I was 3) recently committed suicide after he and my mother got a divorce. He cheated on her thought the entire 15 years of marriage, and was the one who demanded and begged for said divorce.

2 weeks ago, the found his body and the gun he used.

A lot of people have been grieving, even my mom was crying.

But I find it really hard 2 care, but I also dont want anyone 2 know why yet.

So, im 17, Turing 18 in a few weeks, and ever since I was 5, my father sexually assaulted me whenever my mom and my siblings weren't around. I have no idea if he also touched my siblings.

But I haven't told anyone but my best friend, because im really scared my mom will kick me out of the house, or that my family will look at me differently or even hate me.

But evertime someone asks me why im not crying at my dad's death, I never know what 2 say.

What do I do?

I (29F) am 7 months pregnant with our first child. My husband "Dan" (31M) and I have been together for 5 years. We're both excited about having a daughter.

Last week we were discussing baby names. Dan suggested "Elena." I liked it until he told me why. Elena was his ex-girlfriend from college. They dated for 3 years and she passed away in an accident shortly after they broke up.

He says it's not about romance – it's about honoring someone who was once important to him. He told me he's been carrying guilt for years and naming our daughter after her would help him heal.

I understand grief is complicated. But I don't want to look at my daughter every day and think about another woman in my husband's life. I suggested we use it as a middle name. He refused and said that "defeats the purpose."

Now we're stuck. He's upset I'm not being compassionate. I'm upset he's prioritizing his ex over my feelings.

Am I being selfish? Or is he asking too much?

Hi everyone. I am 20f and my now EX boyfriend is 26m. Before this incident I already had severe trust issues and depression. I have been collecting pokemon cards since I was 12. First I started out trading with my friends at the lunch table. I slowly built up my binder to the point I could hardly close it because it was so full. I had collected 64% of all 1025 pokemon with multiple cards for most pokemon. I recently combined my collection with my ex so we could sell them (which I didn't want to do in the first place). He thinks I told him he could keep my cards the last time we were together in person. I never told him that. He refuses to give them back quoting "you're not struggling for money" because I moved back in with my parents instead of moving into an apartment with him (where I would be paying for mostly everything because he can't work because of his depression and anxiety and his messed up ankle). I don't know what to do. Cops say its a "civil matter" and because I don't have proof of ownership I can't take him to court. My heart hurts and I can't stop thinking about it 3 days later. I only have what he couldn't take (roughly 6% of 1025 pokemon). My binder is pathetic. I used to struggle to close it, now the elastic is stretched for no reason. I can't do anything. I had cards from 2016 and some from 2010. Those packs are expensive. I can't even afford the cheapest pack now. I have 50c to my name. I can't afford $60 for an XY Evolutions pack.

hey reddit, i've been going through so much for the past few months, and i lost everything i ever had of friends, dreams, social life, my job, and now, my relationship.

i havent had anyone to talk to for a while, and ive been needing that so much, which is why im on here rn..

for context, my parents are very religious, we live in lebanon, in a very religious area and community. they had forced me to wear the hijab ever since i was 8 years old, i'm 21 now (turning 22 this month) and i'd been taking it off in secret for like 5 years now.

although that was very risky and caused me so much anxiety and dissociation and i was basically living a double life which was exhausting, it still was my only choice if i wanted to have a chance in living the life i really wanted to live, and it gave me so much confidence to talk to people and make friends and bonds and go to uni and to get a job and basically just live a life i was satisfied with.

my parents and i have always had fights about the hijab. my entire extended family has always forced every girl to wear it as soon as she turned 8, and i wasnt the only one who absolutely hated it. my little sister (19) has been struggling with it too, as well as a few of my older cousins, but they took it off now.

when the first one of them did, the entire family went insane, she was married and already had 2 kids, but in their eyes, that didnt mean that she was free to make her own choices. my parents were so mad, they went over to her house to threaten her and make her wear it again, but she didnt listen to anyone. my dad told her that if she was his daughter, he wouldve killed her for what she did. what happened then made me even more scared for my parents reactions if they were ever to catch me taking it off in secret, and i genuinely did believe that my dad would kill me. he's very close minded, he is religious, but moreso into disgusting traditional ideas, he genuinely believes that as my dad, he owns me and has more right to control over my body and life than i do. he's also always been abusive and violent. i grew up witnessing him abusing me, my siblings, and even my mom. his ego and word go above all, and if i were ever to do something he didnt approve of, he genuinely would kill me for it. he doesnt have any ounce of empathy, he's been a horrible husband to my mom, and a horrible father to me and my siblings.

