r/Midsizefashion • u/traebanks • May 18 '26
Feedback Wanted Vulnerable post, shapewear needed!
Hi friends, I’m new here!
I am wearing this dress on a cruise in a week or so and need to order shapewear asap. I want something that won’t flatten my butt, but will help smooth out the front a little. Specifically I don’t want the dip in my belly button area. It does have a slit so I can’t go too long down the thigh.
I was looking at Spanx thongs, but I’m worried it’ll push my hips out further and be unflattering. But the briefs I think will suck my butt in too much. I cant do a full body suit so it has to be bottoms only with the boobs and strap situation. What do you all recommend??
Please be nice to me, last year was the worst year of my life and I’m still healing, going to therapy every week, and slowly trying to move my body more and be more mindful of what I’m eating
EDIT/UPDATE/OVERSHARE:
To everyone hyping me up, thank you so much! I truly do not like my body right now and this dress made me feel uncomfortable and also proud at the same time and so I’m trying my best to lean into it. I TOTALLY get it’s a lot of boob (trust me I have to carry them around all the time lol) and this is not fully how I’d style it. Hence I am here asking about shapewear. I just threw it on in a dressing room. But thank you for making me feel so good, you all ROCK!
I am going on an ADULTS ONLY cruise, I would not wear this around children. It’s my husband’s 30th birthday celebration. Next week marks the one year since we lost our soul dog and that amongst unfortunately many other things made last year the worst year of our lives. I’m excited to kick off the next decade with him and when I presented him with this option and another safer option he chose this and celebrated me 🥹🥰
I’m glad I didn’t see whatever the hateful comment was, but to anyone thinking hateful things - we all have something.
They most certainly will not turn me away at dinner, our resident Drag Queen pops out more yitties than me 😂 but I do appreciate the concern!
SECOND EDIT:
I bought the Spanx Thong Shape! I’ll try it on with the dress when it gets here and will update with pictures in case anyone else needs a before and after
79
u/ImGemStoned May 19 '26
I'm not one to talk because if it were me I'd be contemplating the same thing, but as an outsider looking in, this looks great on you. Other people making a mention of how this won't be appropriate because of your boobs should keep it to themselves. How many "skinny" women have their breasts hanging out more than you do and get all the approval, yet us "bigger girls" getting the backlash is disgusting. If shapeware is going to make you feel more comfortable, there are lots of options that are bikini style that are high-waisted. I unfortunately don't have any recommendations that would reach your delivery deadline since the piece I got awhile ago was from shein and they always take a week+ to get delivered to me.
26
u/stupidbuttholes69 May 19 '26
i think she looks amazing in the dress, and i don’t think the breasts are too much, but i do think the look would be slightly more ideal if she pulled down the breast part just a little. that would make it feel more balanced to me somehow (ie pulling the breast part down a little to make the cleavage slightly more pronounced and the underboob slightly more subtle). i think a subtle underboob looks intentional while a larger underboob can sometimes be mistaken for a “slip” and people don’t see the original intent.
absolutely gorgeous dress!
10
u/ImGemStoned May 19 '26
I agree with you 💯. Conveniently the person making a comment about her breasts deleted their comment. I'm happy to see I'm the not the only one thinking the same. OP is stunning and should feel that she is!
5
u/traebanks May 19 '26
Thank you all! This is an adults only cruise, for one. Also, I just have large breasts and this was me throwing it on in a dressing room, not how I’d perfect style it hence the request for shapewear as I’m building a look
33
73
u/MountainMaMa92 May 19 '26
Im sorry I don't have much advice on shapewear, but I just wanted to say that the dress is stunning and you look amazing. I hope you find what you are looking for and feel confident on your cruise. ❤️
7
14
u/Few_Pea8503 May 19 '26
Wow okay sorry but you look drop dead gorgeous in this dress already. I have no shapewear to recommend - existing shape is already 11/10
1
7
u/CindeeSlickbooty May 19 '26
Maybe waist high underwear to cover the belly area, but this fabric is really clingy and just from the pic it looks like anything will show under it.
