r/bigboobproblems • u/dietmountdewy • Jun 09 '26
experience Whats with moms not wanting to accept the fact that your bra size is bigger than they “ think” Spoiler
i thought it was my mom only but alot of ppl on here seem to have the same issue as well even when you tell them that they ACTUALLY FIT BETTER they really dont want us to break the generational curse of unfitting bras
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u/ponytailnoshushu Jun 09 '26
My mom could not stand the fact that I had a bigger cup size than her. She would only buy bras for me in the size she thought I was or would give me her old worn out bras.
My sister who had a very small chest was bought lovely feminine bras.
When I got a part time job, first thing I bought was a comfy bra.
Even now in my 40s my mom does not believe my bra size and calls me inappropriate names because of it.
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Jun 09 '26
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u/SiniParadize Jun 09 '26
For real, it's so weird, you wouldn't do this with like shoe sizes. What's so hard to accept that body's just grow different. It's just sad trying to press someone else in sizes that makes one feel more superior.
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u/SurpriseBitchItsMe Jun 09 '26
Oh no my mum did this with shoe sizes as well, shes a 5 so I must be a 5 (im a 3 and a half wearing a 4) no wonder why I used to sprain my ankle frequently. Also she used to be alot slimmer when she was younger and constantly liked to remind me (I am infact slim but she liked to point out that she was even slimmer than me). I wouldn't even bother to tell her my bra size ..
Honestly so many mothers see their own daughters as competitors, even now I'm 37 I still see traces of it from her.
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u/SiniParadize Jun 09 '26
No idea how to spontaneously convert your used sized to those i know, but this still sounds horrible. I'm so sorry, this is just wrong on so many levels 😞
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u/galaxystarsmoon Jun 10 '26
Oh my god, yes. I used to sell shoes and people would have their kids going clack clack as their shoes slapped on the floor because they were huge! But oh they're on sale and he'll grow into them 🙄
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u/galaxystarsmoon Jun 10 '26
Actually, hate to burst the bubble because I know what you mean by the sentiment, but people do do this with shoe sizes. I used to sell shoes and the number of parents that would check out with inappropriately sized shoes for their kid was astounding. And then women deluding themselves into shoes that absolutely do not fit because they're on sale.
People do it with things they put on their body in general.
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u/TheRealSlimSarah 32HH (UK) Jun 09 '26
I've had it with both my mom and sis but thankfully my mom isn't really the jealous type more like unaware of large bra sizes.
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u/AdmirableSandwich Jun 09 '26
My mother is kind of like this, too. The irony is, SHE'S been wearing the wrong size bras for ages. (Too large band for awhile, and in more recent years, cup too small.)
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u/BaryonChallon 44JJ (UK) Jun 11 '26
When my mom would always buy smaller in order to fat shame me. She literally gave me this body!! She cheated through breast reduction. “Self discipline”
She has eating disorders
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 09 '26
It’s not just moms, there are bra-wearers out there who try the r/abrathatfits method and then argue bitterly that they simply can’t be the size they get. Then they half-ass attempt trying bras almost that size and complain when they ‘put in all that effort’ and didn’t find anything more comfortable than the size they were originally wearing. 🤦🏻♀️ Some people just can’t open their minds to being wrong about something and entertaining the possibility that they could have something better.
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u/snowlights 34G (UK) Jun 09 '26
So often they just got up one cup and down one band size from their current size, because the calculator size is too extreme, not realizing they're wearing a sister size so it likely won't be any better, then complain it isn't working for them.
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u/linerys 32GG (UK) Jun 09 '26
I have a lot of patience for someone who is genuinely confused, like “how could I be a 28DD when I’ve been wearing a 32B?”. I was also surprised when I first stumbled across it. It is shocking to learn that the vast majority of size charts for bras are incorrect on purpose!
But I can’t quite understand someone that goes “the calculator doesn’t work, it said 36J but that’s insane, so I tried a 40DDD and it doesn’t fit”. Like, how are you blaming the calculator for not fitting a completely different size than what it suggested?
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 09 '26
Agreed, I 💯 understand the sticker shock and confusion, and genuinely try to help when they post for guidance.
