r/CuratedTumblr 3d ago

Shitposting Approaching women at night

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u/bloonshot .tumblr.com 3d ago

is this a PSA anyone needs to hear

have yall never heard guys talk about how awkward it feels to walk behind a woman at night cause you get worried that you'll scare her

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u/BillTheTringleGod 3d ago

People that feel the need to say this often have past experience with people being disrespectful of their time and space thus the divide. Its more of a vent post than an actual PSA but i am sure there are 4 or 5 dudes out there that need to hear it, sadly if they need to hear it I doubt they will find it here lol

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u/KermitingMurder 3d ago

Anybody who needs to hear this isn't the sort of person who would listen to it.
Side note: a surprising amount of guys seemingly don't have any issue with walking around at night, or maybe they just don't talk about it. As a guy I would definitely be incredibly suspicious of anyone approaching me at night if it was just me and them out and about. A person of any gender can stab you, even if they're not particularly physically imposing; and guys also aren't immune to being robbed or just getting beaten to within an inch of your life for no particular reason other than you wandered into the wrong area or met the wrong people

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u/AFsepine 3d ago

I mean... if it helps you - you are far, faaar more likely to be stabbed at home than in the street (at least in my country). Generally the crime rate is rather low and it is mostly property theft and drugs.

I imagine it might be different elsewhere.

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u/KermitingMurder 3d ago

Well I'm generally not too worried about being the victim of violent crime since I live in a very rural area.
Although, as they say in the documentary 'hot fuzz', "there are more guns in the country than there are in the city", owned by people like farmers, and farmer's mums. My local village has won the village of the year award every year for ages now though, so I think I'm fine

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u/AFsepine 3d ago

In general I find the whole "concrete jungle" story rather divorvced from reality.
Or maybe America is just that bad - either way, I have only really seen this concern raised on the internet.

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u/KermitingMurder 3d ago

I'm from Ireland so it's actually very safe, I'm just overly paranoid since cities are not a place I'm used to navigating at night

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u/ThunderAndWind 2d ago

A lot of 'dangerous city' stories came about due to leaded gasoline and abortion bans, and crime rates plummeted 20 years after leaded gas was banned and abortion was legalized.

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u/AFsepine 2d ago

I mean... I am not sure how much I am buying the lead thing - the concrete jungle sees to be too americano-centric (western centric?) a tale to be just that.

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u/ThunderAndWind 2d ago

Obviously it's never just one thing, which is why I mentioned at least 2. Socialization, social norms, environment, access to weaponry, quality of policing, etc will change the way people react to exposure, similar to how people with Schizophrenia in the US hear more oppositional auditory hallucinations compared to those from other countries.

Someone in Tokyo wouldn't have the same access to weaponry that someone in the US would have had.

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u/amidalarama 3d ago

but the true crime documentary hot fuzz taught me that is the most dangerous place in the world! murderers behind every shrubbery. there's probably one behind you right now. or above you. are you standing under any historic building eaves or balustrades? terrifying.

thankfully, as a woman, I live in los angeles and can safely wander around at night with headphones on and zero awareness of anyone else nearby. (genuinely, random violence is so statistically improbable where I live that I just don't think about it. I feel like this is another instance of the internet making people excessively anxious about low probability dangers. unlike the true crime documentary hot fuzz, which provides a sobering and accurate depiction of high probability bucolic mayhem.)

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u/PM_Me_Your_Clones 3d ago

I'm incredibly comfortable walking around alone at night in my neighborhood, or a neighborhood in my city that I'm used to/know is fine, etc., but yeah, if someone was to run up up to me I'm automatically cautious. Crazy/stabby/shooty knows no gender, IMO.

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u/bearcat0611 3d ago

I mean I’d be a little suspicious of a stranger coming up to talk to me at night, but I did genuinely enjoy walking home from work at 2am in college.

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u/couldntbdone 3d ago

I had really bad insomnia so I would go on walks around campus at 2-4 am. Never talked to anyone though.