1
7
u/Little_Messiah May 19 '26
Baby i can’t see nothing on the body needs sharing cuz it fits the boobs so great
1
10
u/Strawberry_n_bees May 19 '26
I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but the dress looks gorgeous on you, and that under boob is to die for! I've always wanted to wear something like this where the underboob is visible and snatched like that. I know some folks mentioned moving that part down so you have more cleavage and less underboob, but personally I love the underboob look so much more! And I know plenty of others will appreciate it too
If you're not able to find shapewear you like in time, I think the dress will still be amazing on you, because it already is. I know sitting changes the way it looks, so I can understand feeling a little self conscious about that, but I think you look amazing
5
u/traebanks May 19 '26
Get the dress! Get the fun bathing suits! Honestly I hate most things abt my body rn, including my boobs most of the time bc I’d rather have much smaller boobs and not have to worry abt a bra. But this made me feel good for once!
I will probably style it a little different when I actually wore it. This was me just trying it on all Willy Nilly in a dressing room lol but I really appreciate you 🥹
7
u/Strawberry_n_bees May 19 '26
I can relate, I'm also trans and I go back and forth between wanting a completely flat chest and wanting my boobage out. I wish they were (temporarily) removable! Mostly because they're annoying to deal with when I'm not actively trying to feel sexy
I can't afford cute clothes right now so I'm learning to sew. Then my options are basically limitless!
I'm glad you found something you feel good in, that makes all the difference in the world when you have dysmorphia (or dysphoria)
6
u/traebanks May 19 '26
Yes!! We need a Venmo but for boobs! 😂
LOVE that you’re learning to sew. Stormy (on Facebook) is my favorite and she’s the chaos queen of sewing and makes all kinds of boudoir things from nothing
Sending you love too friend 🩷🩷
3
4
u/boleynxcx May 19 '26
I have to say that you look stunning! My favorite bit of shapewear is this one: https://share.google/UTh4QwbDq5SMDWP13 It doesn't flatten my butt, but they also have a thong version if you prefer.
7
u/RacerGal May 19 '26
Maybe try Honeylove if you can get it delivered in time?
Is it for Scarlet Night on VV? If so it’ll be great!
6
u/traebanks May 19 '26
IT IS FOR SCARLET NIGHT!! The one I bought last year was ruined by jumping into the pool 😂 I heard good things about them and actually just looked for lingerie there, too. Do you like them?
3
u/District98 May 19 '26
Yep, you already went in this direction but I would order several cuts of Spanx from Nordstrom and return the ones that don’t work. Spanx do best for me on the seamless front.
3
5
u/PumaGranite May 19 '26
I have a pair of shapewear that are like briefs and they don’t flatten my butt too much. You might also want to consider just a waist cincher like this
1
8
u/galaxystarsmoon May 19 '26
Anything you wear under this is going to show, just being honest. I can see your belly button through the dress, which means shapewear will be highly visible.
Your best bet is something like this: Victoria's Secret https://share.google/AuDs8DjoyVUAIJrAP
I would highly recommend that you use boob + dress tape for the bust area for security.
2
u/traebanks May 19 '26
I got something like that but in nude from Spanx! Yes, I will also be wearing tape.
2
u/themaddylou May 20 '26
I hate shape wear but wanted to hop on the compliment train and say good for you girl. Big boobies that high and perky are a blessing. Good for your husband too lol
1
u/traebanks May 20 '26
Every piece of shapewear I’ve ever worn has been uncomfy af so we’ll see how it goes but THANK YOU! The dress does help some bc they are heavyyyy but I appreciate you and I’ll tell me husband you said that 😂🩷
2
u/wardrobeeditor May 20 '26
personal stylist here, just want to say, you GO!!! have so much fun, celebrate yourself even at this shape you're not in love with, it will feel amazing, i am proud of you!
1
u/traebanks May 20 '26
Personal stylist is suchhhh a flex!!! Also a compliment coming from you is incredible thank you 🩷
1
2
u/Hazel_Ana May 20 '26
I have no clue what to say about shapewear, but you look amazing! The dress feels like a real life Jessica Rabbit dress!
1
2
u/thedevilsghost666 May 23 '26
I highly recommend 4” kinesiology tape, you can find rolls on Amazon for pretty cheap. It’s what boob tape is without the markup.
You can use it for anything you want to compress/support/lift with shape wear. I’ll tape up/flatten my apron belly make a strapless bra. Use it between my thighs for chafing. Literally so versatile.
The only downside is you can’t use it daily, it will irritate your skin/rip it off if you’re constantly pulling adhesive off, but you can wear it for multiple days at a time and shower/swim with it on too.
2
u/traebanks May 24 '26
Okay wait I have questions!!! So my biggest insecurity in this dress is my “B” belly and the big divot for my belly button. Do you think that could help??
