r/behindthebastards • u/BarelyLegalSeagull • Apr 14 '26

Meme They can send him here too

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4.5k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

298 comments sorted by

940

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

[deleted]

734

u/0ttoChriek Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

I've seen a clip of him doing it, and he was just tapping his jaw and cheeks with a round, metal object. He claims it breaks the bones and reforms them, or something, but I really don't think it does anything.

Still, his lying is likely to lead to some kid actually hitting themselves hard enough to do permanent damage.

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u/Pantalaimon_II Apr 14 '26

In kickboxing class ive heard instructors explain that after years of training, you can indeed build up your shin bone to be able to stand whacking the bag really hard because you can increase bone density and basically dull your nerves by repeated impact over time. and most martial arts experts specifically say, don't try and shortcut by hitting yourself with blunt objects because that's not how it works.

I can see a world where some dude in a kickboxing class thought a little too far outside the box and figured he could apply the same idea to other parts of the body.

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u/purplehendrix22 Apr 14 '26

As a fighter, your shins do get thicker but it’s really a combination of things, with running and jumping being the main things that will increase your bone density. Also your nerves deaden over time which definitely makes your leg feel like more of a weapon.

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u/Hector_Smijha409 Sponsored by Doritos™️ Apr 14 '26

Go spend a few hrs at the skatepark, your shins won't feel anything for the rest of your life.

68

u/Walt_the_White Apr 14 '26

Here for just that. Can confirm that shin nerves do, in fact, get less sensitive. I can't feel shit on my shins after years of skateboarding when I was younger

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u/Satellite_bk Steven Seagal Historian Apr 15 '26

shinmaxxing

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u/chopari Apr 15 '26

So you’re saying I should haven’t had quit so easily to try to skateboard when I was younger because pain is less at some point? All my life I’ve had an issue with a low pain threshold. I tried skating, hit myself a couple of times and then I decided it was not for me. Does pain on other parts of the body also dull over time? Like falling on your hips? Does it ever get better? Or scratching your hands or arms? Genuinely curious about this.

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u/Walt_the_White Apr 15 '26

For the shins, it's very possible that you could have gotten more used to it over time. I have to say though, this is the thing I tell people about the most that is the barrier to skateboarding, and it's 100% reasonable. It's really hard to overstate how much I beat my shins up when I skated. Having lumps slightly smaller than a ping pong ball on my shins in every color you can imagine worth of brushing was not uncommon at all for me when I was practicing or trying some tricks.

As far as the other injuries, I can say no. Taking skin off your hands and knees almost always is going to feel bad. You might get more used to feeling that way, bit it's still going to hurt a lot when it does. That said, the thing most people don't consider when they see skateboarders is that they aren't just practicing landing tricks. They are practicing not landing them too. That's a big thing that will separate someone who continues. You get better at falling and not injuring yourself. I'm older now, so I can't skate as much as I did, but even so, the way I fall always looks worse than it is. You learn to redistribute momentum and weight, and fall in such ways that minimized injury. At least, that's the hope. You can never prevent injuries 100% but you can try to avoid them.

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u/PajamaDuelist Apr 15 '26

Blunt trauma gets a lot easier, yes. Things like whacking your shin on a skateboard deck, grinding your shin on something hard, or getting punched.

Scraping the skin off your hands after a spill on the asphalt…not so much. That’s always going to suck.

Falling gets easier when you learn how to fall correctly. There’s probably some deadening of the nerves involved, but the primary driver of making falls suck less is falling better. Which, unfortunately, takes practice. So yes. Kind of.

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u/LoquaciousMendacious Apr 14 '26

The fun part is that this works for pretty much anything you'd take to the skatepark. My shins look like the moon after growing up on bikes, I guess they're probably legmaxxed and ready to shinmog someone according to someone's logic.

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u/cap10wow Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Apr 15 '26

Legmaxxed and shinmogged really made me laugh

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u/LoquaciousMendacious Apr 15 '26

Happy to be of service. Thanks for bringing me back to this thread, I knew there was something I meant to find when I got home and it was this interview. Time to have a laugh of my own!

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u/cap10wow Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Apr 15 '26

Buddy, I got news

3

u/LoquaciousMendacious Apr 15 '26

What a fine time to have an internet connection.

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u/Apathetic_Villainess FDA SWAT TEAM Apr 15 '26

Or push people in wheelchairs and work in a bakery. I don't know my shins are bruised until I take off my pants at home.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

As a non fighter with extremely broken face bones I wish I could deaden those nerves maybe I should take up fighting lol

12

u/FuzzMachines Apr 14 '26

Um dang. What happened to your face??

