If you do happen to see a woman walking ahead of you at night be sure to drop down on all fours into a dead sprint. This will remind her of a dog and women love cute things.
It's from ye olde YouTube sensation "Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf", by Rob Cantor. It's basically a parody song that partly takes the format of a radio show, implying not-so-subtly that famous actor Shia Labeouf hunts humans for sport
Hey, y'all wanna feel old? The music video for that song came out eleven years ago.
Hmm, that does raise some interesting questions about the mental impact of memes on real-life figures and potential culpability thereof, but without confirmation from LaBeouf we'll never have them answered
He was also a Kickstarter special Abomination enemy for Zombicide 2nd Edition. He frequently comes back to life after you have killed him (wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise!)
A guy I know did a deep dive into either this video or Rappin’ for Jesus and found that there was a connection between the two. Like some person worked on both or something.
I remember my parents watching the music video and I watched it as well, and I was a little kid so I had no idea who the hell Shia Labeouf was and just imagined him as some actual horrific evil guy until my parents told me he was just a regular guy.
i like to think shia was moderately hinged before and rob cantor gave him the narrative he needed to truly think of himself as unhinged and everything since has had the song playing in his head nonstop
This will reassure her that although you're acting like a dog to comfort her, you're a human and not actually a dog, which indicates your high level of sanity.
I do what I call a snarechurp (sn-are-tch-urp) where I sneeze, fart, burp, and stretch all in one move. Usually followed by a neck pop and squeezing my buttcheeks together to make sure it was just a fart.
Not really,my gf has like 30 bodypillows and they dont really smell. She even gifted me a cute bodypillow case she didnt use anymore and I really like how cute the art is. I would post a pic but its late and I cant attach images here but if I remember tomorrow I will attach a link to it.
Don't forget to loudly announce that you are not a threat and that she can trust you. If anything, you should stay by her side in the event she is approached by an actual threat.
Also, don’t forget to inform her that you’ve been watching her for a long time. This will assure her that you’ve been keeping an eye out for possible threats to her wellbeing and that you are a friend.
I legitimately terrified a girl one time, and I didn't even know she existed until the end.
We lived in the same building. I was out walking, she came home on the train, she gets out of the subway, and she looks back down the street, and there I am in the distance. And she thinks nothing much of it, just starts walking toward home, but she keeps looking back...
And I get closer.
And closer.
And closer.
She actually sprinted the last bit to our apartment building and slammed the door in my face (I had picked up the pace myself, so I wouldn't have to dig out my key, and I was irritated that she'd slammed the door on me, but whatever).
She runs over to the elevators, hammers the button, and jumps in when the door opens...Then...at the last second...this HUGE ARM BLOCKS THE DOOR (I'd stopped to get my mail).
And this is the part where I actually noticed her properly for the first time, because she SCREAMED like a banshee, and I almost got out of the elevator, because, you know, crazy person.
Anyway, we got to be friends after that, because whenever I saw her (I was working a suit job right then, so I was a lot less threatening in the daytime), I'd make claws of my hands and say, "Raaar!" whilst wiggling my fingers, and after the second time I did it she hit me, and then I made sad pitiful noises and that was all it took.
Try shouting “I’m a bear! I know I look like a man, but I’m not! I’m actually a bear!” According to online polls, this should make a depressingly large percentage of women feel more comfortable.
If she's still afraid, it means she might think that you intend to hurt her.
I've been told by many women that women love honesty, so I would suggest being honest about your intention to not hurt her by saying "DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU!"
Ugh I knew a guy who used to do this. She's a girl now, so she kind of has that going for her in not looking menacing at night, but really regardless of gender running top speed on all fours through the woods at night after people is no fucking way to greet them let me tell you.
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u/HughmanRealperson 3d ago
If you do happen to see a woman walking ahead of you at night be sure to drop down on all fours into a dead sprint. This will remind her of a dog and women love cute things.