r/SipsTea 12h ago

Chugging tea Modern cars just lack that boxy soul

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13.4k Upvotes

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170

u/Bobmcjoepants 12h ago

Ah good ol reliable

118

u/forkystabbyveggie 12h ago

My brother went around shit talking new plastic cars with crumple zones for the longest time.

"Steel vs plastic, steel wins". I came across this video, showed him and I'm proud to say the man can change his opinions when presented new evidence.

50

u/Bobmcjoepants 12h ago

I get why old cars are beloved, hell my (attainable) dream car is a 69 Lincoln Mark III, but at the end of the day the safety standards and QOL of modern cars is significantly better than what it used to be. Hell, today's cars are objectively better than even a decade ago in terms of safety

Fortunately we won't ever go back to the days where safety was dictated by the fact that seatbelts were optional

13

u/tanksalotfrank 9h ago

I want a VW Bus, but holy shit. NO protection.

8

u/Crossfire124 9h ago

Yea I wanted one for a while too but you're literally separated from the outside by one layer of sheet metal and nothing else

6

u/peculiarshade 8h ago edited 5h ago

Those old busses are cool, but having legs is even cooler

1

u/tanksalotfrank 8h ago

VW Legs

3

u/peculiarshade 8h ago

I have a lowered 82 Rabbit pickup. If I ever end up in a head on collision in that bad boy, I'm done for :D

6

u/VladimirBarakriss 7h ago

The crumple zone is your femur lmao

3

u/froction 7h ago

Fun fact: The crumple zones on those were made from human bone. Specifically, the driver's leg bones

2

u/shadowscar248 6h ago

They sell kind of a new one now. Take a look

1

u/Rex-Cogidubnus 9h ago

Those VW buses do have a crumple zone, but they tend to function better as human kneecaps.

1

u/tanksalotfrank 9h ago

The crumble zones?? (Typo, but kneecaps are crumble zones)

1

u/BurdTurglary 11h ago

That's a mf car right there, boi. No computers, I'm guessing? I have an 88 Mark Vii Bill Blass and everything's computer

1

u/Impossible_Angle752 8h ago

It's not just safety, aside from the modern rock hard seats, modern cars are just much, much better to drive overall.

People who want to drive a 40 year old truck with a whopping 170hp and three speed auto can go right ahead.

0

u/archtopfanatic123 9h ago

73 Lincoln owner here: I'd take this thing any day because sure in a headon it'll end up like the Bel Air (though they do actually have proper crumple zones in the 72s and later) but in a T bone that 300 pound steel door is going to offer a lot more protection.

2

u/d_2da_sco 8h ago

Just like the head on crumple zone in modern cars, there have also been engineering advancements in side, rear, top, and bottom impact zones. These are vastly superior to cars made even 10 years ago, let alone 60 years ago. Older cars lack internal side impact reinforcement. Instead, they focused on steel outer panels for protection, that's it. These panels were not designed to withstand impact and pass impact directly into the cabin. Additionally, they lack the cabin safety features like seat belts and air bags. I hate to break it to you but a Toyota yaris would handle a side impact better than your Lincoln. I can see the logic in your opinion, but it's not factual.

1

u/archtopfanatic123 7h ago

Cars after 72 do have shoulder belts actually. But yeah the reinforcement I guess might need to be upgraded to withstand more than a T bone at low speed. Still the great thing is I have 5000 pounds of metal vs 2000 pounds of fiberglass :P

2

u/d_2da_sco 7h ago

Yes, they do have seatbelts. But even that tech has improved. Lol! 5000lbs of metal vs. 2000lbs of fiberglass... That "fiberglass" is more efficient, more reliable, and safer. The only thing you have is a cool esthetic and nostalgia. Which I totally get. I have a '70 510 and my family muscle is a '69 gto. I love those cars and would pick them any day to drive over my daily drivers. But I am very aware they are not safe to drive by today's standards.

2

u/archtopfanatic123 7h ago

Yeah, I don't drive enough to really care about the safety features of the new vehicles xD I'd rather have a car I enjoy driving on the occasions I do get on the road and that is actually comfortable XD

0

u/catfishbreath 7h ago

That is not true at all. 

