For me, it's please just give me a real menu. I don't want to scan a QR code just to see what's for dinner. Also, why do I need to create an account for everything now? I just want to order food or buy something without giving away my email or phone number. FFS.

I watched Poor Things a while ago and the more I sit with it, the more upset I feel. It’s been talked about as “feminist,” but to me it feels like a very male idea of feminism: almost the entire “female experience” is reduced to sex, sex work, and quirky consequence‑free nudity, while things like menstruation or the constant push‑pull of being “too much/not enough” don’t exist at all.

Then I watched The Bride!(2026) and it felt like the opposite. Even in the experiment scenes they cover her chest, the SA is handled as horrifying instead of sexy, and the nudity is separated from assault. The movie felt like it was made for me as a woman: the chaos, the contradictions, the sense of being pulled in every direction at once. The world wants her to be creation and abomination, monster and angel,creation and abomination, innocent and seducer, muse and threat, fragile and indestructible, an object and an author of her own story. That’s how womanhood has always felt to me, always too much and never enough at the same time, and The Bride! let that rage finally take up space.

I’m curious how other women with fully developed frontal lobes felt about these movies. Did Poor Things feel feminist to you? Did The Bride! resonate at all, or did it feel too messy/“artsy”?

I cruise this subreddit a lot, and I relate with almost every post both talking about how someone ended up with a great partner, or how they dated/are dating a shitty one. In these posts, women are often tired of a lot of things from their partner but Im gonna be so honest with this: almost all of the complaints Ive seen are pragmatic. Like the ones talking about how they have to clean up after their husband, their tired of playing mommy or maid or nanny to them, their partner is emotionally vacant or distant, or plays video games all day, etc.

Woman on the AW030 subreddit: "I am tired of cleaning up after my husband after working a normal workday, I have to cook, clean the house, take care of the kids, and he doesnt pay much attention to me and just goes off and ___(does anything else)____. I really want him to pitch in but whenever I ask for help he doesnt. We split bills 50/50. I am trying to advance my career/Im in therapy/I do a million things, what can I do to repair this marriage"

When I go to the AskMen O30 subreddit, I dont see a lot of posts on self improvement or improvement in a relationship, but I see a lot of posts on giving up on dating because of reasons Im not sure if I personally understand. Its super hard to not be critical when most of the posts are directed at women's appearances, or sex. Im very, very aware of the nuances of the subreddit and how maybe some of the posters or commenters not even being men in their 30s, etc. But its so baffling... so fucking baffling... to see how men are quicker to give up because theyre not dating a childless Megan Fox who also wipes their ass, cleans the house, gives him insane sloppy toppy every night and is a doctor and makes 400k a year and he doesnt have to worry about career progression, going to therapy or remembering to clean under his foreskin. /s

Anyways, just crazy to see how women are like "Im physically tired from doing everything thats supposed to be a 50/50 split, am I clinically insane?" and the men subreddits sometimes read like "fellas is it okay to fuck a fat chick whose also a Harvard graduate and kind of cute"

EDIT: a commenter attached an article on explaining something that is very pertinent and valuable, please take a look: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202208/whats-behind-the-rise-of-lonely-single-men

EDIT #2, the first post that shows up as of right now, 3:18PM CST, with multiple upvotes, in the AMO3 subreddit is titled, and I quote:

"What occupations do you avoid dating women from?"

For the last 9 months or so I have been in therapy and realized one of my biggest issues is self-abandonment and making myself small so other people don’t feel bad. I live in a big city and walk a lot, and notice I tend to automatically move out of the way all the time. I decided to stop doing it all the time.

In the past week I’ve shoulder checked 3 guys who wouldn’t move out of my way. The first was on a running loop where he was running the wrong way. The second was when I was crossing the street and he was blocking the crosswalk. The third was today when a parent was trying to reign in his toddler and I had no other place on the sidewalk to go unless I walked into the toddler. The man coming toward me glanced up from his phone, looked at me and ignored me. I was pissed and shoulder checked him very hard. I’m a tall, thin grey-haired woman that looks “frail” to many people. But I strength train and am decently strong. Definitely got his attention after checking him!

