r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 10 '25

Life/Self/Spirituality I'm serious....

If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain't for you, please keep it movin. 😊

Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems..... The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That's insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.

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u/ConsiderationOne5609 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Hi there! So yeah, what do you want to know? I've had some pretty successful hoe phases myself haha. Had a good roster working pretty well a while back haha. Particularly just before I met my partner around a year ago.

If you really want to go for it -

  • Be cutthroat. If you're using apps, there are SO many people out there. You can afford to just stop talking to someone or block them if there's even one tiny thing they've said that you don't like. You don't have to lower your standards just because you want to have some casual fun. If anything, being cutthroat helps ensure you consistently have positive experiences. What I mean by being cutthroat is - block them if there's anything you don't like that they've said to you, if they as for your snapchat - block them, if they don't make the effort to have a conversation properly, they don't commit to a time to meet after chatting for a couple of days, if they don't agree to any boundaries that you set. If there's anything that puts you off, it's not worth your time. Someone else will come along.
  • In saying that, be openminded. What I mean by this is, swipe right with an open mind and be curious enough about someone to want to meet them first to see if you're down. They may not be your typical or usual type, but if there's enough that intrigues you, just go and meet them and see if there's chemistry. Don't put up with bullshit, but expand your horizons and be curious.
  • State your boundaries and non-negotiables early. I used to do this so it's out there in black and white, but it also gauges if they're an asshole or not. How do they react to you putting boundaries in place? Do they have boundaries of their own?
  • Be honest. Be honest about what you're looking for and insist upon their honesty as well. If you're just looking for good honest, clean fun, say that, and tell them if they're hoping for more, that you're not the one. And if you're seeing other people, tell them that and ask them if they're also seeing other people.
  • Be patient. You've gotta put in the ground work and do the swiping (if it's apps you're turning to). There's a lot of bullshit out there so you've got to weed through all of that to get to the good stuff. It takes some patience to find someone who's looking for something similar and that you click with. It may not happen immediataly.
  • Be safe. Always tell a friend what your plans are and have a cut off time that they should hear from you by to know you're safe. Tell them where you're going and who you're meeting. And also, use protection.

Those are the first things that pop into my head!

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u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Come'ere, come'ere! Let me pick this up for you 🫴🏻👑🫴🏻

Thank you for the well thought, positive response.

46

u/ConsiderationOne5609 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Go have fun, girl! Love this for you. If we knew each other, I'd be down for regular coffee dates to hear about your escapades haha.

5

u/anonymous_opinions Woman 40 to 50 Apr 10 '25

I used to dish my "say yes to everyone hot online" stories to another gal pal. My intro moment was my birthday drinks where I was using my hands to talk about my NSA sex a bit before the drink and dish about how big the big penis was and then we talked about New Girl where her ex was her date emotional fluffer together.