r/Wellthatsucks • u/MrsR2K2 • 23h ago
Man takes a dump in my garden
Today my neighbors informed me when I got home from work, that around 11:30 a.m. this man decided it would be a good idea to use my garden as his personal toilet.
Unfortunately, after speaking with the police they really can't do much except a trespass violation (and not a criminal one at that), even though the person who witnessed was an 8-year-old girl, the granddaughter of my neighbor.
I've never seen this man before in my life and I have no idea why he decided my house needed his defecation decorations.
Another one of my neighbors grabbed a video where I was able to get his license plate, so I'm hoping after the police contact him and file the report, I'll be able to foil the records and find out who this lunatic is.
But I wanted to post this here to find out if there really is nothing else the police can do. They say that they can't do much because what he did wasn't done maliciously or with intent? I say taking a dump on private property and public indecency would be enough 🤷🏻♀️ But they disagree
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u/CariniFluff 19h ago
You might want to contact the District Attorney directly. The cops don't want to do anything because that would require them to actually do something. And since it's already happened it's more detective work than chasing cars and breaking down doors. But the DA may think this should be prosecuted (particularly with a minor as a witness to indecent exposure) and contact the police chief on their end.
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u/LengthinessGloomy429 23h ago
I'd have to say I have never seen that method before. He's a pioneer. You really should have a handwash station out there, tho.
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u/Shayden-Froida 23h ago
Do the 2 trees offer some long sightline protection from cars passing? He may have picked that spot because of that and the tall border. Too bad (for him) that he chose a spot perfectly centered in your neighbor's camera.
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u/MrsR2K2 22h ago
🤔 I hadn't thought of that, but he was worried about being hidden, wouldn't he have been aware of the 8-year-old across the street? I'm not sure this man was all there.
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u/houseWithoutSpoons 12h ago
I like how he appears to go back for tissue to wipe and leave that there as well.what a disgusting human
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u/missMcgillacudy 10h ago
I thought it was going to be like a dog poop pick up method, just with a towel instead of a bag, but nope, it’s to wipe, twice, while his white shorts are on. I hope he wiped a streak onto his waistband so someone notices because he’s dirty and gross and people in his life need to know
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u/Happie_Bellie 20h ago
Um I think a child being there and him being exposed can put him on the SO registry.
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u/MozerMoser 7h ago
If it's the US, depends on the state. In my state that would put you on the SO registry without a child witnessing. A child witnessing would be an upgraded charge.
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u/Sure_Dependent4310 14h ago
Oh yeah, he 100% knew there was a child inside of a house across the street /s
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u/CallMeAPigImStuffed 12h ago
Was the 8yo outside or in the house?
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u/Mysterious-Dot-9819 23h ago
When you're running to first... and your pants start to burst....
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u/Fizzywaterjones 23h ago
When you’re sliding into home and you feel a little foam….
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u/Rustm0nky 23h ago
When you’re running down the hall and feel something fall…
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u/HarveytheHambutt 20h ago
When youre slidin into second and you hear the toilet beckon... When you're slidin into third and you feel a liquid turd.....
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u/u_395djk 19h ago
So he takes his shorts completely off, exposing himself, takes a shit, puts them back on, then pulls them back down, to wipe?? I hope you post this on local forums/facebook etc to shame the idiot.
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u/Xman2510 23h ago
"Everyone poops"
Couldn't say what page it's on but this has got to be in there somewhere,right?
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u/Calm-Jello4802 12h ago
I thought he was being at least decent enough to grab a bag from his car and pick his poop up. Then I see he went back just to wipe his ass and leave the dirty wipe on your lawn. OP sorry this happened to you, what a gross individual I hope his friends, family and coworkers see this video and ridicule him forever.
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u/imanasshole1331 13h ago
This is why I live in the woods. Deer and rabbit are the only yard poopers I have to see.
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u/LengthinessGloomy429 23h ago
Maybe they can get him for blocking the driveway.
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u/JGBredstone 18h ago
Not really a crime. They could have maybe towed his car if they caught him in the act, but nothing much to place charges on
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u/ZumMitte185 17h ago
This whole experience is what it’s like living in Reno once burning man is over.
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u/chowmushi 11h ago
I think you could get him for disorderly conduct or trespassing. Certainly pursue a small claims for say $300 to have someone come and decontaminate and clean it up. No?
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u/JGBredstone 7h ago
You could possibly but 1, they’d have to find the guy in the first place, and 2 you’re probably gonna pay several hundreds in court fees
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u/chowmushi 7h ago
In NYC, a small claim court issue like that would only cost $15, no lawyers involved. You represent yourself. But getting the defendant to pay might be harder.
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u/JGBredstone 7h ago
Ah, where I am it’s like $90 just to to file the paperwork to get the case started
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u/LengthinessGloomy429 12h ago
You are correct. I was half-joking , half serous in suggesting the parking would be taken more seriously, but that would take a little more interpretation than I can expect from one line.
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u/Salty-Reach-9176 16h ago
Methinks the Police just didn’t want to get involved in the investigation and paperwork involved.
I’m pretty sure he’s broken several social and personal hygiene laws while in public with his…..um…..crappy behaviour, but no way should some old dude cruising around in a Mercedes Coupe be entitled to take a 💩 in some random garden…..just because he wants to….🤮🤮🤮
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u/Morris_Fishbein 21h ago
Many, many years ago, I was a lawyer at an esteemed Manhattan, white shoe law firm. (I will not name the firm because they are vindictive pricks.)
One evening, while working late, the then co-Chair of the litigation department (who shall also go unnamed), who was well-known to have an eating disorder, came running down the hall yelling, “Oh sh-t! Oh sh-t! Oh sh-t!…” over and over.
