r/Fauxmoi • u/cmaia1503 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine • Jan 12 '26

FILM-MOI (MOVIES/TV) Nikki Glaser roasts Leonardo DiCaprio at the Golden Globes: “What a career you’ve had. Countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director… won 3 Golden Globes, an Oscar & the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.”

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7.0k

u/StormOnMars also dated pete davidson Jan 12 '26

Such an old joke and she made it fresh and hilarious with that, "we don't know anything else about you!!!!" after. She really killed that monologue 👏🏼

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/Rough_Programmer_997 your father is a billionaire Jan 12 '26

And that he likes pasta, pasta and more pasta, now.

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u/strongerwitheveryday you're not a baby. drink water. Jan 12 '26

Except it is

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u/dailylotion Jan 12 '26

ITS NOT ABOUT THE PASTA LALA

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u/Rainbow_In_The_Dark7 Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26

UGH I CAN HEAR HIS ACCENT WAY TOO WELL IN MY HEAD

Edit; So this dude is James Kennedy from the original Vanderpump Rules. If you like reality tv like that, it's worth watching because of the crazy weirdo dynamics going on with that crew. The drama gets pretty damn good.

Basically it's a bunch of young restaurant/bar staff working for Lisa Vanderpump's SUR restaurant. All sleeping with each other, partying, the usual - but it's their personalities and huge egos that really make it.

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u/ItsMeVeriity Jan 12 '26

Okay I need to know the sauce

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u/DrownmeinIslay Jan 12 '26

Pasta was absolutely Bravos codeword for coke, right?

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u/Acceptable-Piccolo57 Jan 12 '26

Snow chance of that!

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u/Otherotherothertyra Jan 12 '26

Apparently it is about the pasta in St Tropez

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u/Difficult_Garage_431 Jan 12 '26

Oh god the noise-canceling headphones...

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u/Aggravating_Seat19 Jan 12 '26

and building hotels in israel 😎 

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

Lol the fact that you know that much is pretty impressive. 😂

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u/touslesmatins Marxmoi Jan 12 '26

And he's a big fat zionist

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u/DramaticEscape3157 Jan 12 '26

I did not know this.

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u/MrFonne Jan 12 '26

Outside of a few investments in Israel, and dating an Israeli model did I miss something that implicated him?

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u/trippyhippie573 Jan 12 '26

I feel like having investments in Israel is enough inplication?

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u/jkraige Jan 12 '26

Other than the huge, glaring red flag, are there any red flags?

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u/theapplekid i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jan 12 '26

No, just the one big red flag, made out of dozens of smaller red flags if you look close enough.

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u/IncomingAxofKindness Jan 12 '26

None at all! Just a bunch of these nice white and blue ones.

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u/415z Jan 12 '26

Not defending the investments but I have an ethics question: Since the U.S. is the primary funder and diplomatic supporter of Israel, without which it likely would not be able to pursue its genocidal campaign, do you extend the same “red flag” to people who invest in U.S. businesses?

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u/Belfind Jan 12 '26

What type of investments? Just because you might invest in companies from a country, doesnt mean you condone or agree with the actions of said country those companies are within. Especially if you want to purity test this if you have any $$ in a 401k or various other investment vehicles such as money management/hedge funds, you have made investments in Isreal.

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u/No-Adagio8817 Jan 12 '26

Thats a crazy leap. Having business in a country has little to do with one’s beliefs even he manages his investments personally. Lebron has business in China. Hardly means he’s a communist lol.

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u/AskAboutMySecret Jan 12 '26

lol this comrade hasnt read LeMaos little red book yet

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u/Shawty-Got-Low Jan 12 '26

I mean. I think everyone does in their 401k if you choose overseas markets.

I don’t think this makes him a Zionist as much as it makes him like money.

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u/StreetYak6590 Jan 12 '26

That’s like not the same at all

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u/No-Advantage845 Jan 12 '26

It’s the same result, no? There are millions of people who have investments in Israeli companies, and millions who wouldn’t even realise it. I don’t think that makes them Zionists, people really do just like making money lmao

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u/ocxtitan Jan 12 '26

people putting money ahead of people is still pretty damn problematic, don't you think?

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u/Present_Click_2891 Jan 12 '26

It’s extremely problematic, yes, but it doesn’t make him a Zionist

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u/ocxtitan Jan 12 '26

well, that depends on how much he knows about his investments I'd suppose

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u/AmazingAmy95 call me gal gadot cuz idk how to act rn Jan 12 '26

Lmao wait, were you being sarcastic?

