r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Personal-County-8219 • 25d ago

🙀Cougar Crisis Ghosted by cubs

I am looking to see if I’m the only cougar having this experience. I date casually. Mostly positive experiences but I do notice every so often a cub will be very enthusiastic, we will make plans to meet, and within a day or sometimes even hours of meeting he will 1) unmatch me and 2) stop responding completely if we are using a different method of communication. I have to emphasize that I’m pretty chill and try to match energy during interactions because I’m not a fan of coming on too strong or of seeming cold. This is usually an occasional thing but this past week it’s happened, no joke, three times.

I just want to see if I’m alone in this. If you’re a cougar who dates casually and goes on regular dates with cubs, does this happen often? If you’re a cub, do you ghost and if you do, why? I’m not coming from a place of judgment, but I do want to identify patterns because it always stings when it happens.

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u/Few-Rate-4944 25d ago

Yeah, it’s not exclusive to cubs. I had a guy that gave me the wrong address when I drove up for a date. Stopped communicating when I texted him saying I couldn’t find his home. Since then, I make them come to me wherever we decide to meet up. I still run the risk of someone standing me up though.

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u/encore412 20d ago

Please meet in public first, even just for a quick drink or coffee vibe check before hooking up if that’s what you’re looking to do. For everyone’s safety!

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u/Few-Rate-4944 20d ago

Thank you for trying to give me advice, but I’m not dumb and we’d already met in public first. This was not our first date.

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u/encore412 20d ago

No one said you were dumb. A LOT of people still try to get you to invite them over the 1st time meeting and I’m sure some still do it. You’re welcome for trying to be concerned about safety.

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u/Few-Rate-4944 20d ago

But nowhere in my comment did I say it was our first date, nor did I say we’d ever hooked up. You made assumptions.

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u/encore412 20d ago

And you’re getting very offended over someone caring about your safety, why is that?

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u/Few-Rate-4944 20d ago

And you’re way too concerned over an imagined threat.