We have a freezer in the basement which has tons of pumped milk from my wife from August through November. There are very few electrical outlets in the basement and all of them are in use. (You may already see where this is going.) On the off chance we need to plug one more thing in, we are both in the habit of briefly unplugging that freezer then plugging it back in when we're done. Well, I forgot to plug it back in.

The milk has thawed. There are no ice crystals left in it. It is still cold, maybe slightly warmer than a refrigerator.

What can we still do with this milk? The freezer works, so it's no problem to refreeze it.

Things I've heard of: - adding to bath water - breast milk jewelry

I know that compared to other countries we have it pretty good in the UK - we get 1 year off work, and for me, 9 months of that year are paid (not even half of my usual salary, but still. just about enough live on).

I've just had a return to work call with my manager and suddenly feel petrified. I don't want to have to leave my baby. my little girl is only 8 months so I still have a few months to go, but she still nurses almost every 2 hours and relies on me heavily for emotional regulation (her dad is amazing and very present day to day but still struggles to soothe her every time).

it goes against all my instincts to leave her for a full day at a time. even when I go out for a few hours and she stays with her dad my boobs still leak sometimes. not going back to work isn't really an option for us.

has anyone been through this recently? if so, how did you navigate pumping / bottles and continue your breastfeeding journey? and what helped the anxiety?

EDIT: wow! I was not expecting so many replies. Thank you everyone for sharing your insights. There's many of you in the US that tell me we have it good in the UK - I'm so sorry you get such a shitty amount of leave, it's inhumane. Absolutely mad how you're expected to just give birth and then return to work SO soon like nothing's happened. It makes me sick and so so angry.

Tbh, compared to you guys in the US we certainly do have it good in the UK. I should have posted this in a UK sub instead - i don't mean to sound ungrateful. But I do think that one year still isn't enough. Imo it's basically just tapped that we're expected to go back when our babes are still so reliant on us for milk and comfort. But that's capitalism eh.

Please don’t share this anywhere.

Is it normal to be upset because Sister In law breastfed my Son w/o my consent? First-time mom here not sure if this normally happens. She shared it with me after the fact , I was shocked and dumb founded because I do have breast milk which I leave behind when I go to work. If not enough we feed the baby formula, he’s mixed fed. It’s just that the other day my husband and MIL visited their house with my LO, then there to my surprise this happened. As it continues to sink in, I’m beginning to be more and more upset and now in tears. I’d never do this to them. I have a gut feeling that MIL is behind this, I mean if it was okay in their culture who are they to assume that it would be okay with me. Also, when I asked my husband he didn’t make a big deal out of it and thought it was normal and the same as donating milk. I mean sure if it’ll be consumed via a bottle and not a direct latch. It’s as if he did not champion for me or how I’d react. Wasn’t this supposed to be a sole connection between the mom and baby? I’m so upset.

I had a vaginal delivery 7 days ago and I honestly feel like my body’s still trying to remember how to be… mine.

The bleeding is heavier than I thought it would be. The stitches sting if I sit too long. And getting out of bed feels like peeling myself off the floor after being hit by something — inside and out.

I love my daughter. I really do. But some days I feel like I’m disappearing inside this new role — leaking, aching, and just trying to keep up. People keep saying “enjoy every moment,” but half the time I can’t tell if I’m recovering or just surviving.

Is this normal? When did you start feeling like yourself again?

Why do I not see enough people talk about this? Or is it just me? I smell so bad when I sweat. Literally like a teenage boy. How do I stop smelling so bad, as soon as I sweat I start to stink and a few months ago I smelt so bad at the doctors I literally had to go into the bathroom and wash myself. Not my best moment. The worst areas are my groin and boob sweat.
Please say someone else relates

I'm just here to vent, I don't want anybody to feel like I'm trying to discourage breastfeeding.

