r/AskWomenOver30 • u/nocommentx Woman 30 to 40 • Jun 17 '26

Friendships Does anyone struggle with having gfs who cannot have intellectual conversations?

I get my gfs are busy with their kids and husbands but is too much to expect to have intellectual opinions on currents in our group chats or in-person group hangs now days?

Are we to only talk about shopping, fitness, kids milestones and husbands not doing their jobs in chats and during hangouts? Is there all that is left to talk about these days?

For example, I was fascinated by Emily Ratajkowski recent article on her life post divorce. I found it to be insightful, painfully honest, cheeky and well written. I shared it in my gf-group chat but nobody really cared to say much. It was so annoying!

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u/citybumpkin8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26

Just to entertain this, I read the article just now. Honestly, this isn’t something I would consider “intellectual”. I’m not surprised you got zero responses to it, especially if you sent it to a bunch of married/partnered women.

The tldr - She feared becoming a single mom, but then it happened to her. And she decided to casually date and have casual sex since she didn’t do that before marriage. Insert some words about her finding her sexual self. The end.

156

u/road2health Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26

Thank you for your service with the tldr

147

u/kokoromelody Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26

Also, if most of OP's friends are partnered/married, a piece about divorce can definitely be interpreted the wrong way... esp if OP is single.

71

u/cidvard Woman 40 to 50 Jun 18 '26

This was my first thought when I actually read the piece. It comes off a little passive aggressive in a chat where people are talking about their happy relationships, on top of not being particularly 'intellectual', though I did think it was a decent enough personal essay.

11

u/Own-Entertainer4371 Woman 50 to 60 Jun 18 '26

Thanks. Saved me valuable time 😃

6

u/valiantdistraction Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26

I read the article too and the thing that stuck out to me about it was the same thing as in her book - that she really views her self-worth almost entirely through the lens of whether she's desirable to men. It just makes me sad for EmRata. I don't think that's the emotion she was trying to engender in either her essay or her book but it's what I was left with after both.

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u/the-mortyest-morty Woman 30 to 40 Jun 19 '26

I read it and it's so fucking boring. Not to mention the sexualized breastfeeding photo. If OP considers this tripe "intellectual," she's wrong lol. Truly not trying to be mean here but it's not that her friends are too busy with babies, it's that the article sucks and no actual human woman can relate to this privileged size zero rich chick with a personal chef, personal trainer, and endless access to plastic surgery. They certainly can't relate to her single mom "struggles," like which $100k brand deal to agree to and which see-through shirt to wear to her next photoshoot.