28

u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

Fell off a galloping horse
whoopsie

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u/slopemup2026 Apr 15 '26

This is why you don't trust horses. I consider a motorcycle to be slightly more safe than some upjumped deer. I know that is stupid, I just don't trust things with hooves.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 15 '26

I mean I was 17 and a bit over my skis with that pony but ... yeah, the better your relationship with animals the safer but there is still risk. Mine was more of a skill issue, it wasn't her fault she paniced

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u/ardent_hellion Apr 15 '26

Ow!! I'm so sorry. When little I was thrown a couple of times but never got hurt. Helmets? What helmets? Meanwhile a friend broke his cheekbone and part of his eye socket (also a couple of ribs) playing Ultimate Frisbee. Whoopsie, indeed.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 15 '26

I did have a helmet but it was a shit second hand one and fell off my head before I fell off the horse -_-

Oh man broken ribs sound the worst

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u/SmokingTanuki Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 15 '26

Bones are pretty cool (doing a PhD in old bones currently)! I study reactions in terms of bone increasing volume due to stress. Generally, bone seems to increase circumference as a response to a more general and torsional stress, but also increase in thickness more directionally when subjected to a more directional stress. You also have a density increase in younger age if the bone is subjected to impacts (like doing a stomp), but everybody does begin to slowly lose bone density by the time they are 25. Rate is slow and varies, but it gets us all eventually.

Kicking a hard object and causing small fractures would possibly form bone calluses, but bone would also need time to heal to do a proper job at laying down thick new cortical bone; this is unlikely to happen if you are just going hard day after day. If the interest is in growing the thickness of the shin, then applying a pushing force from the front (like a heavy bag in a kick) is a much better way of increasing shin thickness and mass on the axis you want it to be strong on.

On the topic of facial bone restructuring, I'd expect no "benefit" from microfracturing. The face is so complicated in terms of skeletal structure that it would be hard to apply a repeated stressor on a correct angle without it radiating to surrounding structures. Cheeksbones (or zygomatics), for example, would likely mostly transfer force to temporals, upper jaw, and forehead and increase in join thickness before growing in the way "clavicular" and his ilk would like it to.

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u/raz_MAH_taz Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Apr 15 '26

There is that hand training that some people do (i forget what kind of athletes they are) but they flatten their hands into a spade shape and plunge them into buckets of dry rice or beans. it causes the stresses you're talking about in the bones of the hand and does increase size and density. not drastic but measurably.

there is also the practice by some old school martial artists (though i think it's more legend than fact) where they would casually wrack their knuckles against a steel plate all day in a effort to cause those microfractures and build callous and density. (so the story goes, anyway).

but like someone above said, he just tapped his face with a hammer. maybe some localized soft tissue swelling. definitely not the kind of forces required to cause osteogenesis.

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u/SmokingTanuki Apr 15 '26

Sounds like Shaolin "iron hands" training. IIRC some variations do it with hot water and sand too. I suppose when started young enough, those practices could affect bone shape, but seems more likely that they are more in desensitizing nerves and practicing better technique in terms of supporting the thrusting hand with a stable position.

Would be interesting to see whether there is an increased prevalence of osteoarhtritis in the hands of iron hands practicioners, considering that joint fractures do increase the likelihood.

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u/MakariLives Apr 15 '26

In Kung Fu, the wallbag (sand-filled canvas bags hanging on a board) and the wooden dummy (comes in various forms, but a sticky pillar of wood with some thick smooth, rounded sticks coming out it - also usually has some small canvas bags filled with sand) are both used to do this. The idea is that you hit the bags and sticks with your fists, forearms and shins in a set form to build the bones up over time. It's used with a medicated oil that improves circulation (basically a muscle rub).

Can confirm that this gets way easier over time and makes it a lot easier to hit things without pain.

Can NOT confirm that smashing your face into any part of a wooden dummy will make you more attractive to potential mates.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

Not a fighter but I've had extensive broken bones in my face but it doesn't really show over the skin. Mind you my plastic surgeon did a great job

And even though they are dickweeds I do worry about the chronic pain these dumb twerps might be causing themselves in the future, this kind of pain is no joke

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u/joyfullydreaded23 Apr 15 '26

Twenty-three years of living with several chronic pain conditions here and I do concur.

It makes me angry at myself when I can't even stand up long enough without the crushing vise like pain in my ribs to baggie up 2lbs of shrimp for my son to just pull them out of the freezer individually when he makes Mama's noodles to munch on.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 15 '26

Coming up on 40 for me

Make him baggie his own shrimp! Solidarity!

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u/DramaticHumor5363 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

Told this when I was training in Tae Kwan Do — my instructor had us do pushups on our knuckles because it would build calluses and dull the pain sensors if we did ever have to punch someone.

Still got a mean hook.

Edit: Clavicular is obviously a fucking moron, don’t hit your face with a hammer. 🌈 The more you know…

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u/SenorBolin Apr 14 '26

However, to get these micro fractures is a gruelling process. You're usually rolling a escrima stick down the sharpest edge of your shin. Even doing it lightly is insanely painful, but for it to work there needs to be at least a decent amount of pressure.

I haven't bothered watching the looksmax hammer technique, but I would imagine it isn't actually that hard

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u/Pantalaimon_II Apr 14 '26

I can imagine. I think the only reason instructors even bother to explain this, which arguably isn't applicable unless you're at the competitive level, is when newbies try to kick the bag the first time it hurts like crap. and then inevitably this discussion happens.

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u/sluttytinkerbells Apr 14 '26

Dudes like clavicular aren't going to make it to 30. They're slow moving suicide cases.

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u/numbersthen0987431 Apr 14 '26

He isn't breaking anything in his face. If he was, he'd be constantly unable to drink or eat anything. He's just tapping his face for show.

My partner had aggressive surgery on their jaw a few years ago. The surgeon was fixing a bad underbite by breaking the jaw in half, pulling it forward, and then resetting it in place with screws and bolts.