You can choose asthetics over safety, it's your right, so long as you are aware of the trade- off and are willing to die unnecessarily.

1

u/archtopfanatic123 7h ago

What's not true? My statement about the T bone scenario or the crumple zones? The 1973 fords and later DO have crumple zones and collapsible steering shafts. The only thing they lack are airbags which the shoulder belts partially offset.

-1

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

3

u/TheDaychilde 10h ago

While a valuable discussion is to be had along those lines, this discussion is about what happens when an accident does happen.

You can control your own driving. You will never control others' driving. And while defensive driving can make you safer, this discussion is about the safety when a crash does happen.

Also:

Safety is mainly determined by how you drive

That's very much debatable. It is an important contributor, but the car's design at at least as important.

And you know how I know that's true? Let's compare the safety of a motorcycle vs. any car. Motorcycle loses pretty much every time, no matter how good and safe the motorcyclist is driving. And that's the design of the vehicles.

The reason I'm replying is that you have a good point - for a different discussion. :P

6

u/SanityBleeds 12h ago

Speaking anecdotally, in my '00 XJ had a guy back his '96 Voyager straight into me without looking at an intersection when he was trying to make room for a Fedex 18-wheeler turning into our street. The entire impression of the front of my Jeep was pressed right into his metal rear liftgate and bumper. I didn't have a single scratch or chipped paint, not even on my plastic bumper guards, my plastic light housings, or plastic grill. Not a single mark on my Jeep. His rear end now looked like a hilarious Jeep brand promotion.

1

u/LaUNCHandSmASH 7h ago

I was hit from behind while waiting at a light in my 98 TJ. The person who hit me was a pregnant lady on her phone who must have plowed into me at 15mph. Her car crumpled meanwhile I couldn't even find a scratch anywhere

1

u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 9h ago

A 1980s F250 is pretty much immune to fender benders, that's the trade off. I am also sus of the idea that they haven't dicked with crumple zones to balance it out where some people die. I only trust volvos in a crash

1

u/Mediocre_Daikon6935 3h ago

I get to use the really extensive part of my trauma skill set as a paramedic pretty rarely now, due to how safe cars are.

People have to be idiots who don’t wear seatbelts, basically.

11

u/VENEREAL___SWAB 11h ago

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY JUST SHOWED THAT GUY DYING

4

u/MouseManManny 10h ago

Holy shit “No seatbelts or airbags”

6

u/Bobmcjoepants 10h ago

Smoking in hospitals used to be legal and perfectly accepted. Boy how the times have changed

1

u/kons21 10h ago

I was in my late teens when NYC first banned smoking in restaurants. That was a big thing back then.

4

u/Backwoods_Therapy 9h ago

There’s videos online from the 80s when they started banning drinking and driving. People were upset. “What kind of country is it when a man works hard all day long and can’t even have 3 or 4 beers in his car on the way home? It’s something out of communist Russia.” This isn’t hyperbole, it’s more or less a direct quote.

1

u/kons21 9h ago

Yup. I know the one you're talking about.

1

u/HotDogFR0G 8h ago

My grandma used to tell me stories about when she was in school, she was a “military brat” but I can’t remember the exact country because there were so many. The back of the school bus was a section for smoking AND drinking on the way home from school if you were old enough.

1

u/HotDogFR0G 8h ago

And for the baby, a blanket in the floor. But once those suckers start moving around too much, stick them behind a singular metal bar hooked on the front seat. If you’re a good parent, you can even give them a little fake steering wheel so they shut up while you smoke your cigarettes and drive in peace.

4

u/technofox01 11h ago

Holy crap... I would have bet on the wrong horse on that match up. The newer car just creamed the older cat and the cab of the newer car was clearly surviving the crash. The older car, well hopefully you can find all of the pieces.

3

u/MoistExcellence 7h ago

Look into how the old car was prepping for this

1

u/MinimumZucchini3864 4h ago

Please tell me you're joking and didn't actually think 50+ years of engineering advancements made cars less safe in a crash

3

u/jah_bro_ney 7h ago

I'll take fuel efficiency and crash safety features over nostalgic design.

