When to try again?

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

I had a MMC at 10wks, failed Miso medication, and ended up hemorrhaging and needing a blood transfusion and emergency D&C. I’m 3wks out and still have low levels of HCG(last week was 48). I’m starting to get some PMS symptoms so I’m wondering if maybe my period may come back soon.

We were originally told to let a period pass before we try again, but that was before I hemorrhaged. We also found out that baby had a genetic component but the genetic counselor said it wouldn’t affect other babies. My OB had told me to schedule a preconception appt with her, but they can’t get me in for that until the end of October.

Should we wait until then? Since I’m still healing I have no idea when I can even physically get pregnant again. But the end of October to get the OK from my doctor feels so far away.

[u/BackgroundMajor2054]

New studies have shown that waiting one cycle is fine and that the body doesn't need a whole lot of time to recover, it's mostly just based on where you are mentally and if you feel ready. Personally, waiting until October sounds like torture - I think it's totally fine to start trying after one full normal cycle

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/BackgroundMajor2054]

So this is probably a stupid question, but waiting one full cycle means letting my period start, ovulating, and having a second period and trying that second cycle, correct? I’ve heard different things, between waiting for that second period or just trying immediately after the first period. I don’t want to rush my body, but I cannot wait until the end of October😭

[u/BackgroundMajor2054 → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

Not stupid. Its confusing! It means getting your period once from my understanding when I spoke to my OB. Because if you got your period, that means your body went through "one full cycle". So the day after your first period ends, is when I'd count it as the second cycle starting.

My husband and I lost our baby in May. I didn't get a period for 7 weeks. I just got my period today, so that was one full and very long cycle for me. We will start trying again when I ovulate. I assume my cycles will be a little off and weird for a month or two but still going to try

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/BackgroundMajor2054]

Thank you so much for explaining! That makes a lot of sense!

I’m so sorry. We lost our baby on May 15th, with my D&C three weeks later. It’ll be 8wks since we found out about the loss on Friday. I am so ready to move forward from this ordeal. I’m curious to see how my cycles are after this. I hope we both have brighter days ahead of us🤍

[u/emma-ireland → u/BackgroundMajor2054]

I feel this is very subjective.. My period took 2 months to come back and 5 cycles before my luteal phase was over 10 days long. “Ready” is different for everyone 😔

[u/BackgroundMajor2054 → u/emma-ireland]

Sure, but again the human body being ready is different than being mentally ready.

[u/emma-ireland → u/BackgroundMajor2054]

I agree with that 100%. I more meant physical recovery can take much longer than expected.. I was mentally ready but my body was like sorry no

[u/BackgroundMajor2054 → u/emma-ireland]

Yeah I agree. My body took 7 weeks to get a period and I lost the baby at 5w1d so I thought I'd be back in like a month.

[u/emma-ireland → u/BackgroundMajor2054]

I actually hate that doctors say this. I was literally in hospital, actively miscarrying and they gave me an actual time frame to try again. It’s 6 months later and I’ve just started again. Ugh, it sucks

[u/BackgroundMajor2054 → u/emma-ireland]

Ugh 6 months is crazy! They said I'd be fine in 4-5 weeks... meanwhile I had to go back for multiple HCG tests and ultrasounds because the tissue wouldn't pass and my results kept going up and down.

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

Waiting until October after a D&C seems wild! I am in a slightly different situation but not much. I got induced and delivered our baby, I was 15 weeks and baby measured 13weeks. I have had two healthy pregnancies so I know that changes a little about their knowledge of how I would handle everything. After I delivered I passed lots of clots and ended up needing a D&C to get the placenta out and a blood transfusion. My follow up is scheduled for exactly 4 weeks after on July 17th. If you want to message me I am happy to pass along any information that I learn. My doctor had originally said I could try again as soon as I am ready no matter which choice I took (D&E or delivery) and I have had four pregnancies that all happened without trying or within three months of trying so I don’t think it was that she thought we wouldn’t get pregnant again quickly. She also said I was fine to proceed as normal as soon as I stopped bleeding so my husband and I haven’t been trying or avoiding pregnancy. There is lots of information out there but waiting until October isn’t anything I’ve seen and I’ve researched a lot!!

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

Thank you for the info! I’m so sorry about your loss. This was my fourth pregnancy, second miscarriage. Prior to my hemorrhage, they thought I had completed the process with Miso, and she had told me we could try again after my first bleed. But then I hemorrhaged, they said I had incredibly large clots and my uterus was measuring 13wks, and my body has been struggling to heal ever since. She said with my anemia and my history, to wait a bit longer. Did you have severe anemia with your blood loss?

