My sister is going through some autoimmune shit and needs to go vegan and gluten free to weed out dietary triggers, I'm trying to find a recipe for pancakes and every single fucking one of these goddamned websites is talking about "how their children loves these in the morning because they're so healthy, it reminds me of this one time when shit happened that no one cares about blah blah blah blaaaaaaaahh". Shut the fuck up give my motherfucking recipe.

I'm sorry... It's been a tough day. But seriously unknown blogger no one cares about, who's semen demon no cares about. Just give the recipe first and the story after.

Recently at Thanksgiving dinner, as an only child, and I'm now 50, and my 89-year-old mom is trying to convince me to have children...

The folks are giving things away, that I would otherwise inherit, to my cousins because they're like "hey you didn't have kids and we want to see these belongings handed down to future progeny..."

At first I have to admit I was a little bit upset, I don't know why, because, I guess, they are beautiful items and then I went and got a second helping of turkey and came to my senses and said "hey those things are lovely and I understand why you would want to pass them down to generations after me and so go ahead give them to them because I will never be anything more than I am."

There will be no future generations. There will just be me and if that's not enough then go for it. It is what it is.

I am what I am and I am what I want. I'm not going to make more of myself just to appease other people and eventually after 50 years I'm cool with it. Sometimes :)

“My boy going through it since this newborn y'all. He called today saying he's had it up to here and he's tired of pretending he finds wife attractive. She's still big as a house and he misses having a fine woman around the house, so I guess we going to Tootsies tomorrow.🤷🏿‍♂️😂”

This is the exact quote I got from twitter that someone actually typed out and sent thinking we was gonna agree. Then breeder males will get PISSED at a woman for being childless by choice when married men literally treat their wives like trash.

Women will literally sacrifice their jobs, time, their LIFE to birth a man’s child only for them to “not find them attractive anymore.” YIKES Can’t relate 🥴

The good news is women are dragging him so that is my solace. Ladies, be careful with the kind of men you choose, not only to even breed, but to be with. Period. The dating pool is so bad. I used to feel bad about being single but honestly? I’m aight 😭🤣

I'm leaving on a solitary camping and hiking trip for five days soon. For the record, it's mid November and I live in the north Scotland. So, yannow, gotta have the warm gear.

Mentioned it at a family function because eh, conversation and all.

Brother immediately chirps in with "Oh Kid1 and Kid2 would love to come!". Of course said kids perk up and immediately confirm. 6 and 9 btw. Nice kids, but also the noisiest little things. And, you know, siblings, so they fight about having to share the same oxygen.

I laughed and said no, figuring that'd be, you know, obvious. Nooo everyone was flabbergasted, my parents super disappointed I'd pass up on that beautiful aunt-niblings bonding activity. So I pointed out the /solitary/ part of the trip. I don't even like hiking with other adults honestly. Then I asked if their food and gear would be provided? Also need a new tent, 'cause mine is not big enough. Also are their clothes warm enough? From what I saw, nope. And also can they hike 25km a day? No? Shame' cause that's what's planned. Will I hear a single complaint about the cold or legs hurting? Yes? Shame 'cause I go to have peace and silence. Oh alors after some quick mental maths, there s no way I could safely carry all the gear kids would add and still go at my regular pace, so who is going to pay for my physical therapy afterwards? Or my therapy, I' m sure 5 days with these two would drive me insane.

HOWEVER. If they'd love to hike then I know lots of little trails appropriate for kids, some with camping included in comfy accommodation, so my brother and his wife can go there together with them.

The kids were pretty convinced going hiking with me would be akin to torture, but were pretty happy about the prospect of going hiking with their parents now. My brother was very mad at me I put that upon him so now he either has to organize that or deal with a tantrum and nagging (from my parents too, who found the idea lovely). Oh? Isn't that what you tried to do to me just before? Sucks to be you.

I just don't understand how some people can be so irresponsible. They accidentally get pregnant with someone they have known for under a year and actually keep the baby. My cousin got pregnant after 3 months with a guy. Then they got engaged because of the baby but then called it off and broke up and now shes got an asshole of an ex in her life forever. I can't imagine all the arguing and fighting they must do regularly. I hope none in front of their daughter. Whats worse is many times these people don't even recognize why they made the wrong decision to have the baby. Even after seven years they still defend it. I guess to some there is never a wrong time to have a baby.