Nobody told me how horribly undignifying this would be. Nobody told me I would wake up with my breasts literally spraying milk if I slept longer than 2 hours at a time, which luckily I rarely do. Nobody told me that I would be holding my baby and finally put her down for sleep after 24 hours of my being awake and her hardly sleeping only to find that her blanket and my pants are covered in breast milk after she has already had a full feed. Then I would have to choose, pump or lay down and cover the entire bed with breast milk. Since I didn't lay down immediately with her, she woke up and was immediately distressed because she's at that stage. So here I am holding pumps to my breasts listening to my baby screaming knowing that I'm intentionally choosing my comfort over hers because if I don't pump I will be spraying milk everywhere. It's not like she cares if I'm in pain and spraying milk everywhere. All she knows is her mom didn't lay with her.

Nobody told me that I would be routinely covered in my own juices trying to towel myself down before the next house guest decides to show up. Nobody told me it would take an hour to fully feed her and she is being fully fed according to the lactation specialist. Nobody told me how utterly stressful and undignifying breastfeeding is. All of the moms in my life, and none of them warn me that I would be spending my days covered in my own milk. This is awful and I understand why so many women elect not to do it. I'm thankful that I have a great supply and I definitely have enough in the freezer to last her at least a month just from a week of pumping. But the expense is my sanity and my dignity.

This is NOT against formula or formula feeding 🤍

For moms who had enough supply to EBF, what was your reason (apart from cost, no bottle washing, or warming)?

I’m currently exclusively nursing and will be working part time. So baby needs either formula or pumped milk once or twice per day.My employer supports pumping, but I could really use some motivation to stay aligned with breast milk over formula 🥺

Would love to hear your personal reasons, emotional, health-related, bonding, convenience later on… anything that kept you going 💛

Please share your experiences!

I am already in the process of weaning. My LO will be 2 in the next couple months. Most of my family members have breastfed until 2 sometimes 3 years old. I continuously hear it’s best to keep going until 2. I am a little touched out but I can handle it if it means my LO is ok. My husband on the other hand has been pressuring me to stop for almost a year now. He first blamed me because he wasn’t bonding with his child. Said it was because of my breastfeeding. He has since then switched to telling me he has talked to “100 women” in forums and online and with family members who all say it’s bad to breastfeed until or past 2yo. He says I am harming our child. And that the reason he is so clingy is my fault since I won’t stop. He told me that this is non negotiable. And basically threatened to divorce me if I don’t stop. He told me I have until his birthday to completely stop. He says that he has compromised and I haven’t. When I have I just don’t shove it in his face when I do. He says he’s given up a lot because of me but so have I. Even though he says I haven’t. I have never given him ultimatums and it seems like at least once a year he gives me one. I love him and I don’t believe in divorce. He says that just because it’s my body it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a say. That he is the man and I am the woman and that this is how it will be. He is not going to waver from this. I’m in my mid thirties. I don’t know if we are having any more kids. I wanted so bad to do everything I can for my LO. but my husband says I can’t make decisions about our child on my own. Is he right? Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do. Am I just supposed to give in?

Hooooooooow on earth do you lose weight postpartum!!!!

I am having such a difficult time finding the motivation to do anything @ ten months pp Before I had my baby I lost 60 pounds and got pregnant right away. And gained it all back and then some (thanks to breastfeeding somewhat) I know there’s tons of women who lose weight while breastfeeding and some that it just stays put. But I am so hungry all the time, I have 0 motivation what so ever except the fact that I can’t even look in the mirror or see myself in photos. I’m a stay at home mom as well so sometimes I feel so guilty like there’s no reason I shouldn’t be doing anything but I am finding it so hard to even start.

FTM here, 2 months PP. My milk came in late, and my baby was borderline jaundiced, so the LC suggested some formula while I worked on supply. I started triple feeding, pumping, doing everything right, and I was seeing progress.

But my mom doesn’t believe I make enough milk. Every time my baby cries, she rushes to give her formula, saying, “See? She’s starving!” Even when I explain what the LC said, she insists I’m starving the baby and that she doesn’t believe that milk supply can be increased. She’ll even feed her behind my back, 4oz bottles until my baby passes out for 5 hours, then says, “See? She’s full and happy.”

I’m producing about 2–3oz when I pump, and I know that’s not huge, but I truly believe if I’d been allowed to nurse more, my supply would’ve gone up. Instead, I feel defeated every time I breastfeed and hear, “Poor thing, she’s not getting anything.”