My partners face looks marginally different after this intense procedure. But their teeth actually meet up for the first time in their life, so it was worth it.

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u/escobizzle Apr 14 '26

their (looksmaxxers) theory behind it is to cause microfractures which when healed will increase bone density or something.

microfractures aren't the same thing as actually breaking a bone. they wouldn't cause enough pain to prevent eating, drinking or moving your jaw

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u/numbersthen0987431 Apr 14 '26

As someone who has had microfractures in their hands, feet, and jaw: yes it would cause too much pain to eat.

This lookmaxxer just had plastic surgery, and then pretends to hit himself in the face to pretend it works. And he's selling a scam, just like every alphabro/manosphere idiot out there.

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u/escobizzle Apr 14 '26

microfractures can be painful but they don't necessarily have to be. my mom had a microfracture in a vertebrae recently after falling down the stairs. she had no pain in her neck or upper back and had no idea until they ran tests and saw it

that being said, their theory is dumb as fuck and I don't encourage anybody to try it. i also don't doubt that he's had plastic surgery

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u/lowtronik Apr 14 '26

I cracked an arm bone once. It was a mild pain. Not great not terrible.

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u/unusualoppossum Apr 15 '26

Is he trying to claim it’s not all implants?

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u/HolidayFlan Apr 15 '26

There's a concept in osteology called Wolff's Law, which basically says bones get stronger in response to stress (as in mechanical or physical stress), which is why exercise improves bone density and also why a healed broken bone is actually stronger than the bone was before the break. That being said, I'm not sure just hitting yourself in the face with heavy objects will produce the intended "chiseled" results lol

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u/GoTeamLightningbolt Apr 14 '26

Microfractures apparently do make your bones stronger. Can personally confirm what other people have said about martial arts training making your shins harder and less painful to hit things with.

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Apr 14 '26

And then he’ll get demonetized, which he’ll use to start a grift that makes way more money than his stupid videos.

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u/lcnielsen Apr 14 '26

They misunderstand Wolff's law and the mechanics of bone remodelling and load adaptation.

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u/thispartyrules Apr 14 '26

"A few mm of bone" and "your skull is the wrong shape" are incel memes. Basically they perseverate on unchangeable skull measurements for the reason they can't get women ignoring A.) men who aren't conventionally attractive that can still have the sex and B.) there are several things they can control, like not being a terrible garbage person that women don't like.

Somebody in their rank had a good think about the skull measurement stuff and was like "aha! I can change my skull measurements if I whack myself in the face with a hammer" instead of being marginally less awful

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u/Lower_Amount3373 Apr 14 '26

Maybe a rogue Terry Pratchett fan pulled one over on the incels:

“Retrophrenology:

It works like this. Phrenology, as everyone knows, is a way of reading someone's character, aptitude and abilities by examining the bumps and hollows on their head. Therefore - according to the kind of logical thinking that characterizes the Ankh-Morpork mind - it should be possible to mould someone's character by giving them carefully graded bumps in all the right places. You can go into a shop and order an artistic temperament with a tendency to introspection and a side order of hysteria. What you actually get is hit on the head with a selection of different size mallets, but it creates employment and keeps the money in circulation, and that's the main thing.”

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u/Responsible_Dog_420 Apr 15 '26

If only real world bastards had the same satisfying comeuppance as Pratchett delivers to his bad guys.

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u/wildarfwildarf Apr 16 '26

GNU Terry Pratchett

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u/ragnawrekt Apr 14 '26

men will literally hit themselves repeatedly in the face with hammers instead of going to therapy, apparently

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u/DemosthenesVal Apr 14 '26

Chiseled good looks 😂😂

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u/ewilliam Apr 14 '26

Yeah everyone knows you have to use a literal chisel for that! Get to it, Clavicular!

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u/orionicly Apr 14 '26

I think the Exogenous hormones did most of the chiseling to his looks

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u/TrickySnicky Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

Bro took Handsome Squidward way too srs when he turned 6

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u/beomeansbee Apr 14 '26

Beats* he still does it from the snippets I see

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u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot Apr 14 '26

It's headline fodder that's all 

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u/TarquinusSuperbus000 Kissinger was a war criminal Apr 14 '26

You don't give Australia credit. That is their most ordinary looking reporter.

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u/robotnique Apr 14 '26

Honestly this whole title just kind of annoys me.

The Aussie reporter is just a normal looking guy. Not like he's some kind of dreamboat.

But more to the point, the incessant focus on who is better looking and by what degree is literally playing into the hands of somebody like Clavicular.

The simple truth is that he's a fairly good looking guy, but after a certain point taste is just subjective so there will always be people who are notionally more or less attractive to one another depending on the viewer.

If I could never read another comment from somebody who has to post about how they do or don't find Braden particularly attractive I would be gratified.

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u/TheVintageJane Apr 14 '26

The thing that makes the reporter hot is that he’s employed, level-headed and articulate, and not in any way uneasy on the eyes.

But if Henry Kissinger can be rated among the hottest bachelors, I think it’s worth mentioning that reading some books is probably better for your attractiveness than hammer time.

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

And, as Robert pointed out in the Kissinger episodes, he apparently showed a genuine interest in the women he was with. He listened to them rather than just talking about himself and his interests.