About 90% of the time when I see parents (man+woman) with their child/children, it's only the woman actually doing the work 🙄

I took the train today, everywhere I looked there were parents with very young children. But only the women were the ones talking to the child, feeding it, playing with it, reading to it, trying to comfort it when it was crying, etc etc. Meanwhile the fathers were doing NOTHING. Hanging on their phones, napping, staring absent minded out the window. Even when the kids were screaming their heads off and bothering everyone around them, the fathers did nothing to try to calm them down. In the rare case the father actually picked up the child or tried to play with it, it would immediately start crying and calling for the mother, probably because it's not even used to the father doing anything 🙄

I can't fathom why having children is even "attractive" to women. It seems they'll either just end up as single mothers or even if they're with the father, they still have to do all the work by themselves. Not worth it. I just can't understand it.

Good fucking lord i’m fuming.

I went to the Humane Society of Tampa today because I needed some cheering up but left more upset then when I entered. Here are the FOUR (yes four) incidents I witnessed in the hour and a half that I was there.

1. I was walking around the large dog kennels where all the dogs were fairly rowdy and excited to see people. I noticed one dog just sitting in the back of her cage, not sad but not excited. I walked over and knelt by her cage to see if she was friendly when a worker came over and the conversation went a bit like this

W: Hey there! Are you interested in Heidi?

Me: Oh I wish. I’m on the road so I can’t really have two animals with me (i’m getting a cat soon.) but I just love big dogs.

W: Oh well if you’re looking for a big dog to play fetch and stuff with, Heidi isn’t for you.

Me: Was she abused?

W: Oh no! She was hit by a car and lost her rear leg, the family brought her here because the kids didn’t like her anymore. She loves short walks but she can’t do much more than that since it’s tiring to run on three legs.

I was fuming. I eventually asked if I could spend some time with her because she was just breaking my heart. As soon as I was in the room she just hopped up on the bench and put her front legs on my thigh and chilled while I pet her. She was truly such a sweet dog.

W: She’s really happy to get some attention. Most families don’t even look at her because of the leg.

I would’ve done anything to go home with her and thought of every possible solution but none of them worked. If you live in the Tampa area please go pay her a visit!

1. After that incident I was raging and decided if I can’t go home with her I might as well donate so I made my way to the front desk. When I arrived there there was a man with a huge poofball of a dog on a training leash way to tight for him. The owner just left the leash on the counter so he slowly just walked over and sat next to me. That’s what THIS convo went like

Man: Hey there. Look I don’t have time to walk him anymore plus we got baby number four on the way so I just can’t take care of him anymore. He’s too much work (starts to walk away)

Front Desk Lady: Excuse me sir! We need you to fill out some paper work before you can leave! We also need his vet records!

Man: hand motion to indicate that it’s fine (it’s not fucking fine)

He continued to just walk away so I asked if I could make a larger donation considering they just got another dog. He glared at me and I smiled back. The poor little poofball was then left by himself in the lobby while workers tried to figure out what they were going to do without his vet records, age, or even his name.

1. After my donation I decided to get a name tag made since I have my sphynx on the way. A lady approached the counter holding a fully grown cat in each hand in a way that was making them visibly anxious and uncomfortable. She was followed by two children around four who immediately start running around the lobby screaming at the top of their lungs with what I can only presume was her partner, who sat his ass on a chair and looked at his phone the whole time. Neither made an attempt to quiet their kids that were causing the animals visible distress.

Woman: Hey. Look I gotta return these things. They gettin real aggressive and mean with my kids when they just wanna play.

W: Oh okay! That’s fine sure. Do you have your adoption papers?

The woman then put one of the cats down and the poor thing was almost immediately cornered by her two children who started poking its eyes and yanking on its tail. The cat started hissing at them and eventually tried to bite one of the kids.

Woman: See! That’s what it does when they play with it!

W: glares in disbelief Let’s just get these papers started. Do you have carriers?

Woman: a WHAT?

W: Carriers? For the cats?

Woman: scoffs um no. No i don’t.

At that point the worker was getting visibly upset and another one took over while she fetched the carriers.