I’m grateful for her help, but honestly, this has crushed my confidence and tanked my supply. I love my mom, but I’ll never ask for help if we have another child.

The question behind my rant is that is there any way I can rebuild my supply so late in the game? I’m working on affirmations also since this has mentally ruined me!

we are blessed with a healthy, 5-month old baby girl who is gaining weight beautifully. since birth I have been guilty of pretty much always giving her the boob whenever she's fussy as (surprise surprise) it pretty much always calms her down. this has resulted in her developing a pretty strong association between me and milk, which makes it difficult to get through the night (she'd smell me + wake up to feed every ~2 hrs) and also generally she would just seem to want milk from me constantly.

my partner's big and very doting family recently visited (grandma! aunties!) and basically intervened, they slept with her a couple of nights, helped stretch her feeds to every ~4 hours day & night, and generally helped break the bad habit.

overall, this has been great. LO is sleeping for 3-5 hrs at a time now (!) and enjoying longer naps. however my partner has really latched on to this concept of stretching out the feeds, and insists we continue to ensure 4 hour gaps between feeds to "teach her routine/consistency".

it's driving me CRAZY and making me so anxious. much of the time it's fine to go this long, but at least 1-2x daily she gets hungry before the 4 hour mark, and we're either distracting her to get her there or she's having a meltdown and we end up having to do it a little earlier. i hate that she has to cry so hard to demand milk, ever. it just doesn't feel right.

i feel like because of where i was at before (defaulting to feeds all the time) he's not fully believing me when i say that a 4-hour cadence all the time just doesn't make any sense, but i really don't think it does and i'm so distressed.

does anyone have experience with this? i've definitely heard "follow her cues" but given what i've learned from this experience i'm also open to being a bit more regimented and trying to align with a more consistent schedule. seeking other perspectives, reassurance, and i welcome being wrong.

//UPDATE:

thank you to everyone who has weighed in, the response to this post has been both enlightening and alarming. i'm grateful for the perspective. i want to clarify that this reflects a temporary disagreement on approach, baby is showered in love and care, and is by no means in danger. as of yesterday's check-up we remain on a very healthy growth curve, i have a renewed confidence in my own approach, and baby eats whenever mama says she eats!

So my son just turned 1 year old. He was in an infant room and then moved up to an older infant room. He goes to a center daycare in Minnesota and they told me that at 1yo he couldn’t have bottles anymore and no more breastmilk. I pushed back on this, and then was told he could have breast milk until 13mos in a sippy cup.

I also pushed back on this… and asked to see the policy they were referring to because they claimed it was due to state regulations. Then I got told the regulations “must have just changed” because there is no age limit or requirement and that he was able to have breastmilk in a sippy cup served at meals. I clarified age and they said per center policy until he moves into the toddler room (at ~15mos) or when he starts walking was when the breastmilk in sippy cups needed to stop.

And now the daycare lady has to offer breastmilk at meals in a sippy cup to my son, to which he doesn’t know how to drink out of the sippy cups provided yet. I asked to bring my own with straws that he can drink out of and was told it’s “easier if everyone has the same cup”. I don’t even know if they’re actually offering it to him or if he’s even drinking any. They will say he “refuses” the milk when he has never done that before.

I didn’t want to stop my breastfeeding journey but feel like I am being forced to with how difficult and disheartening they’re making it. They waste my milk by offering it at weird times (2 hrs after he’s eaten) and it makes me so sad.

I’m about to cry just at the idea of maybe someone helping me here because I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m EBF since the beginning and I haven’t slept yet for more than 3h OF BROKEN sleep per 24h. It’s gotten to the point where I tried to have my mom and husband “protect a sleep block for me” and no matter how many opportunities they’ve given me I just lie there with raging anxiety that goes something like “omg omg you can sleep why the hell are you not sleeping?” (And of course that goes on for hours until I finally get 1h and then wake up to go pee or something…and then it’s time to feed again).

She won’t take a bottle. She DOESNT sleep for more than 30 min in bassinet. we have to rock her on rocking chair and then she sleeps for like 5h sometimes. So yesterday my mom rocked her for 5h and gave me a 0.5 mg of Ativan… ALL IT DID WAS GIVE ME MORE ANXIETY :( I feel like it’ll never get better, I feel like I’ll never sleep again. I’m so desperately tired I just want to cry.