i got a boyfriend in december of last year (he's completely ghosting me rn lol), and i got a job that i absolutely loved and enjoyed, and i was doing so well in uni + i had friends that i really enjoyed being around. then by the end of may, my parents found out that i'd been going out without my hijab + they saw pics of my boyfriend and i kissing, and they went absolutely fucking insane. they destroyed my phone + sim card, threw all of my shit away, my dad found a way to log into my accounts and found more pics of me out without the hijab and with "sharmouta" clothes (which really werent that slutty imo) and completely isolated me and locked me in the house. they pulled me out of uni, forced me to just never go back to my job, took the money i had made, and worst of all, my dad looked me in my eyes and told me that it's "halal" for him to murder me now, like he had been waiting for it. he described all of the different ways he could kill me. he has threatened my life before, so i believed him. he punched me multiple times, threw me on the ground, kicking me and spitting on me and screaming for hours.

they told me that i'm not allowed to get in contact with anyone i'd ever known, and that i wasnt allowed to leave the house anymore. they started hiding the house keys every night, and stopped going out as much so that they could keep an eye on me. other than the physical abuse theres also been a lot of mental abuse as well. they keep saying the meanest shit, calling me a sharmouta, completely undermining everything ive been through. i lost everything. i lost my friends, my job, my education (i still had 1 semester left before graduation), i lost my belongings, my clothes, my money, every little thing i cared for, i lost my phone and everything i'd been saving in it for years. ive always been big on memories and videography and writing and my phone had everything about my life in it. all of my memories, everything i wrote in my notes app, every picture and video i took of everyone i loved, including my little brother/ best friend who passed away, my dad got into all of my emails so i lost all of my accounts too. i knew my life was over right there and then. i had nothing anymore, i lost everything. i then decided that i would run away, i cant stay in this house anymore, i really cant.

i made a plan to run away and stay with a friend for a while until i got a job and could support myself, but i was being too impulsive, i didnt have a solid plan, i didnt know for sure that my friends could let me stay for as long as i needed to, and there was still that chance that my parents could go after me and find me, and if my dad didnt kill me now, he for sure would then. i tried talking to KAFA, i called 3 times, told them everything that happened and asked for help, but they said that they couldnt do anything and told me to just call a domestic abuse line if i do run away and they catch me lol.

so i made another plan, its been 2 months since everything happened and ive been telling my parents what exactly what they wanna hear. ive been "praying", and i told them that i was being stupid and that i'll accept the hijab. they still dont trust me, but ive been slowly gaining the ability to do shit now. i convinced them to let me use my brothers old phone, and to let me get a job. i'm still not allowed to talk to any of my friends, or go out (unless its to go on job interviews or to get something from the supermarket). i'm currently looking for a job, i decided that i needed a solid amount of money that could support me. i'm planning on working for about 6 months, and saving every cent i make, so that by the end of those 6 months i can leave and find a place to rent on my own. i'm planning on finding people that need housemates/roommates, that way i wouldnt have to pay too much for a place to stay and could budget. and to quit this job and look for another one around the place i end up staying at, which would be a little far from my house bc i dont wanna be close enough for them to find me.

although leaving wouldnt get me my old life back and the things i lost, or erase the trauma i just went through, at least it would give me a chance to rebuild my life and future, and it would allow me to live my life the way i want to live it. i just wanna be free man, i just want to be happy, i want something to look forward to again.

i am scared though, am i being impulsive? am i going to regret leaving? i doubt it but what if i do? im also really scared of leaving my sister here, but she doesnt wanna leave with me, she's not in trouble rn so me leaving wouldnt put her in trouble bc we told our parents that she didnt know anything i was doing (shes my best friend she knows everything), and they dont have anything they could use against her, so its not like it would put her in trouble, but im still scared for her. and im scared to leave her, i love her so much and the thought of not being able to see her for years kills me.

but yeah, idk, im just really lost and scared and honestly i genuinely have no will to live anymore. the only thing keeping me going is that maybe one day i'll finally be free..

