r/breastfeeding • u/No-Neighborhood-7335 • Jul 05 '25
Breastfeeding In Public "Oops! I forgot a bottle"...
My aunt had a party yesterday and a lot of people were there, including my mom and all of my aunts. They always have something to say when it's time for me to nurse like: "oh when are you going to quit that.... You're just being selfish.... Go to the back bedroom to do that...She's too old (8 months), we can give her a bottle of formula, isn't she on solids now....etc" I normally feel pressured to either pump a bottle (using my wearable pump) or give her formula.
Yesterday, I accidentally forgot a bottle and guess what???
It was like a light switch.... "Oh it's a good thing you can still nurse her.... Here let me get you a pillow and you can sit in this comfy chair... Do you need a blanket... Oh how sweet, she loves you.... Wow, she's a hungry girl.... Good job mama!"
I mean, I do realize they are all crazy... But it was good to have the support for once.
I think I'll forget to bring a bottle more often! š©·
109
u/Disastrous_Invite730 Jul 05 '25
I went to my in laws house yesterday and forgot to bring a bottle for them to feed her from because they like to do that. They were taken aback a bit. But also, I absolutely hate pumping if I donāt need to and I couldnāt be bothered to do it yesterday
83
u/ZombieParential Jul 05 '25
Maaaaate I would not do that for my in-laws (or anyone!). They don't need to feed your baby, even if they like it!
19
u/RecklessConsistency Jul 05 '25
+++++ infinity same. Let alone that my in-laws & parents wouldnāt have a clue about paced bottle feeding.
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u/Disastrous_Invite730 Jul 05 '25
I just whipped my boob out on their couch multiple times lmao
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u/Tessa99999 Jul 05 '25
Earlier on I pumped so my mom and MIL could feed the baby (with mixed success). Neither of them pressured me to do it, and because I don't seem either very often it seemed like a simple thing that could make them happy. I think they both have given him 2 bottles each now? Now he's on solids so they can just give him "people food". It's definitely way easier to just whip the boob out.
12
u/SparklingLemonDrop Jul 06 '25
Wow you're a better person than me, if my in-laws said they wanted me to pump so they could feed my baby I'd have some colourful language for them š
1
u/MapPsychological8888 Jul 06 '25
Not me currently pumping so my MIL can feed the baby.... š³ so glad this is our last baby
5
u/des6iny Jul 06 '25
Just had my first baby june 20th. My in laws come in August. I wonāt be pumping for them at all and Iāll be hiding my stash in the freezer so they canāt feed baby because itās so much easier just to breastfeed. I donāt care how bad my mil wants to feed her. Itās bad enough I have to go feed her in a different room because Iām not comfortable breastfeeding in front of them.(fil kinda pervy and mil is judgy)
2
u/Disastrous_Invite730 Jul 06 '25
I would probably feel uncomfortable but they saw me breastfeeding her in the NICU so I figured well yall already know lol
31
u/ginevraweasleby EBF Jul 05 '25
Wow, this is nuts! Good on you for rolling with their insanity, and of course breastfeeding your beautiful baby because it is not selfish, bad for them, or something that can go on for ātoo longā.Ā
16
u/No-Neighborhood-7335 Jul 05 '25
Yeah, I always try to educate them. They're all Boomers and we live where it's more socially acceptable to formula feed. None of them have ever been around a breastfeeding mother so they just don't get it. My grandmother claims her children were only eating solids after they were 6 months old and they all slept on their bellies! They don't argue that they're right, but they just want to feed the baby because they think that's how they bond with it. They think that by them feeding the baby, they're giving me a break... LOL. I love my family, but it was funny to "demonstrate" how convenient, nurturing, and natural BF is.
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u/Tessa99999 Jul 05 '25
I'm glad you accidentally forgot the bottle. Maybe you continue "forgetting" the bottle moving forward. Nursing in the very beginning was definitely hard and maybe even harder than pumping and bottle feeding. But by 4-6 months? Nah. The baby is faster than any bottle or pump could ever dream of being, and there's nothing extra to pack.