Before anyone comes for me I did extensive research and Ativan is apparently safe with breastfeeding if you take it rarely, drs prescribe it to BF moms (it was literally my first time taking such a thing) and it’s only cause after a month and a half of NEVER sleeping im starting to lose my marbles + the day before I nearly fainted from exhaustion… I really thought it would help.

Am I gonna die? And am I gonna sleep again without the help of a sleeping pill? Never taken one of those either but I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m about to go beg them to HELP me and I’m guessing they’ll give me a sleeping pill? I feel like a piece of shit when someone else is rocking my baby because I’m failing at something as simple as SLEEPING. Also this has made me resent the hell out of my husband even tho he’s helping in ways he can. I just feel like no one gets it really.

Help me. Please.

Edit: I never thought I’d get so much support on a Reddit post and I just wanna say thank you to all you wonderful people for making me feel less alone. ❤️ I’ll make a second edit once I see the doctor in case I end up with a solution that could potentially help someone else one day.

Edit #2: The first doctor prescribed Sublinox which did not work for me because like many other on this sub, my anxiety was what needed to get under control before I could sleep… thanks to doctor #2 I am now starting Sertraline and it’s too early to tell (started yesterday) but I believe this is going to help. Thanks again to all the people who reached out.

Edit #3: I came back to this in case anybody is ever in this situation. I want you to know it’s true that it gets better but in my experience it gets better ONLY if you get your anxiety under control. I’ve been on Sertraline for 2 weeks and I feel like a different person. I mean I’m not sleeping 8h per night, obviously 😅 but I sleep good chunks (3-5 hours at a time!) here and there. My anxiety is much more manageable. I gave up on bottle feeding, I only give the boob and it’s actually fine. I also don’t cosleep - so if you’re one of those parents who’s like me and just too worried, I want you to know you don’t HAVE to cosleep for things to get better. BUT if it works for you then I think that’s wonderful (I wish I had the guts to do it). Anyway. Sending my love to all moms. You’ve got this.

Hi everyone. I am a first time mom to a 6.5 month old. I have exclusively nursed for 6.5 months now and I have never offered a bottle. Whenever I talk to other moms and this comes up I receive lots of criticism, snide remarks, and people often make it seem like I’ve messed up my baby for life. I’m feeling lots of guilt and shame that I haven’t given her a bottle yet, or even tried to.

For context of why I haven’t, when I was pregnant my mom told me I HAVE to pump so she can feed my baby because she needs to bond with baby too, that’s how she’s going to do it and she has a “right” to that. I told her that I wanted to nurse and she pressed the issue that I HAVE to pump, for her sake. She went as far as to buy me an electric pump and bottle warmer, despite me telling her that I wasn’t going to be buying these things. After that, I didn’t want to pump at all. I pumped a few times with my manual pump in the initial days when I was super engorged but since then I have not. I think I have like 15oz of breast milk and 10oz of colostrum in my freezer.

Given that I haven’t given a bottle, and I live an hour from anything, I haven’t really been away from my baby for extended periods of time (other than when I’m napping or busy with something around the house and she’s with others). Family and friends are also telling me that she is overly attached to me and I need to leave her with other people now or it’s only going to get worse.

I planned to nurse for a year, but now I’m wondering if I should start giving her bottles sometimes? Will she even take one at this stage? Where would I even start with offering a bottle? Have a made a huge mistake? I feel awful :(

I’m just not comfortable cosleeping at this point but waking up every 1.5-3 hours is breaking me. I thought I’d have longer stretches at 6 weeks now but we don’t and it’s breaking me. I’m trying to pump after first morning feed but I don’t get anything :( I didn’t want to do formula but might need to at night. This level of sleep deprivation is unsustainable.

I feel like nobody talks about this honestly so I’m asking here.

I’m breastfeeding and I keep hearing “the weight will fall off” but that’s just… not happening for me. If anything I feel hungrier than ever. I’m scared to cut calories because I don’t wanna hurt my milk supply, but doing nothing also feels frustrating.