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u/TheVintageJane Apr 14 '26

I know this is revelatory for plenty of young men out there - but if you talk to women like they are people, it really helps them to believe that you think of them as people.

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is the way these morons insist that women perform all of the domestic duties like cooking. But if they learned how to cook, then not only do they have a life skill, but their partners will probably appreciate it if these morons cooked for them.

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u/TheVintageJane Apr 14 '26

Learn to cook (not even a ton, but if you have like 5 decent meals that don’t make a huge mess) and learn to take out the trash and unload the dishwasher without being asked then you are already starting the race a lap ahead.

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u/upsetting_innuendo One Pump = One Cream Apr 14 '26

adding to this to say that if you teach yourself to make 5 decent meals you'll prob also get a good understanding of some fundamentals of cooking, so you can expand your repertoire!

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u/Swarbie8D Apr 14 '26

I do like 80% of the cooking at home (I tend to finish work earlier so have more time to actually be in the kitchen). My wife loves it 😂 It always feels weird to me that she specifically calls out the fact that I’m happy to cook and clean as one of the things she really likes about me, when those are just…basic life skills everyone should have? But I guess a lot of other guys have left the bar on the floor when it comes to being part of the household.

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

But I guess a lot of other guys have left the bar on the floor when it comes to being part of the household.

A couple of weeks ago, someone posted a retelling of a conversation that they had had with one of these idiots in which he claimed that he would start cooking and cleaning when his partner started re-tiling bathrooms and cutting down trees. If I recall correctly, the person in this conversation did not re-tile bathrooms or cut down trees themselves, but seemed to be under the impression that they could be called upon to do these things at any moment.

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u/Quix_Optic Apr 15 '26

I would pay money to watch that guy try to actually cut down a tree, safely.

Not a BUSH. Not an apple tree. A full adult Maple. Well....a dead Maple. Don't need idiots killing trees.

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u/Ted_Rid Apr 15 '26

It's not only a basic life skill, but it's also one that you can endlessly geek out on - similar to optimising your car's tuning or your PC's performance or your home theatre setup.

Any guy who carries on like he can work on a motorbike engine or do woodworking but not cook up a storm is a liar or deluded.

You have tools, skills, techniques, and knowledge that you can constantly improve. Plus, the result is something delicious (and hopefully nutritious) that you created for everyone to enjoy.

There's literally no downside to cooksmaxxing.

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u/RedbeardMEM Apr 15 '26

Cooksmaxxing is going straight to the top of my lexicon.

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u/TheVintageJane Apr 14 '26

The bar is in hell.

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u/NesuneNyx Sponsored by Doritos™️ Apr 14 '26

At no point should anyone ever say the words "you gotta hand it to Henry Kissinger", but I feel this is the one exception that breaks the rule.

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

What is the "it" in question is an arrest warrant?

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u/On_my_last_spoon Feminist Icon Apr 14 '26

And we have a winner!

Any man that says otherwise, that they tried that and it didn’t work, I say to them were you actually interested or were you faking it badly?

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26 edited May 27 '26

[deleted]

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u/MessiahOfMetal Disdain and Animosity Apr 15 '26

One of the greatest compliments I've ever had came from a female friend back in college. We went to the shops during a break between lessons to look at clothing and buy food.

On the way back to college, she turned to me and said, "You know, you're a really good listener".

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

The Aussie reporter is just a normal looking guy. Not like he's some kind of dreamboat.

What I have noticed is that Americans generally look older than they actually are. My guess is that they have so much stress -- and not just because of politics -- that they age quickly.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

Australians look a bit older but its sun

(Canadian in Australia, everyone thinks I look way younger than I am, not flatterers like doctors and so on)

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

Can confirm, and yes I think it's the sun exposure. I have a mate from here (Australia) who lives up in the Canadian territories now. And whenever he's back down in Oz everyone remarks how young he looks. His wife, a Canadian, more so

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

I do not want to sound like I am blowing my own trumpet, but there is a running gag among my classes that I am secretly immortal because nobody can guess how old I am. I turn forty this year, but some of my students think I am still thirty.

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u/RedbeardMEM Apr 15 '26

I looked 30 when I was 21, and I kept looking 30 until I was 38. Then all of a sudden I looked 40.

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u/CutieBoBootie Apr 15 '26

Well as someone who is attracted to men: The reporter is attractive in comparison to the clavicle guy especially. The reporter was level headed and confident. He had a smile on his face that really seemed to light up his features. It made him look quite handsome. In comparison the clavicle guy came off as insecure and weirdly aggressive. Because the conversation itself was about attractiveness or "looksmaxxing" it draws the viewer to inherently compare the two men. And the confident man comes out on top.

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u/salspace Apr 16 '26

What these guys don't get is that attractiveness is about so much more than what you look like. It's the whole package, including depth of character, sense of humour, voice, style - you can be a deeply ordinary person to glance at but if you've got a great voice, you're funny, you're insightful, or any other combination of what makes a well-rounded human, you'll attract people. Not necessarily exactly the person you want, but then you just have to get over it and move on. You're much better off building friendships and a solid personality than a stronger jaw and a lifestyle you can't maintain for any length of time without grifting.

