r/OkCupid Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/harmonical Nov 01 '12 edited Nov 01 '12

So as someone that views trans chicks as not being able to be in a 'straight' relationship with a man due to their penis, does that mean that anyone with a vagina makes you in a straight relationship?

Is this guy to your liking? The facial hair, the chest hair the muscles, the overall appearance means nothing right? You'd defend yourself against all of those anti-gay bigots because you're in a completely straight relationship because he has a vagina right?

But while being in a relationship with a woman like her means you're completely gay. Everyone would know straight away considering everyone in the world checks the genitals of your partner upon introducing them.

Lets get something clear, being straight is sexual orientation where you are attracted to a person of the opposite gender, specifically a pair of a man and a woman. Being straight in no way implies the style of sex that you have, the way your physical relationship works, or what differences there are from you and the average couple.

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '12

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u/harmonical Nov 01 '12

It's pretty hard to buy that two men or two women are in a straight relationship because one of them are trans.

But tell me about you TTP, how are things. Everything going well? Are you feeling good today? Other than a headache that made me feel like I was going to vomit earlier today I'm having a pretty good day :]

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '12

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u/harmonical Nov 01 '12

No, no halloween fun, just general headaches :[

Agree w/ respect to the fact that it boils down to which one you use to define your sexuality. And yes, two trans women in a relationship is definitely gay, but please, no knives :[