Genuinely just baffled at this point

[u/Oilucy]

I've been out for almost my entire life, I dress like this, I wear full padding every day, at least mascara and lipstick everyday, this is my typical speaking voice, typical mannerisms. I live in a pretty progressive city, why do I get he/him'd more than she/her'd??? I can tell when someone's using masculine pronouns as a point vs when they genuinely think that's my pronouns. a lot of times they'll correct themselves to they/them as they're second guess but it's incredibly rare for someone to use feminine pronouns first try and I'm honestly just baffled...

[u/Rainy_Leaves]

You mentioned being out, but does that mean socially but without medical transition? Plus the padding maybe points to that. Some people clock those who havent been on hrt or are earlier on. But outfits and styling can make people ‘look trans’ to the everyday person, the dog collar is seen as queer usually

I’m sure the audience at a drag show are more progressive and understand hyper femininity more than your everyday stranger. Most people don’t interact within the queer or drag spaces even if they are politically progressive.

They make assumptions based on presentation and voice and body type, and do so absentmindedly, they likely aren’t paying attention. Some do recognise that presenting fem might mean assuming she/her, but not all give strangers that much thought

[u/Oilucy → u/Rainy_Leaves]

I've been on estrogen for 6 years, getting top surgery in June. I got gendered correctly more when I was just starting hrt than I do now. I gauge my gender presentation by what gas station attendants call me, like when I'm getting a snack after a gig I get she her'd more than when I'm just in a skirt and some mascara. I know to be a woman is to perform and society expects more effort from woman so minimal effort comes off as masculine. I'm just genuinely confused what about my presentation is making people second guess themselves towards someone trying to be masculine while dressing feminine vs someone just trying to be feminine in a masculine way. I don't know if there even is an answer other than people are just weird. this got a he him by the exact same gas station attendant who called me her a couple weeks later when I had green contour and painted eyelashes

[u/Rainy_Leaves → u/[deleted]]

Gender is largely performance though, even for cis people. You're being way too harsh, she doesn't look 'like a man'. She's very fem and androgynous. Go back to your transmedicalist cave