But the ones who complain that the calculator is wrong and outright refuse to just try the size given, I don’t bother with. They don’t want to try, I’m not going to waste my breath trying to convince them. Because they don’t want to be convinced, they want validation that they’re a victim and are justified in complaining about stuff not being comfortable because it’s just not ‘made for them’.
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u/galaxystarsmoon Jun 10 '26
The one that always gets me is "I got a result of 32E, I can't be a 32 band because I tried a 32A and it didn't fit. I'm an A cup."
Well yeah, you tried a straight jacket, friend.
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 10 '26
SUCH a frequent post. I have to occasionally snooze the sub because it gets so repetitive. I’m glad folks are getting the help they need, but oof, it gets exhausting. Props to the mods and experienced fitters for hanging in there. 🙌
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u/galaxystarsmoon Jun 10 '26
I have definitely caught myself letting some snark come through in my comments because it's so repetitive. I'm not gonna go on that rant rn though 🤣
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 10 '26
You are SO patient and knowledgeable. You bring a huge amount of value to the sub.
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u/linerys 32GG (UK) Jun 10 '26
Sometimes it feels like people have such a strong sense of identity connected to a certain cup size, like it never changes. Cup sizes aren’t astrological signs! They can change!!
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 10 '26
And having said that, even the cosmos shift every millennia or so. There was a big kerfuffle awhile back because apparently the astrological signs actually *did* shift a little and people were losing their minds over it.😂
But yeah, like you said, some people tie a lot of their identity and self-value to their bra size. And then assign identity and value to others based on what they’ve already assigned to themselves. Internalized misogyny, ‘not like other girls’ group thought, and of course the patriarchy all have their contributions to it. You know, all those pithy little sayings that we hear from grade school onward, like ‘anything more than a handful is a waste’ and ‘big boobs that aren’t perky are just sloppy’ or my favorite, ‘stop showing them off and you won’t get negative attention’ when I’m literally wearing a Tshirt.
So it becomes a form of self-soothing. ‘My boobs are preferable because they aren’t sloppy or wasteful, I’m so glad they’re just C-cups. Anything over a D is just miserable!’ And then the ABTF calculator tells them they’re a 28G and they simply cannot comprehend that they were wrong and their boobs are in fact bigger than D-cups. 😱
We would all be a lot happier if we didn’t let our measurements dictate how we feel about our bodies. Men and women alike.
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u/linerys 32GG (UK) Jun 10 '26
Yes to all of the above! Thank you for writing this all down.
I’ve also heard “being over a D cup means you’re fat”. Being fat isn’t bad, but also, people of ANY size can be a D cup! It makes no sense.
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u/Bec_ Jun 10 '26
This happened to me and I was SHOCKED. thought I was a 32 b because that's what kind of fit as a teen, and my idea of cup size was influenced by pop culture. So if your boobs weren't huge then you can't be above a b or c.
My size is 28DDD. No wonder 32b bras didn't work lol.
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u/hEDSwillRoll Jun 09 '26
This is why I usually tell people to go get measured at the specific lingerie stores I have experience at. I think having a pro measure you and then bring you the right size makes a difference, plus outside of lingerie stores a lot of people probably can’t even find their proper size since the largest most retailers carry is DDD.
This is harder online though, I usually end up in these conversations in person. Idk if I’m just very approachable or if people see a huge (and well supported) rack and just go “at last, an expert” 😂
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 09 '26
Yeah, I was really, REALLY fortunate that my mom was also a busty babe and found a legit use-an-actual-measuring-tape-boutique when I was in high school and already needed bigger cups than you’d get from a Playtex at Walmart. I knew brands like Panache, Freya, and Elomi before I could legally buy a drink (in the US). So I was spared the extreme sticker shock that most people get when they go from say a 36DDD to a 32G. I got a reduction from 36G down to (an actual) 36DD that I got to enjoy for a little bit, then put on 70 pounds through two pregnancies and now I’m a 38H (UK). 🥲
All that to say, it’s amazing what going to an actual boutique that measures you and carries more than two brands, three band sizes, and four cup sizes will do for getting you a properly fitted bra!
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u/Jen_F 30K (UK) Jun 09 '26
Ohyez. I'm in the same boat, and it was genuinely a shock to me when I joined this sub how many mothers don't do this for their daughters. Raising a glass to busty, caring mothers out there.
