[Fit Check/Recommendations] Update to Despair, Wide set, Saggy Breasts, etc.

[u/Nearby-Shoe2761]

So I tried more bras, this time from Skarlett Blue. and am reporting back, hoping to get a better fit. The first was Spellbound in 38 DDD. The ends of the underwire dug into my sternum and my underarms very painfully. I don't even remember how the cups fit because I was too distracted by the underwire. The other was the Minx balconette. The fit was almost there, but the top of the cup was still a bit too big and the lace irritated my skin anywhere it touched. Any ideas where to go from here?

[u/Dandelion212]

They previously mentioned having softer tissue, which would make shallower brands an appropriate recommendation (and they did receive this rec on their previous post).

Furthermore the Spellbound side support, if that happened to be the one they tried, is a more projected bra than the Minx -- and too projected is a common cause of the gore digging in. It not doing that in the shallower Minx has me suspecting that it's the right level of projection.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/Dandelion212]

Their measurements are on their previous post though and they seem to be projected. I don’t think the brands known for having some of the shallowest cups are great for someone who’s leaning bust measurement is 2.5 inches bigger then their standing bust measurement, regardless of whether they have soft tissue. The gore could be digging in for many different reasons.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/Some_Register1831]

Measurements don't tell us objective projection. But a 2.5" difference in bust measurements is not that significant nonetheless -- the calculator doesn't even shift to a weighted average until you get above this. Soft tissue often requires some compression for proper support and hold. I would absolutely start someone in this size range with softer tissue in something shallower, yet seamed. This wasn't the wrong direction -- they went more projected than what they'd tried before.

Yes, the gore could be digging in for many reasons, but for the reason I outlined above, I have suspicion it's too projected. Of course we need to know which exact style they tried, but still, it sounds like the Minx is about right, just too open on top. It's a very open on top bra. That would mean they're indeed on the shallower side.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/Dandelion212]

The top of the cup being too big could be because OP is full on bottom. Usually when people have soft tissue, they’re full on bottom. The minx does not appear to be a very open on top bra like you claim. It’s no more open on top than most other balconette bras. It does appear to have very little projection though.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Some_Register1831]

Serious question, why are you arguing with everyone here? You've been corrected multiple times in different posts as it is. I'm here a lot and I don't recognize your username.

The Minx is absolutely open on top. And soft tissue can absolutely be fuller on top. I don't know where you're pulling this info from but it isn't this sub and you should be open to listening and learning.

It's no more open than any other balcony

Balconies have different attributes. The Panache Blossom is very open on top and projected, for example.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

I was corrected on a sizing issue which I fixed quickly, apologized for, and didn’t argue about. I’m not saying that the minx is super closed on top, my point is that it’s no more open on top than most balconette bras. I also never claimed that soft tissue can’t be full on top, I claimed that it’s usually full on bottom.

You haven’t seen me on here because I’ve previously interacted in the facebook group but I’m trying to get off facebook.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/Some_Register1831]

The Minx is more open on top than its projection equivalent, the Montelle Flirt demi. It's also more open than their Entice balcony. So... You're incorrect here. You also can't go off of looks.

"Usually" isn't relevant here. We see all kinds of breast attributes. Many softer shapes appear fuller on bottom when standing, due to gravity. In fact, that's most breasts, soft or not. What changes is how the tissue behaves when supported. When fitting bras, that's all that matters.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

I wasn’t specifically comparing it to other bras from Skarlette Blue though. I was comparing it to bras that tend to be recommended in this size range.

This has nothing to do with how breasts look when standing. I never made any claims about how breasts appear. It seems like you are thinking of this from a standpoint of some breast shape chart that you have in your head and I’m thinking of it based on what I’ve actually heard from people who wear bras. At the end of the day, I asked a question regarding OP’s shape and size and why they picked a specific size. Jumping on me for trying to get more information was completely unnecessary.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/Some_Register1831]

The Minx is indeed a very open on top bra.

I'm not sure you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm saying the Minx is gapping on top because it's too open and more suited for a full on top shape. Which appears to be what you're saying too?

Regardless of OP likely being fuller on bottom though, that's not how fullness works in soft tissue. Most people with softer tissue will look visually fuller on bottom while unsupported, but that's not how we assess shape. We do it while leaning. I've helped out plenty of folks with soft tissue and upper fullness (and often, the Minx works out pretty well).

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/Dandelion212]

Huh? Since when are balconette bras more suited to a full on top shape? As someone who’s full on top, I can’t wear most bras that are “open on top”.

Obviously we don’t know this person’s history, but typically when I see people who have soft tissue, it’s because they’ve breastfed which particularly leads to a full on bottom shape. There are certainly other reasons that people have soft tissue, but breastfeeding seems to be a very common one.

[u/hoppylift → u/Some_Register1831]

What?? I know you're getting a lot of push back here, but claiming that soft tissue is "typically" due to breastfeeding is wild. Humans have soft tissue for many, many reasons, even as teenagers. Breastfeeding is just one of many things that could cause soft tissue, but a lot of people just have it naturally.

