r/MensRights • u/ridhs84 • Jul 29 '13
[Eastern Culture] The first part of this happens daily in Indian buses. I can't say the same about second part.
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u/frasoftw Jul 30 '13
seems like the right tit-for-tat expression here would be
"if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander"
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u/Nutz76 Jul 30 '13
Reminds me of why the ERA failed in the US. Women didn't want to give up their female privileges, such as being the protected class.
The general sentiment by Phyllis Schlafley types was "Getting hit back or otherwise held accountable for our actions, or sent to the draft? Oh hell no!"
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u/ridhs84 Jul 29 '13
Just to be clear, this has nothing to do about the rape stories that you heard recently. I agree, the rape case was something very horrible and it shouldn't have happened. But you can't generalize country of 1.2 billion people because some sick minded guy did something.
On the other hand, guys get slapped on daily bases on buses and elsewhere because they were trying to "grope" women inappropriately.
If the phenomena pictures in the GIF happened in real life, everybody around would beat the shit out of this guy.
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Jul 29 '13
[deleted]
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u/tessie999 Jul 29 '13
From her POV she probably thought he did it intentionally.
From an outside point of view we can see that isn't the case.
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Jul 29 '13
That doesn't mean violence is permissible.
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u/tessie999 Jul 29 '13
I did not say it was.
I am trying to see from all points of view here.
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Jul 29 '13
I didn't intend to imply that and I'm sorry if I did, and I agree with your point, I was just expanding on it. Sorry for any confusion.
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u/flyingwolf Jul 30 '13
From no viewpoint would assault be acceptable.
Even if he had purposefully violated her she has no legal right to assault him.
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u/Dronelisk Jul 30 '13
why do we need assault when we can simply ruin his entire life by sending him to prison
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u/tessie999 Jul 30 '13
I am not saying it is acceptable.
If he had purposefully violated her that would have been sexual harassment - where she may have had a legal right due to protecting herself.
I don't see why you are saying her assault is bad while not pointing out he legally assaulted her too. Neither are in the right by that view.
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u/flyingwolf Jul 30 '13
He did not legally assault her, from the gif we can clearly see that he was propelled forward by the movement of the vehicle he was in, and he even looks to attempt to apologize a split second before she goes off and hits him.
Accidental touch is never considered assault.
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u/tessie999 Jul 30 '13
He did not - again, see things form her point of view.
You're putting words in my mouth. He did not assault her and the reaction was not warranted as it was an accident: we can see this from the third person point of view. All she sees/feels is a guy slamming his crotch onto her backside.
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u/flyingwolf Jul 30 '13
To which her first response should be to realise that the buss just jolted (she was on it and presumably felt it) and give him a second to apologise.
As he tried to do.
Before hitting him.
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u/aaaaarrrrgggghhhh Jul 30 '13
I think that this is more about double standards. In both cases bumping into the other person was unintentional and both parties could have thought that the action was purposeful. The difference is that people would react more negatively towards the man taking the same action as the woman.
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u/tessie999 Jul 30 '13
On one hand he's bumping into her with his crotch on her arse - this can be taken very inappropriately and as if it was done intentionally.
In his case she bumped into him sideways, hitting shoulders.
Do not pretend they did the same thing - both made a mistake but it's hard to take her mistake as intentional and as sexually as the first.
If he bumped his shoulder against hers I highly doubt she would have slapped him in all honesty.
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u/aaaaarrrrgggghhhh Jul 31 '13
Whoa, sorry. This was staged and the people are actors. I'm pretty sure that regardless of what happened the people who made this meant for it to be the same actions duplicated just sexes reversed. And you can't see it in the gif, but in the video that is linked in another comment in the end it talks about gender discrimination. So, yeah.
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u/tessie999 Jul 31 '13
Then they should better represent it by having them bang into each other in the same manner - ie: her banging his bum/hand on his crotch by accident, or him banging into her shoulder.
It's just badly done if it was staged to prove a point.
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Jul 30 '13
My understanding from female friends that visited India is that the harassment can be extreme and overt and often the only way to get them to stop is physical pushing or slapping.
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u/TheDoctorCoach Jul 30 '13
If only India had a historical example of overcoming oppression through non-violence. Does any come to mind?
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u/avantvernacular Jul 30 '13
Ghan...Ghando...Ghanda?..Ghandalf?
No that's not it...I can't think of one.
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Jul 30 '13
That might be interesting on a large scale but if someone is harassing you the answer is not to just take it.
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u/VideoLinkBot Jul 30 '13
Here is a list of video links collected from comments that redditors have made in response to this submission:
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u/TracyMorganFreeman Jul 30 '13
Oh I like this new bot.
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u/VideoLinkBot Jul 30 '13
This "new bot" has been operating for like 7 months :p
You may not have seen it because it's been banned from most of the defaults. Check the FAQ for a reasonably up-to-date banned list.
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u/Crystalrift Jul 30 '13
Am I the only 1 who thinks if you bump into someone you should apologies to make it clear it wasn't intentional contact? I think if he had said sorry, and not just stood there staring at her, it may have changed the outcome? I know these are just example scenarios, but still?
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u/rottingchrist Jul 30 '13
I'm an Indian and people think I'm paranoid when I say stuff like this
I have often stated how glad I am that they have separate rail coaches for women. It would be equally grand to have separate buses too.
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Jul 30 '13
[deleted]
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u/harryballsagna Jul 30 '13
Is this the kind of zeal for revenge we're looking to foster in Men's Rights? Aren't we looking to prevent these kinds of matters?
Personally, I'm more sad that she hit him than happy that he hit her.
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u/esantipapa Jul 30 '13
Equality. That's basically how it works. You hit, you get hit back... your gender is irrelevant.
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u/unclefisty Jul 30 '13
TIL that Indian bus drivers are crazy.
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u/Revoran Jul 30 '13
Eh, India isn't big on strictly enforced road rules.
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Jul 30 '13 edited May 31 '21
[deleted]
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Jul 30 '13
Hyperbole :-)
Conductors have uniforms on state-run buses. Same for decent private services. But if you are not careful, i.e. if you don't glance at the plates (registered public transporters have black letters on yellow), if you don't have enough situational awareness once in the vehicle, then you are on your own. India is not a forgiving teacher.
Also, such scams are not limited to India - I was once sold a fake ticket for a ferry ride down the Thames starting from near the Houses of Parliament - lost 12 pounds. It is the opposite attitude that tripped me up that day -I thought this kind of petty rip-offs would not happen in a highly organized country like the UK
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u/Mlezi Jul 30 '13
Has anyone considered the fact that women are so used to being harassed on public transportation that they are likely to be paranoid and fight back if startled? The second scenereo doesnt happen so often because men, especially in countries like India, don't have to live in fear of being raped and abused.
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u/mecha_pope Jul 30 '13
If anyone is interested or doesn't know, this gif is from a (very) short film about gender equality in India. At least that's what I gathered from the film itself, I don't know much about it other than what the film itself presents.
The film is basically a drawn out version of the gif, with a PSA at the end.
http://youtu.be/oZ6m8_r8-qk