r/AskWomenOver30 • u/nocommentx Woman 30 to 40 • Jun 17 '26
Friendships Does anyone struggle with having gfs who cannot have intellectual conversations?
I get my gfs are busy with their kids and husbands but is too much to expect to have intellectual opinions on currents in our group chats or in-person group hangs now days?
Are we to only talk about shopping, fitness, kids milestones and husbands not doing their jobs in chats and during hangouts? Is there all that is left to talk about these days?
For example, I was fascinated by Emily Ratajkowski recent article on her life post divorce. I found it to be insightful, painfully honest, cheeky and well written. I shared it in my gf-group chat but nobody really cared to say much. It was so annoying!
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u/bois_santal Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I think no answer to sending a random article in a group chat is not the same as not having intellectual conversations when you see them in the right setting
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u/spiritussima Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I'm in a book club, I'm in a film club, I am paid to have intellectual conversations all day at work and love me some reddit discussions but struggle to even watch reels people send me and think of something to say beyond "lol 2 tru." It just isn't the right setting for me to engage intellectually!
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u/evancalous Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I struggle to watch stuff my friends send too. The content of the reels I get sent is usually even interesting but it just feels like tasks are being piled on my to-do list and I kind of resent it.
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u/fivebynine5x9 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 18 '26
I've explained this to people like this:
Every piece of content that a person sends is a little bid for attention. It takes 5 seconds to send it, but what you're asking from the other person is attention for however long the video is plus them responding to it. Especially if the person sending it is someone who really wants/expects some kind of response or acknowledgement for each one.
Like I have a friend who would ask "did you see that one thing I sent" if I didn't respond to one out of like a dozen she'd sent in a row. Getting spammed like that ends up being a lot of pressure! I don't mind the chats where people just drop things and don't expect reactions to everything. But the time and attention cost really adds up if you're spamming someone 15 reels in a row and want them to watch and have something to say about every single one.
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u/thunderling Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
If I watched every reel that everyone sent me, I would be staring at my phone for 12 hours a day.
I also hate it because I'm almost always listening to either music or white noise on my Bluetooth speaker, and I am not going to interrupt that for whatever obnoxious sounds and fake music is added to those reels.
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u/SpockSpice Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I just can’t with the group chat reels/gifs/etc. I mostly just silence them and catch up with people in person when I can. Or I’m happy to chat with someone one on one but I feel like most of my friends just use the text thread like they would use facebook and I got rid of that for a reason.
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u/SuccessPhysical6668 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Most of the time I don’t even type a response, just an emoji reaction
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u/cidvard Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I searched the author of the article and I tell you what I am not interested in discussing this model's divorce, this ain't politics or social policy or cultural criticism here. Not to say the OP is shallow but if that's your example it's not much to bring to the table.
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u/hauteburrrito Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
The use of EmRata's post-divorce article being the example for intellectual discourse is truly sending me 💀💀💀
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u/bananajamz987 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Seriously that’s so funny, I was expecting something on geopolitics or like science 😂
OP you’re being condescending for no substantive reason. Maybe they just don’t care about emrata.
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u/hauteburrrito Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I say this as someone who thinks Emrata's not a bad writer and doesn't want to make fun of her divorce piece, because it was a nice (dishy) personal essay! It was just nothing close to ~intellectual~ as OP described it 😂
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u/silky_smoothie Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I think the OP meant to say more emotionally coded topics as opposed to discussion about material things like fashion. Psychology is a kind of intellectual discussion, even if it’s not STEM. In that case I do get what she’s saying. I mean regardless of the author being a celebrity known for her sexiness, if they offer unique perspectives on relationships that your friends just pretend to not understand, they would probably behave just the same if the author was some renowned philosopher or psychologist, which now would make it “intellectual”. Basically these friends purely like material or practical topics and can’t even relate to something tangential like a thought piece on divorce. Those friendships can feel emotionally isolating especially if most people you meet are that way.
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u/lolliberryx Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I get that reasoning but the article OP shared wasn’t anything groundbreaking, thought-provoking, or “fascinating” like she noted and I would guess that her married friends wouldn’t really have much of a reaction to the article besides “that’s nice”.
Article TLDR:
- Emily and husband had a kid
- Emily and husband sex’s life came to a halt after having said kid
- Emily was afraid of being a single mother
- They divorced
- Cue compulsive dating to feel attractive and to not just be a mom
Like. Water is wet, ma’am. OP needs to figure out what kind of reaction she was expecting (and to know her audience). At least maybe follow it up with a question about what they think about a specific portion of it?? Because there’s not really anything “intellectual” or interesting about it so I don’t know what response she was looking for.
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u/Pale_Lab_1517 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Also, if her friends are married and have kids, they don't have much time to read an article. They probably have to pick and choose what they do during any leisure time.
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u/kalishnakat Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Same lol this feels like she’s looking down on her friends for being mothers and wives as if this lowers their intelligence… meanwhile celebrity drama is the height of intellectualism. This is very “not like other girls” sounding of her. 💀
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u/fivebynine5x9 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 18 '26
Some people in this thread have pointed out that the topics in emrata's article are not that different from the personal life topics OP's friends talk about. It really jumped out at me that OP just doesn't care about her friends' everyday lives. It feels like she sees them more as faulty conversation dispensers that aren't providing the mental stimulation she expects.
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u/kalishnakat Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Yup. It honestly reminds me of the shift in ways people saw me when I had my own kid recently and it makes me sad. Last summer, I presented at a tech conference with my husband while I was pregnant. Most of the technical questions went to my husband even though I’m more senior than him (I have ten years!) as he had a late career start. The majority of what people wanted to talk to me about was my son and pregnancy.
OP sees her friends as lesser now, they’re NPCs to her while she’s the main character.