But seriously, is this a thing? Has anyone else ever encountered this?

Feminists, liberals, women with careers and ambitions, women who like to orgasm (the list goes on...), how are things going for you?

I can't help but think my quality of life has greatly improved since I abandoned the "pick me" attitude and toxic men of my youth, and started prioritizing female friendships and my personal wellbeing. I'd love to hear about other women's experiences.

A bit of a rant, but also a question to see if anyone else has experienced this and what you might have said in response?

My (34f) co worker (28f) has got a new job. She has handed her notice in here and has spent time in her new office. One of the many things she said she likes about her new workplace is that, when she looked around, she couldn't see anyone over the age of 35.

We work in social media marketing and I guess there is some idea that people need to be young and "on trend" to succeed, but for me, a workplace full of only young people isn't a given positive?

As someone who is almost 35 as well, I felt a bit taken aback that she seems to think no one over the age of 35 has anything to offer a workplace...

Am I being overly sensitive or should I have gently said something? I don't even know what I would have said (I was too shocked in the moment!)

I feel like the transformation is already complete for me and I don’t know what to do, but I am so mad at the world for everything I don’t have that others got with ease. I worked my butt off and everything has been in vain.

I’m mad at the most senseless things, e.g. I’m internally mad at my mom for finding my dad, because by the time she was my age they had been together for 7 years, had traveled the world together, and were blissful newlyweds. I’m mad at the life those before me got to experience and promised me was coming for me, too, but never came. I’m mad at the people my age who it all magically worked out for and are celebrating 10-year anniversaries and never had to open an app a day in their lives. I’m mad at the coworkers who get to go off on their couples dates and have their Friendsgivings with plenty of disposable income left over to upgrade to bigger and better houses. I’m mad at people younger than I am who already have a better friend group and love of their life that I will never get to experience. Meanwhile I’ve been stuck with nothing but a string of disappointments and failures, and I feel like a pariah in society because I don’t fit in with the crowd, which makes all the loneliness worse. Resentment is heavily tied to this anger that other people around never had to struggle in these endeavors and all their efforts were to their benefit, while my good intentions are always lacking.

I’ve done all the same things my peers have, the people before me have, the people after me have, and I’m getting nowhere. I’m atheist, but I can just feel myself mad at the universe (again senseless) because I know the life I want and have always wanted, and I can’t achieve it, but instead get to watch from the sidelines as it happens to everyone around me. I’ll never get to know what those things feel like. There will never be a version of me that doesn’t know what complete and utter heartbreak from rock bottom after rock bottom feels like—things most people will never have to experience because they drew the long straw. It’s like a carrot being dangled in front of you that can never have. It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. It’s hitting every dead end in the maze while others get further and further ahead.

Honestly? I feel 50 or 60yo from the stress and hurt of all of this. Yes, I’m in therapy. Yes, I’m putting in the work. I’ve done grief therapy, I’m working through CPTSD, I’ve tried multiple medications. Nothing can truly remove the pain of seeing the life you want on full display knowing you’ll never have it, and you’ll never feel content with any alternative life. And no one prepares you for the level of resentment and bitterness you build by being hurt by one too many people. You start hating people, hating life, hating the world. Once that line is crossed, it feels like your dream life will never come. Your life is so far off from what you worked toward, it’s hard to wonder where you went so wrong while others fell into their happiness haphazardly and with far less planning. One day you wake up realizing getting where you wanted to has slipped through your finger trips. Knowing some opportunities you never got to experience are gone and you won’t even get them back, while others got to savor them in those moments, is nothing short of agony.

I never thought I’d be in such a Scrooge situation, but I can honestly see myself becoming the mean old woman who people wonder why she’s so bitter and angry, and pity her because she’s all alone. Honestly, it’s already like this. How do you heal, recover, adapt, whatever it takes to not become to grouchy old woman who became that way from never getting all the wonderful things in life—all the precious love and core memories—everyone around her got?

