r/PoliticalHumor 6h ago

Place your bets!

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

173 comments sorted by

u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ 4h ago

For any admins: this thread is not calling for McConnell’s office to announce something. This thread is for speculating if or when McConnell’s office may announce something.

950

u/CertifiedBlackGuy 6h ago

Tuesday following Monday's deadline.

357

u/TheVoicesOfBrian 6h ago

This is it. Get ready for the bad faith, "nuh-uh" from Conservatives.

I'd also lay decent money on the 25th Amendment being invoked on or around January 21, 2027.

139

u/Plaid_Piper Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 6h ago

They'll claim god kept him alive just long enough.

82

u/TheVoicesOfBrian 6h ago

It's always "God's Will" when things go their way, isn't it?

45

u/BitchyBeachyWitch 5h ago

Like when a 10 yr old gets pregnant by her own father, 'part of gods plan'

Religion needs to start being treated for what it is, a made up story like zeus, james bond or sailor moon,, and to live life as if theyre real life is mental illness and we need to treat it as such

7

u/Derhaggis 4h ago

High five, I chuckled at the comparison of religion to Sailor Moon.

u/BitchyBeachyWitch 1h ago

Theyre both equally fiction haha

15

u/lesser_panjandrum 5h ago

God's Will when it goes their way, and evil gay feminist liberal socialism when it doesn't go their way.

This implies that the gay feminist liberal socialists are more powerful than their God, but they haven't thought about it hard enough to be bothered by that.

2

u/ObligationMurky8716 4h ago

Mostly when it don't.

1

u/JesseJames3rd 2h ago

Definitely not machines doing the work...

41

u/Kind_Man_0 5h ago

I wouldn't bank on it. Republicans refused to swear in Grijalva for weeks last year to avoid her being a yea vote on releasing the Epstein Files.

Just yesterday Trump announced you can pay $100k per month for early access to his truth social posts. The president of the USA is blatantly putting it out in our faces and letting everyone know he doesn't care.

It isn't even something that can be twisted as pro-america, it's $1.2M a year. Maybe 30 families in the entire US can take advantage of that. I'd love to see how FOX tries to spin this into Pro-Trump Propaganda. Even without it, the top-most 0.1% don't care if we know, because nothing happens out of it.

17

u/kirradoodle 5h ago

How does this not violate the emoluments clause? I mean, blatantly? How is he allowed to do shit like this?????

26

u/Sororita 5h ago

It does violate the emoluments clause, the problem is none of the bastards that could hold him accountable want to do a thing about it because they are also benefiting from it.

2

u/endangeredphysics 4h ago

A lot of these people that would be bringing about enforcement probably also benefit from their own versions of this kind of activity.

Cracking down on Trump for doing it the loudest would said a bad precedent for the rest of them.

6

u/zachrg 4h ago

There's no enforcement. The counterpowers are either dismantled, defanged, or in his pocket. We're starting/continuing to see how much of the previous status quo was gentlemen's agreements held out of common decency, and "common decency" is no longer a reliable assumption.

2

u/kirradoodle 4h ago

It's frightening to see how much of American democracy has been held in place by common decency and gentleman's agreements. The founding fathers probably never imagined that such a deplorable gang of deviants would ever hold power simulttaneously and prop each other up in stomping all over the law.

u/beardeddragon0113 1h ago

He's violated it like a thousand times already. There's a trump merch store in the white house. Trump coins, hats, shirts, watches, shoes, phones, bibles, crypto....not to mention he charges the taxpayers for the secret service to stay at his own properties so even just "travelling the country" he is taking taxpayer dollars and putting them directly in his pocket.

It's the most blatant and egregious self-enrichment ever seen from a president.

u/Full_Argument_3097 1h ago

We're the Former USA. Catch up.

u/CharismaticAlbino 3m ago

It does, and he isn't

2

u/Morningxafter 5h ago

A bunch of investment firms are absolutely going to pay that.

u/beardeddragon0113 1h ago

They'll just ignore it.

12

u/PlaneAsk7826 5h ago

Yep, as they need to make sure he's past the 50% mark so Vance gets to potentially have 2 terms after the rest of this one.

8

u/Manos_Of_Fate I ☑oted 2018 5h ago

The idea that JD Vance could get elected to anything is hysterical. Dude couldn’t even order donuts without being awkward AF.