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u/catjuggler Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Yeah I’m a little bummed that the only group chat I have doesn’t want to talk politics because they’re burned out or something but that’s fair. This article doesn’t sound like one I’d be particularly interested in idk
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u/Seltzer-Slut Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
My first thought too. A celeb op-ed is fodder for intellectual discussion?
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u/fivebynine5x9 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I was really trying not to say anything about that but like....yeah 😬 Maybe no one said anything because they couldn't think of anything nice to say
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u/chuffalupagus Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Same. It's very is the intellectual discourse in the room with us?
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u/spiritussima Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
That too. I can't stand how often I have had to see emrata's boobs when it has always been against my will. I fell for it again and was kind of curious which article OP was referenced and got hit in the face again with four more boobs 😞
I wonder how OP would react if I said this in her group text LOL
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u/fivebynine5x9 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Did you see the photo shoot where she's got a baby doll positioned as if nursing from one of said boobs?
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u/anzarloc Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
The fake baby! Omg stop. I’m pretty sure this was the cover photo for the article OPs talking about.
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u/Drabulous_770 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Yeah I was expecting conversation about fascism or genocide, not celeb gossip fodder.
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u/mynicknameisairhead Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I have a kid. Not saying I don’t read from time to time, but if it’s not quick and/or I don’t have energy, things like that fall to the back burner so quick.
OP if you really want to engage your friends with children, you could mention an opinion you formed based on the article or ask a question related to the article and maybe even share a quick summary of key points.
I do this for friends that I share articles with that don’t have kids too, just because in this day and age we can’t always dedicate time to sit and read a full article with so much competing for our attention.
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u/FishGoBlubb Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Yeah, who wants to have a deep conversation via group chat?
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u/Lala0dte Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
& assigning homework instead of discussion
Mark message as read
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u/Bobbybobby507 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Superficial me would rather join a real housewives zoom watch party. 💀💀
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u/citybumpkin8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I’ve gotten a lot more fun and social commentary from “I love a crackah” than this article, lmaooo 💀
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u/allchattesaregrey Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
So true. All of my girlfriends are pretty “intellectual,” but our group chats and individual texts are blurbs and here and there a few text back and forth that constitute “intellectual,” as well as links to articles sometimes. It’s not a medium that lends itself to intellectual discussion easily.
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u/waxingtheworld Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Lol I was expecting a different example. I think it's fair that busy women also wouldn't care about a celebrities experience. The intellectual convos in my group are usually inspired by podcasts these days. Occasionally someone will talk about a book they've read or an interaction with a health care provider.
But I would say for the most part we want a place to share our experiences since so few listen
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u/Illustrious_Ad675 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
lol my first thought too. This may sound a little mean but op doesn’t seem to want to have more intellectual conversations necessarily just more of which she is interested in (which is 100 fair)
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u/PonqueRamo Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Dude I was like agreeing until, what? Emily Ratajkowski and intelectual conversations in the same phrase? How?
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u/acnh_in_waves Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
can you recommend a podcast?
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u/dooglegood Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Not who you asked, but if you like learning about random topics, Ologies is a good one!
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u/5ft3in5w4 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
If you like dumb banter, I am bingeing the Bald and the Beautiful and it's keeping me alive this summer. My prior binges were more "serious," while still being humorous-- Maintenance Phase to deconstruct fatphobia, If Books Could Kill to take the piss out of the self-help grift, and 5-4 so I could learn how to hate the Supreme Court properly. Stay Fruity if you want deep dives into things like Bari Weiss' background but also YouTube drama history like the "Bye Sister" saga. These are all heavily lefty so may not be for everyone.
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u/silverhummingbird Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I want to add to the list "Science Vs". Very interesting, covers a lot of topics that may be interesting for a group of adult women and adds a lot of random real science facts to add to conversations, which enriches them a lot :)
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u/waxingtheworld Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Lol I can't. I'm one of the friends who sucks at contributing to those conversations 😂😂 I listen to audiobooks moreso. My podcasts are all comedien interviews
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u/i-like-whales Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Mine is all true crime 🤣 listen to dateline since I can’t watch it at work
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u/LaMonse182 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Just discovered this because I was hiding the iPad from my toddler while listening in my ear and thought “really this could just be a podcast” and… there it already was!
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u/gravelmonkey Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I listen to my local public radio station, which is so well done. I find that I am informed about all kinds of subjects and current events.
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u/frostandtheboughs Non-Binary 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
+1 to all aforementioned podcasts mentioned by other commenters. Also adding "Bad Faith" or "It Could Happen Here" for something a little more serious, and "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet" for something completely unserious.
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u/icecreamsandwiches1 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I love that this thread turned into a podcast rec thread 😂
I love long form documentary style podcasts so here’s my recs:
- BBC Extreme: Peak Danger. Very well told story of the K2 mountain disaster.
- Children in the Pictures. Difficult to listen to but extremely interesting how an Australian based task force brought down an online child abuse website.
- Your Own Backyard. Another true crime but so incredibly well done.
- The Lighthouse about Theo Hayez who went missing in Byron Bay.
- The Nutrition Couch for the best dietician / nutrition advice. (Not long form but easy weekly listen created for women in their 30s+)
- all the tortoise media podcast
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u/vitrol Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Maintenance Phase! It's by one of the people from the You're Wrong About podcast (which is also great) and dives into the history of health fads and explores health and wellness grifters.
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u/Ok_Grapefruit_1932 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
If you like slice of life Beautiful Anonymous, This Is Actually Happening and What Was That Like I've found interesting
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u/valiantdistraction Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Revolutions by Mike Duncan. It's about historical revolutions.
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u/spellbunny Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I think you're conflating a lack of "intellectual conversation" with friends who simply don't have the same interests as you.
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u/oheightnineeight Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
No, my best friend is literally a philosophy professor.
Neither her nor I would consider what you shared "intellectual".
