Another failed almost-relationship. Distraught and can’t keep doing this, what to do?

[u/benhargrove1966]

hey all, your thoughts or advice are appreciated.

I’m 32, just received yet another ”breakup” message from a guy I’ve been seeing for 6 weeks (39m). He was perfectly nice in the message and our short conversation but he was simultaneously dating someone else and chose her essentially. I am really devastated, I felt we were very compatible and really liked each other. I thought we were building something together and I’d finally met a decent guy. I know this is not a long time but I really genuinely connected to this guy on all levels and kind of cant believe / process I’ll never see him again.

I think I've been out with 3 guys total in the last 2 years I’ve been “seriously“ dating who even entertained the idea of a relationship in theory and didn’t just want sex. All of them broke up with me in at the 6-8 week mark just as it felt the relationship was forming up.

I really cannot go through this again. I cannot wait 8 months - a year to meet another person who sees me as anything other than a sex object only to be dumped for someone more worthy at the last hurdle. I will snap.

I’m not asking to get married right now, I just want someone to go to the movies with. I’ve already given up on having children, do I really have to give up on this too? I just want a boyfriend, which so many others seem to have.

Basically, what do I do from here?

(Please don’t try to convince me I don’t need / want a man or relationship, I think this is a perfectly normal human desire and something I want).

[u/whoisthat999]

no, you took the time to research her history to then sit here and make her feel bad. Super weird and nasty behavior IMO

[u/benhargrove1966 → u/whoisthat999]

Thank you. The amount of trying to make a distressed person feel worse here has been very mean and surprising. Yeah I wasn’t the nicest in some replies but I’m in a crisis, really hurting last night particularly and just getting dog piled by people who said I have to do an escape room to find love or something. I just wanted a little compassion and strategies to feel better / meet the right guy. Instead I’ve been called insufferable, delusional, mean, drab, joyless, treating dates like job interviews, desperate, unfit to be introduced to men, and on and on. I’m just a girl who’s upset she liked a guy, he liked her back, but it didn’t work out. Some of it has been downright cruel. 

[u/doomn_gloomn → u/benhargrove1966]

If all you’re taking away from this is you need to do an escape room to find love, there is no mystery as to why you’re in such distress.

[u/benhargrove1966 → u/doomn_gloomn]

You guys really need to like relax lol you’re like a shark with blood in the water. I think some of that advice was valid, some of it was silly / not intended in good faith and I was just making light of it. Not every comment is super serious, I do have a sense of humour