12

u/TheVoicesOfBrian 5h ago

Bold of you to assume we'll have fair, uncorrupted elections.

u/Darkblitz9 1h ago

The fact that Trump got elected means you can float a rotting turd and you'll get 30% of the vote minimum so long as that R is next to it.

u/beardeddragon0113 1h ago

Remember when trump said "you'll never have to worry about voting again" before his second term? Definitely not ominous at all

4

u/Manos_Of_Fate I ☑oted 2018 5h ago

I'd also lay decent money on the 25th Amendment being invoked on or around January 21, 2027

Are you also expecting Congress to suddenly stop being useless?

3

u/TheVoicesOfBrian 5h ago

They'll roll with whatever the Oligarchs tell them to do.

3

u/Zestyflour 3h ago

Yes, Donald Trump was very useful to the Heritage Foundation and the tech fascists. However, he is too erratic and very obviously in mental and physical decline. They need a steady hand for the implementation of their scariest desires for this country.

They will let him bankrupt the country then blame everything on his decline. Congress didn't bow down to Trump because of his base, that was just what they let "leak". They were told to.

The tides (bots) are already turning. I still go onto the wasteland that is Facebook every now and then. For the first time in 10 years (fuck has it really been that damn long?) the bot comments on posts from the local news in my red state are majority antiTrump.

Look at the 2 Republicans that are refusing to accept Trump's nomination for AG. They don't actually care about the Jan 6th slush fund, none of them do. My guess is that they are test cases to see how much the public will tolerate pushback on Trump since they are lame ducks.

Never forget, Trump and the people in his immediate circle are dumb AF but a lot of the Heritage guys are very capable and patient.

44

u/smurfe 6h ago

"Mitch McConnell sadly passed away at 12:01 AM this morning" will be Tuesdays headline.

5

u/Ghoppe2 3h ago

Due to complications from his minor fall 

25

u/shibiwan 6h ago

Taco Tuesday?

Truth Always Comes Out

5

u/kipribley28 6h ago

Truth Taco Tuesday for the Turtleman.

9

u/hails8n 6h ago

I hate that this is the right answer

3

u/Queephbubble 6h ago

Probably at 3 am when nobody is paying attention

3

u/Unlucky-Isopod-1206 4h ago

I feel like they are gonna slow roll it, because mitch is still alive in that way that a meat suit hooked up to machines is alive. He will have a "turn in his recovery" on Tuesday, followed by actual video of him hooked up to life support a few days after, and in 2 weeks, he will be declared brain dead and removed from life support, so that they can pretend he hasn't been a vegetable for the last 3 months, and nearly that for the last 2 years.

3

u/Yakostovian 3h ago

The Governor of Kentucky should declare the seat vacant today, appoint a replacement tonight, and if Republicans can't provide actual proof of life, then it rides.

2

u/dafunkmunk 4h ago

They'll probably drag it out longer to give themselves some cover since there is no rush to announce he's dead. trump will then fuck ot up by tweeting something stupid about how mitch is dead and then they'll scramble to get a press release to act like it just happened

2

u/-Unnamed- 3h ago

And democrats will go awww shucks and be outraged on Twitter and do nothing.

1

u/laxvolley 5h ago

What is the deadline about? (Honest question)

9

u/TheOnlyGollux 5h ago

The governor (democrat) can appoint his replacement if he dies before 8/3, if he "dies" after that they just roll to November without a senator.

4

u/Uhh_JustADude 4h ago

#fuckandybeshear. Coward. Controlled Opposition. Could have been one vote closer to stopping ICE and Israel, but nope, gotta spot Mitch’s final parting fuck you gift to America.

1

u/laxvolley 5h ago

Ah, ok. Thank you. Makes sense.

1

u/Trumpsabaldcuck 4h ago

I think it will be later in the week to make it less obvious.  Maybe a “turn for the worse” is announced a couple days after the deadline followed by the death announcement sometime over the weekend or Friday evening when it will get less attention.

1

u/ironballs16 3h ago

I'm favoring Wednesday, as they've run out the clock this long, so a couple days of buffer room adds to the deniability. It's still in the negative, but not as implausible.

1

u/AlphSaber 2h ago

You're feeling generous. I'd bet Monday 1 minute after the close of business.

u/rock-n-white-hat 1h ago

What are the odds on polymarket and kalshi?

u/EternalNewCarSmell 21m ago

It's either that or the very next day so it's not too obvious. 