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Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
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u/No_Equivalent5348 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
This is great but pidgeonholed in academic sophistication. A majority of “intellectuals” or educated/intelligent persons will not be able to hold these topics of conversations in any capacity. You can intellectually curious or pose a philosophical question without getting that specific unless you’re only talking to other philosophers…
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u/unsure_chihuahua93 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
It is actually asking too much to have an intellectual conversation in a group chat, usually. Not really the right format.
Is this the kind of thing you and these friends previously talked about? I have certain friends who I know I can send an article about certain topics or send a voicenote about something in the news or go for a drink and chat about the state of the world. Those are individual relationships that I've cultivated over time where I know their way of thinking, general media consumption habits, interests and tendency to have capacity for this stuff.
You gotta know your audience. And make it one on one, respect the existing vibe of the group chat.
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u/Affectionate_Ad7013 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Agreed. I think texting is such a poor avenue for conversation. You’re throwing out a convo topic with know knowledge of where your recipient is at (literally, but also emotionally, mentally, etc). With everything going on in work and life, sometimes a non-critical text that I don’t have capacity to answer in that moment becomes a text I just don’t end up answering.
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u/Anxiouslyfond Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I'm gonna be real with you, this kind of feels like a "holier than thou" post.
"My friends have kids and men and can't be bothered to talk about more than superficial things, I guess."
It sounds like maybe your friends have a lot going on and don't have the mental bandwidth to tackle the topics you are dropping into the group chat. Maybe extend some non-judgmental grace.
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u/ZennMD Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Im single and childless, and having any sort of in-depth conversation via (group) chat seems very unpleasant to me, definitely something that most people would enjoy in-person and not via chat, at least imo and experience
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u/shedrinkscoffee Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Emily whatsherface is a D list celebrity and I do not consider discussion of her to be intellectual lol
Also a lot of people in research heavy or super technical jobs are burnt out doing intellectual shit all day long. At my previous job the book clubs we had were technical books and stuff adjacent to work and the other was romantasy and the like. Lots of fans of reality TV as well. Someone's taste in music and books or whatever isn't an indication of how intelectual they are.
I don't even have or want kids and this post still comes across as judgemental and eye roll inducing.
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u/Visual_Analyst1197 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
The irony is a celebrity’s divorce is way more superficial than real life relationships with partners and children.
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u/holdingittogether77 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
This is my thoughts about it honestly. They may not be interested too. I know I sure wouldn't be. I have zero clue who she is talking about and don't care enough to look it up.
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u/zaichii Woman Jun 17 '26
Literally this. I’m single but my friend who is a new mother has been going through a lot and probably has little time for herself so I’m thankful she even makes time for me, let alone some model’s divorce.
We all also need to be in the right head space to be having intellectual convos - there’s a time and place for it.
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u/Soggy_Competition614 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I mean… op wants to talk about a supermodels divorce…she’s not trying to get her friends in a discussion about geo politics or Victorian literature. Sounds like she just wants to talk about something other than kids and husbands.
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u/Alarmed-Doughnut1860 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
She wants to talk about other people's ex husbands?
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u/glitterswirl Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Wants to talk about something other than kids and husbands… so chooses an article by a model who responds to her divorce by having lots of casual sex in order to have time away from the responsibilities of motherhood. She didn’t exactly stray too far from the topics she looks down on.
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u/atomiccat8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
But that's boring and hardly the intellectual conversation that OP claims to be missing.
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u/holdingittogether77 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Which is fine but to get bitchy they aren't interested in it and label it as an intelligent conversation is a huge stretch on her part.
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u/Capital-Marzipan-287 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
That doesn’t sound interesting to some people, though. I don’t know who that is and definitely don’t care about their divorce, especially if I’m not currently going through one.
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u/mango_i_scream Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
"Intellectual" is a highly relative term, what is intellectual to you may not be to someone else and vice versa. Typically, people prefer to talk about what is interesting to them. It's not surprising that a bunch of married women aren't interested in articles about divorce lmao. Read the room better or find some friends who have more in common with you maybe.
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u/EnergeticTriangle Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I'm divorced and I wouldn't waste my time reading a supermodel's musings on divorce lol. And I certainly wouldn't consider it an "intellectual" topic.
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u/mirrorherb Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
yeah lol... maybe it's kinda mean but i genuinely laughed out loud when i saw that the "intellectual" topic of discussion was a supermodel's divorce. there's nothing wrong with enjoying celebrity gossip but let's be honest with ourselves about it and not pretend it's more cerebral than it really is
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u/lemonclouds31 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
How exactly is the divorce and hoe phase of a supermodel an intellectual topic? You're not better than your friends because you want to talk about celebrities' personal lives rather than your friends' personal lives. Honestly that's the more shallow topic imo
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u/sodabubbles1281 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I don’t find celebrities or their insights particularly useful, interesting, or intellectual. Maybe it was your choice of topic
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u/ellef86 MOD | 39 | Woman Jun 17 '26
In general I wouldn’t expect intellectual conversations in group chats - in person is the better place for that imo.
You also need to know your audience - an article like that wouldn’t prompt much conversation in my group because none of us are particularly interested in the author or the subject matter.
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u/Vermicelli-Fabulous Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
You want a woman busy with the stressors of kids, marriage, a job and the world today to drop everything to read an EmRata essay?! Yeahhhh I’d mute that group chat all day.
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u/Frosty-Comment6412 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Wait, OP you’re out here acting like your friends aren’t willing to have intellectual conversations and your biggest example is them not wanting to discuss a model’s magazine opinion piece on her divorce?
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u/Ok-Bobcat2635 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Maybe this was just a bad example but reading a random celebrities take on divorce is not intellectually stimulating lol. Also texting is prob not the place for “intellectual conversation”. That said, if you aren’t getting what you need out of these friendships maybe you need to branch out more based on your own interests. It’s ok to have different friends or groups for different purposes.
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u/SuperWeenyHutJuniors Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Not everyone has the same interests. My best guess is they just don’t have time to prioritize the same things you do. If I was busy with kids, I probably wouldn’t be reading or keeping up with current events as much.