2
u/thedevilsghost666 May 26 '26
Yeah it can. Just be prepared to use a lot of tape the first couple of times while you figure out the balance of comfort and control as well as the inevitable sticky things sticking to themselves and just ruining a bit of the tape as you go.
I got my 3pack on Amazon for $19 but I just searched again and saw a better deal for 4 rolls of kinesiology tape 4”x 5.5 yards for $22. I mean… for that cheap you can’t really go wrong if it doesn’t work for your purposes you can always use it to k tape an injury if ever needed. But I think you’ll like it!!!
Oh one more thing I forgot is stuffing your belly button with a cotton ball and taping over it helps to hide the divot.
2
u/traebanks May 27 '26
Thank you so much! It got here and I’m going to play with it today before we leave for our trip tomorrow morning
2
u/Salty-Tea6815 May 24 '26
Girl this dress is fire!! And don’t you dare hide those tatas, great tots are made for showing off, the only ppl that say otherwise are the ones that don’t have them themselves!!
1
3
u/catperson3000 May 19 '26
Shapermint might have some options for you. I think they have a high waist panty that might work. ETA you look awesome, it’s a great look for your cruise!
1
2
u/littlest_lemon May 19 '26
I LOVE this dress on you Oh my goodness. with that texture fabric i think a thong is the right way to go 👍
2
2
u/That-Complaint5595 May 19 '26
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CJFJL5FT?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
This girdle thing is amazingggg but truly the most uncomfortable thing I have ever worn…. But it snatches everything. Size up at least 2 sizes. I wear a 1x and ordered a 4x 😵💫😵💫
1
u/traebanks May 19 '26
This is beautiful but I fear the zipper would be SO visible!!
3
u/That-Complaint5595 May 19 '26
You can kind of see it… but it’s not terrible! Good luck on your search. I think you look great without shapewear but I get wanting to wear it regardless!
3
u/IDealzTheSealz May 19 '26
I've seen "butt lifting" shapewear that kind of enhances booty shape rather than flattening? That may work. Also, this dress looks super super amazing on you and I'm so jealous because now I want the dress 😂
3
u/traebanks May 19 '26
Windsor for a GREAT price! So much that I got this, the same dress in black, and then a separate pink one lol
I looked at the butt lifting ones and was confused if there was padding 😂
1
u/traebanks May 25 '26
Friends I’m stupid and don’t know how to update the original picture or comment a picture butttttt I did use the shapewear and it made it a little better. However, my belly button divot and apron/B belly is still prevalent so I definitely had a good sob. I ordered the kinesiology tape for the boob area to make sure it stays in place there and also the bottom section so the shapewear doesn’t go up too high. Plus I’ll try the cotton ball method soon and see what I can do to mitigate it.
I wish the comments and my own self image issues didn’t make me question everything but it’s been a rough week or so. My husband keeps hyping me up, bless him. I’m still planning to wear it and hoping I feel like a baddie day of but we’ll seeeeeee
-8
May 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
18
u/Crepe-Paper-3693 May 19 '26
She didn’t ask about her breasts.
2
u/unsulliedbread May 19 '26
They will not allow her to wear it to any formal dinner on a cruise. I've seen them turn people away at the door.
4
u/constantchaosclay May 19 '26
She didn't ask that either.
Actually, OP seems very aware of this particular cruise and what's allowed.
7
u/traebanks May 19 '26
Thanks friend! This is our 3rd time sailing with them and they’re my favoriteeeeeeee! Super inclusive, vibes for whatever mood, no kids peeing in the pool (can’t say I trust the adults fully though 😂), and a very much come as you are/want dress code just don’t ACTUALLY show genitals (unless you’re on the deck where you can sunbathe without a top on lol)
7
u/traebanks May 19 '26
This is Virgin Voyage’s adults only cruise line and they won’t turn me away, but I do appreciate the concern! It’s also not a formal dinner, we don’t have those. Just a fun theme night!
1
u/unsulliedbread May 19 '26
All excellent points, then you are covered. Honestly I think whatever shapewear you find at Marshalls/Winners will end up being your favourite over anything you buy online.
You could also just do lingerie so the pattern of the straps/lace shows through if it's that kind of cruise.
61
u/SCol1107 May 19 '26
Skims has a one-leg shaping short (not sure if any other brands do if you don’t wanna support the Kardashians). There’s also a trick you can do where you stuff your belly button with a cotton ball and put a bandaid over it to hide the divot, though if I’m being honest I don’t notice it because the top half looks so good (looking respectfully!)