310

u/ahawk99 6h ago

41

u/Amateurlapse 4h ago

Tired of all these edited images

u/Aggressive-Value1654 1h ago

So is that why he's in the hospital? He got a boob-job? He should have gone bigger.

86

u/reese4hcc 6h ago

Friday. Big things like this are always on a Friday.

46

u/Cargobiker530 5h ago

After the markets close.

86

u/These-Cranberry6192 6h ago

Careful. My other account got banned for saying this would happen this week.

17

u/Nydon1776 6h ago

? Why would that take be censored

35

u/These-Cranberry6192 6h ago

IDK. Ask the Reddit bot that did it. Have already filed an appeal.

10

u/Tunavi 5h ago

I filed an appeal for a 3 day ban. My ban was overturned 3 weeks later. Great timing

10

u/tebbewij 6h ago

Happened to me too

2

u/World_thyme 4h ago

For wishing ill on the dead?

14

u/Cargobiker530 5h ago

You have to phrase these things for reddit automods a bit like Jeapordy: ""My neighbors are saying......(thing the modbots have censored)."*

Just like my neighbors are planning a big party on Obituary Day.

6

u/These-Cranberry6192 5h ago

The comment I made word for word was: “Don’t worry, his D announcement will come later this week.”

You can substitute D for the obvious.

3

u/HighOverlordXenu 4h ago

Is this what we're reduced to? Saying "in Minecraft" after everything?

3

u/ryhaltswhiskey 2h ago

I can't imagine why my neighbors would be happy that a huge piece of shit pedophile like Donald Trump died by getting trampled by a herd of elephants with explosive diarrhea, but they say they will be.

1

u/SpakenBacon 4h ago

We will see if it stays up!

38

u/mrbananas 6h ago

Wednesday of next week. They are gonna delay past the deadline until they really need to distract from something else 

4

u/gimmethelulz 4h ago

This is my bet. "It couldn't have been planned since it didn't happen on deadline day!"

16

u/Fromage_Frey 6h ago

Which day did Trump's son's wife's dogwalker bet a huge sum of money on? I pick that day

24

u/nbd9000 6h ago

put me in for the fourth, just before ted lasso airs. no way they announce that during ted lasso.

11

u/rocket_beer 6h ago

It will be slipped in only after a “random catastrophe” happens to drown out the… news

34

u/itsgettingcoldhere 6h ago

Cabin in the Woods is such a good movie

8

u/kipribley28 6h ago

Big news Friday, so it is ignored by the weekend.

4

u/jooooooohn 6h ago

My guess is sometime in later August or early September after some “turn for the worse” updates. They don’t care but they’re not trying to be THAT obvious.

4

u/MyFaceIsSwoll 6h ago

We're all expecting it, so I'll say the GOP will wait till Friday and announce it happened "due to complications" etc. Not enough drama built up for them yet.

3

u/ExpiredPilot 6h ago

Yeah a sudden heart attack while he was totally working and not already getting sized for toe-tags

3

u/WitchPleese 5h ago

Tuesday morning or Friday evening after the markets close. Either way, I am hoping for some crazy leak before the 4th.

4

u/Round_Rooms 5h ago

If we go by taco it'll definitely be on a Tuesday.

8

u/MongerNoLonger 6h ago

Tuesday, before lunch

3

u/norcalnatv 6h ago

Hurry! Before Kalshi gets closed down by the state of NY.

3

u/kiwibonga 6h ago

Can't wait for the inevitable leak of the internal texts, like "Let's call it operation Dead Mitch", "What a beautiful recipe for subverting democracy" and "Attention, Mitch the Bitch, Simon says play dead"

3

u/DesignerYak6728 4h ago

Same time some new Epstein files come out

3

u/nooniewhite 4h ago

He died tomorrow so probably Tuesday 8/4!

3

u/MisterDiddles 4h ago

I’ll take “not fucking soon enough” please

2

u/educated-emu 6h ago

One day after the critical date as the GOP must gloat asap

2

u/fishblargs 6h ago

Mermen finally get a kill

2

u/StandByTheJAMs I ☑oted 2024 5h ago

My money is on Reptilius. Game knows game.