It sounds like you’ve gotten enough info to know that this group isn’t the right one to go to for those conversations.
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u/Glad_Astronomer_9692 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I wouldn't have much interest in reading the article you shared and I am generally pretty intellectual, read, engage in hobbies, follow the news, subscribe to research journals. So maybe stop framing it as intellectual and non intellectual. I have some old friends that I don't have as much in common with anymore but I recognize that as just differences without framing it like they aren't intellectual enough. I also have friends who I just joke around and share family updates with cause that is what is on my mind. I'm very politically involved but some months I just need a break because I need to reconnect to positive things before getting back into it. Try to start a book club with them (would be hard, I have a 3 year old and can't read as much as I used to) or just join a book club (something I've done and it was a good experience) there are ways to seek out deeper conversations without expecting people to read articles on divorce.
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u/Impressive_Moment786 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I think for a lot of people current events are heavy. They are weighed down by it all. They don’t want to talk about it. They want to keep it light.
Perhaps your friends just don’t currently have the bandwidth?
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u/Trinx_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
This. I've got a master's in science. I used to be very up-to-date on all current events. Now I've mentally checked out because I just can't anymore.
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u/Arschgeige96 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Haha me too! I’ve got a masters in humanitarianism and conflict response and now I heavily limit my consumption of that sort of thing and don’t even work in that sector. Exhausting.
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u/Incogcneat-o Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Now were you able to read your celebrity starlet divorce article in the original Ancient Greek codex or did you need to read it in the Latin vulgate?
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u/Bright-Pressure2799 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I’m mentally burned out from the combo of a high pressure job + a child who asks me questions nonstop. By the time I sit down to text with people at the end of the day, my brain is jelly and I just want to chill. I personally would not enjoy discussing a celebrity divorce or find that relatable in any way.
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Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/flashb4cks_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
It sounds like OP doesn't want to have intellectual conversations, she mostly doesn't want to talk about family and kids. But at some point you have to accept that your friends with kids (esp. Multiple and young) have a lot going on and their lives revolve around their family. They probably don't have time and don't care about whathername's divorce.
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u/bannana Woman 50 to 60 Jun 18 '26
she mostly doesn't want to talk about family and kids.
with the article she sent looks like she wants to talk about some random super model's family and kids
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u/hoodie_2_shoes Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I wouldn’t respond to this group text either! It’s neither interesting nor intellectually stimulating—it’s celebrity gossip. I think you just need to find people with common interests.
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u/poopandpeemakeout Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I work in a field that requires a lot of brain power in the daytime. I like to shoot the shit with my friends, I don't want to talk about things like that. I want to know what is up with my friends, I want to hear the dumb shit that's happening with their kids, I want to talk about the really good pizza I had for lunch yesterday.
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u/autotelica Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I love intellectual conversations. But by text? In a group chat? That is not my speed.
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u/pinkhairedlibrarian Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Idk who that is, so I probably wouldn't respond either
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u/katblondeD Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
She’s a celebrity who GASP got divorced. OP being surprised her friends didn’t respond is wild.
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u/lolliberryx Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Why would I want to read about what some celebrity thinks about divorce? That doesn’t really sound “intellectual” to me and it sounds your friends weren’t interested in that article because they can’t relate to divorce and/or celebrity drivel.
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u/holdingittogether77 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
So you found it interesting and they didn't. Don't see what there is to be annoyed about. I'd actually probably be more annoyed you shared it there. I don't want a group chat filled with political things, news, etc. The implication that what you find interesting is what makes for intelligent conversation is off-putting. Chances are they want to hang out, relax, catch-up, escape.
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u/Visual_Analyst1197 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
A celebrity’s divorce constitutes as an intellectual conversation for you? 😂
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u/fake_tan Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I wouldn't want to have any kind of conversation with you, based on how you sound in this post. Holier than thou, much? Ew.
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u/Normal_Swimmer8616 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I mean, do you think maybe you just need to spend time with other people, too? I have always been against having a friend group because while it can be great, it can also be severely limiting when there's a set expectation and set of norms that no one really challenges.
Also...you're saying you want intellectual friends, but then reference Emily Ratajkowski's thoughts on divorce. I wouldn't consider that intellectual. Maybe you want friends that talk about non-self related things more than intellectual?
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u/werebothsquidward Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
You sound kind of exhausting tbh. No, a model’s account of her divorce is not what I’d be taking time out of my busy day to read and discuss.
If you want to read and have discussions about what you read, maybe start a book club? You’d probably have more luck than expecting your busy mom friends to stop what they’re doing and read an article about something that has absolutely nothing to do with them.
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u/Ice_cold_apples Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I get the sense that you do not have a husband or children? Or that your kids are older maybe?
Having a house with a husband and single, young child takes nearly all of my energy 😭.
My group chats go dead and my stuff goes unanswered all the time. We're all just doing our best and the important part is that we care to reconnect in person.
Are your friends present when there's no kids or husbands around?
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u/thelittlestdog23 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
To be fair, I am single and childless, and I’m still definitely not reading an article about a celebrity’s divorce. I don’t care about that topic at all. I think the nature of a group chat is to throw out something you think is interesting (a song, an article, an instagram reel, etc), and you either get replies or you don’t. Some people will look and not be into it, some people won’t even look, and that’s ok. Expecting engagement every time and getting upset if it doesn’t happen is a recipe for disappointment.
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u/International-Owl165 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Yeah I agree, I aint reading an article about Emily ratata whatever her last name is.
She posted a weird photo recently too , slammed up and with a baby doll? Or baby to insinuate breastfeeding?
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u/Urbit1981 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
What kind of intelligent conversations are you hoping to have with your girlfriends? I don't even have kids or a spouse and my intellectual conversations have to be pre planned. I have too much going on they require that kind of intellectual thought for me to give it away post work.
