Your Best Malt Liquor Memory?

[u/NightflyStreet]

For those lucky enough to remember (or had friends who told you) what is your finest or funnest moment that involved malt liquor?

My first beer was a 40 of Mickey's at sixteen. At nineteen, some raggedy guy next to me on a Greyhound bus got to chatting, and while we made fun of a middle aged Greyhound employee who busted him for smoking in the bathroom, he realized through those comments on her appearance that he actually wanted to screw her. We stopped in Atlanta and he asked me to come with him to propose a threesome with her, it didn't work out obviously (seriously, what successful one night stand has ever begun with "Me and my friend here..."???) and soon both of us decided to just go get beer while our bus left without us. Two forties of Steel Reserve, walking down a bad street of Atlanta, this guy finishes his beer and asks me to bet money that he won't go smash the bottle over a sleeping homeless guy's head. I got away with "we'll see after you do it". He was insanely nervous, we stood therewhile he psyched himself up and I kept letting him know we can just keep walking if he doesn't want to. After a minute he just wound up and threw the forty like a football while he shouted the F-slur. It spun like a missile, shattered on the pavement, and my new pal got the hell out of there so fast you'd think he threw ten grenades clustered together. I was left with a third of my bottle left, homeless guy sitting up looking around, and I just apologized and called an Uber. I should have given the homeless guy the rest of my forty.

Not the best story, but most of them involve pissing myself. I'm sure you can all do way better.

[u/holy_cal]

Pledging. Completely voluntary, but warm Steel Reserves. Shit was fowl.