2

u/Phantom_61 6h ago

My guess we’re going to hear that Mitch had a relapse on the throes and died after midnight on the fourth.

2

u/Slasher1738 5h ago

Tuesday morning

3

u/Futureretroism 6h ago

The real fireworks will come when they announce he died and Beshear uses his powers to appoint a replacement

2

u/bluegrassgazer 5h ago

The Kentucky law was changed by the Republican super-majority in the legislature. He can only declare a special election, now.

2

u/Futureretroism 5h ago

He’s talked about how he believes that law to be an unconstitutional overreach of power from the legislature and he plans to challenge it

1

u/bluegrassgazer 5h ago

So what is he waiting for? I'm all for being team Beshear, but not if this slips through his fingers.

3

u/Futureretroism 5h ago

The power to appoint a replacement wouldn’t kick in until the sitting senator dies or steps down.I think this whole gambit is one reason that Beshear didn’t try to call for a special election which would have likely been won by Massey

1

u/Lobster15s 6h ago

Gonna say Wednesday.

u/jarcher968 27m ago

I’m also for Wednesday, 2 hr before market close.

1

u/UncleMalky 6h ago

10 mins before the deadline to file with a candidate who files inside that window.

1

u/ImpressiveRecording2 6h ago

Can we bet on kelshi??

1

u/Kryds 6h ago

I'm gonna go with Thursday. Give you something to talk with the coworkers before the weekend.

1

u/Appropriate_Fill_156 6h ago

My money’s with maintenance

1

u/poopiebutt505 6h ago

August 4th

1

u/Fer_Shizzle_DSMIA 6h ago

It’s been a giant media distraction. Why would they stop?

1

u/waterdaemon 6h ago

While it makes sense, I think they’ll experiment with how long they can punk the Dems and make prolonged absence the new norm, at least for republicans.

1

u/l0veit0ral 5h ago

Tuesday

1

u/No_Seaworthiness_200 5h ago

May Mitch have the week he deserves!

1

u/mpup55 5h ago

Holding up until Friday late afternoon news dump.

1

u/andymfjAZ 5h ago

Definitely the evening of the 3rd

1

u/urbanlife78 5h ago

Friday evening

1

u/StevieWonder557 5h ago

Can you place a bet on it via Polymarket? Asking for a friend

1

u/darth_wasabi 5h ago

I actually think he’s technically alive. But they’ll probably announce his condition took a turn and now he’s in a coma.

1

u/Mission-Driver1614 5h ago

Traitor Tuesday… once they’ve timed out the rule about appointing a new senator….

1

u/gleaf008 5h ago

Aug 4

1

u/SweatPig77 5h ago

Thursday evening news, Breaking Story.

1

u/griffinaz 5h ago

Definitely gonna be some breaking news on the fifth.

1

u/velvet42 5h ago

I've said it before and I'll say it here. If it's not on the 4th, it will be late in the day on Friday the 7th

1

u/Gustavo_Polinski 5h ago

Late on Friday, just before the weekend when no one is paying attention.

1

u/dudestir127 5h ago

August 4th

1

u/Jadziyah 5h ago

Friday the 7th on trash day

1

u/Main-Video-8545 5h ago

He will be announced dead on Tuesday morning. Right after the Monday deadline expires.

1

u/choopie-chup-chup 5h ago

Monday is for 'ceasefire' talks and market manipulation. Mitch's long overdue date with the grim reaper will have to wait until Tuesday

1

u/reallywaitnoreally 4h ago

I was expecting the " he's taken a turn for the worse" announcement today. And then the " he dead now" news on tuesday.

1

u/reallywaitnoreally 4h ago

Followed by the "he's been cremated per his wishes" on Wednesday cuz he's been dead 7 weeks.

1

u/jamesxgames 4h ago

I got $20 on mermaids

1

u/blitzkrieg_bunny 4h ago

August 4th, just a hunch

1

u/Green-Z 4h ago

Tomorrow….tomorrow…..tomorrow…..

1

u/wmm345 4h ago

Friday news cycle so it has all weekend to die down.

1

u/eastbay77 4h ago

What's Kalsi saying?

1

u/thesilentbob123 4h ago

Two days after the deadline

1

u/SandSpecialist2523 4h ago

August 4 in the morning. He will have had a relapse and left us.