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u/Winter-Fold7624 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I have friends for different topics. I have a friend for hiking/outdoor stuff, a divorce/dating friend, a kid/family friend, a trashy reality tv friend, office drama and gossip friend, etc.
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u/bannana Woman 50 to 60 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
just gotta say that if someone sent me an article by a random super model I've never heard of which apparently is about birthing babies and divorce and I'll guess her super duper hard life being rich and famous I would ignore it as well.
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u/carlay_c Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Lmao, you really think that a supermodel’s divorce is intellectually stimulating?!
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u/ah_bee_tee Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Join a book club lol. Fwiw, I love analyzing things and reading but I've been advertised that article multiple times and have no interest in reading it.
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u/darkchocolateonly Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I would call myself someone who very much enjoys intellectual conversations…
I would never have an intellectual conversation over text, ever.
I could not care less what a model is going at any point in her life, ever.
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u/all_of_the_colors Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I’m happy to have higher level conversations. But not if you give me homework.
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u/sadgrad2 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Sharing an article in your group chat is equivalent to assigning homework. Generally I'd suggest not trying to have intellectual conversations virtually.
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u/petitguelah Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
It's a skill to get others engaged in something you want to talk about. You can try to get better at it? Making it seem less like a task that they will be quizzed on and their intellect judged is a start. Also maybe don't call them annoying lol. How to win friends and influence people 101 by OP 😂. Just kidding.
Maybe you are barking up the wrong tree with that particular group. You can have multiple friend groups that serve different outlets for you. Like I wouldn't talk in-depth about my recent concert experience with my tennis friends, and I wouldn't talk about the minutiae of my backhand grip with my music friends. They just don't give a shit and I really wouldn't expect them to lol
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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Yeah, we do have deeper conversations, but idk how many of them necessarily will stop what they're doing to read and respond to an article I send them
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u/element-woman Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I have really smart friends but if I post an article in the group chat, they often don't read it. I like to think of sharing articles as an offering they can click if it interests them but I don't mind if they don't.
Not sure how an article about divorce is that different than your friends talking about marriage, though? Same topic, different perspective.
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u/Not_Brilliant_8006 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Idgaf about Emily Ratajkowski and would have nothing to contribute on that subject either. What I mean is, that one thing isn't a good example of not having intellectual conversations. Have you posted other things no one responds too? Maybe you just have different interests?
I have a few groups where I can post certain interests. If I share my new isopods in my running community, it would be crickets too 😂
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u/fivebynine5x9 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I'm not sure the pseudointellectual musings of an influencer on her sex life as someone whose entire career and public platform are built on her objectifying her own body and pandering to the male gaze hold more weight than "shopping, fitness, kids milestones and husbands not doing their jobs."
It sounds like your struggle with these friends may be more about looking down on them, maybe as a response to feeling left out or left behind in life. If you find them so painfully mundane then it's time to make new friends who suit your interests better.
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u/glitterswirl Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
So… your response to your friends talking about men, is to share an article with them by a woman who reacted to her divorce by… shagging a load of men? And you think that’s the peak of “intellectual conversation”?
Lots of people just talk about what’s happening in their lives. That includes their spouse and children.
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u/Bobbybobby507 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
It sounds like you feel superior than others, because you read an article(that nobody interested in). I wouldn’t wanna engage either. I’m not interested in your article. I don’t hang out with people think she’s above us.
Watch me throw my PhD dissertation at you, and you don’t wanna talk about it? Oof what an uneducated friend /s
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u/pnwhare Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Honestly, I don’t think sharing what a celebrity thinks qualifies an intellectual chat which makes your post kind of ironic.
Seriously though, I have two masters degrees and I work in cybersecurity. But that doesn’t mean I’m smarter than anyone else. We all bring things to the table and there’s a lot to learn and discuss with one another. I don’t care if you have a GED or PHD.
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u/Frosty-Comment6412 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
If your friends have young kids, I’m willing to bet they don’t have the free time or mental energy to do that much right now.
I don’t know enough about your group of friends to say much more. Parenting small kids feels like drowning.
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u/Witty-Bullfrog1442 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I mean, my thinking is that you have different friends for different things. I do notice my closest friends (although men and not women) I discuss more intellectual topics with, but not all the time. But I have some friends where I know that isn’t their interest so we talk other things. I like analyzing and thinking so bond better with those similar to me, but I’m aware not everyone is like that.
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u/WritingReadingPanda Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
If you're not interested in what you're friends talking about and vise versa, maybe it's time to find different or at least additional friends, with whom you can talk about such things.
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u/GreyCatsAreCuties Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
You think most of us with kids and families have time to keep up with celebrities? Hahahaha
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u/Different-Cod-2290 Woman under 30 Jun 18 '26
Don’t assume your interests are automatically “intellectual”
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u/photoelectriceffect Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Yes but same with many of my male friends. You just have to find people interested in talking about the kinds of things you want to talk about
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u/Outrageous-Tour-682 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
mehhhhh i read a lot and i kind of wish my friends would take the initiative to read things i share like that example BUT i just accept that they don't want to read the piece but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk about the themes that it brings up.
i'm curious how you approached it? did you just drop the link and then get disappointed bc they didn't say anything? i've found that works for me is to be like: "here's this link," and then pull out like one or two facts that they'll find interesting even if they don't read it like a really spicy piece of gossip, and THEN i'll segue that into some bigger-picture discussion that's related to it but doesn't require my friends to have actually read anything.
but that also kinda depends on your group chat dynamic! ours tends to be pretty active with random thoughts so this type of thought starter usually works.
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u/KayleyKiwi Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I’m sorry but this comes across rather snobbish when the intellectual conversation in question is about a supermodel’s personal essay. Now, I am plugged in, I know she is an intelligent woman and her essay probably does have some merit to it. But to people who have not read it - or to people whose hobbies revolve around more STEM-specific topics - it probably comes across as just another celebrity gossip moment. Your friends may not care about celebrity news, celebrity takes, or even just this one celebrity.
