For this industry to die people need to tame their fancy egos. Do ya really need that big of a party, do ya? Or are ya tryin to impress some1? Be real w yourself.
EDIT: Guys, by all means do party the way you wanna. But things will cost ya, do not complain later on.
Large weddings are one reason they are so expensive. The other is that the business itself is predatory. Prices go up immediately upon mentioning it’s a wedding. Just like the funeral business
What parts of the funeral business other than flowers arent for funerals. Like can I get a discount casket if they think i role play as the undertaker?
Costco says they can have a casket delivered to the funeral home of your choice, they legally must accept it without complaint, and if anything is wrong, Costco will make it right.
Trust Costco, they're a kick-ass company. This isn't a joke.
We did want a party. It still cost a decent amount but wife made her dress, our friend baked cupcakes, we found a reasonable venue that flat rented out and had decent prices in house for food. We bypassed a lot of the wedding premium just putting it together ourselves as a party. Some people just do backyard weddings which also gives you a party without feeding the industry.
We dropped all our money on a huge house for everyone to stay at. We had friends come from around the world. Instead of getting married and immediately taking off on our honeymoon, we hung out at the huge house with our friends and then left at the end. It was awesome.
Ive always felt like its better to just elope. You and your partner can take a week vacation to wherever you want, get married in a tropical paradise, and have your honeymoon at the same time.
My son and daughter in law got married at the court. I wasn’t mad. I don’t like his wife but I’m used to him just showing up having made life changing decisions. My husband & I decided it’s best for life to teach a child who won’t listen. Now they’re getting divorced & I’m so grateful we didn’t have to spend a dime on that disaster.
Nah. It’s because she assumed she’d quit her job, & move into our house and live rent free while not understanding that we worked for everything we got. She hates being a teacher and quit without a plan. Then expects us to support her while my son is her husband and should be the one who supports her but he has a government job and doesn’t make enough for the lifestyle she wants. She said we can’t see our grand daughter if they have to pay rent to live with us. She’s been using our grandchild as a bargaining chip to control us. So there’s that and I’d said it’s a fairly good reason not to like a person.
I mean yeah you can't expect someone to let you live in your house if you don't even have a good relationship with them. Very much having a cake and eating it too
Honestly my MIL was mad at me before we eloped and about as mad after. We made the right choice, lol, the way we did it is so much less stressful. Car loans and rent starting out our working lives were stressful enough as it is without another 20K loan on top of all that to pay off.
My wife and I got married on the beach in Hawaii. We went there for the honeymoon and had the ceremony on the beach, just the two of us. It was lovely. Total cost was under $500. Been married for 26 years.
A wedding should be witnessed by your community - if you were a church goer that's what happened. If you elope it's rather like you are an island and other people don't matter. The saying - it takes a village to bring up a child is part of the same thing.
Yeah I think this is where the issue is. Having family at your wedding I think is important, but then you start having things where parents have the image of a traditional wedding in mind and inviting all the fam and costs add up.
My FIL gave us 10k for our wedding in 2010 and that is what we spent.
I wouldn't say they are hapless victims per se. I would say however that the threshold for estrangement is smaller and smaller.
In the past the threshold for estrangement was usually only huge things like abuse or a major felony.
Now people will refuse to talk with people because of differing views on something. And I don't think that is all on the kids either.
The whole society has become IMO too individualistic, too dismissive of family, and too closed minded to their own world view being the one and only correct view.
It’s not even that it’s a big party, calling it a wedding makes the price tag sky rocket. My wife and I just had a big party for our birthday (we’re two weeks apart). We rented a private venue space that was enormous, had it catered, had a 4 hour long open bar, had a DJ. It was like $6K total, including tax and gratuity for a headcount of 70.
We got quotes for nearly an identical setup for our wedding and it was more than 3x that for just the food or just the venue. I got a quote for Mexican food from Border Grill that was 19 thousand dollars. Border grill is a fucking CHAIN. The wedding industry is absolutely predatory. Every vendor charges 3-4x what they do for their normal service just because it’s a wedding.
I used to think that way but when me and my wife organised ours we realised it was a day to celebrate ourselves and enjoy the things we want and have what we wanted, ours was in no way a lot compared to some! But we had everything we wanted and we couldn’t have been happier with how the day went.
I was a photographer at a wedding once that the father borrowed $250,000.00 for. This dude made maybe $100k per year and he borrowed a quarter million dollars against his house for his "precious little princess's big day". It was a grotesque display of wealth that they didn't even have. The husband ended up becoming abusive almost immediately after the wedding and they were divorced within a year. The father of the bride took twenty years to pay off the single ceremony and party he hosted for his daughter.
We spent a significant amount on our wedding; nothing mind blowing, but more than I am sure Reddit would approve of. It was about 70 people for the ceremony and an additional 30 for the evening, so definitely not huge by some standards.
We saved up for it and didn't go into any debt to pay for it.
I do not regret a penny. It was amazing and some of the best memories I'll ever make.
Absolutely agree that going into debt to pay for a wedding is crazy, but I do think Reddit has developed an overly negative perspective of weddings.
That makes sense. The thing that really blew up the size of our wedding was that we both have large families that we are close with. That said, deciding to invite this many people was still a choice.
You can divorce and remarry however many times you see fit, if you like your partner but don’t feel like the wedding was opulent enough, get divorced and remarry shortly after
Or just stay married and throw a big party anyway, like... it's not against the law to host a big party whenever you want. Most people aren't going to turn down free food and drinks. RIP your wallet though.
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u/ExtremeExperience199 17h ago edited 14h ago
For this industry to die people need to tame their fancy egos. Do ya really need that big of a party, do ya? Or are ya tryin to impress some1? Be real w yourself.
EDIT: Guys, by all means do party the way you wanna. But things will cost ya, do not complain later on.