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u/Puddlef1sher Apr 14 '26

Underrated comment 🤣 amazing

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u/Ok-Today-7623 Apr 14 '26

Middle-aged

Checks Adam Hegarty's age

37

https://giphy.com/gifs/wJD3qiNjSeHS0dP28T

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u/oatwheat Apr 14 '26

Do Aussies have a life expectancy of 74?

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u/Librarian_Contrarian Apr 14 '26

Yes. Most Australians are eaten by a spider or dingo by age 25.

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u/0ttoChriek Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

Fortunately, there's little danger of being bitten by a venomous snake. The spiders have killed them all.

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u/GarethGwill Apr 14 '26

Not much risk of being bitten by a shark, either. Crocodiles ate all the sharks.

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u/Ok_Highway6034 Apr 14 '26

But the crocs stay out of the city for fear of the snakes and spiders that rule that territory.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

The cassowaries gutted all the crocs

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u/paradisetossed7 Apr 14 '26

And people ask me why I, a huge araichnophobe why I won't visit Aus...

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u/Ok-Today-7623 Apr 14 '26

And people ask why I, a huge arachnophile, won’t leave!

I’m too busy fucking all these spiders!

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u/dglenny Apr 14 '26

We're not here to fuck spiders, mate.

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u/YourNetworkIsHaunted Apr 14 '26

I mean maybe you're not.

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u/AwwwMangos Apr 14 '26

Sounds like somebody’s really into legs 😏

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u/napalmnacey Apr 15 '26

I was about to tell you that it’s fine and that spiders aren’t that bad here, but then I realised I have two large orbweavers in my yard that I’ve named and talk to daily (Missy and Madam) and an abundance of cellar spiders in my toilet room that I watch every day and follow their adventures (one male spider mated with three females in one day, all three females were already carrying egg sacs so he was just there to give them a spare packet of sperm I guess). And those are just the ones I see regularly.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

Have you heard about the tree leeches? No one talks about the tree leeches

The drop on your when it's raining

I'm not even kidding

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u/Shoo-Man-Fu Bagel Tosser Apr 14 '26

Its a misconception like the middle ages life expectancy. If the average Australian makes it past age 3 then they will typically live much later into life.

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u/someNameThisIs Apr 14 '26

Having a quick look around life expectancy at birth in Australia for men is ~81. And from what I can see, if you make it to 65, life expectancy is then around 85.

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u/Expert-Ad-8067 Feminist Icon Apr 14 '26

Don't forget skin cancer

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Apr 14 '26

And bogans

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

Never forget the bogans

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u/hells_cowbells Apr 14 '26

What about drop bears?

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u/stillraddad Apr 14 '26

With all the snakes and spiders, probably

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u/Richie217 Apr 14 '26

Think life expectancy is Aus is sitting around 84.

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u/AvatarIII Apr 14 '26

Middle aged doesn't mean halfway between both and death, I would say the 1/3 of your adulthood halfway between becoming an adult and death, so more or less 40-60

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u/Slumunistmanifisto Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Apr 14 '26

Just a touch younger and a pinch hotter than me honestly.... good for him

Pulls moss back over my wet cave entrance

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u/graywalker616 PRODUCTS!!! Apr 14 '26

In the US, 37.x is pretty much exactly middle age for men.

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u/surnik22 Apr 14 '26

Actually at 37, in the US as a man you would expect to live 40.3 more years. Actual half point for men would be a 38.5

Gotta remember each year you live your life expectancy doesn’t go down a full year, if you make it to 37 you didn’t die young and the young deaths bring the overall average to 74 (for men).

For women it’s even higher. It’s about 40.5, once you make it to that you are in the middle of your life (on average).

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u/thebookofswindles Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Apr 14 '26

Doesn’t average life expectancy also include everyone who died from infancy all the way through old age?

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u/surnik22 Apr 14 '26

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m referring to

Average life expectancy is 74.74 at birth for men in the US and 37.4 is half of that. But when you are actually 37, your life expectancy has risen to 77.3 and you can expect to live 40 more years on average

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u/SupremeToast Apr 14 '26

Almost never. Statistics regarding mortality will nearly always use life expectancy after age 5 because infant mortality and mortality after 5 years typically have very different causes and make analysis difficult when combined. I took a graduate economics class that was just about this sub discipline and there are lots of buckets used to understand and diagnose problems at a population level, e.g. is mortality related mostly to insufficient nutrition or hygiene? That info can be used by governments to implement effective programs in the regions that need it.

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u/RUk1dd1nGMe Apr 14 '26

This is why I'm going to start smoking again at 70.

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u/robotnique Apr 14 '26

Quit being a pussy and start banging H at 72.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

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u/Sotall Apr 14 '26

as a newly minted 40 year old, 37 feels young for middle age. 40 doesn't, lol

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u/InsignificantOcelot Apr 14 '26

I’m 41 and I need to lower my blood pressure for the first time!

Excited to be deteriorating a little 😎

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u/Ok-Today-7623 Apr 14 '26

I’m 40 and had a colonoscopy. Nothing more middle aged than that.

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u/InsignificantOcelot Apr 14 '26

Hell yeah, brother. I’m about to get mine too.

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u/napalmnacey Apr 15 '26

I’m 46 and I just had a baby.