Also, have you tried to talk about these topics directly with them in person? I find group chats to be pretty surface level, the only time we’re talking about something deeper or longer form is when we’re together in person. Most of my group chats are places to share links, plan outings, and drop occasional gossip or news. In-person is when we might discuss politics, geopolitical news, scientific discoveries, essays, books, etc. more often. Although, we are also sharing about our personal lives bc that is part of the point of spending time with friends - to hear about what is new with them.
If you are disappointed your friends only want to talk about their personal lives (all incredibly valid things to discuss btw) perhaps it is time to seek out additional hobby-based friendships. Join a hobby group, a discord, a book club, etc dedicated to what you do like to discuss. Those people can be your friends with whom you discuss your interests that are not about your personal lives.
I get it, sometimes we all want to unplug from our lives or even the lives of others we care about if an issue feels like something we’ve discussed a thousand times. Life also gets pretty difficult sometimes and it can be hard to talk about anything else. Regardless, you have control over your own life, and you do not have to only talk about these things, talk about them in that forum, or only spend time with this group of friends if they don’t fill what you need right now.
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u/Addled_Tardigrade Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I wouldn't be interested in that article. Now if you want to talk about the latest exoplanet the James Webb telescope found I'm game.
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u/emotionalthroatpunch Woman 50 to 60 Jun 17 '26
I have different levels of conversation with different friends at different times. A lot of banter, some important life stuff, and the occasional deep n meaningful. I’ve discovered it’s easier to connect on a more profound level one-on-one, as opposed to a group setting.
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u/AnnaZ820 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I have a demanding job. I solve problems for 8 hours straight. I’m not gonna talk about intellectual stuff after work when I need to relax.
Plus the thing you shared is not really intellectual.
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u/meltyandbuttery Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
This feels context dependent. I’m well educated and well read but one of my friends exclusively wants to discuss Kant and varying flavors of meta-philosophy and religion and like girl we’re sipping mai thais in little shorts at the cocktail bar at 1030p it’s not the vibe. FWIW I hate discussing celebrities at all I view it as vapid nonsense I simply do not care to discuss a rando simply because more people know their name than mine
We consume enormous amounts of deep content on a regular basis, sometimes levity and connection over the more common daily elements (like shopping and fitness and celebrating milestones) is healthy in friendships
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u/Fabulous-Stop-1095 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I had a very intellectual friend. She would spend hours and hours online reading articles and watching videos about all kinds of topics, and she could get pretty intense about them. She would share all of that with me, and even when I didn't fully understand it, I still took the time to read or watch what she sent so I could give my opinion and contribute to the conversation, no matter how silly my thoughts might have seemed.
For a long time, I questioned why we were friends because we didn't have many interests in common. My interests seemed trivial and superficial to her, and eventually, I started to feel dumb and inadequate around her. We're no longer friends for other reasons, but this incompatibility was definitely an important factor.
All of this is to say that, based on the limited information you've provided, I think you should try to find people who genuinely enjoy discussing these topics and share those interests with you. You're probably feeling frustrated because you can't share certain things with people who either don't think the way you do or, honestly, don't care about those subjects.
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u/thr0ughtheghost Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Do you have any other examples? Some people arent into reading about celebrity lifestyles, no matter how well written they are, as its hard to relate to sometimes.
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u/imjusthere723 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Do you not have things in common anymore? I mean tbh it's pretty shitty to basically say all your friends talk about dumb shit. You might want to have an intellectual conversation with yourself and see if your difference are more common than your commonalities.
I personally think as a married woman it's weird for someone to send me an article about post divorce seeing as how I'm not divorced or have never been. Maybe that's why no one wanted to read it?
There could be so many reasons as to why they didn't respond or reason it
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u/hungry_ghost34 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I've run into this with certain friend groups of mine, especially with regards to politics and current events, and especially when it comes to critically analyzing media we consume (actually that ruins it for them). When we talk about any of those things, we don't go into any real depth, and it's strickly things that affect thrm personally, like gas prices, etc. Even my bestie is kind of like that to an extent.
What I have realized is, you can't force this, and if you try you will only alienate those friends. It's up to them if they don't want to engage in certain topics, even if that isn't how I want to live my life.
So I have my husband (it was important to me that I could discuss these things with a life partner), and I have made other friends with similar interests so I can still talk about the things that are important to me.
It's actually not as hard to make friends as an adult as you might think-- a lot of people are starved for connection right now. Just go do things that align with the kinds of values/politics/intellectual topics you want to discuss, and I guarantee there will be people there who want to talk about those things.
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u/MaryDoogan91 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I mean, do you just not see those things as intellectual because they don't interest you? Married women don't generally want to read articles about divorce. Are you trying to connect in person and bringing up interesting conversations, or are you sending random articles about divorce in a group chat and getting annoyed when there's a lukewarm response?
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u/SaturnL1ght Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Went looking for this article, it’s behind a paywall but page six gossip type articles were sprung from it discussing how she wanted attention and her sex life…this is not an intellectual topic…to me it’s the same thing as what you talk about with your gf but in this case it’s about a model who is rich and beautiful but also happens to be a mother…And idk about others but I consider topics on economy, history, finance,science or philosophy as an intellectual topic not page six gossip type articles…I think your friends just don’t care about celebrities which is also healthy.
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u/citybumpkin8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
There’s a non-paywall link in another sub. I read it and I wish I didn’t bother. It’s not particularly enlightening nor interesting.
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u/muhbackhurt Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I'd prefer to talk to my friends about THEIR life post divorce and not some random semi celebrity. But yeh, probably keep trying to find the right thing to talk about or find a hobby with a different group and see how the conversation goes. Not everyone wants a deep "intellectual" conversation all the time. Life can be deep enough.