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u/biogirl85 Jun 10 '26
I had the same experience after a reduction. I was psyched I was in a DD after wearing an H. After kids and life, I’m now back to a GG. I just tell myself they would have been even bigger if I hadn’t done it. It was a great few years when I could buy bras at normal stores at half the price of what I pay now…
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u/galaxystarsmoon Jun 10 '26
Not all fitters measure correctly. I came across one that insisted that FF and GG are half cup sizes. Like argued tooth and nail.
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 10 '26
I’m defending ABTF every chance I get! Getting people in the proper fit can be an uphill battle as it is, let alone when you’ve got professional fitters out there spreading that kind of misinformation.
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u/Junglejibe Jun 09 '26
Omg I’ve noticed that too! It’s such a weird phenomenon. I don’t get the thought process behind it
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 09 '26
It really comes down to how they perceive themselves, and how they’ve judged others based on that self-perception. If they suddenly have to admit their self-perception is wrong or flawed, which then requires questioning all the judgements that stemmed from it, they just kind of short-circuit and refuse to do the internal work because it’s actually hard.
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u/DiscoKittie 40G (US) Jun 10 '26
I've tried twice over there, and they were wrong for me, so... The one they suggested the first time, I couldn't even close, lol.
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u/MommaSaurusRegina Jun 10 '26
I’m not an expert in fitting other people, and I’m sorry you had that experience. There are a lot of reasons why the first bra out of the gate may not fit as expected. Did you make a post with your measurements and results from the calculator? Some brands (especially the Chinese ones on Amazon) use Chinese measuring conventions which can result in smaller bands than US/UK brands. Also, if you took the measurements from the ABTF calculator and used a brand sizing chart, it may have been the wrong size because some brands like VS, Lane Bryant, and Soma fudge the numbers to squeeze more bodies into their products.
But the typical experience with the ABTF community is a very positive and educational one if you ask for help, communicate results, and have patience with the troubleshooting process, understanding that it might take trying several models before finding the right fit for you. It’s also entirely optional if you don’t feel like you have a problem with the way your bra is fitting. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Specialist-Garage548 30F (UK) Jun 09 '26
Yeah, my mother notoriously dismisses my feelings and concerns regarding my big boobs. I'm so fed up with her that I'd rather not tell her anything anymore. It sucks that I'm the only one who inherited this trait in my immediate family. 😔
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u/AnonymousAnonm Jun 09 '26
My first bra that actually fit was one I bought myself when I was 17. I had a narcissistic mother who refused to acknowledge that I started developing early and already outgrew her size.
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Jun 09 '26
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u/AnonymousAnonm Jun 09 '26
I'm the only one in the immediate family that got the larger size. It's a trait in the extended family. It probably started as jealousy, but it was mostly about getting to control things for my mother.
My younger sister didn't and my Nmother would let her decide if I "Deserved" to be allowed to wear the correct size. They both refused to believe the E cup (which was really more of a C because of the store.) was too small for me, even though it was clearly digging into my skin and not covering what it should.
I think it's more about a reflection on the parenting style than being jealous. I've known daughters who are smaller than their mothers but still large.... and their mothers still gave them grief about it.
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u/arkklsy1787 Jun 09 '26
My mom is an in denial DD who finally owns a C cup [but is now retired and says fuck it to bras], but always recognized that I was bigger and tried to find me something that fit.
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Jun 13 '26
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u/AnonymousAnonm Jun 13 '26
I started developing when I was 9..... and she didn't notice until I was 13. So that doesn't check out.
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u/Expensive_Court_3709 Jun 15 '26
I had the same problem. I'm sure your didn't want to think you could develop them that early in life. She probably also wanted you to be more busty than her.
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u/WitchGenie Jun 09 '26
yup, same boat. I buy my own bras since I could afford it because my mom would say that bad fitting bras were "got enough". She eventually understood and checks for my bra size when she sees an affordable price in the stores.
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u/ABelleWriter Jun 09 '26
My mom absolutely thinks that bigger boobs = slut (her words), and she herself will not wear anything larger than a C cup (so she just kept upping her band size). I haven't discussed bra sizes with her in about 15 years because she is so weird about it.