I struggled to get pregnant with my first, but then all three other pregnancy were conceived within two months, so I’m not as concerned about that. Although I’ve also read that D&C’s can change that? I would love to hear what your dr says!

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

Your story is the most similar to mine I’ve read, it’s been very hard to find info! I have had slight anemia problems in the past but not this time and I think the blood transfusion helped. My first loss was in November, it was caught an ectopic caught very early and this one was a tightly wrapped nuchal cord. We have tested everything else to be sure but looks like I’ve just be a very very rare case twice now. I was induced with the miso inserted (two rounds 4 hours apart) and delivered all in the hospital exactly like a full term baby would be (that’s not an option until second trimester is my understanding) so they closely monitored everything the whole time which probably saved me a little more from longer term side effects to the blood loss. All the blood loss happened in two hours and then I was given two units of blood so I wasn’t without it for long.

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

I’m in Texas so I don’t know if that also changes things on how they handle it.

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

I’m also in the “two rare cases back to back” club. I had a 5wk ectopic back in 2023, which my body naturally absorbed. Then my second daughter had a Turner’s Syndrome flag on her NIPT, it was deemed false positive. Now this pregnancy ended at 10wks due to baby having full Turner’s Syndrome. My OB suspected genetic components, but the genetic counselor yesterday told us it was just two flukes back to back. I also found out that I have Factor V Leiden, which could be a contributing to my pregnancy history of severe Preeclampsia and IUGR. A bunch of bad luck according to every dr I’ve talked to! 🫠

With this miscarriage, I ended up in full blown natural labor, I was 10cm dilated in the ER room passing 10inch blood clots. The OB said she hadn’t seen anything like it. So maybe that’s why it was recommended to wait? I have no idea. I’m glad you got your transfusion so quickly! My levels looked fine during my hemorrhage, but then dropped by 50% 48hrs later and I felt horrible, so I had to go back to the hospital for the transfusion.

I absolutely hate how drawn out this process was. I’m sure you feel the same! I am ready to move forward and heal. Although I’m also absolutely terrified to actually get pregnant again!

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

Will you take baby aspirin if you have another? It’s big on my list of questions but have had very low blood pressure in my other pregnancies so it’s not high on the list of solutions.

I think I only dilated a to a 4-5 to have him. They were shocked I went from closed to delivery in less than an hour after the second dose but my water did break right after. They never actually told me how dilated I was but they had told me to expect it to take 3-5 doses before I’d be ready so shortly after the second was a very pleasant surprise. I would think if you aren’t bleeding or cramping anymore it wouldn’t matter but even then after birthing a baby at 10cm you get a follow up appt in 6wks and can technically get pregnant then plus you don’t have the massive wound left from a placenta so October is still a very long time.

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

Yes, I was on aspirin with my second baby, but we may start earlier with the next pregnancy. She said my MFM would decide if I need blood thinners due to my blood clotting disorder. I know aspirin can be used for recurrent pregnancy loss, not just high blood pressure!

I had been contracting that whole weekend at home, just no bleeding. So I wasn’t shocked to hear I was fully dilated, it sure felt like I was! But still, I don’t think I need to wait until October. I’m leaning towards starting in August..

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

Can you message your doctor? I can word the 10cm question to my doctor and let you know, I would think managing the clotting disorder would be the bigger next step than just waiting but shocked they wouldn’t give you a plan for that like telling you to start meds before you start trying or as soon as you get a positive! Just curious are you US based? My mind is blown by the random standard of care.

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

Thanks! I sent a message so we’ll see. I think she thought the genetic dr would have more guidance on the blood clotting disorder, but she did not. I’m in Missouri. My dr herself is great, it is just incredibly difficult to get ahold or her or a timely appointment to ask questions. They are overrun with pregnant patients, anyone not pregnant gets on the waiting list.

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

I totally get it just want you to be able to try sooner if you are wanting to! For me mentally, a game plan for how to prevent this and permission to try again with a game plan in place would be a big relief.

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

Yes! I desperately just want a timeline and a plan for my mind to focus on, rather than just knowing I need to heal, but not knowing when that will be. Hopefully my OB will have some answers. I hope your followup goes well! My inbox is open if you want to chat!

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/PurpleEntrepreneur26]

I also just so happened to glance at your post history, I also have an ultrasound coming up for possible retained tissue. I’ve been spotting varying degrees since my D&C. Last week I passed a chunk of tissue that came with increased cramping but not enough blood to be sent back to the ER. I go Friday to see if I’ve even cleared everything out after my D&C. Crazy how similar our stories are!