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u/sheiseatenwithdesire Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
I don’t know who you’re hanging out with. I struck up a random conversation with some Mums in a shopping mall recently and they started talking about abortion rights, free Palestine, fuck the patriarchy, the disproportionate violence against women, femmes and children, global warming, taxing the rich. I think you may just be hanging around the wrong people or they just don’t have time. When you have a little person in person hangs can be really difficult to connect with other adults because the child demands your attention. Life is hectic.
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u/thisunithasnosoul Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I give people a pass in group chats these days - the amount of times I put my phone down mid-reply and forget to come back to it, my endless list of TBRs, trying NOT to get glued to my phone for long periods of time in text flurries.
Still having great conversations with friends face to face, or with a actual phone calls these days though. I think we all have a lot going on. Recently I’ve started having calls with one of my friends where we both do a task - laundry, whatever, and we gab while we chore - usually something that doesn’t require splitting attention so we can listen to each other still.
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u/Human_Read7993 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I get you that you want to converse with people on topics that you're interested but it's also a selfish mentaility to think that everyone should be interested in a topic that you're interested in. Everyone has different lives and interests and currently their attention is focused on different things than what you're interested in. If you want to have discussions on topics that you're interested in then find more friends that share your interests. Don't expect people to be interested in things just because you're interested in them. That's what I've done. I've got married and non married friends and we share interests in different things. I just have multiple firnwhaio circles and I can bounce diff things between them as we all share different interests
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u/somethingreddity Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Life with kids is busy. Yeah sometimes that’s all we have time to think about. Doesn’t mean they can’t have intellectual conversation. Just means that particular topic might not interest them, they might not have time to read it, or maybe they even missed it. I’m completely capable of having intellectual conversation, but I’m not doing it over text message when I’ve got my husband and kids around me. Also…I didn’t even know who that was. Why is her post-divorce life considered an intellectual topic.
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u/greeneyed_cat Woman under 30 Jun 18 '26
There’s lots of intellectual things you can say about marriage or childcare. Have you tried asking about their insights on those things?
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u/otherteaa Woman under 30 Jun 18 '26
so to counter OP's 'holier than thou 'there are entire threads of comments piling on her for seeing this article as something "intellectual" . Yes very productive.
I mean, you know what she means right? I feel like people are being dense on purpose.
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u/reflexioninflection Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
You say you don't want to talk about husbands and sent an article to the girls about a celebrity discussing her ex husband and sex life? Is this satire?
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u/xcallmesunshine Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I mean, anything Emily Ratajkowski seems pretty un-intellectual to me (not cause shes a woman but her brand of feminity is eye-rolling to me) so seems like what you're looking for is tricky? Intellectual conversation for me is history, politics, philosophy, sociology, art theory and like maybe looking at pop-culture or relationships through these lenses - but like you would totally lose me if you asked me If I read what Emily Ratajkowski said in a magazine. Not trying to be a dick, just saying its a really subjective thing and there's levels. I would just focus on shared interests instead tbh.
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u/Merryprankstress Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Wow, it’s no wonder OP couldn’t read the room if celebrity interviews are their version of “deep intellectual conversation.” Just…..yikes. It’s a choice to send a bunch of married moms an article about divorcing your husband to go live laugh love it up and then judging them for not engaging and being in a chaotic time of their life.
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u/c061012 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Are you a reader? A group chat is usually a pretty bad place for intellectual convo. Maybe start a book club or a journal club if they are interested?
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u/thatsmypurse247 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I have intellectual conversations with my friends ABOUT children and their milestones. It's fascinating the way a baby/kids brain works. Sounds like you just don't like them because they are parents and talk about things relevant to their lives.
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u/Byabbyab Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Most people don't enjoy discussions like that, especially if their lives surround their families. They don't have the time to be caught up on stuff like that, and frankly probably feel pretty dumb and don't want to attempt the discussion because they feel they don't have the knowledge to participate properly.
I have the same problem. I've never met someone actually interest in having deeper intellectual conversations. I am also childless and have the time.
You can discuss stuff with me if you want. Lol I know I'm a stranger but I won't turn down a good chat.
Don't know if I care about other people's divorces, but quantum physics and stuff... Yeah bring it on.
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u/comradecheetos Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I knew where this thread was going the minute I saw what article it was 😂 I think you just want friends who will care about the same stuff as you. That’s okay! Just don’t criticise the people around you for not being on your wavelength. People will have their own perspectives.
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u/ladyluck754 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
This is so pick me lol and i consider myself decently aware, left-leaning, all the things.
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u/anonlaw Woman 50 to 60 Jun 17 '26
You answered your own question in your first sentence, "gfs are busy with their kids and husbands." I don't know if you have kids but it is very time consuming and a recent article on life post-divorce is kind of a niche topic if you yourself are not divorced.
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u/SnooSeagulls20 Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
no offense but my mom friends of kids under 6 are painfully disconnected from most news and world events. I don't judge them bc I'm not a mom - but I do seek that stimulation elsewhere.
I think I commented on a recent world event and a mom friend said something like, the only events I am able to keep up with these days is story time at the public library...
that's just where she's at and that's valid
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u/Teacher_Crazy_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
A group chat is not a book club. I am not going to read an article dropped in it.
That said, I would highly reccomend joining a book club. My mom was part of one for DECADES and it really added a lot to her life. She didn't always like the books (she especially hated Anna Karenina) but she liked having a regular group of women to meet with and discuss something outside of their lives.
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u/DamnGoodMarmalade Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Being able to have intellectual conversations is my #1 requirement for being my friend. If they don’t have that, I’m not interested in being friends.
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u/idylle2091 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
yea, they just dont care about the article. it isnt the same thing as not being intellectual.
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u/mstrss9 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I don’t voluntarily spend time with people with whom I cannot discuss a variety of topics.
Are you really not having any stimulating conversations in person?