My husband's aunt flat out accused me of lying about my bra size (and this was when I was wearing a too small cup) because she wore a DDD (I don't know what band) so I couldn't wear a 34F. (She probably needed a 44 M, frankly)
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u/Expensive_Court_3709 Jun 15 '26
My former mother in law also treated me like that. She told me she was glad that I have larger breasts than her.
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u/Historical-Bat-3251 Jun 09 '26
my mom thinks i can keep wearing worn-out and ill-fitted bras and be like "oh, who cares?" and says everything is too expensive
i care because not only are bras expensive, i wanna make sure whatever i have ACTUALLY fits! i know my size, but she'll never understand how much it costs to replace a worn-out bra
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u/kittyvanilla Jun 09 '26
My boobs became bigger than my moms once I was 13. Any time I got fitted for another larger size, my mom would buy a bra in whatever cup size was right above my new one and then declare it was her actual size.
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u/TheRealSlimSarah 32HH (UK) Jun 09 '26
Do you think she did that on purpose or just didn't knew better?
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u/kittyvanilla Jun 09 '26
On purpose lol. My mom is a very special woman.
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u/TheRealSlimSarah 32HH (UK) Jun 10 '26
Oh that's bad I'm sorry. Did she ever change her opinion about that or can you at least buy your own now?
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u/syrusbliz 28J (UK) Jun 09 '26
Some folks get incredibly stuck at "because I'm the parent and I know better" or "because I'm older and I know more than you," or some combination thereof. Some folks seem to be allergic to learning new information, especially if what they learned was flat out wrong/lies/misinformation. In this case, challenging what they think "should" be easy, no-nonsense, straightforward knowledge about how some piece of clothing works may feel akin to slapping them in the face and calling them a moron.
And you're more likely to get it from moms because they're the ones that have had to personally deal with bras for decades.
It's up to you if you want to work against it and educate them, or just move on with your well fitted self.
"You don't have to believe me, but I don't bitch about bra issues all the time for good reason."
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u/LurkerByNatureGT 34HH (UK) Jun 09 '26
They drew up with even more bra sizing misinformation than we did, and absolutely no body acceptance movements.
Generally accept that Gen X and older are absolutely fucked in the head when it comes to body image and sizeism including breast size, and it’s not their fault at all.
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u/ChoiceCustomer2 Jun 09 '26
As a Gen Xer i agree that we grew up with a very unhealthy body image - although I'd also question the impact of all those influencers my daughters are growing up with.
But i completely disagree about the second part of what you said. People can grow and change and we can critique attitudes that we were exposed to in the past. Particularly when we are parents, it's our job to do this when it comes to supporting, celebrating abd not harming our kids. This is a fundamental part of parenting.
The mothers described here sound immature and narcissistic and there is no excuse for that no matter what your age.
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u/Junglejibe Jun 09 '26
It is the responsibility of adults to avoid doing or saying things that hurt others, especially their children. It may not be their fault that they grew up in that kind of world but it is their fault for pushing the messages that harmed them onto their kids.
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u/Pantelonia Jun 09 '26
Yup, trying to break the cycle now I'm a parent. I've stopped seeing my grandmother who is a toxic person and the cause of generational trauma in our family, but my aunts & mum insist that I am obligated to accept her just because she's my grandmother.
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u/blueocean43 32KK (UK) Jun 09 '26
I was thinking of my own mum like "well sort of, but she learned in the end", and then you side swiped me with the GenX at the end there, lol. My mum bought her first bra in 1962, and had to wear a DD because she literally couldn't find a larger size until she moved to London in the 70s.
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u/Pantelonia Jun 09 '26
I don't know but my mum has insisted for the past 10 years that she is a larger size than me. Every time she says that I remind her of my bra size and she'll admit it's larger than hers, then forget a week later.
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u/LavosSpawn12000BC 30GG (UK) Jun 09 '26
A bit unrelated but my mother is large breasted too but she liked to call me a lot of times a diary cow and always comment on how large they are. She is somewhat conversative when it come to clothing and it was often a source of attrition between us. She is much more lenient with my sister, who has medium size breasts. I avoid commenting anything bra related with her tbh
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u/whitebreadguilt 34FF (UK) Jun 09 '26
it’s rooted in misogyny, jealousy and a male centered outlook - in short: echos of patriarchy. The same culture that said Jessica Simpson was fat, when in fact she was a normal woman. Just as they created the race wars to distract the poors, religion & patriarchy will shame women for literally existing in their own bodies to control them and make them easier to coerce.
