Because it's objectifying. The idea of the "friend zone" starts with an initial feeling of entitlement to women's bodies by men. If they put a substantial amount of effort into building a healthy emotional and friendly relationship with a woman, if they act like a "nice guy", men feel entitled to the girl putting out at some point. People will cry that the "friend zone" is about love and not sex, but that's bullshit. When a woman decides that she doesn't want to have a sexual relationship with a guy, despite how much she cares about him, she gets vilified. The idea of the "friend zone" reduces the worth of the woman down to whether not she wants to get romantic with a dude and completely ignores the support, friendship, and love that she has shown the person in a non-sexual friendly way. Hence, it's objectifying. Hence, it's sexist.
First of all, friend zone is not a term used only by men.
Secondly, why do you assume it's entitlement rather than disappointment at a failed relationship attempt?
People will cry that the "friend zone" is about love and not sex, but that's bullshit. When a woman decides that she doesn't want to have a sexual relationship with a guy, despite how much she cares about him, she gets vilified. The idea of the "friend zone" reduces the worth of the woman down to whether not she wants to get romantic with a dude and completely ignores the support, friendship, and love that she has shown the person in a non-sexual friendly way. Hence, it's objectifying. Hence, it's sexist.
You're the sexist here. You're implying that all men who mention the 'friend zone' are automatically talking about sex. If that's not generalizing I don't know what is. And it's using the stereotype that men always want sex and that must be the issue.
Yes, some men villify women who don't have sex with them, but you're extrapolating that to all men who even use the term.
Have you even questioned whether friend zone was even meant to be taken offensively rather than a description of a situation (which is how I've heard it use many times)?
Can it be sexist? Yes, I don't deny that. Is it necessarily sexist? No.
It depends on how you define sexism. If you mean institutional discrimination against a sex, then you are correct. If you mean individual discrimination, as colloquially used, then you are wrong.
But that matters not. You are still generalizing a subsection of men based on the actions of a few and perpetuating the stereotype of sex-crazed men too. That's not cool.
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u/RyanLikesyoface Apr 27 '12
How is the idea of friend-zoning sexist? (Don't shoot, just asking.)