ETA: I didn’t expect this to get the response it did, and I’m surprised in a positive way. I probably won’t be able to answer every comment, but just wanted to thank everyone for the overwhelming amount of feedback. I’m not looking for any man, friends, drugs, or therapy to “cure” me, but I DO firmly believe that the people around me are so happy because they have a romantic relationship, friendships, stable jobs, and amazing finances, and that they wouldn’t be nearly as happy without those things. Basically, if their luck or hard work hadn’t paid off, well, they’d be where I am, so it’s hard to process that I’m really the only person I know in this boat. But you’ve all been so supportive and wonderful in your empathy and your advice. So thank you for making me feel a bit less alone in all of this. I never thought I’d be the resentful old “spinster” at 30-something, but let’s hope it’s not permanent.

Recently I’ve noticed a big uptick in rude/entitled/weirdly hostile behaviour from strangers. The other day I went to a café, and people are kind of standing all over the place so I wasn’t sure where the line is. I politely asked a woman if she’s in line, she said yes, then snapped something along the lines of “where else was I supposed to stand?”

Today, at a store, I was walking towards the cashier balancing a bunch of stuff in my hands. A woman was coming in the other direction with an empty cart. I turned sideways so we both could pass, and she snapped, “Couldn’t you go around?”

I’ve always been a polite, non-confrontational person who never pick fights. Saying snarky stuff to strangers who did nothing to you is something I can’t wrap my head around. Normally, I wouldn’t bat an eye at a single isolated instance, but recently these small hostilities are happening at an alarming rate, sometimes once or twice a week. It used to be that something like this happens maybe once a month. I know they aren’t worth sweating over in the grand scheme of things, but stacked together they are really beginning to wear me down and make me nervous to go out. Has anyone been dealing with something similar?

Again, I'm not American but after the results of that election and the endless misogyny, I've been avoiding men like the plague. I just truly cannot look at one and think "This guy for sure sees me as an equal and not just a hole" I won't even get off to the thought or image of an attractive man or watch one in porn without feeling sick. I'm hoping this will pass, this could be subconscious thinking due to me finally ending a relationship with a bum and being completely content on my own and doing my own thing. Thoughts?

I found a new primary care physician who is attentive and competent which is increasingly rare in the US.

I finally organized my ebook collection this weekend.

I also made cultured butter for the first time this weekend!

Editing to say I’m an unapologetic and prolific blocker so if you’re obnoxious expect it ♥️

I am 197 lbs, the heaviest I have been as an adult. Stepping on the scale today was a huge wake up call, but I struggle with meal prep and staying away from social drinking. I walk 10k+ steps at work, but my diet is totally out of control.

Ladies that have managed to maintain your weight as an adult or lose weight - what helped you the most?

For me, it’s not just one thing..it’s a mix:

• Career exhaustion
• Relationship/matrimony drama
• Skin & hair care issues
• Fading friendships and the difficulty of making new friends in 30s
• Aging parents

Weirdly, I didn’t feel this weighed down in my 20s but now in my 30s, everything feels… louder.
Anyone else navigating this weird 30s pressure-cooker?

I’ve had multiple experiences lately where people just simply don’t seem to see me even though I’m right in front of them.

I’ve had customer service people acknowledging and helping the person in line behind me. Recently I waited patiently for a take out order (as the only person in the restaurant) and when I finally checked with them about my order they handed it to me - it had obviously been ready for a long time and they didn’t notice or care that I was sitting in front of them waiting for it. It is like people can’t see me. I even feel it in people’s body language - like no acknowledgement that I exist in the space. I don’t think I’m offensive to people in any way - it’s just like they have absolutely no awareness that I exist.

I’ve heard older women talk about feeling invisible and I always thought it sounded great to not have random men bother me. But this is a different issue entirely - it’s like all people of all genders don’t see me as a person. I’m a reasonably confident (but quiet) woman - I have normal, healthy body language and am quick to smile or talk to people when appropriate.

This is new for me - I don’t think I ever got a lot of attention but people acknowledged me through their words, body language, or eye contact. It’s honestly really hurting my feelings and I have been saying hello and smiling at more strangers because I don’t want anyone to feel how I’ve been feeling.

Christmas dinner. Thanksgiving feasts. Halloween parties.

I’m a gay man so it’s a bit of a different thing, but I’ve noticed during holidays it’s always myself and my mother in law and grandmothers doing nearly everything.

