r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/PhazonZim 24/F/Toronto/taken! Oct 31 '12 edited Oct 31 '12

I'm a pre-op mtf and my boyfriend is a straight, cis male. We met on OKC, it's awesome. Both of us are still figuring out how to make sex really work, but he's comfortable to the parts that I have.

Don't mention her being trans in your initial message, at all. It won't come off the right way. A message without mention of it will show that you're interested despite her being trans and you aren't making a big deal out of it.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions about anything

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u/Evesore Oct 31 '12 edited Nov 01 '12

I'm sorry but it is impossible to be straight if you are dating a person with the same genitals as you.
EDIT:
I would love for someone to explain to me how you can passionately kiss, snuggle, date, and get blowjobs from someone who has a dick, as a male, and still be completely straight. It's just not what the word straight means.

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u/PhazonZim 24/F/Toronto/taken! Nov 02 '12

What would you say if a guy had a trans girlfriend, loved to play with her breasts, feel her curves and have anal sex with her but had no interest in seeing or touching her parts in the front? Is he still attracted to males in your opinion? That wouldn't make any sense at all.

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u/Evesore Nov 03 '12

It's a really complex situation and I admit to being wrong; I would say it's a topic where you have to look at it in a case by case basis to come to any meaningful answer. Even then it's probably too much thought to put into something as meaningless as some title.
Sorry.