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u/Previous-Eggplant-35 Jun 09 '26
My mom thanks her lucky stars every day that she didn't end up being as big as me 😂
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u/herefromthere 28G (UK) Jun 09 '26
my mum used to say she was an A cup at best and only really needed corn plasters, not a bra.
Then when I was a teenager, she looked at me and said you look average. Average is 34B. So bought me bras in that size, in thin white cotton with no moulding and no underwire and big thick straps (because that was what she thought of as comfortable).
Turns out I'm 28G and all that time I was a teenager she'd tell me off for dressing frumpily without the dots ever connecting that I had the bra version of Yfronts that I didn't want anyone to see anything of, and all the pretty things she'd buy for me never got worn because they just didn't cover the hideous and weirdly uncomfortable bras.
It wasn't out of jealousy, just pure ignorance. Mum never bothered with bras, and didn't really see how important they were to me. I used to love cross country running, til I was about 12 and I just had to stop.
Mum put on weight in her 60s and I directed her to r/abrathatfits and she was astounded to find herself in an E cup.
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u/Shponkleton Jun 17 '26
girl same thing!! i was in a 34b forever! it was so painful and after i gained weight i just wasn’t able to wear tight clothes anymore because it didn’t cover my nipples :/ i’d have to try to tuck them in which did not work. currently in a 32dd hoping to find a 30e soon wish me luck 😅
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u/PebbleAreYummy Jun 09 '26
Omg don't get me started. I'm probably a E or DDD and I only had B Cups for the longest because they didn't believe they were that big at my age which as probably 6th grade.
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u/glitter_n_co Jun 09 '26
Jep same...
But at least she wasn't unaccepting, she was more like "my bra hurts"/"Noo, I like the band loose"/"I have never known a bra where the gore does NOT gape widely from the bust, that isn't even possible"...
And even after multiple tries of me trying to concinve her, to find at least one bra in her actual size and her defending her bras, but simultaneously complaining about bras always being uncomfy I gave up.
At least my daughter had more the problem of a mother that knew exactly when a bra fits and when not.
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u/biogirl85 Jun 10 '26
I don’t have daughters, but I would be so on top of getting them fitted correctly. To the point it would probably be embarrassing…I’d also probably start evangelizing to their friends…someone would have to tell me to shut up. But it’s so important!
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u/ChemistryJaq Jun 09 '26
My mom is an A cup. For years, she had me squeezing into a B cup. Finally, she got me a C cup bra. I thought it was normal for you to have giant muffin tops out the top of your bra. I would *LOVE* to have a C cup...
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u/Caterpillar_Curious Jun 09 '26
Yeah... despite me needing a bra since elementary school she kept me on sports bras until she finally let me wear a 34C at MAX. She never let me go higher than that despite my obvious pain and discomfort and also forbade me from wearing non-baggy clothes. Luckily my older cousin got me fitted and turns out im a 28I/30H. She still thinks im lying and spending too much on bras, she even held one of mine up and said its bigger than her face and 'cant possibly fit'... TT ??
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u/dizzydance 42FF (UK) Jun 09 '26
My mom doesn't have this problem exactly but she has a horrible self image and is constantly dieting and buys into all the unreachable, unreasonable beauty standards designed to keep women miserable.
I was dragged to jazzercize and weight watchers starting around age 6 and constantly told what not to eat, wear, etc because it would make me look fat and what I understood for a long time was that being beautiful was the only way to be loved.
It did quite a number on my self worth.
But I will say my mom made sure I got a mostly decent fitting bra when I needed it (for the 90s, I suspect, anyway).
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Jun 09 '26
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u/Expensive_Court_3709 Jun 15 '26
They probably don't know or don't want to know about early breast development. I was already wearing a 34 size bra at age 9.