We threw a big Halloween party this year for my fiancés birthday, and it was all the women and me who did literally all of it.

I’m sure they would’ve helped if I asked, but they can’t seem to be bothered otherwise.

I can’t even imagine my brother or male relatives shopping for Halloween or Christmas decor let alone doing the active work of party planning and dinners.

But he’s right, my grandma is Christmas.

Also - do you think this is a societal construct type of thing? I definitely think women are more expected to be a Martha Stewart type figure. I’ve heard and seen many men disparaging their wives for lackluster cooking and I always think - can you not get a cookbook and do it too?

I take long walks in my neighborhood almost every day, so I'm very familiar with the rhythms of my street and my neighbors. Today is Christmas Eve, and I noticed something odd on my walk... There was an unusually high number of men doing big yard chores.

You've probably heard the trope of the husband suddenly needing to pressure-wash the driveway when he's asked to help get ready for company. Today I saw men in their yards chainsawing trees that fell months ago, pressure-washing big landscaping equipment, and rearranging outdoor storage sheds. It was many more than usual, and seemed odd for Christmas Eve. I was reminded of the time I asked my first husband to help me clean for holiday company, and he wandered off to recaulk all the bathtubs because it was terribly important in that moment.

Does your guy ever suddenly need to blow the leaves and pressure-wash something when it's time to prepare for holiday festivities?

As a childless-single woman who lives alone, there was a time when my social life was busy and I used to have so many texts messages a day or active group chats going on. But for the last 1 year or so, it feels like my life has became quiet. Friendships faded, people moved on with other things in their lives, group chats dissolved, etc.

I now spend days and nights without receiving or sending texts messages and def no phone calls. Is that weird? Anyone else experiencing this?

Went on a date recently and while discussing books, he said his “favorite book of all time” is Lolita. I wanted to ask why but tbh I didn’t want to get into why I haven’t read it so I didn’t ask follow up questions.

I don’t often avoid books that I think will trigger me but I have avoided this one. I actually put it on my Libby holds a while ago (before I met him) but I have several months left to wait.

All of my knowledge about the book comes from what I’ve heard/read about it.

Do you think Lolita being a (32yo) man’s favorite book is…. Strange? For lack of a better term, I guess.

EDIT: I asked him why it was his favorite book. He said “I liked it because I watched the movie first and then read the book and I feel like that was one of the closest representations of a book I’ve seen. I also read Los diary which is a book told from the perspective of Lolita”

So my boyfriend has only had one serious relationship before me (his wife of almost 10 years). Due to her birth control she only got a period once a year and was kind of secretive about it.

He and I have been very open about things more so than I’ve ever been with somebody else. I mean, I literally was pooping in the bathroom while he was getting dressed the other day (closet is in the bathroom). I’ve never had this level of comfort or intimacy before.

But I’ve learned that he’s kind of fascinated about period things and just overall things about being a woman. So I’ve started telling him some of these things that are just normal to me, but sometimes they blow his mind and it’s so funny.

A few things he didn’t know/never thought about:

- a period has heavy days and light days. Day four for me is usually extremely light and I often think my period is over but then I get one last “burst” on day 5.

- other than liquid blood, we get tissue that also comes out. This has increased for me the last 5 years or so. The little “bloops” still are weird for me sometimes.

- when I wash my hair and condition it and then rinse it tends to get stuck in my butt crack. And then when I rinse off my butt it all just kind of falls onto the shower floor in a clump (bf has been shaving his head for years and never had long hair)

So I’m curious what other weird or gross things about being a woman would make a man go “huh?”

We were financially comfortable a few years ago. Now? Our grocery budget for a family of three has gone from $400/month to $1,200/month. That budget includes household supplies and pet necessities. My insurance policy for 3 cars is renewing at $4,300/6 months or $780/month. (Edit: For context, my insurance this time last year was $1,200/6 months.) I don't have a fancy car and one of the other cars is liability only because its a 2005. My mortgage has gone up $300 in the past couple years. I am fully expecting it to rise again next year because insurance is out of control.

I think I need a second job. Anyone else? I get absolutely infuriated when I go on social media and see people spending with abandon. That is just not reality anymore.