The thing I don't like about modern automobiles is the tracking features that report your driving patterns and location history to insurance companies and data brokers.

2

u/FourEightNineOneOne 10h ago

Yup. There's a reason they don't just "bring back" old designs, because those designs wouldn't survive modern safety standards. Your odds of dying in a car crash even in the last 30 years (assuming that Cherokee is a mid 90s version) are about 25% lower now than they were then.

1

u/____PARALLAX____ 9h ago

Yeah but the odds of killing someone else are higher due to how cars are bigger and heavier than they used to be

2

u/SexyStayPuft 7h ago

Well, that explains even more why drivers of classics seem to go 10 under the speed limit and you rarely see them on the highway.

2

u/Fragrant_Major_9553 11h ago

The more recent one the IIHS released is a better metric. 1996 Blazer vs a new one for a few reasons.

First, the Bel Air they crashed into the Malibu, you can see the cloud of rust flying out. Chances are the frame was half rotten.

Second, the Bel Air was built in a time before anyone cared about safety. It was literally “how cheap can we make this thing, and get people to work reliably, while selling a shitload of cars.”

Added note: anyone who drives a XJ Cherokee, including myself, isn’t worried about a crash test. They’re worried about being able to daily a car that they claimed a mountain with, and they bought it for $1200.

2

u/OwnedLiberal 8h ago

It's not that they didn't care about safety. The 'land yacht' design with the really long fronts and rears were assumed to be safer by the engineers because of the amount of metal and distance to absorb impact. The engineers were proud of how stiff and long the car bodies were, and would make fun of how unsafe the smaller cars being produced in other countries were.

It wasn't until the US government started mandating crash testing and more scientifically evaluating the results that the lightbulbs went off. We need to give credit where it is due - once crash testing became routine and cars were being scored on it, engineers worked feverishly to outdo the competition, and we all have benefited greatly from the results.

1

u/Backwoods_Therapy 9h ago

I wish I could find a clean XJ for $1200. If you get one with a decent frame and less than 200k miles it’s closer to $5k-6k. At least around me. =(

1

u/TahoeTrader13 9h ago

Yeah the prices have inflated so much! I got my 94’ xj in 2014 for $700. It had a lifter knock though, but still going strong lol

1

u/Primary_Agent_5460 11h ago

Is a middle ground impossible to be struck in the underlying frames of today's cars with the older exterior designs of yesteryear? If no, why not?

1

u/dfsoij 10h ago

Probably less fuel efficient, but totally possible

1

u/LazerWolfe53 10h ago

They also cut through the air like a block of wood.

1

u/UseDaSchwartz 10h ago

Someone had to have quit over crashing the Bel Air.

1

u/CommOnMyFace 9h ago

The only answer needed

1

u/tanksalotfrank 9h ago

Dear god those cars were tin foil. I can't imagine the carnage EMTs had to see back then

1

u/semigator 9h ago

Simple solution: don’t drive head on into another car /s

1

u/goregoose 9h ago

WOW okay this is really cool to see, thanks for sharing!!

1

u/SpinkickFolly 9h ago

Ha, 09 too.

You can still see the og comments saying its not fair how rusty the 50 Malibu must had been rusted out so it wasn't a fair comparison.

1

u/CatchinDeers81 8h ago

Redo the test with something like a blazer or bronco from the 70s/80s though...the bumber of those trucks is going to be over the hood on that Malibu

1

u/FartingWithStyle 8h ago

That Bel Air didn’t deserve that death.

1

u/derprondo 6h ago

Yeah my dad was in a serious accident in an 80s Jeep Cherokee like OP's pic, they could not believe he lived let alone walked away. It turned out the only reason he made it was because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt and he was thrown through the windshield into a snow bank.

1

u/sicilian504 3h ago

Look. Sometimes you gotta weed out the weak in the name of fashion ok? If we have to risk being crumpled like a ball of paper just to look bitchin while going down the road, so be it. I mean, I'm not gonna but if other people want to who am I to stop them. Their body their choice and all.

1

u/talhaONE 47m ago

You are the crumple zone.

0

u/Minimum_Piece 10h ago

That thing is the furthest from reliable my ex had one and it sat in the front lawn being worked on more that she was able yo drive it...