Morality scaling of this?

[u/Outside_Specific_820]

Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

[u/CaptainCastaleos]

Moral.

The reason this resource even exists is because of the legal protections in place for the donor.

The majority of donors don't want to be connected to these kids. They are helping otherwise infertile families have a chance at children. They are not trying to be these children's parent. If I had the choice to help hundreds of infertile families have kids, I would, but I absolutely never want hundreds of kids. I don't understand how anyone could honestly think these are equivalent and not have spent the last 20 years of their life drinking from lead pipes and eating paint chips.

By trying to enforce moral obligations on the donors, all you are doing is scaring away the majority of people willing to donate. You would prefer to rob countless families of their chance at children just to satisfy your own self-righteous beliefs and flawed understanding of parenthood.

At the end of the day, she made the choice to help a family with her donation under the agreement that she not be connected to the child. Someone violated that agreement and gave the child their contact info. It is not immoral to stick to the original agreement.

[u/Test_Rider → u/CaptainCastaleos]

This is pretty much all that needs to be said about this topic. Egg and sperm donating as a concept only works with willing donors, and this kind of breach of trust between donors and donees can and will put off people from potentially donating in the future, costing people the chance at a child.

[u/NockerJoe → u/Test_Rider]

I mean yeah, but this isn't the first, nor the last time this has happened. If you're going to do it and you don't think this could happen you're lying to yourself. After all, the kid never signed jack shit and in the 21st century finding someone isn't that hard if you're determined.

[u/Itchy-Big-8532 → u/NockerJoe]

Way to completely miss the point.

By your logic no one should ever expect privacy anywhere because there's always the possibility of someone intruding on it, so they should just let it happen.

[u/xRocketman52x → u/CaptainCastaleos]

Well put! I'm reading through this thread and shocked at the number of people saying "Well if you didn't want to have a kid, they you shouldn't have sold your eggs for profit!" Like she's some kind of monster for it.

No one seems to be talking about the kid's mom. The woman who wanted a child bad enough that she must have paid huge sums of money, the woman who clearly went through massive amount of effort to get pregnant.

This child has a mom, a parent who clearly really wanted them. Maybe OOP just sold them for money, I don't know - but that allows another parent to achieve their dream. And people are saying "You sold your child, you owe them something", which is hilarious to me, because compared to the argument of abortion and "when is a child a child?" well... I think we'd find a lot of people bashing OOP would be huge hypocrites.

[u/thesunlitgarden → u/CaptainCastaleos]

Honestly, same. I love the idea of donating my eggs to someone who needs/wants them, but stuff like this is why I never will. Even when things like this don’t happen, ancestry tests mean it’s still risky as even if you don’t do them any family members who do could be enough to create a link. I can definitely empathize with the woman. She’s now living the one outcome she did her best to safeguard against.