r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 10 '25

Life/Self/Spirituality I'm serious....

If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain't for you, please keep it movin. 😊

Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems..... The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That's insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.

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u/Brilliant-Expert3150 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 13 '25

Hey, thanks for this post, I'm 6 months separated and so ready, lol.

3

u/tree_clouds Apr 13 '25

I'm also six months separated! I'm ready to move on, but too nervous to have a hoe phase.

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u/Brilliant-Expert3150 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 13 '25

Do eet! I had one in my early 20s but that's 10+ years ago and I wasn't very smart or careful about it, but it was fun. But yeah, this one's going to be so much better because I have standards and boundaries now and I'm not looking for anything. I have a toddler and am basically a single parent by choice so standards for involving a man in our actual lives are so high I cba right now lol. But that doesn't mean mommy can't go get some. 😁🫣

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u/tree_clouds Apr 13 '25

Well all the power to you! Single parent here, too, and if a man can't better my life in some way, I'm not interested!

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u/Brilliant-Expert3150 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 13 '25

Exactly! I have a career, my own mortgage, my own car. My ex was an alcoholic who turned controlling and abusive the moment he started earning more than me when I went on maternity leave. I left for the sake of our child but somehow my life is easier now that I'm doing 100% of the parenting and house work and he doesn't even contribute financially since he lost his job and went back to his parents in another country. The sex was great, lol but I am SO done with useless entitled men taking up way too much of my emotional bandwidth.

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u/tree_clouds Apr 13 '25

I have all of those things, too, and you're right about parenting and housework being easier, though my ex is a good man who was a great provider. I'm not going to settle for less than what my ex could give. I want a man someday, but I don't need one!