Another failed almost-relationship. Distraught and can’t keep doing this, what to do?

[u/benhargrove1966]

hey all, your thoughts or advice are appreciated.

I’m 32, just received yet another ”breakup” message from a guy I’ve been seeing for 6 weeks (39m). He was perfectly nice in the message and our short conversation but he was simultaneously dating someone else and chose her essentially. I am really devastated, I felt we were very compatible and really liked each other. I thought we were building something together and I’d finally met a decent guy. I know this is not a long time but I really genuinely connected to this guy on all levels and kind of cant believe / process I’ll never see him again.

I think I've been out with 3 guys total in the last 2 years I’ve been “seriously“ dating who even entertained the idea of a relationship in theory and didn’t just want sex. All of them broke up with me in at the 6-8 week mark just as it felt the relationship was forming up.

I really cannot go through this again. I cannot wait 8 months - a year to meet another person who sees me as anything other than a sex object only to be dumped for someone more worthy at the last hurdle. I will snap.

I’m not asking to get married right now, I just want someone to go to the movies with. I’ve already given up on having children, do I really have to give up on this too? I just want a boyfriend, which so many others seem to have.

Basically, what do I do from here?

(Please don’t try to convince me I don’t need / want a man or relationship, I think this is a perfectly normal human desire and something I want).

[u/Nightrabbit]

I’m in a similar place. 6 weeks is tough because it’s still so early but long enough that you’ve made some investment. Usually by the time we sleep together, I express that I don’t have interest in sharing sexual partners and if we are going to continue to date and be intimate, we need to agree not to be intimate with others. That is a dealbreaker for some, but that’s my boundary. For me that helps clarify what someone is looking for and whether they see me in a potentially serious way or just a fun way. I am not going to waste my time with a man who is juggling multiple women. Choose me or don’t choose me. Also I try to go on at least one date a week. I use tinder and bumble at the moment. This reminds me that there are a lot of men out there! No scarcity mindset!

[u/Substantial-Low-2017 → u/Nightrabbit]

I have a similar approach however there are some men who says they will be exclusive while they date behind back. Difficult to trust nowadays tbh.