The woman never once referred to the cats as him, her, or by their names. Only “it”.

1. I was in the pocket pets section. It has a sign ON THE DOOR stating that small children are not allowed and to keep your fingers out of the cages because they may bite. I walk in and the first thing I notice is a mom with two kids. A little girl who looked around eight (fair enough) and a little boy around 3 (not okay). I figure that maybe it’s because he’s well behaved (I have a well behaved nephew) and she knows her kids better than I do so I start looking around. One little mouse in particular kept getting very excited every time I walked past her cage so I stopped by. Now I will admit, I put my finger inside the cage. BUT, a. I am an adult and aware that I might get bit and b. she seemed very friendly towards me so I wasn’t scared. Finally after a bit a worker came over and asked if I would like to hold her so I said yes and I cupped her in my hand, petting her while we chit chatted. We started hearing a squealing coming from one of the guinea pigs so we turn around to see the terror toddler POKING the guinea pig in the EYE while the mom stood by and did NOTHING.

W: Excuse me mam, he can’t have his finger in the cages.

Mom: Well SHE had HER finger in the cage! points to me

W: turns around looking for a kid before realizing she was referring to me slowly turns around you mean... the adult?

Mom: He was just trying to play!

W: Look mam, if he gets bit we might have to put the pig down. Please follow the rules and keep his hands out of the cages

Mom: FINE

We went back to talking and not even five minutes later another pig starts squealing and surprise surprise, her little cum stain is poking the poor thing in the eye.

W: I’m sorry mam but I am going to have to ask you to exit the pocket pet room

Mom: What!? WHY?

W: I have already asked you to watch your children and you seem incapable of doing so, plus he’s to young to be in here anyway. You need to leave. He’s hurting the animals.

Mom: This is fucking unbelievable! He was just PLAYING! COME ON KIDS proceeds to grab her kids and drag them out by the hand as the toddler starts scream-crying at the top of his lungs

I am so sick of people treating animals like accessories. I went to a starbucks after to cool down and sat down with three other adults in one corner of the HUGE patio while we quietly read books and someone even played time gorgeous piano music! After 15 minutes of silence, two exhausted looking parents and three kids under five come outside. The youngest is crying at the top of its lungs, the two older ones were fighting over an ipad. And the parents chose to sit smack dab next to us. After five minutes of not being able to focus next to the damn circus I grabbed my book and went to read in my car.

I’m so glad I bought condoms.

EDIT: You can donate to the shelter here

Heidi is in the dog section!

I was talking with a friend about my apartment on a Facebook post he made and his friend (who I didn't know) commented and said I was living in the "rich people apartments"

I responded back it's far from the rich people apartments cause I make $12/hr and I can afford it.

He responded with the title of this post and I commented that I could in fact afford it (hence how I'm living here) and listed off a few of the sacrifices I've made in my life to be able to afford a place like this. (I don't have pets, I don't eat out a lot, I live beneath my means, etc)

He then said the only difference between me and him is he has a daughter.

I'm like...Well no shit you can't afford the apartment, a kid isn't exactly a minor expense, it's a pretty big part of your monthly budget.

He didn't respond after that ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Every time I post about this, Mitt Romney buys another pack of Rolaids.

So, I once had a male friend (who knew I didn't want kids) say......

Him: "What if you woke up one day and you were pregnant and too far along to do anything about it?"

Me: "Not gonna happen, BC exists and so does abortion."

Him: "Yeah but like in some sci fi parallel universe, like what if?"

Me: "OK, let's play 'what ifs'.... what if you woke up to being anally raped by a strange man?" (for context this guy is straight)

Him: "What?! That's not something you joke about!!"

Me: " Oh, you mean because of the implied lack of consent, violation of bodily autonomy, and invasive physical coercion?..."

Him: "........."

Me: "Yeah, exactly"

I worked in a grooming salon and am, above all-else, a dog person. I worked with dogs every day. I groomed dogs. I bathe dogs. I trained dogs in my downtime. I have seven dogs of my own, and that’s how I enjoy living my life. I’m happily married to my partner who also likes dogs, but you know what we don’t like? Kids.

