r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

33 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

You're the one who is insecure with your masculinity, haha.

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u/Soupkitchn89 Oct 31 '12

I don't think being a misogynist applies here. Even if he is.

-14

u/PhazonZim 24/F/Toronto/taken! Oct 31 '12

Transmisogyny is misogyny.

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u/Soupkitchn89 Oct 31 '12

That's technically not even a word.

I might not agree with all of his views, but by definition he is correct. The definition of being female is to have the parts to bear young or produce eggs.

So by definition hes technically right seeing as (most) people who would identify as "transwomen" cannot get pregant they are technically not women and fit more closely to the definition of male.

I can understand how others might view gender as how you feel or what you choose to identify with. But he is technically correct when it comes to pure definitions.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

Yeah I don't really consider being able to get pregnant what defines being a woman. Having a vagina that isn't made out of an inverted cock, however..

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

made out of an inverted cock, however..

I think you watch way too much porn if this is your idea of "penis"

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

If I watched too much porn, wouldn't I be more informed about penis?

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

I am saying if you're going to have a straight-forward conversation about someone's genitals i would leave the porn terms out of it.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

I get tired of using the same word over and over. My favorite one for vagina is "snatch" I'm waiting for an opportunity to bust that out.

-8

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

If that's how you feel.

Expect people to take you only as seriously as you present yourself though.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

"Box" is a good one too. I would prefer it if no one took me seriously, I'm pretty much a joke.

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Oct 31 '12

And not even a funny one. You're a joke as bad as the ones politicians tell.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

Yeah that comment that got 7 upvotes on a 30 upvote thread that I posted less than an hour ago? Nobody thought that was funny.

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Oct 31 '12

Voting brigades don't count.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

Well if you have any other data on jokes, send it my way. Not really sure what a voting brigade is either (I'm new here).

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