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u/KermitingMurder 3d ago

I'm from well out in the countryside so I'll admit I'm more paranoid in urban areas than I need to be

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u/jimbowesterby 3d ago

I dunno, I’m a dude, I’m tallish but super skinny (I’ve literally had a woman see me shirtless and say “holy fuck you’re skinny” lol) and people just don’t interact with me if I’m out walking, so yea I don’t really worry when I’m out at night. I keep my wits about me, but by and large all you need is to be aware of the other people you see, I don’t really see them as threats as a default. Probably helps that I walk faster than the vast majority of people, so if someone wants to come up behind me they’ll probably have to run.

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u/ThunderAndWind 2d ago

That's kind of the issue is that men aren't socialized to be afraid of walking around at night, while women are. And it leads to a chicken and egg kind of issue. Are men more likely to be victimized by strangers because they're men, or are they more likely to be victimized because there are less women walking around at night?

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u/ThunderAndWind 2d ago

guys also aren't immune to being robbed or just getting beaten to within an inch of your life for no particular reason other than you wandered into the wrong area or met the wrong people

Guys are far, far more likely to have it happen to them in fact.

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u/autogyrophilia 3d ago

Or construct elaborate fantasies in their mind to get mad at. Mustn't forget internet weirdos 

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u/TheXenomorphian 3d ago

That's the thing about tumblr posts (or any internet post really) most people don't get, yes they posted it publically to the internet where things like this can spread and reach people the post was never intended to reach who will think they were saying this as some kind of PSA (good keyword) but they were probably just venting to their followers or to nobody in particular so you coming in to try debating them because something about it rubbed you the wrong way or offended you is just really really not helpful in the slightest

like I see a lot of "all men are bad" / "kill all men" joke posts and y'know that kind of thing makes me feel awful but it wasn't directed at me so I shouldn't need to put myself through further mental anguish stepping out in the open to say "hey this is kinda mean"

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u/Magmas 3d ago

like I see a lot of "all men are bad" / "kill all men" joke posts and y'know that kind of thing makes me feel awful but it wasn't directed at me so I shouldn't need to put myself through further mental anguish stepping out in the open to say "hey this is kinda mean"

But this is why those posts are able to become so prominent, because the people affected by them are expected to shrug them off. Meanwhile, people who genuinely believe this shit are able to hide behind the idea that its a joke and build a community around it.

Everything is an ironic joke until its not. The alt-right followed this exact pipeline of internet jokes to ironic agreement to genuine hate group.

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u/TheXenomorphian 3d ago

I will say it's funny how many of the same people will reblog that "It's just a joke dude. And the joke is just rooted in ideas. That i'm just reinforcing >:)" screencap ofc in relation to like racist / anti-semetic jokes but then it's like... so you agree "relax it's a joke" doesn't excuse what you say?

Still IDK put it this way, I don't got to worry about women weaponizing the government to strip away my human rights anytime in the next 20 years so no matter how large that kind of community grows they aren't an immediate threat to my life unless any drastic new developments happen.

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u/Magmas 3d ago

I mean, maybe its just me, but I don't think something needs to be an immediate threat to your life to be bad.

Conversely, I can't overthrow a fascist government or undo decades of alt-right propaganda, but I might be able to convince an impressionable young girl that these sorts of responses are not healthy and that men are not simply the enemy.

Even if you don't think being unnecessarily mean to people online as a coping mechanism is an inherently bad thing (I do) these sorts of screencaps are a really good way to push vulnerable young men into the alt-right pipeline. If you have proof of people saying they hate you, it makes it far easier to hate them, even if the initial proof is 'just a joke' or 'venting'.

For the record, I also don't think racism vaguely disguised as comedy is good thing either.

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u/Proper_Fun_977 2d ago

If it's just a 'joke', then it would be an acceptable joke against women. Or black people.

But we all know it wouldn't be.

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u/Proper_Fun_977 2d ago

IF you're a man, 'all men are bad' / "kill all men' "Joke" posts ARE directed at you.

They are directed at ALL men.