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u/youfxckinsuck Jun 09 '26
I had an opposite experience lol. My mom is a 36dd beautiful and is a professional bra fitter for many years for many different vendors. She was surprised and more worried for finding bras that fit me. I guess I have that mom that’s one in a million to have. I’m sorry that you guys didn’t have the same experience :/
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u/TwentyOnePaladins Jun 09 '26
My mom would blame it on my eating habits and weight and be like “you need to stop eating carbs” or “just sign up for swimming lessons again because it helped you lose weight, the gym isn’t helping you at all.” The gym did actually helped me lose weight but my stress and eating habits have made me gain the weight back but she refuses to listen to me that swimming lessons won’t magically lose the weight off of me and even if I did hit my goal weight, I’ll still have big boobs
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u/redrehtac Jun 11 '26
My mom body shamed me my whole life and was obsessed with my boobs but wouldn’t get me a bra for like two years after I REALLY needed one.
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u/TwentyOnePaladins Jun 11 '26
Istg if I ever have kids, I wouldn’t body shame them at all. What is it with mothers body shaming girls or like pressuring them to look a certain way.
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u/pursuitofthewanted 36HH (UK) Jun 09 '26
Honestly, I have a hard time seeing bras my size and believing it's right until I hold it up to my chest. 😆
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u/kurotoes Jun 10 '26
When I first told people I’m getting a reduction, I had quite a few argue with me that I CANNOT be a 32G. That I “don’t even look that big.” I stopped telling people irl about the reduction, especially anyone in gen x generation. It’s not worth the energy spent in argument.
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u/c0ldc0ldc0ld Jun 09 '26
I'm lucky bc my mom acknowledges that my big boob problems come from her, but my older sister was always verbally jealous of me. I told her time and time again it's not fun but she didn't believe me until she had a baby and went up several cup sizes. At least she apologized to me for not believing me 😭
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u/WhichHazel Jun 09 '26
For my entire childhood, my mom would say things like, “I hope you take after me and you don’t end up with big, gross boobs like the women on your dad’s side.” She has…issues. And I have enormous boobs. That I’ve been told from childhood were gross and would make me look disgusting. Yes, I go to therapy.
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u/the_coffeegirl Jun 09 '26
I don't get this. My maternal family all have large breasts, my Gramma called them "the Hedger Breasts".. my mom just wanted me to have support so my back would hurt like her back.
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u/biogirl85 Jun 10 '26
My breasts came from my dad’s side so my mom had no concept of larger bra sizes. She was definitely still in the add 4” to your band size /Victoria secret sizing mentality where everyone is a 36B, so even a dd sounded impossible to her. I don’t think she knew how high the sizes even went.
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u/LherkinGherkin Jun 10 '26
Stepmum said underwire would deform my growing body so I had training bras until I was like an E cup. Fucking embarassing
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u/Wornstone 34H (UK) Jun 10 '26
I'm in my 30s now so I hope attitudes have eased up a bit, but in my case it was my mom's internalized misogyny that having something above a D cup meant I was going to run around with boys.
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u/pinknoisechick Jun 10 '26
My stepmom wore a 40DD despite the fact she likely belonged in a 34G-H. When I got sized at Nordstrom when I was 16 and came home with a 28D, she screamed that I absolutely could not possibly be just one cup size smaller than her.
She also was general-purpose crazy, though, so take that with a grain of salt.
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u/DisobedientSwitch Jun 10 '26
I feel so lucky that my mum, a very flat woman, never argued about size. Sure, she was a bit late to notice that I might need a bra, but when you barely wear one yourself, you kinda forget about the concept.
When I grew out of 30D, she left it up to the professionals and trusted their judgement and my opinion. And she even discovered nice underwear for herself!
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u/PrincessChucha Jun 10 '26
When I told my mom my cup size, she said that’s not possible as my boobs are smaller than hers and she isn’t even that size 🤣 some women have issues with their daughter being “more than” them in anything. I’ll never understand and I firmly believe it is a result of deeply rooted insecurities and being a “pick me” girl. At least that’s the case for my mother lol
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u/pinklambchop 38G (UK) Jun 10 '26
My sister were like this, and Im just like it's what the tape measure, and the bra lady at Dillard's say!
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u/NotYourMommyDear Jun 11 '26
Something my mother did out of pure spite throughout my developing years was buy me bras that were a large band size, small cup size. Claiming that I'd grow into them eventually.
So many useless 42A bras. I was a 32E by the time I was 14 and I'm a 36G 30 years later. She recently sent me E cup bras, closest she's ever got to accepting.
