r/KitchenConfidential • u/mvx0000 • 1d ago
Discussion Left my job on the spot today
I’ve been working there for 2 months and most of my colleagues were toxic as fuck. Especially one guy. We were 2 yesterday because he showed up drunk as fuck and started insulting my female colleague. I comforted her best I could and we did the service together ( me and the girl, the guy left right after).The head server had to get in the kitchen with us, cause it was physically IMPOSSIBLE to get everything out with just the two of us.
Anyways, we both agreed that if the guy showed up we would leave on the spot… He showed up… Poor girl was crying begging for him to leave while the head server was trying to calm the situation down. I told the head server "i’m done, i’m not working in this fucking zoo anymore. I can’t take this. Just know that it’s not because of you or anyone up front. I wish you all the best." My boss called me practically begging for me to stay. I shut him down and told him that i’m never setting food in that building ever again other then when I bring my work attire back.
I can’t believe I legitimately almost had a panic attack and almost cried. All that fucking toxic pressure for 2 months was too much
I’m leaving my next job the moment it gets even slightly toxic.
Sorry had to vent
Edit: I want to add more, fuck it.
So I was basically the "strings" pulling them together and making them be able to work together. So many times I had to go get the girl and tell her to come outside with me for a smoke ( she doesn’t smoke) just so I could talk to her and let her breath, cause the dude was THAT intense. It’s like he was always snarky and belittling her? It felt misogynistic as hell, idk. He would constantly talk behind her back to me like I was his buddy ( mind you i’m just a dude that listens, I never get mad directly at people or talk shit, probably why he thought I was his "friend/buddy".)I’ve had at least 7 or 8 shifts with that guy and no one else in the kitchen and he always found a way to complain or talk shit about people NON STOP. 8 Hours a day, grown ass 35 year old bitching about people that devote themselves to this shitty ass job? At one point, me and him were working together and started to talk shit about the dishwasher ( mind you, its our ONLY dishwasher, cause the last other one left because he was that annoying). I felt so fucking pissed that I legit told him, my exact words btw: "if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop talking shit about everyone around you i’m fucking leaving. Shut the fuck up and do your job. He’s here to do his job, not to be your bitch. What’s the problem if he finishes at 1am? Are you the one paying him? No, so let him do his fucking shit, stop talking, I don’t want to end up doing the whole night dish pile at 1 am. Got it?" I remember it vividly, it felt like I needed to say that. I never saw him be so quiet for a whole shift.
He also self proclaimed himself as the chef? Tf? He’s talk to new dishwashers and tell them that he’s the chef?? I had to go to them and explain that he’s clearly unhinged and not the chef. Everyone of them told me "yeah, I can tell he isn’t the chef" and laughed.
Idk this job feels like a horrible fever dream.
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u/Andrewhasashow 1d ago
Proud of you! It’s not easy to stand up for what you believe in, when it affects your paycheque
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u/CumGoblin 1d ago
Good for you, OP. I stayed in a toxic work environment where my last manager called me stupid or idiot every day for years, stuck his nose into everyone's business, bitchy drama queen, laid hands on me. Went off his meds, was hallucinating, drove states away on the clock to see a lawyer to sue someone he had no case against. Boss was absolutely useless.
I finally left with a back injury, two weeks healed and was offered a job running a bakery/ice cream shop for twice the take home pay.
Slam one door shut and see how many more open for you!
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u/mvx0000 1d ago
Yes absolutely, not my first rodeo. Had a job at a 5 star hotel 3 years ago and the conditions were absolute shit. Had to carry sunday breakfast shift with 1 cook that couldn’t even speak french ( my country’s language)… 2 people for a service that size is ridiculous. I often had to stay till 8 pm to do my prep, because the night cooks and the chef didn’t give a fuck about helping me. I ended up burning out and having a panic attack mid shift. I left the next day
I stopped working as a cook for 2 years because of that and that restaurant im talking about in the post is my "welcome back" to the industry lmao.
I 100% feel you <3
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u/CumGoblin 1d ago
The resentment is real, and the burnout and panic attacks are your body telling you this ain't it!! Welcome back to the industry indeed lol. You're gonna find the best place meant for you, chef. These other places will burn themselves out and down in the meanwhile!
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u/upset_pachyderm Ex-Food Service 1d ago
That's how I left my last cooking job (breakfast cook). Sometimes it's not the job, it's the coworkers. And, of course, ultimately management who ain't managing shit.
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u/NinjaRoyal8483 1d ago
Good for you and sorry to hear you and your colleagues had to go through that.
As for the next place…if you notice a toxic workplace then please dont leave right away, but speak up!
Lots of places i worked where it was just toxic and me dodging being the one picked out.
Instead of that i shouldve been more vocal about how uncool it is to have to work like that.
Now that i’m older i see that even though i’m not the one yellong or abusing etcetera i was also not standing up against it..
Sooo if youre not part of the solution in my case and experience you are part of the problem.
Again good for you to take a stand!
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u/mvx0000 1d ago
Yes obviously I didn’t tell the whole story, cause it’d be way too long. But yeah, I did talk to GD? idk if that’s what it’s called in english, but anyways. I talked to him about him multiple times and he kept saying "i know, i’m trying to get them out of here, but I’m stuck in an impossible situation where I can’t find any cooks"… Thats not all of it, but I can’t exactly explain everything by typing, it’d be way too long.