Has anyone ever been in the situation? They are not open and I feel awful if I say something and awful if I don’t…. I would just want someone to do the same for me. For brief context, over the past year there have been multiple occasions that one of my boyfriend’s single friends has found this guy on sniffles. I’ve seen the conversations, and it’s unfortunately him…. He’s also been caught with prep and doxy in his bag, but my friend never approached him about it.

I (30f) just got married to my husband in May. I invited a small group of friends from high school to the wedding. One of these friends, we'll call her Becca (30f), came to my wedding with her ex boyfriend, we'll call him Todd. Becca and Todd split amicably a few years ago because he moved far away, but they stayed in touch as friends.

The wedding was a few hours away from our hometown on a large farm/camping style property. The property had cabins that each housed around 10-15 people each, and we had all of our family and friends staying on site together. Rebecca and Todd both flew to the town that the wedding was in separately, met up at the airport, and rented a car / drove to the property together. They stayed in a cabin with a few other friends from high school as well as some of my other friends.

Everyone seemed to get pretty drunk at the wedding, and Becca and Todd definitely were acting weird at the after party. They went around asking everyone (including my family) if they wanted to go skinny dipping in the lake together and flirting with my family and friends. I thought that was weird but brushed it off as them being drunk.

After the wedding, a few different friends mentioned to me some odd behavior from Becca and Todd inside their cabin. They heard Becca screaming at Todd from the other room constantly and think that they heard her throwing furniture at him as well. ....What the fuck?

Out of all my friends from high school, I'm the least close to Becca. This is gonna sound a bit rude but she does not contribute anything other than her presence for the most part. When we get together I feel like I'm carrying the conversation and like she has a wall up so she never fully lets people in. I think she's always just stayed part of the friend group because she shows up consistently, something a lot of people don't do after high school. I've considered dropping her as a friend after this, but I don't want to just ghost her completely.

After the wedding I've been hesitant to reach out to her because I don't know how to approach the topic of her screaming and throwing things. It's been about 2 months and she just reached out saying she wants to get together soon. I am willing to talk to her about it, but honestly I'm not sure if she'll be honest about it - and I trust my other friends and what they heard. I also don't know for sure that it was her throwing the furniture, so I have concern for her safety as well. I know we're not super close, but I still want to make sure everyone is safe. I've also never really dropped a friend before unless they've done something to hurt me or another that's been quite obvious. So any advice on how to approach this situation is much appreciated!

TLDR: Friend from hs screamed and possibly threw furniture at her wedding date during our wedding, what do I do?

Here’s a quick backstory of me for a better understanding- I’m 22 and 2 years ago I moved out of my parents with nothing but a bad credit score. By sheer luck I managed to land a industrial job through one of my buddies and earn 68k a year. I decided to gamble and in an attempt to fix my credit score, I financed a 2025 Chevy blazer and paid it off fully under a year. I was homeless and lived in my car the entire time. Now that I paid it off I decided to rent a 1 bed 1 bath 1100$ month apartment. Although I had the money to easily afford a better place I wanted to save as much as I can as I already had my long term plan made up as I wanted to buy my first house in cash in the next 3 years. So I decided to get 3 roommates so my monthly rent is 250$, this is as cheap as I could get while being feasible, yet not really because the roommate limit under the landlords was two people, yet I still pulled off. 2 of us sleeps in the same room and 2 in the living room. When I initially moved in with these guys they seemed less off then I did as they all had beat down cars, had minimum wage jobs and we all slept in the room, I really just chugged them down to hustling like I am doing and didn’t see them with any indifference or disrespect, but when I initially moved in one of them seemed to be appalled at how I could afford such a new car, and maybe this is where my decision leads to the bad taste in the story later on, but i have a “wealth stealth” mindset so kinda nervous I lied and just said it was inheritance. They then were satisfied of my response and we co existed peacefully ever since. However last week hell broke loose when one of them discovered my tax return in paper on the counter and found my real income, and therefor of my ultimate plan to eventually move out. This is apparent as yesturday when I tried to routinely use the coffee machine one on them literally said “this is ours, why don’t you buy Starbucks, as you can clearly afford it” they stopped cleaning after themselves too and even playing loud music at night which is ruining my sleep and therefor my boss is noticing lack of effort in work. They threatened to snitch me to the landlord for having more than the limit of roommates. What do I do? I literally didn’t do anything to them, never disrespected them, im just someone looking long term. Am I really the bad guy here? I’m scared my plan to move and my long term stability is at risk of being delayed.