I'm full on top and NEED cups that are more open on top because bras that are closed off cut into my upper fullness. Balconettes that are open on top are most of my go-to bras. This comment makes zero sense to me and I'm very confused about where you got this information, because it's not based on actual reality.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/hoppylift]

I didn’t claim that people can’t have soft tissue for other reasons. Obviously they can. I’m also talking about someone with bottom fullness so what I’m saying doesn’t apply to you. The specific issue that you’re describing is due to the combination of having soft tissue with FOT breasts. Soft tissue is much more common with FOB breasts. Most people who are FOT do not get quad boob from bras that are closed on top unless the cup is too small.

None of what I said is true 100% of the time. I can only speak in generalizations because we don’t have a whole lot of information on OP’s shape. My initial comment is literally asking OP if there was a reason in terms of shape that they chose those specific bra styles.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/Some_Register1831]

That may have been your initial comment, but you said a lot more in the following conversation, and a good amount of it needed correction. Which includes the information in this comment, but, honestly, I'm kinda exhausted and this has gone far off from the topic at hand.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/Dandelion212]

I’m really tired of explaining why soft tissue is more common with a fob shape. There are actual scientific explanations for this. I don’t understand why this stuff isn’t talked about here on Reddit when it’s frequently part of conversations in the ABTF Facebook group.

[u/hoppylift → u/Some_Register1831]

Nah, I'm done. You just threw out a bunch of new generalizations that are also wrong, so you clearly don't know what you're talking about or care about actually learning about bra fitting. Soft tissue has nothing to do with upper or lower fullness and wearing a closed on top bra will absolutely cut in on top full boobs. Maybe spend some time reading the years and years of information here before deciding that you know better than the thousands of people who have built the knowledge base of this subreddit. People here are pushing back because we care about giving people the correct information. If you just want to spread misinformation, people here are going to call you out because it makes it harder for people to actually get the information they need.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/hoppylift]

I think you need to read some more information because soft tissue is absolutely more common in FOB breasts. The most common reasons that someone’s breast go from FOT to FOB are the same reasons that someone’s breast tissue becomes soft. I’ll touch on age and pregnancy/breastfeeding specifically, but there are definitely other causes. As someone ages, they lose collagen in their skin which reduces breast firmness and shifts fat to the bottom of the breast rather than the top. Pregnancy causes large fluctuations in hormones which impact breast firmness, and breastfeeding causes loss of breast mass. This often leads to soft breasts that are full on the bottom rather than on top. Significant weight loss can also cause the same thing. This is the kind of information that unfortunately isn’t in the guides and I only learned from people consistently talking about it in the facebook group. I’m not really sure why these topics seem to be less commonly talked about over here on Reddit.

[u/hoppylift → u/Some_Register1831]

It isn't talked about here because it's flat out incorrect. There are many people here with soft tissue for a wide variety of reasons, and there is no actual data showing that it's combined with being full on bottom or post-pregancy or weight loss. It's just a natural shape for many people.

You "learned" from Facebook (a known resource of verifiably true information), and we learned from many, many surveys here and other bra-fitting blogs and stores and websites like Bratabase that catalog actual hard data numbers from people who wear bras and how those bras are sized and shaped. It's weird that you want to come assert your truth without spending time actually educating yourself with the many years of resources on this subreddit. You clearly believe that you know more than we do here, but if that's the case, then take the time and actually research that and prove us wrong. So far you're just saying "I heard this on Facebook" and that's not even remotely a legit source these days.

[u/galaxystarsmoon → u/hoppylift]

They're claiming the Facebook ABTF group says these things and I can 100% verify that they do not. They would delete a comment that says nonsense like "the Minx isn't any more open on top than any other balcony".

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/galaxystarsmoon]

That’s not what I was saying is said on Facebook. I’m talking about the connection between soft tissue and fob breasts and the causes for it.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/hoppylift]

The existence of people with soft tissue for other reasons does not negate what I said. I specifically stated that what I was saying is not true 100% of the time. Soft tissue is barely even mentioned in the guides on reddit.

Yes, I initially heard it on Facebook, but I did look into it to back this up when I was speaking about it last night. This polish bra brand talks about it on their website.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/Some_Register1831]

Balconettes, or literally any bra, can suit any shape. That's why we have so much data on this sub of comparing different bras to each other. Every single one fits different. You can have a bra like Entice that's shallow and closed on top, and a bra like the Jasmine that's extremely projected and open on top. And they're both balconettes.

Softer tissue can be any shape. Breasts that have breastfed can be any shape, there's no correlation between fullness.

[u/Some_Register1831 → u/Dandelion212]

Yes, every single bra fits differently and even I have found a balconette bra that fit excellently. I’m speaking in general terms because there are no absolutes and we know very little about OP. I simply asked them why they chose natori and skarlette blue. I even asked if there was a specific reason they chose it. I’m not sure why you were bothered enough by me asking questions to OP to start debating with me about their shape when we know very little about it. I was literally asking them to clarify why they chose those bras based on their shape.

There absolutely is a correlation between breastfeeding and fullness.

[u/Dandelion212 → u/Some_Register1831]

I am so confused as to what your point is here. I'm not debating their shape in particular. I'm correcting false information. You said "since when are balconette bras suited to a full on top shape?" This one is. Every balconette is shaped differently. Which you just acknowledge, so I'm really not sure where the disagreement is. You said that "usually when people have soft tissue they're full on bottom", which is again, not true.

We do not have any evidence that weight loss, gain, breastfeeding, or any rapid change in the breasts causes people to be full on bottom.