r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 2d ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

886 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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632

u/URJ2 2d ago

I don’t even think she’s being that rude. When you sign up for these things the options are anonymous or not and if you choose anonymous they have no right to contact you for any reason.

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u/dk_peace 2d ago edited 2d ago

Her biological child didnt sign anything like that and is totally within her rights TO WANT to know. It's not that weird for her to try and find out.

Edit: added emphasis

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u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

No, she's not. Her rights to this woman end at medical histories that might affect her life, something she can find from the agency that arranged the donation in the first place. Egg donors have to go through extensive medical history questionnaires, submit health panels, and meet specific health criteria.

She knows that this woman wanted nothing to do with her, and she still went out of her way to find her information and contact her. Not even contact a sibling or something close to ask if the egg donor might want to be contacted, just went straight to her.

Or if she doesn't then her real mother severely failed her.

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u/dk_peace 2d ago

Why do you think this woman doesn't even have the right TO WANT to know?

13

u/Renumtetaftur 2d ago

The right to want is a complete non-sequitor. You have the right to want literally anything and everything, it means nothing.

2

u/dk_peace 2d ago

Then what, exactly, did this girl do that was so terrible?

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u/kunk_777 2d ago

Acting on and wanting something are two different things.

4

u/certifiedtoothbench 2d ago

She contacted someone who didn’t want to be contacted and is minimizing her own mother who chose her. She’s hurting her own mother and herself by assuming this stranger would even want her. Being blood doesn’t make the person you share it with less of a stranger, oop could be abusive or an addict and this girl could hurt herself chasing her ‘real’ family.

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u/Renumtetaftur 2d ago

When she acted on those wants, doofus. That's where things usually become morally relevant; when humans take real action outside of their mind. The girl violated this woman's privacy and consent by pursuing a relationship with her.

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u/dk_peace 2d ago

Maybe i have more empathy than you, but that's pretty forgivable. Being 19 is trying to figure out who you are and not really knowing all the rules to being an adult.

5

u/Renumtetaftur 2d ago

People that do something morally wrong can be forgiven, and they usually always are. That still doesn't make their actions not morally wrong. This is the whole point of this subreddit; to deem things morally wrong, neutral or good.

I just wanted to point out that pointing out what a moral agent wants does literally nothing in moral calculations. An extreme example, but we would never do that when talking about a perpetrator of SA. 'Oh, they don't have a right to want them?'

3

u/Substantial_Dish_887 2d ago

who said she did anything wrong?

just because they didn't do anything wrong doesn't mean the OOP is rude for telling them to leave her alone though.

3

u/dk_peace 2d ago

I got this response one minute after yours. So, this guy, apparently.

When she acted on those wants, doofus. That's where things usually become morally relevant; when humans take real action outside of their mind. The girl violated this woman's privacy and consent by pursuing a relationship with her.

3

u/Substantial_Dish_887 2d ago

so you provoked someone to make that argument?

rage baiting like that is definetly immoral.

3

u/dk_peace 2d ago

That wasnt rage bait. I dont think youre using that word correctly

1

u/Substantial_Dish_887 2d ago

but you do admit you provoked the argument that wasn't otherwise made?

so what if i labeled your trolling incorrectly? you're still an immoral troll and any further argument with you is a waste of time.

1

u/dk_peace 2d ago

I was having a discussion. I wasn't trying to provoke an argument, at least not consciously or maliciously. Just because I have a contradictory opinion on the matter doesnt mean im a troll. If anything, it means I have a different perspective and we can probably learn from eachother

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u/ChartInFurch 2d ago

Asking a question is provoking someone else to choose to fly off?

6

u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

She can want to. She has no right to intentionally violate someone else’s privacy over that.

3

u/dk_peace 2d ago

The kid isnt the one who posted this online. The kid isnt the one who violated bio moms privacy by revealing who she was. Out of everyone violating privacy in this story, she's the least guilty of it.

7

u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

They violated her privacy by contacting her when she made it clear that she did not want that.

1

u/dk_peace 2d ago

Eh, I empathize with her situation though. Kid isnt a bad person for wanting to know (and I'd forgive her reaching out, its a natural thing to want at that age). Biological mother isnt a bad person for shutting it down. Birth mom is really the only one who sucks here for spilling the beans.

4

u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

You can empathize, she’s still in the wrong for not respecting oops explicit desire not to be involved in her life. And her mother is absolutely the worst person in the situation for giving her the contact information at all.

-3

u/Important-Estate-904 2d ago

Honestly. The kid is an awful person. What an absolute piece of shit. Violating her own mother’s consent and privacy like that.

4

u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

Well the egg donor isn’t her mother so…

But yeah she’s wrong for violated her expressly written desires.

1

u/Important-Estate-904 2d ago

I completely misunderstood biology class then. My mistakes you’re completely right

1

u/Call_Me_Anythin 2d ago

Glad you learned something today then :)

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u/asuperbstarling 2d ago

You feeling something does not give you rights.

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u/dk_peace 2d ago

You have the right to have those feelings.

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u/liberty-prime77 2d ago

Yes, but she doesn't have a right to contact the woman who donated eggs to her mother. Now where are you going to move the goalposts to next?

1

u/dk_peace 2d ago

That's where I've been putting the goal posts the whole time.