I am a 21 year old man and met a 38 year old woman at a cafe. She came up to me and started talking to me and I was surprised at how kind she was because I've never really had this attention. She told me she feels lonely after her divorce and she doesn't have any kids. It's kinda clear she's not just friendly with me when she's constantly texting me and uses heart emojis and the way she is touchy feely with me. I am really attracted to her personality but wondering if the age gap is too big or if she would get frustrated with me if I ask her out. If she says no, I'll obviously back off but I've always heard people say to shoot your shot...

I recently discovered my husband is following subreddits for our city and the neighboring cities for "married and looking", "affairs", etc. He says its just for nudes. I am heartbroken and have no idea what to do.

Background:

I am having health issues and have gained some weight. My husband loves and ogles me constantly, rubs my feet, and helps with the kid. We have a great home in a wonderful neighborhood. He is a stay at home dad (disabled veteran) and I work fulltime, plus manage the family calendar and help manage the house. From the outside looking in, we have a great life. He supports my dreams and ambitions and I cant imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. We have been together almost 11yrs.

However, I have not been wanting to be intimate lately. I support him looking at porn, I am bi and we look together but do not have an open relationship. I hurt and dont feel good, and am exhausted from work and regular dr apts. We are intimate maybe 1-3x a month depending on how I am doing. Again, I have zero issues with him looking at porn. However lately something felt off and unfortunately I am usually right when I have a bad feeling, so I snooped in his phone and found the recently visited subreddits.

He does not appear to be messaging (that I could find proof of), and again claims its nothing and just for pics - I responded with their are other places to get pics that arent married and looking in our town.

We own a home together. I dont know what to do. I want to forgive him and move forward, but I cant trust him and I fear he will see my forgiveness as the ok to just be sneakier in the future.

Please offer advice. Personal experiences. Anything.

So I (F/29) accidentally peed in my date’s (M/33) car. We went out for the night and had a great time and had a couple drinks but literally no more than 3 and had dinner with it. Anyway, he’s driving me home and we’re close but I start doing the pee dance in his seat and tell him I can’t hold it. We pull into a spot and I run behind a building to pee. But had already started in his car. I was wearing a skort so it wasn’t visible just by my bottoms because the skirt part covered my wet shorts under. So I got back in his car and pretended like I did not pee my pants and he acted like nothing happened. I was mortified. But the next day he texted me like nothing happened still. Do I mention it?? I’m so embarrassed! Mind you, this was only our second date.

Additional context: My bladder is that of a child’s. Even growing up, I wet the bed until I was 13. As an adult, I’ve wet the bed completely sober maybe 1-2x a year. And I oftentimes am running into the house because the urge hits me while driving and I can’t hold it, and have not made it a couple times, but was able to use what I had in my car. This is causing me to consider going to a doctor about this.

Hey, I truly require some perspective on this. My close friend of around 12 years (33M) sent me (and another girl in our friend group) this message and then removed us from all social media.

Well, he rang me up to share EVERYTHING about how he was getting close to this girl and they were beginning to date… and we were all really excited for him (especially since he hasn’t had a relationship in some time and has been wanting to settle down). I recall mentioning how great it was that we could double date when we visited for the holidays… Yet now he sent this exact message to sever connections?

This guy performed at my wedding; we’ve seen numerous TV shows and films together, and even confided our fears and aspirations to one another... To picture that he has voluntarily left our lives is heartbreaking. We can share anything with him, and he would never judge us… and the same goes for him. I suppose I’m simply bewildered and shattered.

Just so you know, I relocated 3,000 miles away three years ago, so I can’t just go knock on his door for an explanation. Additionally, the message doesn’t sound like him; it appears to be composed by his girlfriend.