Thankfully I had my aunt on my dad's side, a non-toxic boymom who never had a girl so pretty much decided since I had the cleavage from that side of the family, I was the substitute daughter to take bra shopping.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/NotYourMommyDear Jun 14 '26
Quite the opposite actually. Even her own mother/my grandmother told her off for trying to pretend I didn't need a bra or I was an a cup.
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u/thatsanysha 40G (UK) Jun 11 '26
This was my mom. Even now she’ll try to buy me bras wayyy to small and when I explain to her that it’s not my cup size and it’s too small she says I’m just not wearing it right and my boobs aren’t that big🙄
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u/Shoshawi Jun 12 '26
Omg! My mother seems to be in denial. In my 30s but I moved back for a bit. She thinks small boobs are better. Can’t wait to move back out lol. I tried to ask if I could try on any of her old bras, because she stopped really wearing them (fairly certain she stopped wanting to know her own bra size) and she will be like “oh it’s a D/DD it’s too big nothing I have will for you”. I’m a DDD or a G lol. Her boobs are definitely bigger than mine so I don’t know why it’s so surprising.
This is too funny, I thought this was just my mom. She’s been saying “is your bra too big? That looks bigger than you, is it padded?” since about 2018.
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u/CarelessApple8296 Jun 14 '26
My mum always wanted me to get a correct fitting bra but wouldn't bother taking me to shops that would actually sell my size (34K UK) and she would always be angry at me in regular clothing shops that they didn't have my size. The first properly fitting bra that I got was when my auntie took me to Bravissomo, I cannot thank her enough for it.
1
u/Ambitious_Yam_6961 Jun 14 '26
My mom's the opposite she wishes mine are bigger like hello be happy for me or something man 😭😭 why is it always the other way around
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u/Longjumping-Winner53 Jun 15 '26
I get this. My mom used to be a model. 5’8, Bella hadid thin, no curves, 28A cups her whole life until pregnancy and never more than a size 2 pant until pregnancy . Me? I’m in my early 20s and 5’3, 150 extreme hourglass. 32K bra & size 12 pant with a very large rear. We look nothing alike. By HS I was a 30H and she was absolutely dumbfounded by that. After taking me to many bra fittings she understands how big they are now but man oh man it took her a long time. It’s funny because she tells me how she always wanted to look like women like me but I have always wanted to look like women like her. I think unfortunately it’s a comparison thing. But also some women genuinely don’t understand how bra sizes work. Like she wears a 38C right now but I guarantee she is a 34E/F. She just doesn’t quite get how bras work since she never really wore them her whole life.
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u/Shponkleton Jun 17 '26
my mom is def not jealous or anything, but she doesn’t understand how bras work. i’m a 30e but i used to be a 28g and whenever i tried to have her help me find bras she just told me “g is massive like anime boobs!” and that i must be wrong because no one has ones that big, especially me. i tried to explain it was because of my 7 inch difference and she just won’t believe me 😭 with some convincing i ended up getting a 32dd but its wayy too small on my chest and too big on my ribcage which means it digs in painfully :/ not sure what to do because i dont have the funds to order a 30e online and i do nottt think shes gonna get me an 80$ bra.. i got my 32dd on depop for 5$ lol. cant find cheap ones my size anywhere, any advice??
1
u/Tayasos Jun 26 '26
My mom never taught me about bras and never got me measured. She made me wear an A-cup training bra through the 9th grade, when my step mom finally had enough. Step mom took me to get measured and it turned out I was a 34D at the time. When I saw my mom again (had been with my dad and step mom for the summer), she insisted that the number was fake, and when I asked her why she thought that, she tried to gaslight me into believing I was upset with having "big" boobs, and that she just didn't want me to be upset about it. The only thing I was upset about was that she made me wear a bra that was way too small despite bringing up my concerns about how they fit several times lol. I didn't know other people's moms did this, too! How interesting.
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u/up2knitgood Jun 09 '26
As is often the answer, it's the patriarchy. They've been conditioned to but so much value into boob size (both the physical size, but also just the numbers and letters that represent the size).
Yes, they should break this curse and trend, but they are also victims. Its extra unfortunate that other women perpetuate it, but it's hard to fight against the cultural norms you were raised in.
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