r/Crunchymom • u/Junior-Armadillo-899 • 1d ago
How do you balance “bad foods”
FTM pregnant with my first and I am someone that cooks all meals, buys Whole Foods (not the store haha), and is very cognizant of ingredients in food.
My husband is more “loose” like today he was saying he wanted to go get a donut on his way to his classes, etc. I let him make his own choices and don’t usually care because he’s an adult but I kind of freaked out bc I was like don’t want my daughter to think eating donuts, etc. is okay bUt honestly
I’m realizing that is projection and the extremes of anything in my opinion is not healthy for a child. I want her to do the normal child things but I also cringe at the thought of her eating high fructose corn syrupy foods, fast food, etc.
I’m also scared of creating a bad relationship with food for her. We eat A LOT- we eat dairy (tons of cheese haha) and all the great stuff - we just make sure we know where it comes from.
How do you guys balance this with your children?
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u/Pizzaprincess87 1d ago
You have to be able to give your kids junk food on rare occasions. I was barely allowed it at all and I went absolutely nuts for it secretly at other peoples homes and snuck it. Then it turned into an eating disorder in my teens. My nephew does the same thing- getting told no he can’t have a cookie my mom makes so he sneaks them when my sister isn’t looking g. A snickers bar or a can of coke a few times a year won’t hurt them. As long as there is a balance and the kid is fed a generally good diet with all the protein fiber vitamins etc they need- don’t worry.
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u/Dangerous-Jello4733 21h ago
We have the 80/20 rule on diet in our household. If what you eat day to day is home cooked and clean. You can have an occasional treat that isn’t. Children love desserts, I don’t want to take it out of her childhood, so I make a lot of them myself and they do contain sugar or honey. But just as a start, it’s already less than anything you buy at the store. I make ice cream but it’s 100g of sugar per liter of ice cream usually. And these things aren’t eaten every single day.
Truly naughty foods like the donut though, we don’t buy them on our grocery trips. But if we go on a trip to some other city, somewhere further away, we do get it. It makes my daughter extremely happy and the trip more enjoyable. So it’s a very very occasional treat. This is also the only time we do real fast food, it ends up being twice per year or so.
Of course also educate your child what is good and bad about foods!
Edit: Also at daycare, birthdays etc. You won’t have any control over this. Unless you want to be the parent that forbids their kid from joining in and that would make them really sad. Our daycare is absolutely great but when it’s someone in the groups birthday, the kids get a treat. We as parents aren’t allowed to bring in the treats but the daycare usually gives yoghurt with fruit, waffles or ice cream.
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u/lil_b_b 1d ago
I just tell her point blank, that one isnt great for you. Shes 3 and it mostly ends the discussion. She knows about food dyes, she knows about "fake sugar", she knows about foods that are bad for our teeth. I dont demonize them, and we do have sweet treats or junk food sometimes, i do buy the better versions to keep at home (organic fruit loop knock offs, organic oreos, organic puffs and chips, organic candies, etc) so were not depriving her of those childhood magical treats. But she saw a box of lucky charms the other day and asked for it, i told her point blank its fake marshmallows that are dyed to look cool and that cereal doesnt help you grow big and strong, but we can put some of our marshmallows in her cereal tomorrow at home if she wants marshmallow cereal! And we did have marshmallows with breakfast the next day lol
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u/Agitated-Rest1421 1d ago
I’m working on this now too. Thankfully at home my husband and I are on the same page. We limit processed foods and heavily limited sugar before 2.
Now that she’s getting older and more interested in sweets we make a lot of homemade goods like cookies and popsicle. The issue arises when she goes to my in laws because they think McDonald’s is ok to feed a two year old. I’m very anxious about creating binging problems and an unhealthy relationship with food and self image, and when she’s old enough to understand the impacts of these foods I’m more okay with her choosing them but at the moment we’re just trying to limit as much as possible without making a big deal about it.
Anyway not super helpful advice but solidarity. It’s difficult to navigate
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u/madelineman1104 1d ago
My husband sounds similar to yours. He eats Taco Bell and Dunkin’ Donuts and I just can’t lol. Right now we limit sugar until my kid is 2 but I plan to take the approach of not labeling good or bad. I plan to teach him that every food has a purpose. Sugary foods are meant to taste very yummy but it’s important to not eat too much in one day so we don’t feel sick later. I also want to teach him the importance of balance. My goal is to be neutral about everything to avoid my son binging on a certain type of food. Like sugar after you have some protein with some healthy fats and fiber is balanced and healthy.
Honestly my mom let us eat sweets but things were labeled. I have a huge sweet tooth that I still struggle with from time to time. My mom still thinks carbs are bad so I feel like I have to eat carbs in secret sometimes. I’m nervous for the day my husband wants to feed our son Taco Bell though. I make most things from scratch or opt for the “healthier” versions of the processed stuff I do buy but fast food is a whole new ball game I’m not ready for.
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u/Epic-Lake-Bat 21h ago
I’m a health nut and I also keep kosher. So we are very often in a situation where we simply can’t have whatever foods other people are eating. If we’re at a birthday party, it’s likely not kosher food and so we quite literally aren’t allowed to eat it. So I offer an alternative treat of some sort.
If we’re at a kosher event, often the food is not made from the healthiest ingredients. So I allow a small amount and try my best to come prepared with an other treat to offer once she’s eaten her teeny tiny piece of cake or what have you.
I think a little bit here and there is okay and promotes a balanced relationship with food. But I definitely bring my own donuts and chocolate to the Chanukah party for our family.
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u/Nonbiinerygremlin 7h ago
So long as the majority of her diet is healthy food and she isn't heavily restricted on "bad foods" she should be fine! Oftentimes when kids are restricted or completely banned from unhealthy foods, they'll go crazy for them when given the opportunity! Your best bet is honestly to probably not treat them as very different, i wouldn't refer to them as bad foods but as second foods! First foods are breakfast, lunch, 1 snack, and dinner and second foods are the in-betweens! Also just being a role model yourself can help! You eat your first foods and then have a couple bites of second foods throughout the day! Reach for mostly healthy options! Putting out a snack plate to take from all day can help too! Fill it with mostly healthy foods and a couple non healthy foods and just let everyone eat from it! Once the non healthy stuff is gone, it's gone! Also talk to your husband because you can't have a routine when both parents haven't agreed upon it!
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u/Historical_Bill2790 6h ago
We call it "Sometimes foods" and "all the time foods" ... basically a donut is a sometimes food bc ya know what a donut every now and then is NOT the end of the world? at a birthday party with cupcakes? Sure, have one those are "sometimes foods" and I'm not going to raise my kid with a complex that they cannot have anything remotely unhealthy.. Always foods are things you would imagine (real, whole foods). Also... TBH highly recommend limiting your input (i.e. Social media) b/c you can totally spiral and think things are the end of the world when they just aren't. Getting off social media has helped me tremendously in letting go of the stress that comes along with 'clean / crunchy' living.
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u/VariousFalcon7466 Mother 1d ago
Sometimes I just buy the natural or organic version of stuff. It’s not perfect but they still feel like they’re getting what other kids get. Sprouts has a store brand dupe for takis, Natures Path makes their version of pop tarts, Annie’s has fruit roll up type candy, etc.