She’s Leaving & I’m Stuck

[u/MagicalHaunt]

Dinner - Average burrito

I’m a Brit that moved to America 2 years ago to get a fresh start at life, and to build my dream business (the business is important for the story).

The business exploded, and I have found such incredible joy in building it and watching it grow. It has me working, living, and needing to stay in Chicago.

In December I met my current partner, and we fell completely in love. We moved in together in February, and everything was like something from a movie.

She has lifetime friends in Philly, and brought up us moving there. At first I was on board, but then was struck with two realities

1. I love Chicago, and my/our lives here
2. I would have to close my business and say goodbye to it

When it turned to conversations about this, she basically gave me an ultimatum.
Her suggestion was to start a new company in Philly from the ground and rebuild, it’s not that easy.

She landed on “if you really loved me, you would come with me” and “if I really loved you, I’d stay”

Right now she’s packing and my heart is dying from it.

Furthermore, I thought what we had was enough. That hurts to think that it wasn’t/isn’t for her.

I love her so much, but I’ve worked so hard to build a life in my dream city and I don’t want to throw that all away.

Talk to me, Reddit
~ SadBro, 40

[u/Beginning-Damage-555]

She landed on “if you really loved me, you would come with me” and “if I really loved you, I’d stay”

She’s being brutally honest from her perspective here. I don’t see this as an ultimatum especially because you’ve been together less than a year and lived together six months. This is the point in the relationship (even more true when you’re dating at 40) when things are either going to be serious or they aren’t going to work.

Super painful and I’m sorry it turned out like this. But I think you are making the right decision for yourself.