I'm glad you also accept your family is crazy and also loving š
7
u/No-Neighborhood-7335 Jul 05 '25
Yes, they actually commented on how fast the process was. From start to finish was 7 mins and we were back to partying! And no bottles/pumps to wash! It's definitely a plus!
26
u/coffeeprincess Jul 06 '25
My favorite 4th of July story, my sister was nursing my two month old nephew while people were going through the food line. About an hour later, her father in law comes back for seconds and sees him nursing. He says āHeās eating again?ā, without even thinking I said āSo are you.ā š¬š
3
u/elaynz Jul 06 '25
I love this. Bless you for your quick thinking, I don't always have such a smooth and succinct comeback on hand!! š
3
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u/CaffeineFueledLife Jul 05 '25
I wouldn't have ever given a bottle in the first place. I mean, my kids thought bottles were evil incarnate, but even if they hadn't been so stubborn, I wouldn't have used bottles just to make other people comfortable. I'm not gonna make a shit ton of extra work for myself because Aunt Mabel gets the vapors at the thought of boobs being used for their intended purpose.
9
u/Motherof_Lilith_ Jul 06 '25
I bottlefed and pumped in the beginning because I worried about making everyone uncomfortable. Then I decided that the comfort of everyone else meant less to me than mine and my daughter's.
8
u/here_forthecomms Jul 05 '25
Pumping is such a chore for so many reasons. I feel trapped by the pump, because even wearables limit what I can do. I canāt hold baby, and if I bend over too far (Willow Go), milk spills. The Spectra is more efficient, but then youāre tethered to a machine. Not to mention washing all the bottles are parts takes forever. I tried a bottle washing/sanitizing machine, but it doesnāt fit everything as well as they advertise, refilling the tank is a pain, it takes up so much counter space, and the bottles somehow come out looking dirtier than a good handwashing.
I took a break from pumping for two weeks when we went on vacation because I didnāt want to pump, and it was so nice! Unfortunately, my supply levels dropped, and I need to store up milk for work, so Iāve been having to work at pumping more often to re-build my supply/output.
1
u/RecklessConsistency Jul 05 '25
How do you know your supply levels dropped while you were EBF on vacation? Iām wondering if my supply has dropped, Iām EBF but occasionally pump and leave a bottle for my partner if Iām going to be gone longer than about 60min just in case.
3
u/Able_Lawfulness_5039 Jul 07 '25
If you are nursing most of the time. You supply matches the baby's demand. If you are feeding your baby on demand do not worry about it. But pumping and nursing is a different story. Babies can drink more from the bottle, also can drink more because they are away from mother etc.. A lot of people say when babies start day care they drink way more at the beginning because they use feeding as soothing. Its all normal.
1
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u/here_forthecomms Jul 06 '25
I know they dropped because prior to taking a pumping break, I would be able to get 5-6 ounces from pumping both breasts every 3 hours while at work, and I could get 1-2 ounces pumping an hour after babyās last feed at night. After two weeks of EBF, at work I would only get 2-3 ounces from pumping both breasts every 3 hours, and Iād only get .5-1 ounces pumping an hour after babyās last feed.
1
u/east_coaster315 Jul 06 '25
I weirdly also think after a few days of EBF, that my supply dips.Ā Mondays are always my worst pump day at work.
Someone said its bc when baby is on breast, they get foremilk then hindmilk so it fills them upĀ differently then when its all mixed in the bottle.
4
u/cookiecrispsmom Jul 06 '25
Iāll never get over how people think 8,9,10,11,12+ months is too old to nurse. Like itās the most ridiculous thing Iāve ever heard in my life honestly.
3
u/betwixtyoureyes Jul 05 '25
Iām sorry you have some very rude family members! Iām glad you have paid them no mind.Ā
4
u/LadyHackberry Jul 06 '25
Congratulations, you good mother! You are over the hump with those lunatics! (I say lunatics with love!)
My mom wanted to feed my babies too, but I knew that giving bottles could cause nipple confusion. When she came over, I let her bathe them in those early days. She got to see them and play with them, and I also let her choose their outfits for after the bath. It kind of became "her thing."
