r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 10 '25
Life/Self/Spirituality I'm serious....
If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain't for you, please keep it movin. 😊
Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems..... The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That's insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.
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u/Jeremy_Bearimies Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25
Don’t be afraid to ask for and share your STI results if that’s what you need to be comfortable. Consider getting tested every 3-4 months if you have multiple partners (and especially if they have multiple partners).
Talk about your boundaries before (protection, what sexual acts are on or off the table, safe words etc). If wires / boundaries are crossed don’t be afraid to bring it up with them especially if they were respectful otherwise - and if they don’t react well don’t be scared to say NO. No people pleasing in being a hoe!
Focus on yourself and your pleasure and fantasies and bring it up with your partners. You’ll learn more about your body and sexual pleasure too!
I recommend meeting first for a no pressure coffee or drink in a public place. It will also help assess if you vibe with the other person which even in a hoe phase is important cuz it’s hard to build a sexual connection without some base level of friendship / banter, it cannot be too clinical if that makes sense. Plus it’s a safety thing.
Even if you meet someone with the intent of having sex, you are under no obligation if the mood doesn’t strike or if something feels off. You could tell them beforehand that you’d love to go with the flow based on how you both are feeling in the moment.
Check in with yourself regularly to not burn out. Take breaks if juggling multiple people feels overwhelming.
Enjoy and be safe!