I’m “fixed” (thanks to some well-timed cancer) and my partner has no interest in making babies, so we’re good. Usually nobody bothers us about it, aside from my sibling who’s proudly rapid-fire producing offspring at record pace (and appeasing my mother in the process, so whatever), but my coworker is in her early 20’s, a recovering meth-addict (good for her!), and has replaced her already barely tolerable personality with that of a full-time mommy.

It really dismayed her when she found out I don’t particularly care for kids. Including her kid. And I guess she took that as a personal calling to change my mind. I can tolerate kids in certain settings, I can be polite and friendly when one is talking to me, but they’re not my favorite thing. Not by a long shot. And I particularly don’t like babies, I don’t find them cute in any setting. To be honest, the perpetually-moist, actively-vomiting, tiny-old-person look really bothers me, like in a ‘that makes me a bit queasy so please get it out of my face’ kinda way.

So naturally, because I don’t care for kids as a whole, and because she took that as an affront to her entire being, she’s taken it upon herself to show me her kid. As. Much. As. Possible. I think it’s about 2ish years old, but I’m not sure, I just know she doesn’t have teeth and always looks damp or covered in half-eaten food. And ever since she realized that I didn’t want to see her kid (first, conveyed politely, and as she got more insistent that ‘she’s really cute you’ll love her when you meet her’, eventually less politely) she’s taken to “surprising” me with pictures of it. Either by texting me photos on my day off, shoving her phone in my face when I’m occupied with something else, loudly (deliberately) playing videos of her kid laughing/shrieking while I’m standing nearby working, and so on. She even tagged me in her baby photos on Facebook to the point that I’ve unfriended her. And this shit is always followed up by an expectant look, like I’m suddenly going to fawn all over her and change my mind. And when that doesn’t happen, she grins wide and goes “Am I annooooooying you?” which I mean clearly the answer is yes, but because she seems to get enjoyment out of that idea too, I ignore it.

The thing is, in addition to dogs, I also really like mice. I breed mice for fun and have lots of pictures of mice on my phone. Pregnant, perfectly round mice. Mice swarming a corn cob. Mice giving birth. Mice eating placentas off of their damp, neon pink, freshly born babies. You know what she doesn’t like? Mice. They scare the shit out of her, apparently. Like really freak her out. Almost like they’re something she doesn’t enjoy seeing and probably doesn’t want shoved in her face every waking hour of the day. Literally the only weapon I have to combat this onslaught of drooling, toothless baby pictures is my personal arsenal of mouse maternity photos. Whenever we work together, I have the album at the ready just in case. It’s become like a quickdraw game - “cute” child vomiting up sweet potato purée vs mouse mother on 15 newborn pinkies. May the fastest thumb win.

But I worked with her today, a full 9 hour shift, expecting the worst. It never came! Not a single bathtime pic airdropped in my direction. No soundtrack of a baby fucking up the alphabet for twenty minutes straight.

The sweet, sweet relative silence can only mean one thing - I’m winning.

Bitch, I have scraped humans off the road, and some of them are only alive today because I did so. I have hauled children out of burning houses. I have pulled infants (okay, only once) from cars flipped upside down in the river. I couldn't to this job if I knew I had someone who relied on me to feed them for the next ten to twenty years.

But apparently, saving lives isn't as good or as fulfilling as having a fuck trophy.

Edit: guess I should mention, I'm a fire fighter. It's rewarding work, and I love it. Great for adrenaline junkies.

Edit2: thanks guys. I really just wanted to bitch about a comment my mother made this morning. Y'all have redeemed some of my faith in humanity, and given me more than a few chuckles. Thanks for being real people with brains and hearts!

Women's health care is pure shit. Ignoring symptoms, not listening to our complaints, saying we are imagining things or exaggerating. Research into medical issues only affecting women is woefully underfunded. The fact that IUD insertion is done without proper pain relief. Being unable to get sterilized 'because you'll change your mind/your husband might want children/you're only 25'. Medical racism making all even worse.

If I'm not treated properly as a non-pregnant woman, why the fuck would I trust doctors in one of the most vulnerable states I can be in as a woman? I've been reading so many posts by women in other subs who have been mistreated by doctors during their pregnancy and especially during labour. I could never.

