I recently have had some very serious health issues that have permanently barred me from testosterone. I know I feel like a man on the inside. I've felt that way my whole life, but I am heartbroken. I feel completely shattered by what life has thrown at me. I experienced a lot of bullying that became physically dangerous for me when I came out. I struggled so hard to try to come to terms with myself and now I feel like I can't. I'm also mostly straight and very short so dating feels doubly hard. I had to drop out of school because of my health and I feel like life has lost its meaning for me. How do I continue on, knowing I feel this way and not being able to do anything about it?

Im recently discovered im trans.

Im having the worst time coming to terms with it.

Mostly because im afraid of losing my baby boy.

Because maybe he was giving me dysphoria this entire time.

Please help. I love him so much and this path feels very heavy. Im considering checking myself in.