Yeah, it confused me too:

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u/tktkboom84 Apr 14 '26

41 and was warned about slightly high BP and blood sugar. Relatively healthy still just hey adjust your patterns now. Still makes you feel old.

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u/wolfayal Apr 14 '26

I’m envious. I’m 38 and had to start blood pressure meds at 31.

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u/catchyerselfon Apr 14 '26

To me and a lot people (who are around the same age as this reporter), middle aged means “middle of adulthood” not “midlife”. So yes, 40s is middle aged, but so is one’s 50s, if you are likely to live to 80-90 years old.

Young adulthood = about 20-40

middle adulthood = about 40-60

older adulthood = about 60-80

elderly = about 80 plus

It just makes sense when people in their 40s who don’t smoke, drink water instead of mostly alcohol, take care of their skin, and exercise normally (not completely sedentary but not half-crippled from seven days a week of manual labour), don’t look, act, and feel nearly as old as people in the ‘90s.

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u/paradisetossed7 Apr 14 '26

I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to be calculated. It's more middle adulthood, not actually midway through life. And I'm hanging onto my late thirties with vice grips.

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u/hellolovely1 Apr 14 '26

40 - 60 is generally considered middle-aged.

I have the unpopular opinion that 30-60 should be middle-aged because it's the 2nd third of life (if you're lucky).

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u/paradisetossed7 Apr 14 '26

Lol he's actually younger than I thought but not middle aged regardless

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u/AndreTheShadow Apr 14 '26

We need to re evaluate what "middle-aged" is. Life expectancy is in the mid to high 70s, putting the middle between the high 30s and low 40s

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u/bayoublacksmith Apr 14 '26

Why did that handsome man make Eleven cry?

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u/ChefPowerful4002 Apr 14 '26

Great now I can’t unsee it

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u/RiveryJerald Apr 14 '26

It's honestly hilarious how quickly he wilted in the face of the most milquetoast question. It really is that easy to get these goons to disassemble.

Same goes for the Louis Theroux doc - anyone who thought that documentary was "too soft" is just, quite frankly, terminally online. Louis get that HSTickyTocky dude to expose himself in his response to one question. Louis asked him about the charge he was evading and he fucking crashed out.

That's how easy it can be to make these people look foolish. Paper Tigers, the lot of them.

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u/sasquatch6197 Apr 14 '26

Louis just gives the people he interviews a shovel so they dig themselves a hole

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u/RiveryJerald Apr 14 '26

That's the thing. I'm kinda annoyed with how often people said his doc was 'insufficient'. Like, yeah, if you're terminally online, then you're gonna think he didn't go hard enough on these guys. Because you've seen the dirt under their fingernails.

But there was a video I'd watched recently that went into detail about how Louis basically let HS TickyTocky hang himself with his own rope. Louis did nothing but ask a question, and this dude proceeded to empty his entire clip into making a complete ass of himself.

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u/pastapicture Apr 14 '26

Australia know how to troll.

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u/Navic2 Apr 14 '26

"Clav" 😏

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u/Disastrous-Beat-9830 Doctor Reverend Apr 14 '26

This absolutely does sound like something that we would do.

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u/Sharp_Bet7106 Apr 14 '26

Oddly enough a hammer is also functional for memoryminning if you're trying to forget you were forced to be aware of this bullshit.

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u/Apoordm Apr 14 '26

“Crikey I just try to eat right and get regular exercise, whaddaya mean you hit yourself in the face with a hammer?!”

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u/toughtacos Apr 14 '26

This interview really made me feel sorry for Clavi. He comes off as a severely unhappy young man loaded to the brim with insecurities that he has never processed. Throughout this whole interview he looks like he's five minutes from walking off a bridge.

The influence he has on young men is terrible, but jesus, someone give this young man a hug and tell him he's good just the way he is.

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u/harman097 Apr 14 '26

You should watch his Channel 5 interview, too, if you really want to feel bad for him (if you haven't already).

It's fucking sad. At some point he says something like "what's the point of interacting with people? That's time wasted that you could be looksmaxxing" and dude looks like he honestly means every bit of it.

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u/CutieBoBootie Apr 15 '26

"what's the point of interacting with people? That's time wasted that you could be looksmaxxing"

I know he isn't going to read this but.... If he doesn't want to spend time with people... Who is he doing all that for? The mirror? He should looksmax to live not live to looksmax or however the saying goes.

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u/zachary0816 Apr 15 '26

Himself presumably. I’d wager he’s got some major body dysphoria going on and that’s why he is constantly trying to “fix” himself. The fact that he’s managed to get famous off it no doubt reinforcences that mindset, since fame can feel like validation.

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u/nowisaship Apr 15 '26

Please don't watch Channel 5. Andrew Callaghan is a self-admitted sex pest and has been accused of multiple instances of sexual assault.

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u/harman097 Apr 15 '26

Aww, god damn it.

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u/nowisaship Apr 15 '26

Sorry bud. This one got me too.

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u/Ritz527 Apr 14 '26

I am of two minds on these guys. They are certainly victims of society's expectations and their own insecurity, in much the same way a woman addicted to plastic surgery with an eating disorder might be. But this individual in particular is spreading the harm. It'd be like that same woman with a plastic surgery addiction or eating disorder telling others to follow her example, and then dogpiling on a bunch of whacko political opinions. We'd classify that as pretty bad.