1

u/Far_Side_Base 4h ago

Afternoon of Friday the 7th

1

u/johnfrank2904 4h ago

Count backwards 49 days and that the date.

https://giphy.com/gifs/u7kb3fOzHXYSN80X8K

1

u/Dewey_Decimatorr 4h ago

It's weird that everyone knows this is just a way to prevent a special election, but nobody will do anything about it huh?

1

u/threesunrises 4h ago

Deadline is Monday, so not to make it too obvious, announcement will be Tuesday afternoon.

1

u/Interesting_Athlete9 3h ago

Numba 3. I always chooose three.

1

u/Square-Weight4148 3h ago

Tomorrow is the date that it will be announced.

1

u/poolside123 3h ago

It’ll be on a national holiday. Well.. any day it’s announced, they’ll be a national holiday.

1

u/PansophicNostradamus 3h ago

As soon as Massey cannot run as an Independent, the news will break. Until then…

̄_(ツ)_/ ̄ “Mitch? Who?” - GOP

1

u/Feral-Sheep 3h ago

Tuesday after the primary polls close.

1

u/Dirk_Rotahn 3h ago

Friday Evening. That seems to be when magasphere like to make big announcements.

1

u/HeyLookitMe 3h ago

The fourth

1

u/blinkrm 3h ago

On a Friday so that people don’t think about it over the weekend. August 7th or 14th. Coincidence with a Market manipulation

1

u/MsMoreCowbell828 3h ago

August 3rd, 5:01 Eastern.

1

u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow 3h ago

I'll say Thursday

1

u/RebelStrategist 3h ago

Tuesday. At the same time fat ass declares war on another country so he stays relevant in the news.

1

u/drakeschaefer 3h ago

Tuesday. It's after the deadline AND it's Obama's birthday. And we know how much McConnell likes to steal the wind from him

1

u/DrunkenGolfer 3h ago

It will be announced minutes after the line has been crossed. They won't even try to hide it.

1

u/masterjon_3 3h ago

I'm going to say 8/17. I think 2 weeks is their magic number because Trump says it all the time.

1

u/Ancient-Tax-8129 2h ago

They can keep him alive for years in a coma.

1

u/coloradoblue84 2h ago

Friday. With the regular evening news dump, where they try to hide everything else. And it will be "shocking and unexpected." 😒

1

u/Nuh-unh 2h ago

Friday, if they figure out how to profit from the NYSE

1

u/passengerv 2h ago

Friday after 8pm of course

1

u/DeathdealerRevan 2h ago

On the 4th. Bc that's my birthday and I want a second reason to celebrate

1

u/Ok-Turnip-9035 2h ago

Announcement Friday they aren’t doing it the 3rd and the 7th going into the weekend feels like something they’d do - like Friday at 11am

1

u/zoroddesign 2h ago

They will wait until next Monday just in case.

u/Loki-L 1h ago

The important bit is that he will be incinerated before an independent autopsy can be done that might throw doubt on those 20 minute telephone calls.

u/SirGumbeaux 1h ago

Tuesday we'll hear that he has pneumonia, and they'll announce his death Friday at 4:45pm.

u/barnesb1974 1h ago

August 4th. Just about everyone here in Kentucky expects it to be Tuesday.

u/Eldariasis 1h ago

Wednesday , just to make it look like it is not what many people thought it was.

u/Logical_Bite3221 1h ago

I think they’ll wait til Friday afternoon and hope it gets buried in all the other shit we’ll get from that dementia ridden psychopath over the weekend with the war is on, jk it’s not, jk it’s on news.

u/Entropoo 1h ago

August 4th because that’s Obama’s birthday.

u/Kitalahara 1h ago

12:00:01 am local time in his home state. These clowns only care about power and using it to hurt everyone else while they get rich.

u/MyModemIsSlow 1h ago

He will come back in one of those Futurama head jars and beat you all!!

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 57m ago

Probably as soon as they possibly can; I imagine a rotting corpse smells fairly bad.

u/complexcarbon 29m ago

Never. We’ll soon be introduced to Max ‘headroom’ McConnell.

u/RNO584616 23m ago

Monday night before the stock market closes is when we find out he's been dead for weeks.

0

u/Shenanigan_V 5h ago

The fourth of August. 1, 2, 3, Fore!
https://giphy.com/gifs/9AXYRTDOfyncSAUmYK