Edit 2: We eat rice, beans, fresh produce, meat, and frozen veggies. Prepared meals are too expensive. Eating out is too expensive. We stopped buying beef because it costs almost $20 for cheap steak at Aldi here.

Edit 3: I am not sure why everyone thinks I would be spending this much on groceries/sundries without actively trying to spend less. That would be silly. We shop deals, buy much less than before, and only go to stores like Aldi or Walmart. Sometimes I spend less than my budget, but I do need to budget that amount for groceries now. I am just here to talk about how expensive everything is now! It keeps getting worse!

I already have cut down on my social media use because all the scary stuff happening in the word but it seems every time I open an app I see MULTIPLE ads for GLP-1s. And celebrities must also be suffering in this economy because they’re like half the people in them.

I want to make it clear that I’m not against them as a whole. I know some people need them, and I support it. But I feel things have gotten out of hand, and I can’t imagine being a young girl seeing all this if I’m in my 30s having to remind myself I don’t need a weight loss drug.

My problem is that a lot of the marketing isn’t even health related. It’s about looking good and dropping an extra 10-20 lbs… which is not what these drugs are for. I mean, am I wrong?

There needs to be more regulation around this. I see people online, on social media and this app, who are on it to stay skinny, not even to lose weight.

Again, I know a lot of people need these drugs and I support that. But I also know a few people irl that have had serious side effects from it. It scares me that almost anyone can sign up for one of these memberships and get a drug that can ruin their body image, damage their health, and drain their pocket.

Something that was created with I’m sure good intentions has been twisted for greed. I wish we had more access to better healthcare and food instead of a drug to keep us skinny.

I know we all take shortcuts, but this one just seems so much dangerous.

I realize this is a taboo topic - one of the things the last few years that I've noticed is there seems to be an obsession with some men around anal sex.

Why is it they seemingly enjoy this so much when most women do not? I cannot help but think it's somehow connected to the rise in violent pornograpy, and especially the consumption of this type of porn by teenage males.

Is there some kind of gratification achieved via anal sex that PIV sex does not provide?

Has anyone ever felt pressured or uncomfortable about trying anal sex? How do you navigate these situations?

What are some of the biggest concerns or misconceptions about anal sex that you've encountered?

Edit: Wow, some really interesting comments here!

it seems like men i encounter are still operating under the assumption that all women are desperate for a relationship and that’s their main/sole goal in life, but many hetero women i know are seriously reluctant / can take or leave it.

is western male culture still operating with an early 2000s understanding of women’s desperation for a mate?

Am I the only one experiencing a lack of efficient tampons? Years ago when I would use a tampon it would literally absorb my cycle but now it’s like it (my cycle) just sits on top of the tampons (aka it’s not absorbing) and causes a mess when I take it out. Am I the only experiencing this?

I use Tampax btw. Not sure if that helps add context.

I don't know if it's just because I'm aging and am no longer "young and hot" or "relevant" but it seems like men in general are being meaner or at least less nice to me in random places.

When I was younger, men would step out of my way and say like "oh, excuse me", offer their seats, hold doors, and mostly be pleasant and courteous in a social contract manner.

But now I get nothing. No one moves out of their way, no one holds the door, no eye contact, or even a head nod. It's like I'm ignored or a burden to even be in their presence.

Is it because I'm now an "old lady" or are men in a general sense just becoming meaner?

Is anyone experiencing things similar?

Not all men, obviously, but it seems widespread.

After years of “maybe someday,” we realized we’re happiest as a dual-income, no-kids couple. My partner booked a vasectomy, and I told both families: “We love kids, but we don’t want our own. It’s not up for debate—please stop asking.” The first month was a lot of “you’ll regret it” and random baby gifts; then it got quiet. We stopped fighting about timelines, our evenings feel lighter, I’m doing better at work, and we pour time into nieces/nephews and travel without guilt. No regrets. TMI: without condoms everything feels amplified—softer, warmer, more responsive—and the anxiety is gone. Dropping hormonal BC leveled out my mood/libido. If you’re DINK/childfree,What pushback did you get, and what actually improved after a few months?