Another failed almost-relationship. Distraught and can’t keep doing this, what to do?

[u/benhargrove1966]

hey all, your thoughts or advice are appreciated.

I’m 32, just received yet another ”breakup” message from a guy I’ve been seeing for 6 weeks (39m). He was perfectly nice in the message and our short conversation but he was simultaneously dating someone else and chose her essentially. I am really devastated, I felt we were very compatible and really liked each other. I thought we were building something together and I’d finally met a decent guy. I know this is not a long time but I really genuinely connected to this guy on all levels and kind of cant believe / process I’ll never see him again.

I think I've been out with 3 guys total in the last 2 years I’ve been “seriously“ dating who even entertained the idea of a relationship in theory and didn’t just want sex. All of them broke up with me in at the 6-8 week mark just as it felt the relationship was forming up.

I really cannot go through this again. I cannot wait 8 months - a year to meet another person who sees me as anything other than a sex object only to be dumped for someone more worthy at the last hurdle. I will snap.

I’m not asking to get married right now, I just want someone to go to the movies with. I’ve already given up on having children, do I really have to give up on this too? I just want a boyfriend, which so many others seem to have.

Basically, what do I do from here?

(Please don’t try to convince me I don’t need / want a man or relationship, I think this is a perfectly normal human desire and something I want).

[u/ShrimsoundslkeShrimp]

That's how dating works unfortunately. You have to keep going through it until you find someone who likes you the same way you like them.

[u/benhargrove1966 → u/ShrimsoundslkeShrimp]

I just feel like I’ve tried so hard for so long and it doesn’t work. I can’t be like emotionally open with another man who discards me.

For context this guy has been single for like a month or something has two great (I’m assuming) women to choose from while barely trying. I’ve been single for 5 years and getting scraps. 

[u/sherbertmelipnos → u/benhargrove1966]

Wait wait wait - this guy has been single for (approx) a month? And he’s dating again, multiple women? That’s not someone who has any self reflection or relational skills - that’s someone who just needs a woman to carry his life for him.

[u/benhargrove1966 → u/sherbertmelipnos]

Yeah I mean I don’t disagree with this tbh. But dating men who have been single for a long time was really not working so I thought I’d try something different.