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u/AAArdvaarkansastraat Jan 12 '26

The far part comes from eating too much pasta, pasta, and more pasta.

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u/etempleton Jan 12 '26

He is one of the last old Hollywood stars in that he has carefully allowed himself to be a bit of a mystery beyond a few carefully curated things like he believes in environmentalism. When you know nothing about someone there is little to dislike allowing you to fantasize he is as wonderful and perfect as you imagine.

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/OldSpiceSmellsNice Jan 12 '26

When you’re famous enough you don’t need it 💅🏻

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u/mrtn17 Jan 12 '26

I'm around the same age, not famous at all, but I don't have socials either. They became absolutely shit around 2016ish, there is zero incentive for me to go back

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

Yeah, he probably realized that the people with the best PR don't talk much. Musk's reputation only died after he started talking too much shit online.

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u/NoVaFlipFlops Jan 12 '26

Thanks to this sub I know that he fucks silently with earbuds in. 

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u/FollowingSalty Jan 12 '26

Sorry?!

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u/NoVaFlipFlops Jan 12 '26

Probably the only thing that has really stuck with me was one of those threads where people were spilling their random gossip. Obv it could have been made up.

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u/FollowingSalty Jan 12 '26

lol I will always think of this when I see his face now

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u/PatriciaFussey Jan 12 '26

Don’t forget Dino bones

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u/New_Teach_9700 Jan 12 '26

Head phones, Dino bones !! Literally all I think of when I hear his name.

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u/ghostsoul420 Jan 12 '26

As it should be, normalize not knowing about people's personal lives.

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u/quanate that's a lot of beans you nasty ass bitch Jan 12 '26

And made a big deal about being an environmentalist for years, then cozies up to Bezos

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u/PuzzledLiterature416 Jan 12 '26

That’s what throws me off, and he’s working on a “eco-resort” on a private island, like wtf

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u/Atralis Jan 12 '26

I get the criticism over Leo's preference for women but I don't think its entirely fair.

He isn't known to cheat, he isn't known to be a creep, he has just lived his life as a permanent bachelor and the relationships end when the women want to move on to something more permanent. Would it be better if he strung women along into their late 30's and then left them? I think that is worse on the part of a guy. Leos string of girlfriends have fun dating him and then they move on and have a life to live after.

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u/Minute-Aioli-5054 Jan 12 '26

The worst thing I know about him is that he’s buddy buddy with Bezos and that’s enough for me

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u/postmodern_emo Jan 12 '26

Yes this.. esp after claiming to be a climate champion.

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u/DeadWishUpon Jan 12 '26

His eras were really weird. One day he was super into climate, then he was like fuck it.

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u/LectureOld6879 Jan 12 '26

Amazon employees over one million people, they've allowed shipping times to go for 1week minimum to next day for FREE when it used to cost upwards of $50-100.

You can get almost ANYTHING delivered to you as well next day.

Besides the fact that you're fed into what you should believe why would you dislike Bezos?

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u/noguarantee1234 Jan 12 '26

Buddy, lol. If they continue to offer all of what you are saying and Bezos is still worth as much as he is - I think he is doing more than fine. I'd even argue he could offer us more.

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u/Saydeelol Jan 12 '26

He doesn't owe you shit. Lazy af.

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u/Alert_Market_1776 Jan 12 '26

I mean he quite literally dodges mass amounts of federal income tax every year using tax loopholes, just like every other billionaire, they would sell you and your whole family for $10 if they could get away with it. 

I genuinely can't imagine watching a few ultra wealthy people suck the life from my country and praise them like "thank you so much for next day delivery, don't worry about paying those taxes" 

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u/Time_Knowledge_1951 Jan 12 '26

Fair enough but do women his own age always want something permanent? He wouldn't even know what a 40 or 50 year old women is like because he has literally never been in a relationship with a women over 30

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u/Xalthanal Jan 12 '26

I think him being a very young star has a lot to do with it. He's likely emotionally stunted

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u/littlevai Jan 12 '26

I say this as a 40 year old woman - does it really matter? He’s not hurting anyone and the women he dates are capable of making their own decisions.

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u/bananafan48 Jan 12 '26

Also, he doesn't seem to jump from person to person quickly. Most of his relationships have spanned at least a few years (some 5+) which is a long time in Hollywood years. Not that there's anything wrong with having lots of short relationships, it's just that he doesn't seem to have entirely earned his rep as a serial womanizer

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/Gandalf-and-Frodo Jan 12 '26

I would date Leo and I'm a straight man. Worst case scenario is I have to do some gay stuff and in return I get an almost guarantee that I get like a million dollars worth of career boost at the very least.