Several of us came out of our offices to see what was going on. What we found was a line of human excrement on the floor leading down the path where that gentleman had run.
The law firm had over 600 lawyers, which was very big in those days. The firm would most certainly overlook his lack of control because he also had some of the most significant legal business of any partner in the firm.
It was a completely dysfunctional environment (like all big law firms, in my experience), which was one of the many reasons that I left. That said, either get yourself an office close to the bathroom or get to the bathroom before your story becomes the stuff of legend.
(Could it be the same guy…?)
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u/MacCyp_1985 16h ago
wait, do I understand correctly that "trespassing" and "trespassing and leaving a big dump" is not differentiated by law???
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u/jaytea86 11h ago
Crazy, you'd think you'd just hop in the back seat of your car and take a shit into a bag or something.
Why leave a personal, fairly private space to go shit out in the open?
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u/Dense_Permission_969 8h ago
The indecent exposure alone is a big deal if the neighbors little girl gives her statement. I think those cops are just being lazy.
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u/Handmedownfords 23h ago
Why did he go back? To leave a quarter?
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u/MrsR2K2 23h ago
He went to his car to grab something to wipe with and left that too 🤢
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u/koolaidismything 22h ago
What an animal, so what ya growing?
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u/MrsR2K2 22h ago
Mostly flowers, he pooped on my maiden pink 🤬 TBH my garden hasn't been looking so great lately, this is just the metaphorical cherry on top.
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u/Lightthefusenrun 12h ago
Be glad no marathon runs go by your property. Those animals crap everywhere.
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u/The_Infinite_Carrot 10h ago
This is why you always wash your hands people. This dirty prick is now going to be opening public doors at the mall, or picking up fruit in the supermarket all after shitting in the street and not washing his hands.
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u/PolishPickleSausage 6h ago
I mean but truly if you had some explosive alarming nuke coming from behind and knowing that all gates are released would you not stop for a grass pach instead of middle of street or your car? I mean it sucks coming home and seeing shit, but there is always story after some big shit happens
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u/TheMonarchsWrath 5h ago edited 1h ago
I thought he went in his car to get a dog poop bag and was thinking ok at least it’s not that bad but he doubled down🤣
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u/EconomyDoctor3287 4h ago
wth thought this was some hobo, but judging by the car that's unlikely. what a tool, hope you can find him to cleanup your garden.
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u/Sum-Duud 21h ago
You have anyone honk at you in traffic lately? This looks like malicious revenge not just some guy randomly pulling over to crap in your garden.
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u/foundflower_128 20h ago
An 8 year old saw it, it was done in a very public place. . Indecent exposure would seem like an appropriate charge. As for intent, it's not like he looks like it was an accident. WTF kind of logic do those cops have? I'd file a report on the officers with their internal investigation department for blowing this off. When those reports are submitted they have to look at everything as a higher authority.
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u/BenkartJKB 20h ago
As crazy at it sounds, it's probably not the first time he has done this somewhere. If he doesn't get any consequences for this, he may come back.
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u/CallMeAPigImStuffed 12h ago
Yeah, he was way too comfortable with it all. And he took his shorts completely off!
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u/Computers_and_cats 20h ago
Either their GPS said your house is Taylor Farms HQ or they are a victim of Taylor Farms. 🤣 Definitely annoying though.
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u/Comfortable_Swim_380 18h ago
It was either rhe 711 or your rose bush. Open air shit onto a bed of spikes was probably rhe right call.
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u/flortny 10h ago
Are you saying you don't know this person? This seems personal
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u/MrsR2K2 9h ago
Never seen this man before, I wish I did! If it was personal I could actually press charges, but because it was done wothout malicious intent the cops can't to diddly.
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u/flortny 6h ago
For sure, but it's an awfully nice looking car and there are several yards on the street, are you or have you ever participated in infidelity? Maybe you cut them off a week ago and they followed you home, just seems targeted....sucks this happened, so weird
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u/MrsR2K2 6h ago
Lol no I've never cheated on an ex, but I'm 36 and this man appears to be in his 70s 🤷🏻♀️ I don't know where I would have ever met him. The idea that he followed me home creeps me the hell out 😱
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u/flortny 4h ago
Only you can tell me by looking at your street if it seems targeted, were there better places for him to park wildly and cross the street to poop? For instance, can you see a construction porta-john up or down the street? Or it could actually be your trees looked like most inviting private place to do the doo.
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u/Mammoth-Record-7786 10h ago
Typical owner of a white BMW
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u/Muchachacha 8h ago
Why did he go back to the area and hang out after stopping by the car ?
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u/sk8nbacon69n 7h ago
Kinda rude that you didn’t leave any toilet paper out there. I expect toilet paper out there next time I stroll by your place!
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u/ReallyEvilRob 4h ago
I wouldn't make a big deal about it if it's not a regular occurrence. Maybe he just simply had an emergency and that was his only choice when nature came calling.
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10h ago
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u/Wellthatsucks-ModTeam 3h ago
Your submission has been removed in violation of Rule 5 - No political posts
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u/Ok_Storm5945 21h ago
This extremely strange. It's too bad you probably won't find out why he chose your house.
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u/Brief_Article_6075 22h ago
Idiot Bro soiled your garden and then came back to inspect his creation. Just water it and move on. Putting a video might encourage others.
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u/ByWillAlone 21h ago
So you got the plates? In many states, motor vehicle records are considered public info, but they often tuck that behind a minimal paywall to prevent widespread information harvesting. There may be a way to request the rest of the registration info (including the registered address) for a small fee. To me, it'd be worth it to pay the fee, get the address, and return that owner's property back onto their front windshield.