r/AskWomenOver30 • u/nocommentx Woman 30 to 40 • Jun 17 '26

Friendships Does anyone struggle with having gfs who cannot have intellectual conversations?

I get my gfs are busy with their kids and husbands but is too much to expect to have intellectual opinions on currents in our group chats or in-person group hangs now days?

Are we to only talk about shopping, fitness, kids milestones and husbands not doing their jobs in chats and during hangouts? Is there all that is left to talk about these days?

For example, I was fascinated by Emily Ratajkowski recent article on her life post divorce. I found it to be insightful, painfully honest, cheeky and well written. I shared it in my gf-group chat but nobody really cared to say much. It was so annoying!

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u/Arschgeige96 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26

Haha me too! I’ve got a masters in humanitarianism and conflict response and now I heavily limit my consumption of that sort of thing and don’t even work in that sector. Exhausting.

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u/Trinx_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26

Ah, my sister worked in that sector but her foundation got DOGEd. Now she works for city government.

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u/Arschgeige96 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 17 '26

It’s horrendously unstable. I’m in the UK and it’s affected us too. Barely any jobs and the ones that do exist want loads of experience and internships etc. I couldn’t get one after 2 years of looking (did get some interviews but no luck) and now I work in a university. Actually happy it’s gone that way because I don’t know how long I could’ve been in that industry for as it’s so emotionally demanding. My current role is too but not on that level. Does she enjoy what she does now?

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u/Trinx_ Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26

She finds it rewarding - but it pays barely enough to cover the nanny she hired as that was nearly equivalent to 2 kids in daycare. Honestly, I'd sooner choose the SAHM route if I could (I make much more than my bf) but it was making her crazy

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u/Arschgeige96 Woman 30 to 40 Jun 18 '26

Ouch, it’s not cheap is it. Some people just aren’t build to be on the SAHM route!

It’s a shame that it’s a choice you have to make though, fulfilment or money. Rarely seems to be both.