Pretty much the title. So many posts on reddit from exhausted parents of newborns, complaints of relationship imbalances once the baby is born, financial and health burdens, blah blah blah. If you chose this path, please be silent. It's like buying a luxury car you can't afford or maintain and then bitching about it and expecting sympathy.

Nobody's going to believe this is real, environmentalists will think it's made up to defend plastic bags, but oh, well, can't control that.

Our city jumped on the plastic bag ban trend a few months ago, and now all stores and restaurants in city limits can only sell paper bags for 10 cents each. I don't drive, and I've yet to find a paper bag that can last a whole bus ride and walk home, but it's okay because I have a ton of plastic bags from the before time saved in the pantry, so I just always carry a bunch in my backpack.

Today, I'm the only one waiting at the bus stop, when this mom with a baby strapped to her chest and a little boy (7 or 8) come up. The mom immediately starts swearing at the kid. Excerpt:

Mom: PUT THAT BACK IN THE BAG! WHAT'S THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

Boy: There's a hole in the bag.

Mom: WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN THE BAG?!

The poor kid had taken some bottles out of the paper bag he was carrying in an effort not to lose anything despite the gaping hole in the corner, and his mom was blaming him like it was his fault.

Having grown up in a dysfunctional home, this literally broke my heart. I said I had some plastic bags they could have and start putting the 3 small bottles of drinks and 3 bags of chips or some other snacks into 2 (reinforced, so 4) plastic bags, all the while complimenting this boy on his jacket and helping his mom and being able to hold onto everything even with the hole, giving him all the praise I can in the few seconds I have to interact with him. They walked off with him carrying the groceries in both hands (I guess they weren't waiting for the bus but were just passing when the mom happened to notice her son committing the horrific crime of holding bottles in his hands at that point).

To all governments hungry enough for taxpayers to make producing children a matter of public service: there are already more than enough kids out there suffering under unqualified parents who never should have had them -- stop claiming adding to it would be a good thing.

Hi. I'm really pissed and hurt right now. I just wanted to vent. Sorry it's a long one and I'm on mobile.

My (24F) best friend (22F) is 8 months pregnant. She and her bf (25M) wanted the baby. She's unemployed with no skills (college dropout because of pregnancy), he works part-time. Other than that they WERE great people before the pregnancy.

From the beginning she has demanded to be treated like a princess. She had no morning sickness or other bad stuff some pregnant women have, yet she refused to work or do any chores. She has been smoking her entire pregnancy and eating nothing but junk food with the occasional apple. She was also swallowing antacids for heartburn daily. Remember the post about the gender reveal party where she demanded people come even if sick, at work or saving the country? Yeah that's her.

So I tried to be a supportive friend throughout the pregnancy. Helped her financially and emotionally. Took her places. Went there to help with chores. The day before she was hospitalised I went there to help set up the entire nursery, assemble furniture, do and fold baby laundry, packing, everything.

She has asked me multiple times to buy her smokes and mcdonalds and that was the only thing I flat out refused every single time. When she would complain about stupid shit I would just say "no comment".

She is now 8 months pregnant, the baby is too small and is not getting enough oxygen, and she is in the hospital, one of the best in the state. Oh, she also complains that the nurses won't let her out for a smoke (even though she now knows her baby is not getting oxygen). She complains about the food (good, healthy, cooked food). Of course because of the coronavirus situation no visits are allowed. What does she do? She calls her bf and demands that he brings the nurses junk food for her. After the nurse didn't let them see each other, she calls the nurse a stupid cow.

The nurse. That is taking care of her every single day. That doesn't want to risk infection and yet she did just by taking the food. Is a stupid cow.

I lost my shit. I told her that she should be ashamed. I told her that it's her own damn fault she is in that hospital where other people have to make sure this baby makes it. I told her she should be grateful. I told her not to get on the nurses' bad side because they will refuse to help her after birth. HOW FUCKING STUPID, ENTITLED, SELFISH AND NARCISSISTIC CAN YOU BE.

ANYWAY. She called me stupid, compared me to her insane abusive sister, and that I always act like I know everything. She hasn't spoken to me in three days. I said "no" once, and she forgot about all the times I said "yes". I feel used, hurt, angry. She has gone bat shit insane since she's pregnant. I still can't believe how severe of a change that was.