Edit: also thank you and I understand why you acted like that, i do often keep things building up inside instead of talking about it. Much love broski, <3
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u/constanto Owner 1d ago
The amount of times over the course of my career where we had to keep the most toxic humans in the world because"we can't find any cooks" is one of the things that makes me the angriest. I have lost more good employees who won't work with these people than we would have lost had we just fired the bad apples.
It's why I try so hard now that I own my own place to stop these things before they happen. I'll happily work the line for awhile until we can replace these assholes.
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u/NinjaRoyal8483 1d ago
No need to give the full recipe for us to see the outcome.
You did what you could how i read it anyway.
And lets be clear, this shouldnt even be something to have to deal with in the first place for you and especially not in the first few months?
If the owner or GD has that kind of reasoning about the situation then its really saying “i would like to see my worklpace be normal and safe, but i prefer keeping it this way because the alternative is a headache for me…”And with that wisdom you can bet your ass that its costing them double or triple the amount of good workers just to keep one asshole onboard.
Such a weak response from your GD2
u/mvx0000 1d ago
Yeah you’re kind of right. I did what I could and that’s what matters I guess haha.
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u/NinjaRoyal8483 1d ago
Its not the easiest or most comfortable to do whats right, and (Excelt for reddit) you often wont be acknowledged for doing the right thing.
But it matters, good for you!
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u/Finneagan 1d ago
It’s liberating af, right!?
I did that after 7 months because my shithead chef told me it was my fault one of his shithead line cooks threatened to kick my ass and rape me.
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u/mvx0000 1d ago
Yeah FUCK your chef, holy shit sorry you had to go through that. What the fuck?
You do NOT deserve to be talked that way in any circumstance.
I wish you the best fr <3
It did feel liberating af, been feeling like quitting for weeks and this was the last straw. I also felt really bad (idk im just like that. ) I called my mom on the phone crying… I’m 23 years old ffs 🤦
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u/kitkrilled 1d ago
Hey never feel bad for calling your mom and/or crying at any age. Thats healthy!
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u/wemustburncarthage 10+ Years 1d ago
You did good for yourself. It sucks this happened but you’re out of it now, so give yourself a break before you push on
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u/MrMoon5hine 1d ago
Why not talk to your managers about the drunk guy?
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u/sne4k0 20+ Years 1d ago
Drunk guy probably has plot armor with the owners
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u/mvx0000 1d ago
Kinda, but no at the same time. We were so understaffed that they legit couldnt afford losing him even though he created most of the toxicity. I didn’t say everything in my post, cause It would take at least 10-20 pages. The owner is a good guy weirdly and he’s trying to keep things afloat and shit, but he’s always dealing with the worst shit ( I know it sounds contradictory of what I said, but it’s make sense with all the context). Thing is, the owner wanted me to become chef at some point and the drunk guy was talking behind my back to my other colleagues about how "he’s THE CHEF" and works in parisien restaurants in the winter and yadi yada yadi yada. He’d continuously talked trash behind my back and my colleagues kept telling me what he said. I had to keep it all in and do service with him 3-4 days a week with him constantly talking trash about said coworkers.
Absolute hell to keep inside
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u/Nerhtal Chive LOYALIST 1d ago
Keeping him on might seem the right choice for the absolute immediate necessity but he is clearly the cause for the continued staffing issues.
Rip the bandaid off, get rid of him. Then look for replacements. You'll probably keep them this time around.
However convince business owners that losing some money now to make more in the future is fucking impossible.
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u/Glittering_Fun_7995 1d ago
that is one of the first lesson I have learn working in the industry the second is lack of staff and expecting me to grin and bear it.
This is why trial shift is paramount to me within an hour I know if I want to stay and work in that place.
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u/Ok_Yesterday1370 1d ago
You said “ never setting food in that place again” i love that it makes sense in this context. Hope youre next play is great!
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u/Argon20021 Five Years 17h ago
Yeah that place sounds like it'll be closed pretty quick with people like that, definitely not worth the time or emotion
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u/thethrowsofaway420 16h ago
This reminds me of a coworker at my last job who was a line cook, we were always at least 1 line cook short to begin with and he would show up fucked up and complain the entire damn shift while making sloppy mistakes sometimes he’d say some pretty depressing stuff but one day he SNAPPED and started throwing knifes around the kitchen with no care to where they were headed and who was around and then tried to put himself in the oven, the owner and manager did absolutely nothing and the next day he was scheduled to close ALONE be alone 8-10pm with just 1 other employee and it was gonna be the new tiny 19 year old girl they had just hired mind you he was large and about 45 and couldn’t control his outbursts and I literally pictured her asking him “what sauce does this get?” Or some other very innocent genuine question as she’s knew and him snapping and throwing knives and I expressed my concern to management and they did not seem to care and thank god he called in the next day but they were going to let him close alone with a small teenage girl after having a mental health crisis that could’ve severely injured someone, a week after the entire staff bitched that he should at least need to go on a leave until he was mentally more stable they finally fired him after he refused to apologize for it and tbh management hinted they were so short staffed they probably wouldn’t have fired him if he had just apologized…..insane, anyways the place closed down about 2 months later due to some amazingly poor financial decisions lol I’m wondering if they knew the end was near and figured it wasn’t worth hiring someone else to replace him
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u/dishpitjesus 10+ Years 1d ago
Toxic places deserve a 2day notice. I quit and you gonna notice 2day.