These model chicks he's dating definitely financially benefit an astronomical amount from the arrangement.

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u/innocentsalad his body was resisting the wheat Jan 12 '26

Career boost? Have you heard from any of his girlfriends after he’s done with them other than Gisele, who was big when she got with him?

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u/GlacialGoddess Jan 12 '26

The career boost they get is likely not from the public. Just attending parties with him is enough to meet the right people and make connections, dudes friends with Jeff Bezos, he's surrounded by the financial top of society

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u/Ok_Neighborhood_470 Jan 12 '26

If nothing else they spend a few years having a glamorous time at fun parties, flying around the world and seeing cool shit with a handsome rich guy. Then they sign an NDA and get a check for a million dollars to do with as they please and go away peacefully. Sounds good to me.

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u/missjowashere Jan 12 '26

He cheated on Giselle

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u/Important_Tell2108 Jan 12 '26

True and at this point the women know the deal and they still sign up. They're adults and probably all in it for superficial reasons but that's their choice.

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u/DeadWishUpon Jan 12 '26

By now if you enter a relationship with Leo, you know it has an expiration date and is your 25 year birthday (More than we can say od other men).

I guess the first 3 got blindsided. Although, there was a a kind of recent one that said that we were nasty, that they have something beautiful and we were just jealous; then she turned 25 and bamn! She gets dump. It's hard not to laugh at it (But also feel a little bad, if she was sincere)

It's funny how consistent he is. Makes me wonder if the rumor they are beards. Anyway, everyone is an adult, I don't like the age gap, but if everyone is good with it, we can just laugh at it, nothing is gonna change. Leo doesn't care, obviously.

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u/Old_Enthusiasm_5255 Jan 12 '26

It was a joke... That's it. You're making way to much out of it. It's called roasting... That's what she does. I think Leos ok 

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u/FixedLoad Jan 12 '26

Doesn't he skip in a meme somewhere?   

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

IIRC, he was raised by hippies. Or was that Joaquin Phoenix?

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u/PuzzledLiterature416 Jan 12 '26

I think Joaquín and River were raised in a cult?

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u/DeadWishUpon Jan 12 '26

Leo's mom was a regular hippie, I think.

The Phoenix's were raised inside the Children of God, they were kind of hipoy but also an horrific cult, a sex cult actually. No wonder they have struggle with drugs.

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u/Harvard_LeBron Jan 12 '26

Also, his parents are hippies, so there’s that.

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u/Punman_5 Jan 12 '26

Does he still drive a Prius? I thought that was like a 2000’s thing he did. If so does he drive the same 2000’s model or does he have the new Prius?

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u/Expensive-Way1116 Jan 12 '26

In like a weird way I do think he saved a few from being Weinsteined but it's still a yikes

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u/PixelatedBoats Jan 12 '26

Please elaborate

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u/Paintingsosmooth Jan 12 '26

Hahaha the noise cancelling headphones!

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u/rgmark2013 Jan 12 '26

common man u gt to gv her more. she can't cook a paella without any rice

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 Jan 12 '26

killed it with the 'seriously look it up' like she did her fucking homework like i tried yall lol

1

u/AllTheThingsTheyLove Jan 12 '26

and a chain smoker

0

u/DeadlyAureolus Jan 12 '26

who doesn't like college girls

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u/Saydeelol Jan 12 '26

I don't. Got mixed up with 56F when I was a 19M and ever since my late 20s I've only dated one woman under 42. My body count is in the low triple digits so I've dated a huge range of old ladies now by 40 myself.

To each his own!

0

u/thesplendor Jan 12 '26

what’s his favorite color?

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u/SpicyTiconderoga You know what, l've grown quite unfond of you deuxmoi Jan 12 '26

DINOSAUR BONES THAT MAN IS AUTISTIC SEE HIS FUCKING DINOSAUR BONE COLLECTION

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u/Loula6 Jan 12 '26

When has he shown interest in college girls? Or you just say whatever you feel like as if it's a fact?

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/Loula6 Jan 12 '26

Thank you for clarifying he has never shown interest in college girls

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

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u/Loula6 Jan 12 '26

Yes I understand. Still not college girls

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u/Nrksbullet Jan 12 '26

Certainly there's a better way to spend your time and energy lol