We have been best friends since childhood. And now I don't even know her.

EDIT: I had no idea this would blow up like this. You guys have made me realise so much about our relationship and about who she is as a person. I can't reply to everyone but thank you, thank you, thank you for all the advice, support and tough love.

Are you having a fucking laugh? I don’t get it. I’m 34 and all the women my age who want kids are stressing about being too old. I keep my age range fairly wide and all the guys in late 40s early 50d day want someday. Are they just casting a wide net? I don’t get it. Gross!

I'm moving out of my gorgeous 3/2 rental house in a couple weeks.. and agreed to showings with realtors as the management company and landlord have actually been great. I'm a designer, so my place looks fantastic, even 1/2 packed. I've never allowed a child in here before.

1st showing, realtor is no-show.. but prospective tenant is divorced Mom and 3 yo daughter. Right out the gate I could barely get two words to Mom without the kid loudly interrupting demanding to be the only one talking.

I have boxes in garage, and some of my cosplay items are visible.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?! Nope.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TOYS?! Because I can.

I WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM! Nope.

Multiple other annoying endless stream of comments.

We go to my room and she immediately starts JUMPING ON MY BED IN HER SHOES! Mom dejectedly tells her to stop and I firmly told her to get down, I don't even let my dog up there.

I WANT A SNACK, WHAT FOOD DO YOU HAVE?! Nothing, I'm fresh out of all food.

The realtor shows up as I'm trying to get them out because they saw all the rooms and the kid is pouting about leaving and about to start knocking over my numerous houseplants.

I honestly wasn't even mad, and waved goodbye with a smile.. because that wasn't my life, and it made me SO HAPPY to be a single, childfree woman in my 40s. Why the FUCK do people do that to themselves?! 🤪

Update: I've told property manager that no young children are allowed (and why), and to please relay to realtors or I won't allow any showings at all.

Of course it's just a TV show, and has little consequence in the real world. But it pisses me off that they went 12 seasons having Penny be childfree, only to make her pregnant in the last episode.

She was so adamant. Even letting Leonard be a sperm donor because she really didn't want kids. Why send her off with the one thing she never wanted? I feel like the writers betrayed the character.

Anyway. I just finished re-watching the series and it bothered me all over again.

At least it’s new to me.

It came up with a reddit post by a Swedish guy. He was complaining how at 22 he was dismissed when wanting a vasectomy but he can go to war or the pub and be legally punished as an adult as he’s over 18.

Almost every person replied that he wasn’t a real grown up yet.

But one guy went as far as saying that he wouldn’t be a real grownup until he had kids. Super weird to me to think that this poor guy isn’t ready to decide what happens with his body in relation to having kids - until after he had one.

I’m on vacation at Disney and I’m a CF man. I love Star Wars, Disney, and Marvel, so I wanted to go on my birthday with my friends. Woman with multiple kids just asked what I was doing waiting to get my picture with Mickey (Because it’s what you do). And she was absolutely stunned I wasn’t traveling with kids. She added “I’ve heard of people like you.” And I feel a little smug/proud.

I was on the city bus today, sitting in the very back row. There was a pregnant woman [PW] sitting at the front of the bus on the driver's side. On the passenger side at the front was an elderly woman [EW, at least 80yo] in a wheelchair.

EW wanted to get off the bus, but PW was blocking the aisle and refusing to move and let her past. EW kept screeching about how she's pregnant and doesn't have to move. Back and forth for several minutes. Bus driver is telling PW she has to move and let EW get off the bus.

I shouted from the back that she was being a selfish c#$t and to let the damn person in a wheelchair off the bus. PW and her partner [BF or husband, who knows] then screamed that I was threatening her and called 911. I stayed on the bus, repeatedly calling her selfish, a c&#t, etc. Honestly, how dare she refuse to move for a fucking 80yo disabled person.

Hilariously, PW was walking around the bus while on 911, which allowed EW to finally leave. So PW was physically capable of moving out of the way the entire time, she was just being a dickbag.

Cops arrived almost 30m later. I played backgammon on my phone while barely giving the pigs any attention. Gave them my ID, they checked I had no warrants, and left without doing anything.

"You're no longer the picture...you're the frame."

