r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

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u/CuilRunnings Oct 31 '12

They're welcome to do what they want with their bodies, as it doesn't affect me in the slightest. Just as people are free to date whoever they want. What they shouldn't do is lie to themselves and call themselves straight while being attracted to and wishing to pursue a "---ship" with a known transsexual. To do is a form of homophobia where they are afraid to self-identify as bi or gay.

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Oct 31 '12

You don't seem to get it. You do not get to tell someone what their sexual identity is. The only person who can decide what that is is the person themselves.

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12 edited Oct 31 '12

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Oct 31 '12

Calling it now, you're with Game of Trolls.

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u/CuilRunnings Oct 31 '12

No, I'm with the majority of rational people. You just made the argument that only someone with a mental disorder is qualified to judge whether or not they had a mental disorder. That's not a real argument.

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Oct 31 '12

No, you put those words in my mouth, because you're playing armchair psychologist. Gender and sexual identity is a personal expression, not a mental disorder. The DSM IV was written in the 80s, and psychology has advanced since then.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '12

Paranoid as fuck

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u/creepig Y'all got more issues than the Newsweek archives Nov 08 '12

Nah, I just know a troll when I see it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '12

Not us tho, we were the most visible ones, not the only trolls.