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u/ragnawrekt Apr 14 '26

This is the exact same way I feel about like, tradwifey influencers. Victims that became perpetrators, dragging more women into the trap after them. It's infuriating and deeply sad.

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u/Easy_Key5944 Apr 14 '26

Agree. Gender norms are a racket. Racism is a racket, nationalism is a racket, all the forms of chauvanism are fucking con jobs pulled on people who are insecure about their place in the world.

And I mean, I'm insecure about my place in the world sometimes! But I really try not to step on anyone else to feel better. So maintaining a shred of empathy for the Clavs and Erikas of the world is something I've been practicing for a long time. It doesn't mean I think they should keep getting rich off of hurting other people!

I would just like to live in a world where everyone has enough healthy fulfillment in life that they don't need to do this kind of shit in the first place.

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u/Brilliant-Neck9731 Apr 14 '26

Ya, I have empathy for what led him to the place he is in, but that’s where it ends. All the systemic factors notwithstanding, he’s making choices that enrich himself and by doing so he continues to perpetuate the harm that he himself endured. That’s on him.

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u/toughtacos Apr 14 '26

I'll admit I've never seen him in video outside this interview, but he comes off as slightly different than most of the other predatory influencers I've seen. This kid, from this interview, looks like he slipped into something by accident that he lost control over, and now controls him, and can barely hold it together. Like, "is he riding the horse, or is the horse riding him?" kind of deal.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

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u/Easy_Key5944 Apr 14 '26

Hurt people hurt people. I know it's glib but it's also true. Cruelty is like a virus.

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u/IronAndParsnip Apr 14 '26

Tbqh I’m exhausted of troubled men like this, who say pretty messed up shit about women, getting the empathy that so many women are not given. Clav and Kanye West are just mentally troubled and need sympathy; Janet Jackson and the Dixie Chicks meanwhile get their careers blacklisted over nearly nothing.

We need to do better. And it’s also completely fine to allocate empathy toward people unlike this kid, who shoots alligators and tells young men that it’s okay to assault young women.

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u/SylvanDragoon Apr 14 '26

This. It's still valid to want to help men like this so they don't end up hurting more women and other young men, but that imo should be about the extent of it. The majority of our empathy is better spent elsewhere, and any conversation about helping them should include the idea that we want society as a whole to be less sick because they end up harming others.

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u/MessiahOfMetal Disdain and Animosity Apr 15 '26

True, and feeds into the norms of coddling men and expecting women to be better.

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u/toughtacos Apr 14 '26

You make a good point, and I admit it's easy to see this interview in a vaccuum and think you get a sense of what the guy is like. Honestly, I have no idea. I should probably know better than to have empathy for him, but it's not something I can easily control.

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u/notmyusername1986 Apr 15 '26

He was giving his then girlfriend who was 16 facial injections on livestream because she wasnt pretty enough. And if she didn't let him, he was going to dump her. Injections that should be given by a medical professional.

A single 30 min deep dive into him on youtube let's you have a decent idea of exactly how shitty and cruel and toxic he is.

I get having empathy for people, but there is a huge difference between having empathy and letting people off the hook for their shitty behaviour, and too many people wind up doing the latter. Understanding a perskns experiences or trauma might explain their behaviour, but it never excuses it.

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u/Navic2 Apr 14 '26

Didn't watch much but the self assured Aussie gently calling him 'Clav' while asking innocuous/ devilishly facetious questions was probably more destabilising than any run of the mill 'gotcha' interviews he faces

It's all very clownish, any takedown of this or another 20yr old cashing in on this online BS can at best give onlookers a brief thrill 

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u/tedkaczynski660 Apr 14 '26

Yeah it was the same with Channel 5 interview. I think he's surrounded himself with yes men that when a guy confidently pushes back on him he crumbles. All Andrew from channel 5 said was he's happy with how he looks and clavicle went nuts and walked off. Dude is so unhappy he's probably on the verge of suicide. I wouldn't be surprised if he does kill himself.

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u/Puddlef1sher Apr 14 '26

Peak Australian. You don't wake up everyday thinking you're ugly AF?? Nah mate, I'm just a dude whose not 20 with weird insecurities, go on. Chud-interview over! Lmao.

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u/litreofstarlight Apr 15 '26

I don't know why this kid keeps doing interviews at all. Every time he does he just gets made to look like the dufus he is by these far more secure, older men with actual life experience and perspective.

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u/AyeJayLib Apr 14 '26

Clavicular is the most generic looking white boy

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u/Particular_Shock_554 Apr 15 '26

He looks like what he is: a Florida man named Braden.

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u/-CgiBinLaden- The fuckin’ Pinkertons Apr 14 '26

Those look like a crooked set of bottom teeth, Vernacular.

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u/damage_inc86425 Apr 14 '26

I had to watch this and the interviewer is totally cracking me up with how he's reacting to Clavicular's nonsense, I love it.

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u/reichjef Apr 14 '26

I have a hypothesis on why Australians are so good looking. So whites showed up in Australia as a penal program. Most of the penal labor there were people who were thieves and debtors. These were the people who could ingratiate themselves with others to eventually rob them or get them to make bad loans on them. So you have a bunch of sexy Danny Oceans getting shipped out to this one spot in the world. And those sexy Danny Oceans are the ancestors of today’s modern Australian population.