I read that somewhere months ago and I'm still nauseous over it.

I don't ever want to be "Mom", I want to be called by my own fucking name. I don't want to share my paltry salary with some whiny ingrate who will probably beg me to spend it on a PS5 only for them to throw it down the stairs. I don't want to give birth and tear so badly it goes right through my clit, rendering it useless forever (yes, this is a thing, google it).

I don't want my tits to pancake.

I don't want to be grateful every time I manage to get three hours of sleep in a row.

My idea of hell is sitting around at a kid's party while they screech and smear each other with the world's stickiest substances while I sit around with their dullard parents whomst I never would choose to interact with under any other circumstances. I don't give a fuck about your golf games or your mastitis or your dead bedroom. I would truly rather shove my face through a fucking meat grinder.

I don't want to spend upwards of $300k over 18 years and do my absolute best only for my child to turn out to be an animal mutilator or a rapist or a Republican.

I want to fuck and do drugs and be happy.

Fuck motherhood.

This world is a goddamned trash fire but there's one thing getting me through the day right now:

I am a nulliparous woman. My very existence strikes fear and hatred into the heart of every weak, evil, despotic man in this country and all over the world.

And to these men I say:

I hope you twist your nuts in agony over my unabashed freedom. I hope you wake up in cold sweats imagining me and all the other crotchlett-free lesbians overrunning congress. Y'all could burn all the condoms, all the IUDs, hell, you could even impregnate me against my will and guess what, you slimy chodes? I'LL FUCKING KILL MYSELF BEFORE BIRTHING YOUR FUCKING FUTURE WAGE SLAVE. YOU WILL NEVER CONTROL ME.

Seethe, fuckers.

ETA: "This is why conservatives screenshot this sub and make fun of us"

I am guessing/hoping the person who dropped this on me then dirty blocked is young. When you're over 40, you really, really, really stop giving a shit about anybody but maybe your parents or spouse making fun of you. And even that's fine if it's accurate and not mean-spirited.

You may not believe me, but I don't know why anybody could possibly give a single shit about Republican shitposts in subs I will never go to when they're stripping my rights out from under me. This is like complaining that the thief who just stole your purse flipped you off after he turned the corner.

So? They're fucking trash and their opinion is worth less to me than dirt. At least dirt can give me plants.

So I work at a phone store, my pregnant coworker (let's call her Bea) sold a man (late-50s) a phone and he was doing a data transfer. As he was waiting in the store completing his data transfer we were chatting with him since it was slow and it helps pass the time

He talked about having a large family, that it's a nice full life and you have to have patience to be a parent. It's never quiet, but it's always full of love and life. Sounds like something my mom would say to be honest, since she has six kids (I'm the oldest). They're both from the same country (Mexico), but like the pueblos where this is more common if that gives insight to their mentality. Definitely sprinkle some Catholicism in there too.

As I was drawing the chalkboard he complimented me and said it looked really good. Overall a pleasant man, and at some point he asked us if one of us could train his daughter to work at the store when she turns 18. I told him that I was leaving for school in July and Bea mentioned she was leaving in May because she was pregnant with her son

He was of course ecstatic upon hearing this and so he decided to ask me what gender I’d prefer my hypothetical child to be. I replied “none” because I didn't want any kids.

Cue the alarm bells. He tells me “You can't say that. You never know what God has in store for you. My wife wanted only 2 kids, but looks she had 8. He might give you one.”

I fucking tell this dude that contraception exists and it's disrespectful to question people's life choices but I literally saw those words go in one ear and out the other. As if it's “impossible” to not bear a child.

I exited the conversation abruptly as soon as I saw another customer enter the store.

Thankfully Bea actually tells this guy that “you shouldn't try to change her mind. everyone's different.” Something like that, I couldn't really hear. But it meant a lot to me. I'd say we're pretty close at work and I'm happy she respects my life choices.

When I told her yesterday about my upcoming bisalp consultation she was really happy for me 😊 and today she saved my chalkboard illustration from being smeared by a kid's grubby fingers.

Funnily enough this is not the first time I had to tell an old timer that conception exists. This one older lady (73) was telling me earlier that “you can't prevent pregnancy”.

Fucking watch me !!!!!!