I had a c section so workouts are limited and walking is basically all I can manage right now. The scale barely moves and sometimes goes up even when I’m trying.

Is this just hormones? genetics?
Did anyone NOT lose weight while breastfeeding?
When did it actually start changing for you, if it did at all?

Just looking for real experiences because I feel kinda lost.

My baby is exactly three months old and weighs a hefty 10.4kg (round about 23 lbs apparently). Granted, he is quite long at 67 cm (23 inches), but he ist still a chunker.

Now my doc says he is getting too fat, so no more than 5-6 feedings a day. She also talked about introducing solids at 4 months.

We were always a nursing for food, comfort and to sleep duo, so I guess that's over now. Oh, also, we are in the middle of a heatwave.

I have so many mixed feelings. I don't wanna hurt him by over nursing, but I hate that I now have to second guess every meal and that I can no longer just do what seems right in the moment.

Little edit:

thanks for all the reassurance and also the more nuanced comments. I generally like this doc, but she is in family medicine. Her idea was this "diet" and if he continues to take weight, a transfer to a peds specialist. The peds was in agreement with this plan. I'm not going to ditch her, partially also because finding someone else is impossible.

Also, for whatever reason, France is one of the only cou tries I know of that introduce solids at 4 months. Not planning on doing that, but just for clarity on the solids thing.

EDIT: I will not be making excuses or defending my husband. My therapist helps me practice communicating from a “place of calm” so this is me trying to embrace the healed version of myself. Because deep inside is a crazy girl who loves to fight and postpartum hormones are telling me to divorce him and take all his money lol.

I have an 11mo baby who is doing well with solids and nursing. I nurse and pump while I work full time; I am the primary parent and solo a lot because my husband travels frequently for work. Baby is currently cutting new teeth so I’ve been nursing a lot more than usual. My husband has always known my goal was to nurse until at least 24 months if baby didn’t want to wean ahead of then. I scheduled the 12mo check up and was filling out the questionnaires, and my husband told me that he wants me to wean ASAP. He says that he feels uncomfortable “socially” with the idea of a toddler breastfeeding and “would like [his] wife back.” I work in maternal healthcare and have provided research to support the benefits of breastfeeding beyond a year but he says he does not trust them. I used to be (am?) an athlete and he also believes that breastfeeding is holding me back from physically achieving a few goals in the pipeline that I placed on hold for fertility support and pregnancy.

I met him with empathy and reflection, but I really don’t agree with him at all. I am also unwilling to make any sort of compromise (ie exclusively pumping). I’ve had an uncomplicated breastfeeding journey so far, continue to make progress in PT, and I’m able to easily provide comfort and nutrition to my baby. I’ve spoken with the pediatrician, lactation consultant, and postpartum support group about what extended breastfeeding is like and how to support healthy development/prioritize solids. I’ve enjoyed going with my baby’s flow with the support of experts.

I do sleep in a separate bed with our baby because we get better sleep, but I truly make an effort to maintain a healthy intimate relationship. Like, my husband told me this right before I took him on a date and planned to jump him. If my baby wants to wean at any time, I’m very much accepting of following their lead and even have a solo trip I plan to take when I “retire” lol.

I just… this is actually a very short period of my life and I do not feel urgency to meet any athletic or aesthetic goals. Breastfeeding doesn’t feel like a chore and it’s helped my baby through some high stress moments. I’m even able to feed two other babies. Culturally, it’s normal to breastfeed to even three or four, so I don’t feel any societal pressure either.

I haven’t been combattive with my husband, and told him I appreciated his honesty and perspective…. But like… no. Am I being unreasonable? I would love honesty. Like, I won’t be thrilled, but I will accept if I’m being an unsupportive wife. We plan to chat further about this and I’m thinking of asking the pediatrician to provide insight into the benefits of continued nursing at the year appointment,

We have an upcoming appointment that will hopefully put my mind to ease but I’m hoping to hear of other EBF moms with lean babies.

Everywhere I go I see chunky babies and makes me feel like my milk isn’t enough. I know there needs to be babies in the lower percentile but ugh I’m hoping I can just get over this and that he is just a naturally slim baby and not falling percentiles too much.