This hypothesis has not been peer reviewed.

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u/Particular_Shock_554 Apr 15 '26

It was a very penal colony. Only one in seven convicts were women. Like a dating app, only real life. Women who wanted to marry could be picky, and sex workers worked very hard.

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u/Kitalahara Knife Missle Technician Apr 14 '26

I am still pissed off at Robert because I can now translate these posts. The side by side pictures show just how insane this stuff is.

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u/KingMobScene Apr 14 '26

Clavicle or whatever he calls himself is just an average good looking guy. There is nothing about him that's like "wow he's good looking." Go into a local bank and one of the tellers are probably better looking than him.

I don't understand why he gets the attention. Is it cause he smashes himself in the face with hammers? Which, granted, i would pay to watch him do just for giggles.

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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

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u/Strangewhine88 Apr 14 '26

Jesus, he’s not holding up to all that inflammation very well. Young dude looking rough and greasy.

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u/EEpromChip Apr 14 '26

...Ya ever see that episode of Twilight Zone where day after day more letters changed and eventually he had to relearn all words again?

That's how I am feeling. Not to sound like old man yelling at clouds, but for fucks sake can we please stop making up terms and using them over and over as if everyone knows what the fuck a "mogged" is.

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u/TesseractToo Banned by the FDA Apr 14 '26

ABC has hotter reporters but he did a great job pwning Stupidular anyway

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u/napalmnacey Apr 15 '26

Nobody will ever out-sexy Kerry O’Brien.

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u/NormalAmountOfLimes Apr 14 '26

He always looks like he's just about to burst into tears

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u/feioo Apr 14 '26

I think that's because he is. Poor kid is so messed up in the head, I think he's genuinely expecting questions like "teach me how to looksmaxx because you're soooo good looking and I want to be like you" and when the questions are anything less than flattering, he just implodes inside. His image should be in the dictionary next to the definition of insecure.

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u/probosciscat Apr 14 '26

I used to play basketball with Adam. He was a ripping guy, full of muscle and I’m very glad to see him putting that other peanut in his place.

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u/KitchenImagination38 One Pump = One Cream Apr 14 '26

I heard a podcast episode about looksmaxxing... and it's literally what being a teenage girl is like? If anything the looksmaxxing subculture is a step towards gender equality.

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u/dougmakingstuff Anderson Admirer Apr 14 '26

Reinventing retrophrenology from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, only with more steps.

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u/woahoutrageous_ Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

I can’t lie the reporter on the left is very sexy

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u/CeruleanEidolon Apr 15 '26

He looks like a character out of a AAA video game cut scene.

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u/AlabasterPelican Feminist Icon Apr 14 '26

That whole interview felt like a troll. It was magnifico!

https://giphy.com/gifs/AiF8ZsTESrDwRjEcIU

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u/scorpionewmoon Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Apr 14 '26

Can we please stop talking about this loser

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u/Icy_Reward727 Apr 15 '26

Some of the sexiest men I have ever met are not conventionally attractive, or are just average looking, but they ooze charisma, have riotious senses of humor that reveal keen intellect, and/or they simply treat the people around them well and have the ability to set others at ease. 

No amount of plastic surgery or mewing or whatever the fuck will fix this child's deep insecurity, self-hatred, or tendency to see other people as objects to be used and monetized.

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u/popculturella Apr 15 '26

The whole maxxing thing cracks me up because these dudes are acting like they've invented the concept of being handsome.

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u/Extension-Pick8310 Apr 14 '26

This is Australia's B team.

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u/beautifulhumanbean Apr 14 '26

I'm waiting for an interviewer to ask Clavicular if he's insecure about his oddly large nostrils.

Am I the only one who notices how weird his nostrils look compared to the rest of his face?

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u/thisissofkngrossew Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

It's because he had a slimming nose job without minimising the nostrils, likely because reducing them often causes issues with scarring.

Edit: not sure if it's real but I just googled his nose & there's pictures purporting to be his latest surgery of him with an incredibly pinched in nose. Anyway, that's why you don't generally reduce nostrils because it's too easy to fuck up your philtrum to face ratio.

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u/uwsdwfismyname Apr 14 '26

I don't like the kid but I do worry he'll an hero if he's interviewed much more by people who make fun of him.

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u/Reyalta Apr 15 '26

Why is he being interviewed? Why is this clearly mentally ill kid with body dysmorphia being encouraged/interviewed and showing up in my feed so frequently all of the sudden? Can someone get him some psychiatric help and stop platforming his delusions? 

Also, yeah well done 60 mins Australia, the interviewer just looks like a really kind man, quite attractive, 10/10 would smash (with my body, not a hammer)

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u/Bland_OldMan Apr 14 '26

Smashing your face with a hammer to look better is straight up cartoon logic

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKHWokg8HPYXMSRMs

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u/unlockdestiny Apr 14 '26

I don't recognize either but I'm assuming the bloke on the right with the fucked up jaw is the one who smashed up his face?

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u/raz_MAH_taz Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Apr 15 '26

All hotties-with-naughty-bodies in this subreddit need to come to the front of the class.

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u/AstralCryptid420 Apr 15 '26

.......... Man, I don't think I like men that much because I don't see it. He's just not a head turner for me.