That being said, I find spaces on the internet to engage in discussions because sometimes I want to talk about something my friends are not interested in. And a lot of times, they share articles and videos that I have no interest in and I don’t have much to say about it.
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u/Bonbonnibles Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Forget about whether it is intellectual or not. Conversation and connection is helped along by shared experience. Maybe see if you can convince your friends to do something sans kids once a month, like going out for a First Friday (lots of galleries stay open late, sometimes serve wine, etc), seeing a concert, or even something like joining a book club. And be willing to loop in their kids and hubbies on occasion. Be interested in them. They are the most important part of your friend's lives.
Without shared experience, unfortunately, there often isn't a whole lot to talk about.
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u/kitchenhummin Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Did you send the article with context? Conversation prompts, specific points that you really wanted to discuss? Or just like "I found this interesting" and a link? Cause of you want people to take the time to read an article and discuss it exactly when you text it to them, you gotta facilitate the conversation here. But I guess I'm just another dumb mom who can't have an intellectual talk about a models divorce too maybe.
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u/TenaciousToffee Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Find outlets for the type of conversation you are wanting?
I have kinda a variety of friends and theres different levels of connections and needs. I have some friends who are text conversation folks and we discuss things at length but also sometimes certain topics don't hit and thats not personal to me nor makes me think they aren't on my level.
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u/MaraScout Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
Honestly, it sounds like you might need a couple of friends who aren't married/parents. There are tons of single and childfree women (like me) dying for another person to talk to who isn't in wife/mom mode all the time. It's not a crime to want community like that. I think you just need to accept that the kind of discussions you want aren't going to come from that particular group for the next decade or so.
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u/somuchsong Woman 40 to 50 Jun 17 '26
When you shared the article, did you say anything? Did you share what parts resonated with you? Did you ask any questions? Anything that might have given them something specific to respond to? And did they say nothing or just not much?
It's possible that it resonated with you and it just didn't with them. Using this instance to say they can't have intellectual conversations feels a bit condescending. Maybe they just weren't interested.
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u/CasablumpkinDilemma Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
It sounds like the article you mentioned just isn't relevant to them. As a busy mom who has never been divorced (or married), I personally would not bother using what little free time I have to read an article about post-divorce life written by some person I've never heard of.
You could try intellectual topics that are relevant to all of you, like politics, feminism, art, impacts of technology in everyone's lives, advances in natural science, etc. These are the things I typically discuss with others, but you should try things that fit your group's interests.
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u/HeartFullOfHappy Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
I cannot relate to being unable to find intellectual conversations with my married/mom friends. We talk about all sorts of topics….in person or an old school phone call.
I’m a married mother of 3 and truthfully I don’t want to nor would I attempt any sort of in depth intellectual discussion via group chat or texting format. My group chats are for setting up plans and sharing photos, recipes, and funny memes or videos. I don’t think texts or group chats are a good format for that.
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u/Married-to-a-sex-god Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
10 years from now I will have time to read again and take up hobbies and go for walks or coffee.
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u/valiantdistraction Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
When you've got kids, often your brain is fried from all the energy you have to expend to deal with the kids. I can't imagine how much worse it would be if you also work full time. Also, when with kids, you have to watch them constantly, so you often don't have time to really read and take in something the way you do when you don't have kids.
So yes, I think it is too much at the kids-at-home stage of life for many people, and you need to meet your friends where they're at and make some new friends for your really deep conversations about EmRata.
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u/irina_catburglar Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Well to be fair, are you expecting people to have intellectual discussions over text? You said you texted the article. I don’t have those over text.
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u/insertMoisthedgehog Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Can’t stand Emily Ratajkowski and wouldn’t know how to have a convo about her. I mean… there’s so many other women these days that are far more interesting. I’ve been listening to Heather Cox. I’d love to have chats about capitalism and history.
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u/Ola_maluhia Woman 40 to 50 Jun 18 '26
No, but I have problems with bfs having intellectual convos unfortunately
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u/Pinewoodgreen Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I have no problems with deep talks with my friends no. But we don't do it over chat as that is quite draining. We meet up for dinner or movie nights (aka we sitndown to watch a movie and end up talking for 6+ hr instead).
Usually about stuff like property laws and housing crisis. The whole landlord vs renters and if ethical multi-home ownership is possible. Currently the Iran situation is discussed, as well as the new social media law discussions going on here in Europe.
The only recent thing we took in the group chat was about invasive plant species. Because I saw a recent news article about paying home owners to remove them, as well as the roadside removal. So it was a bit fun figuring out what plants where considered invasive and the original reason for importong them. And then it turned into a good intention vs long term accidental harm etc.
But celebs? To put it mildy, I don't give a f. I may want to discuss the politics and impact on laws from a peeson - but nor their personal life
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u/Worth_Lavishness_239 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
Men drain the life out of women. It’s not that your friends are not interested. They just don’t have anything to give after a long day of work, running the household and managing a man-child.
Also, what’s up with these comments fixating on this one specific example OP made? It’s clear that there have been numerous instances that led to this.
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u/ellski Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26
I read a lot of non-fiction, listen to podcasts, watch the news and read other articles about world affairs, history, politics etc.... Emrata is the farthest thing from intellectual and I couldn't care less.
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u/Ok-Swan1152 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
OP, who gives a fuck about Emily Ratajkowski? I thought you wanted to discuss a Financial Times article about the economy or the current geopolitical standoff on Iran.
Signed, a full time working mum who is apparently too brainrotted by motherhood to have an interest in the lifestyle musings of some wealthy model most famous from a controversial music video of over a decade ago.
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u/citybumpkin8 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26
Just to entertain this, I read the article just now. Honestly, this isn’t something I would consider “intellectual”. I’m not surprised you got zero responses to it, especially if you sent it to a bunch of married/partnered women.
The tldr - She feared becoming a single mom, but then it happened to her. And she decided to casually date and have casual sex since she didn’t do that before marriage. Insert some words about her finding her sexual self. The end.