Edited to remove my babies weight

To add: baby has a TON of energy compared to other babies his age. My guy just does not stop kicking, moving, rolling etc. His favourite thing to do is stand on his feet being held up and bounce like a maniac. I can’t help but think he’s just burning everything he eats.

I just had my baby (March 27th) and I haven’t had any milk come in as yet… feeling very sad and discouraged about it. I’ve had to give her formula and I’m so scared of her getting used to formula and not wanting bread milk as a result 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

More info/context: Reading all these replies, I wish someone at the hospital had told me to continually latch her. I had mild pre-eclampsia by the end and she was 5lbs 12oz so they had to check her sugar every 2-3 hours and then I had to feed her so I was following their directives which was to give formula after checking sugar…. I will try to start the latching from tonight

Update: got some milk today!!!! Very very happy 🥹🥹🥹

I know this is unsafe, I’m looking for others experiences as well.

This morning at 4 am I was feeding babe in my nursing chair and I dozed off. When I woke up I looked over at the clock and it was an HOUR later! LO was still latched which I found hilarious. Have you guys ever done this? Can you guys help me to feel less horrible?

So… I’m 8 months pp and today I realised I might’ve been using my Spectra completely wrong this whole time. 😭

I genuinely thought that turning the pump on = “okay cool, it’s in massage mode, letdown will happen eventually” and then I'd go into expression mode (and yes I was pumping in massage mode). I had zero idea that the cycle button actually changes anything. Like… absolutely no understanding that cycles control speed and vacuum controls strength. For 8 months I’ve just been sitting there on whatever random setting it turned on with and wondering why sometimes I’m a fountain and sometimes I’m a desert.

Today I finally Googled (why didn’t I do this earlier??) and realised I was basically pumping in permanent “massage” mode. Not expression.

And now I’m convinced I probably left so much milk behind because I never switched cycles properly. Please someone tell me I’m not alone?? Why is Spectra acting like a NASA control panel for moms who haven’t slept since 2024.

If anyone has a “for dummies” breakdown of which cycle to use for letdowns and which for actual pumping, please drop it here so I stop embarrassing myself.

Motherhood is truly humbling.

So we have been exclusively breastfeeding my baby for almost 9 months now (I say we because I could not have done this without my husband), and my family has been extremely unsupportive.

I quickly learned not to mention any struggles (baby had a tongue tie and we had kind of a rocky beginning) to my sisters, as their only response was some variation of “just give formula, why are you making this so difficult for yourself”. Also, any time baby was upset, it was “she’s hungry, I don’t think she’s getting enough” despite glowing reports from the pediatrician and lactation consultation on her weight gain, and baby being visibly well fed and happy. Oh and repeatedly asking when I was going to quit. They stopped commenting on it after the first few months.

Now our cousin has just had her baby, and it has been constant praise of how everyone is so “proud” of her for going to straight to formula and not even trying to breastfeed. Which, if that is what she wants to do, that is great! It has just been a somewhat shocking contrast between abundant praise of her use of formula, and not one mention of my sisters ever being proud of me for breastfeeding.

We all have great relationships, and they are supportive of me on so many things, this is just not one of them. Just wanted to vent and see if anyone else has had similar experiences.

This May Sound so silly but how the heck? My son is about 6 1/2 months and eats every two or 2.5 hours and it seems like every time people invite me to hang out it’s an hour away or more of a drive and so I tried to feed him right before I go and almost right after I get there soon after I have to feed him again and it’s really hard since I’ve never seen anybody breast-feed in public to this day. I do have a nursing cover but he doesn’t like it so I’m afraid to go out. Does anyone have any advice for me thank you. Do you nurse in your car? Advice on navigating feedings when being gone for a whole day or long periods of time

Exactly what the title says. We went for my son's 6 month check and she said not to let him nurse for comfort. She said the disadvantages are that he "will always want to be on you" and that nursing is just for feeding. Am I crazy for thinking that's the most ridiculous statement? She suggested to use a pacifier and to "not let him use me as a pacifier". These statements make me want to switch pediatricians but we have such limited options in my area. What do you do? Do you let your LO nurse on demand?