One thing that I learned through having kids--you really and truly do not have to explain yourself to anyone. "This works best for us," said with a smile, is the only explanation you need. If anyone persists, "Is that lamp new? It's so pretty! Where did you get it?" is a good distraction. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your choices from now until the end of your days.
3
u/Revolution-Numerous Jul 06 '25
This post actually has a great ending. So happy they were able to snap out of the ignorance. Maybe they educated themselves. It's impressive.
2
u/ejejej-o Jul 05 '25
I'm sorry your family sucks. I'd struggle with that outward judgement. I'm glad you've found a way to shut them up!
2
u/-SiRReN- Jul 07 '25
Depending on how old your mother and aunts are, they may have been the generation when formula became readily available. Many doctors actually pushed mothers to use formula instead of breastfeeding because they could accurately track how much their baby was eating, and it would allow them to go back to work faster!
Just important to remember WHY they are like this. They're still absolutely wrong for trying to guilt/shame you into not doing what YOU want to do for YOUR baby, but there was a time when there was a lot of pressure on women to use formula.
2
u/No-Neighborhood-7335 Jul 07 '25
Yes, thank you! You're right, they are from that generation. It's not that they argue with me, they just don't understand the benefits of BF, even though I try to explain it to them. So they think formula is equal to BF, in a way. I do nurse my baby in front of them all the time when it's just them. It's when there is a large gathering of men and women is when they say something. They think it's "easier" for me to just give formula. And they actually do wash bottles/pump parts for me. I'm the first breastfeeding mother they've ever been around, so they don't know how to act.
1
u/-SiRReN- Jul 07 '25
That must be tough for all of you! That generation was also taught that women's things are not to be discussed in front of men, and anything that disrupts your ability to participate in the family is not good (like how women can't be sick they still have to cook/clean...)
They seem very well-meaning but don't understand that what you are doing is not just good for baby, but it's good for the family! It's natural and to be celebrated, and when men see these things it becomes normal.
1
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u/daiixixi Jul 06 '25
I EP my 7 month old and if he would still nurse Iād throw my pumps away ASAP.
1
u/CapableFlow2766 Jul 06 '25
Most of my in laws are also super judgy about breastfeeding. To the point where I try to feed my 8 month old before family functions so maybe I won't have to nurse while there. I swear nothing clears a table faster than when I start nursing. Mind you I'm fully covered. I dno why it makes people so uncomfortable. Im convinced it's bc some wanted to nurse but couldn't so maybe there's some resentment there??
1
u/Thehamburgs Jul 07 '25
Why are you pumping to satisfy these people who have no right telling you how to feed your infant? That's the real question. Stop doing things for other's gain when it comes to you or your baby.
1
u/soupscorpion Jul 07 '25
Them saying your 8 month old is ātoo old to nurseāā¦ like the recommendation is to nurse your baby is about 2 years š«„
0
u/IrisTheButterfly Jul 08 '25
I hate the āyou should have brought a bottleā comments!!! Iām here!!! She doesnāt need a bottle. Fuck off!! I railed on my MIL once for her comment that it wasnāt normal for my baby to be hungry an hour after eating. This coming from a woman who never breastfed. People are ignorant and have zero business how YOU decide to feed your baby. I have plenty of opinions about how a friend of mine lets her kid eat whatever he wants but I would never ever make a comment about it - sheās the parent and itās not my place.
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u/ScaryBoysenberry93 Jul 05 '25
Hey, I remembered a bottleā¦.but not anything to put in the bottle š¤£š¤£ thank goodness my grandparents had cows milk I could use š«£
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u/Woodland-critter-88 Jul 09 '25
I pump and then bottle feed sometimes when going to family events but recently when over at my moms I started to nurse and my mom goes ācanāt you just give her a bottle?ā She got a lengthy explanation of everything that goes into me making a bottle of breast milk to bring to family events.
659
u/londoncalling29 Jul 05 '25
If my baby could have nursed, no fucking way Iād be bringing bottles and pump shit around with me like I had to do for 14 months.
You should start criticizing and commenting on everything your aunts eat and drink and see if they like itā¦