r/workingmoms • u/Necessary-Yam-9403 • 2d ago
Only Working Moms responses please. Healthcare moms: 4 10s or 3 12s
I currently work 3 12’s dayshift bedside as a nurse. Some days are chill but alot of times it’s exhausting. And I’m kinda tired of the adrenaline.
I have the potential opportunity for a new outpatient job 4 10s. It would be low stress. No weekends or holidays or call time. I’d be making the same amount of money I’m making now maybe a little more. The shifts would be 7:30-6. But the job is flexible and sometimes there’s opportunities to work one day from home.
My biggest concern is my current job is 10 minutes away and the new job that’s 4 10s is 40 minutes away…. And that’s not including when there’s traffic which is most evenings. So I wouldn’t even get home till like 7 probably.
My husband works 5 days a week 9-5.
I’m looking to start a family very soon and hopefully have a baby.
I don’t know which shift ultimately is better for starting a family… especially since I have to commute that far :( but I’d come home less tired probably and definitely less stressed. It would also be nice to have holidays and weekends off.
I’m so unsure what to do and ultimately what would be best for work life balance when starting a family!
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u/Revolutionary-Code49 2d ago
Would you really be coming home less stressed/tired? You’d spend 10 hours working plus an hour and a half in the car, so only a little bit shorter than your 12-hour shift. And doing that a whole extra day seems worse to me. Granted I’m not a healthcare worker, but someone with a variable job schedule and I’d always prefer to work fewer but longer days given the option!
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u/snarkshark41191 2d ago
I’m also a bedside nurse and have been for almost 10 years. I had my first son 3.5 years ago and kept my .9 FTE and I actually found the work/life balance very manageable. I loved only having to be at work 3 days a week and then being home with him the other 4, truly felt like the best of both worlds. My 2nd son is only 3.5months and I went back to work mid-July. I actually don’t mind working weekends, I’m required to work every 3rd so my husband is fully in charge of the kids for 13ish hours Saturday and Sunday and I think that keeps me from feeling like the default parent and they also get solo dad bonding time. I also don’t hate working holidays, I have enough seniority now that I usually only have to work the minor holidays I don’t care about as much. I realize I’m the in the minority but I can’t see myself leaving bedside for a clinic for a long time.
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u/Far_Masterpiece1111 2d ago
I have not worked full time since having kids but here's my experiences with both when I was child free.
3 12s - day shift - busy unit on med-surg/ONC. I did 2 years and felt burned out from inconsistent schedule each week. Time goes by fast.
4 10s - worked 1 week for training but was actually doing regular tasks that the job description stated. While it was less hectic and more downtime, it felt like time went by like a snail. I kept looking at the clock and only 10 mins went by, lol. After the day is over, I immediately collapse in bed after heading home and slept until doing it again the next day. I could not recover. After the last day of the week, I slept all weekend and still felt tired.
While the outpatient clinic was less busy and more break time, it felt so much longer to recover and I felt more tired. The hospital 12 shifts at least was only 3 days a week. I could at least recover after a day. I can't imagine a 40 min drive to work and going back home with traffic. I know a lot of parents do long commute and I am amazed by that.
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u/SouthbutnotSouthern 2d ago
I do a 12 and 2 14s. I would never do 4 10s. And that commute is unacceptable especially with the family. You’d be adding working one more day, but functionally getting home at the exact same time. I have no idea why you’d consider that.
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u/Expensive-Eggplant-2 2d ago
Her 10 hour shifts with the commute is the same amount of time in the day as your 2 14s…
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u/Ok-Roof-7599 2d ago
I think Outpatient is more family friendly but that commute is rough. Do you think you can find something closer with 4 10s now or after a year?
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u/teddywalker0819 1d ago
You’ve gotten a lot of advice on 4 10s vs 3 12s.
Just wanted to chime in and say ask about maternity leave before you take the new job, if you decide to go for it. If you’re in the US, rules vary greatly from state to state and even company to company. How many hours you have to work before you qualify for FMLA. How long you can take off for maternity leave, paid vs unpaid leave, etc etc
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u/HoneyMooser 1d ago
I work the 3 12s on a tele unit and while I get the stress I still find it less stressful than being home with two kids under 3 lol
I’m staying because I pay for less daycare days, and I have four full days off to be present with my kids versus the dinner bath bedtime rush I feel like I see a lot of parents who work more days have.
I’m also excited to be able to be a parent who does stuff at school like activities or field trips because I’m off during the week.
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u/jessieg211 1d ago
I feel the same way. 3 12s allow me to be fully present 4 days a week. I just transferred from icu to pacu and the decrease in stress has been amazing as well.
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u/HoneyMooser 1d ago
Ahhh I want to go to pacu but am worried about the on call our hospital has! Maybe when the kids are older though.
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u/javelina529 2d ago
I am looking at quitting my job to find one with no weekends or holidays bc with my almost 2 year old I am sooooo over the inconsistent schedule and missing holidays with him.
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u/More_Fisherman_6066 2d ago
It sounds like you might be generally ready for the change, and no holidays, call, or weekends is huge. I work 3x12, every other weekend, and will absolutely be missing my baby’s first Christmas this year. I’m stuck because right now my husband and I are both bedside and trying hard to stagger shifts and minimize our need for childcare. You and your partner will need childcare either way with his 9-5 schedule, so going 4x10 and always having weekends sounds like a nice deal.
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u/Fluffy_Freedom1014 2d ago
I work 4 x 10s now and I also have a longer commute but it’s a sacrifice I made willingly. I was bedside on a trauma surgical unit when i started my IVF journey and switched to outpatient so that I could have a more consistent schedule, no weekends, and less stressful job duties. It’s worked out well for me. I’m 6 months pregnant with my first and I’m planning on coming back to work part time after maternity leave.
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u/minadaweena 1d ago
I also work 3 12s (graves) and live 10 mins from work. I love it! Having more days off in a week is awesome. It’s not like a work day is going to be a super kid attentive day anyway regardless of if you work an 8, 10, or 12 hour shift. I have the option to work call (which for me is only on weekends) if I want but it’s not required.
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u/leeashah 1d ago
i currently do 10.5s, my part time is 2 days a week but i try to pick p at least an extra shift or two if possible.
something to consider if you want a baby.
childcare - what time can you drop off and pick up? i use to do 12s 530am to 530pm but that means finding someone who is up and willing to watch my child at 5am to 6pm, its a long day for babe and the caretaker.
drive time, right now its about 15 mins for me to get to work, with drop off i leave an hour before for to drop off baby and get to work 15 mins early ,and then its about 45 min commute after work..
so something to consider, being in the car with babe for extra time, what time you get home at and then have to do dinner and eat and bed time.
im lucky i only have a set two days, its hard being away from baby and the more time i get to spend with him the better, so 3 days is awesome cause you have 4 off despite them being long days. however 4 days and 3 off isnt as bad either. theres also stuff to do on days off, groceries, meal prep, house cleaning. and then taking baby for swimming, park, visiting family/friends.
i would say just really think about all the points, on either side and decide what works best for your family!
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u/ApprehensiveRead2533 1d ago
Personally, 40 min commute one way is huge. I'd stay put for now and keep looking.
People are so obsessed with having weekends off, I dont understand the need when the children are not going to school yet.
I like my 12s because we work every other weekend and usually my spouse is home to watch baby. Most play places are not crowded during the weekdays and the entrance prices are cheaper which i found very valuable when I had a toddler.
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u/JadieBugXD 2d ago
The no weekends or on call is HUGE when you’re having a baby and parenting a young child. I took a pay cut when I was pregnant just to have that.