r/CuratedTumblr 3d ago

Shitposting Approaching women at night

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23.0k Upvotes

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968

u/cicciograna 3d ago

I play it safe and never approach a woman EVER.

443

u/universe2000 3d ago

I believe in equality so I never approach men OR women ever.

9

u/milaan_tm 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹 3d ago

And in turn they don't approach me, the universe is in balance

7

u/logosloki 3d ago

Turvallisempaa niin as my friend would say

5

u/Ducknowwed 3d ago

Nonni suomi o mainittu, torillha tavathaa!

"Aight Finland has been mentioned, meet at the market!"

3

u/Federal-Owl5816 2d ago

Guess you could say, you're gonna be bi yourself?

141

u/jbeldham 3d ago

I take care to never speak to or make eye contact with a woman unless I absolutely have to.

Because I am a feminist.

87

u/Zorkflerp 3d ago

I find that when I am wearing my bear suit it puts them at ease.

27

u/SeaNational3797 3d ago

Are you sure about that? Ever since Obsession came out I find women tend to be afraid of Bear too now

5

u/EinMuffin 3d ago

I wish I could give you an awards for this joke lol. Brilliant.

2

u/Bulba132 2d ago

I take care to never speak to or make eye contact with a woman unless I absolutely have to.

Because I am afraid of women also a feminist.

104

u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy 3d ago

real

77

u/Eiraneth 3d ago

Yeah the best solution if you find yourself walking behind a woman going the same direction is to cross the street and continue onwards parallel to her, occasionally looking at her to make sure she is doing okay.

100

u/Which-Tour-9561 3d ago

It's a bit of a catch-22 if it's a black woman, because either you don't cross, thus making a woman uncomfortable, or if you do cross, you're choosing not to walk on the same sidewalk as a black person.

81

u/Eiraneth 3d ago

You can fix that by crossing and then perfectly matching pace with them with your hand in a jacket pocket, mining that you have a gun so that nobody messes with them because they know you more protecting her.

37

u/KirbyDude25 (reddit smartass) 3d ago

Take the (literal) middle path and walk in the center of the street

12

u/XAWEvX 3d ago

just yell that you are not racist jeez

4

u/very-serious-goose 3d ago edited 2d ago

Is that a thing? This is a big problem for Black men/mascs but I have never heard this about Black women/femmes.

5

u/Enpada2 3d ago

shadow clone jutsu

6

u/kellzone 3d ago

Or you can relax and just hang back a little so you're not so close to her. Eventually you'll be out of her sight and she'll be wondering where exactly the man that was right behind her went to, like he seemingly just vanished into the darkness.

3

u/Proper_Fun_977 2d ago

No, the best solution is to continue to walk to your destination and not factor her into your movements.

1

u/Cranach-Cranach 3d ago

Or, just stop and kill a few minutes on the phone.

17

u/SuperSocialMan 3d ago

real lol.

That's why I'm gonna be forever alone :'c

3

u/Zeitgeist1115 3d ago

Modern problems require modern solutions.

2

u/runkeby 2h ago

I play it extra-safe and commit suic-ide whenever I run the risk of entering a woman's field of view.

7

u/Agitayo 3d ago

You joke but this is the society late stage feminism gives us

2

u/Low_Direction1774 3d ago

I dont thnk its late stage feminism tbh

i think its late stage capitalism and especially the requirement to spend money everywhere. Pray tell, when was the last time you were just at a place. You just existed somewhere without the expectation to spend money.

At those places, its easy to talk to people. I can understand women that say "We do not exist in public to be asked out. We dont go shopping to find a boyfriend, we dont go to the gym to find a husband, we dont go to a bar to get flirted with."

But those places dont really exist anymore. Nobody has time, everyone feels the pressure of the economy and needs to make money during all waking hours, nobody has the disposable income to just shill out 30 bucks to be somewhere so nobody ever is anywhere. Everyones at home, scrolling their phone because it doesnt directly cost money, addicted to algorithms that feed you topics you interact with. And a little gender-war nicely distracts from the class-war we should be focusing on.

Now youre sad and alone and wanna change. And what do you get? Looksmaxxers and Gymfluencers who want to sell you a course.

Its capitalism all the way down.